The Truth Behind A Lie
by BTRobsession
Summary: MPREG/SLASH. All Logan and Kendall have been doing is fighting. when they break up, Logan decides to go out with James to make Kendall jealous. what happens when Logan gets more then what he bargained for? Kogan/Jagan/Kames.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: WARNING: SLASH, MPREG, DRAMA. Ok so this story popped in my head and i decided to write it. i know this chap was short, but the next one will be longer. this story starts out as kogan, then it turns to jagan, then at the end its kames. i will explain more in the story. later on in the story there will be mpreg, so sorry to those who hate mpreg. but for those who dnt really care about the idea, you are more then welcome to continue reading this. i apologize to those who hate mpreg. anyway, i will update this story later. i have two other stories im working on, and i need to finish them. sorry for the long A/N. bye =D**

"Logan just relax. I swear it meant nothing"

"How can I relax, Kendall? You were flirting with Jo!"

"Logie, I swear I wasn't flirting with her. We were just talking, and you took it all wrong" Kendall said.

"I didn't take anything wrong. I saw you hug her. I thought you loved me" I said.

Kendall stood up from his bed, and walked over to me. I tried to back away, but he grabbed my shoulders.

"Logie, I do you love you so much. I swear on my life that I wasn't flirting" Kendall said.

I grabbed his hand and gently touched the promise ring on his finger.

"Does this ring mean anything to you?" I asked.

"Of course it does, but…"

"But what Kendall?"

"Why are you asking me this? You know this rings mean a lot to me" Kendall said.

"Then if it means so much to you, why did you do what you did?" I asked.

"Logan, you're not listening to me. I told you that I wasn't flirting. Why cant you just admit that you're wrong for once?" Kendall asked.

"Because I'm not wrong. I saw you both flirting with each other" I said.

"I didn't flirt with Jo!" Kendall yelled.

"Yes you did! I saw you. I'm not stupid, Kendall" I said.

"Yes you are! You're acting like a stupid jealous boyfriend" Kendall said.

"So what if I'm jealous? You get jealous when other guys talk to me or when I talk to Camille. I cant even go down to the pool without you coming with me" I said.

"That's different"

"How is that different?"

"Because it is. Logan, just stop acting stupid, and just trust me" Kendall said.

"Then you trust me. It goes both ways" I said.

"I do trust you" Kendall said.

"No you don't. You think I'm going to cheat on you, and I'm not. I actually love you" I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kendall asked.

"It means that I actually care about you and our relationship" I said.

"I care about our relationship, Logie" Kendall said.

"No you don't. If you did, then you wouldn't be flirting with your ex" I said.

"Logan, just listen to me. I didn't flirt with Jo. Why cant you just get that through your fucking head?" Kendall asked.

"Because I cant! Why cant you just stop denying everything, and just tell the truth?" I asked.

"I am telling you the truth! You just want to be stupid and not believe me" Kendall said.

"I cant do this anymore" I said.

"Do what?" Kendall asked.

"I cant keep fighting with you. That's all we did today, and that's all we do everyday. I'm sick and tired of it" I said.

"So what are you saying?" Kendall asked. "You don't want to be with me anymore?"

"I don't want to be with you if we keep fighting" I said.

"Then give me the ring"

"What?"

"If you don't want to be with me, then give me the ring back" Kendall said.

I looked down at my hand, and touched the silver ring. I love this ring so much, and I didn't want to give it back. When Kendall first gave it to me, I never took it off for anything. But now things were different. I gently took the ring off my finger, then handed it to Kendall.

"So this is it?" Kendall asked. "We're over?"

"I guess we are" I said.

Kendall's hand closed tightly around the small piece of jewelry. I could tell he was trying to hold back his emotions, and I was trying to do the same. I didn't want him to see that I was hurt over our break up.

I gave Kendall one last look, then I turned around. I walked over to the door of our bedroom, and grabbed the knob. I left my hand on the knob. I was hoping that Kendall would say something, but he didn't. I sighed, then left the room. I walked into the living room, and collapsed on the couch.

James was sitting on the other end of the couch, looking down at his lap. I knew he probably heard everything Kendall and I talked about. If James wanted to talk to me, I wasn't in the mood. I sighed and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, and I left them fall. It was over. Everything I had with Kendall….was over.

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	2. Chapter 2

**James POV**

I sighed and collapsed on the orange couch in our apartment. I could clearly hear my two best friends fighting again. It was the third time today that Logan and Kendall argued. It was always for meaningless things.

First it was because Kendall didn't wake Logan up on time today. Kendall quickly apologized, and they made up. The second time was when Logan didn't catch Kendall when he fell during rehearsals. Logan apologized over and over, and Kendall gave him a kiss to shut him up.

Now they were arguing again because Jo was flirting with Kendall or something. I don't know exactly, but it had something to do with Jo. Logan got upset and stomped off to the apartment. I didn't think Logan was the jealous type, but I guess he was. Especially when it came to Kendall.

I could hear them both yelling at each other, and throwing insults left and right. Logan said something about not wanting to be with Kendall anymore. I couldn't hear everything, but I heard enough.

I wish Carlos was here to keep me company, but he went down to the pool. He said he needed to get away from all the yelling, and I didn't blame him. Logan and Kendall have been arguing all day, and it was starting to irritate everybody. Mrs. Knight and Katie even left because they were sick of it.

I was about to get up from the couch and go down to the pool, but stopped when the door to Logan and Kendall's room opened. Logan walked out of the room, and sat on the other end of the couch. He sighed and covered his face with his hands. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid. I didn't want to say something wrong, then I make Logan even more upset. After a few minutes of silence, I decided to talk to him.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

Logan shook his head. I frowned when he didn't even look up at me. I looked at his hand and noticed his promise ring wasn't on his finger. Logan loved that ring so much. It was a symbol of Kendall and Logan's love. They were promised to be together forever, but Logan wasn't wearing his ring. That surprised me. Logan never took his ring off for anything, but now it wasn't on his finger. I wondered if my two best friends actually ended it for good.

I was happy about it.

I know that sounds mean, but I don't like Logan and Kendall together. Everyone thought they made such a cute couple. I disagree.

The reason why I didn't like the idea of my friends dating, was because I was jealous. I was jealous of Logan. Now usually I would never be jealous of anyone. I was in fact the face. Why should I be jealous? Especially of my friends. I wasn't jealous because Logan is smarter then me. No, I was jealous because he has something that I wanted more then anything. He had Kendall.

I've been in love with Kendall since we were pee-wee hockey players. There was just something about Kendall that drove me crazy. He was always there for us. He came up with plans to get us out of a ridiculous situation. He was just amazing and one of the greatest guys I have even met.

His eyes were another thing that drove me insane. They were the prettiest green eyes I have ever seen. They lit up when he was happy or determined. When he was sad, they seemed to dim a little, but they were still gorgeous.

I could understand why Logan fell in love with Kendall, but I loved Kendall too. We belonged together. But I guess he couldn't see that, because he fell for Logan. My heart shattered into a billion little pieces when Kendall confirmed to us that he was dating Logan. I knew Logan and Kendall were close, but I didn't think they would actually get together.

I've tried to just accept the fact that Kendall wasn't mine, and that he probably never will be. He loves Logan more then anybody. Why would he love me anyway? I'm nothing special. Logan, on the other hand, actually meant something to Kendall. What did I mean to him? Probably nothing.

I just try my best to be happy for them. I'm their friend, and I should support them in anything they do. Even if it was hard to support them in this.

I knew my feelings for Kendall would diminish over time, but it would be hard. Its really hard to forget about someone when you've loved them since you could remember. But he was with Logan, and I didn't want to ruin what they have. I've actually thought of making a move on Kendall if he and Logan ever broke up, but I couldn't do that. I just wasn't that type of guy or friend. I had to be the one to fix their relationship, even if I didn't want to. But I guess my friends happiness is more important then mine. At least I was making Kendall happy.

"Logan, do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"There's nothing to talk about, James. Its over" he said.

"Don't say that. You guys are just going through a difficult time right now. I'm sure you guys can fix it and be happy" I said.

"He probably doesn't even want to talk to me, so how can I fix it?" Logan asked.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked.

Logan looked up at me. "Please would you do that?"

"Of course I would" I said.

Logan scooted closer to me and pulled me into a hug. "Thank you so much James"

"You're welcome buddy" I said.

I stood up from the couch and walked down the hallway to Logan and Kendall's shared room. I reached their room and knocked on the door.

"Go away Logan" Kendall said.

"Its me, James" I said.

The door opened and Kendall appeared. His eyes were red and filled with tears. They weren't the pretty green I'm used to.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk right now" he said.

"Kendall, its ok to talk. It helps you feel better" I said.

"No it doesn't" he said.

"Just let me talk to you" I said.

Kendall nodded and stepped aside from the door, allowing me to go inside the room. I sat on Logan's bed and Kendall sat on his own. He looked down at his lap, and I could see him playing with something. It was Logan's promise ring.

"Kendall, its not really over between you guys." I said.

"Yes it is James. He doesn't want me anymore" Kendall said.

"Yes he does. Kendall, he loves you so much" I said.

"Then why are we always fighting?" Kendall asked.

"Because that's what couples do. No relationship is perfect. I know you guys will get passed this. I have faith in you" I said.

Kendall looked up at me. "You do?"

"Of course I do. You guys are made for each other, and you deserve to…...be with Logan." I said.

"Thanks James" Kendall said.

"Sure thing. Now go in there and be with him" I said.

Kendall nodded and ran into the living room. I followed him, and stood by the hallway. Kendall ran up to Logan, and Logan stood up from the couch. Logan started to apologize, but Kendall pressed his lips to Logan's to shut him up. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until the need for air became too much. Kendall grabbed Logan's hand and gently placed the ring back on his finger. Logan smiled and pressed his lips to Kendall's.

I was glad they made up, but then I wasn't. I was back to square one. I was never going to be with Kendall. I was no where close. I couldn't take it anymore, so I left the apartment. I decided to go down to the pool with Carlos. At least Carlos could cheer me up with his always positive attitude. I found Carlos sitting in our usual spots. I sat down next to him and he turned to me.

"Couldn't take the arguing either huh?" he asked.

"They stopped fighting, but I didn't want to be in their way. They need some alone time." I said.

Carlos nodded. "Are you ok though? You look a little sad"

"I'm ok" I said.

"Just think happy thoughts about kittens" Carlos said.

I chuckled. "I will Carlos"

He turned back and closed his eyes. I was so upset that even kittens cant cheer me up. I just needed to forget about Kendall and move on. Even if it was going to be hard, I had to do it. Even if I couldn't have Kendall the way I wanted, I at least had him as a friend. And that's better then nothing.

** A/N: Thank you to everyone that reviewed my first chap . REVIEW =D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Logan's POV**

I snuggled under Kendall's arms as we sat on the orange sofa. We had just made up a few minutes ago, and it was all thanks to James. I needed to thank him for helping us, but I will do it when he comes back.

Lately all Kendall and I have been doing is arguing. We try our best to have a day with no fighting, but it never turns out that way. No matter how hard we try, we still get into fights. The fights are never big ones, well except for the one we had today.

I almost thought it was over for Kendall and I. The fight we had was a pretty big one. I guess I was the one who started the whole thing. I got mad when Jo and Kendall started talking when we were walking through the lobby. I got a little upset when they started chatting, but when Jo gave Kendall a hug, I lost it.

I couldn't stand seeing Kendall flirting with his ex. I knew he broke up with Jo to be with me, but he didn't have to flirt with her when he got the chance. I could tell Jo was trying her best to win Kendall back, but I wasn't going to let her. I couldn't believe Jo would flirt with Kendall right in front of me. It was a bitchy move, but Jo's a bitch. So of course she would do something like that.

I looked down at my hand, and started to play with the ring. I felt a little better now that my ring was back on my finger. I never ever want to take this ring off. It means so much to me, that I never want to lose it.

The same goes for Kendall. He means the world to me, that I don't want to lose him either. He means so much to me, that if I ever lost him, I would be a disaster. I cant live without him.

I sighed and continued to play with the ring. I was hoping I never have to lose Kendall again. I would be heartbroken if I did.

"Logie, are you ok?" Kendall asked.

I shrugged. "I guess so"

Kendall frowned. "Baby what's wrong?"

"Its just that…what if…I mean…"

"If what? Please tell me" Kendall said.

I sighed. "What if next time, we break up for real?"

"Logie, there wont be a next time. I am going to put more effort into our relationship. I don't ever want to lose you" Kendall said.

"I don't want to lose you either. But what if we keep fighting and our relationship really does end? I don't want that to happen Kenny" I said.

"That is not going to happen Logie. I promise our relationship will get better, and we wont argue anymore" Kendall said.

"You promise?"

"I promise"

I smiled and gave Kendall a peck on the cheek. He looked at me, and our eyes met. We slowly leaned in, locking our lips in a sweet kiss. The kiss started out gentle, then it turned rough and heated. Kendall lowered me down on my back, our lips never separating.

I moaned into the kiss when Kendall started to nibble on my bottom lip. I parted my lips, allowing Kendall access. I ran my fingers through his hair as he mapped out my entire mouth.

"Bedroom. Now!" Kendall said.

I nodded and Kendall carried me into our room bridal style. He laid me down on his bed, then climbed on top of me.

"Are we gonna have make up sex?" I asked.

"If you want to" Kendall said.

I smirked and pressed my lips to Kendall's for another kiss. Kendall attached his lips to my neck, and started to suck my pulse point. Kendall stopped sucking my neck, then tugged on my shirt. I sat up and took my shirt off, throwing it somewhere in the room. Kendall quickly removed his shirt, and threw it to the floor, then he started attacking my jeans. He unbuckled them, then removed my jeans and threw them next to his clothes.

Kendall smirked at the noticeable tent in my boxers. I quickly pulled Kendall back for another kiss. Kendall pulled away, then removed my boxers. I gasped when Kendall placed his lips at the tip of my cock. Kendall grabbed my member, then started lapping at the pre-cum. I let out a moan when Kendall took my whole length in his mouth. Kendall looked up at me with his green eyes as he bobbed his head. After a few seconds, I had to look away, and I kept my eyes on the ceiling.

I felt a tightness in my lower stomach, and I knew I was close. I tried to fight it, but Kendall was bringing me so much pleasure. I couldn't fight it anymore, and I knew I was going to explode.

"K-Kendall…..gonna…..c-cum" I warned.

Kendall ignored me, and continued to bob his head up and down my length. I grabbed a handful of the sheets, and squeezed them as hard as I could. I let out a long moan as I came hard in Kendall's mouth. Kendall swallowed most of the liquid, then pulled off me. I could see some of my cum dripping down his chin. He quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Do you want more Logie?" he asked.

I nodded. "Y-yeah"

Kendall reached over and grabbed something off the nightstand. I noticed he had a bottle of lube in his hand. He squirted some of the substance on his fingers, then brought them down to my entrance. He inserted one finger, then another, causing me to hiss in pain. Kendall added a third finger, then started to thrust them.

"Ok I'm ready" I said.

Kendall took his fingers out, then removed his jeans and boxers. He covered his fully erect cock with lube, then positioned himself at my entrance. I let out a small cry of pain when he gently pushed the head of his cock inside of me. Kendall let me adjust to the intrusion, then pushed all the way inside. He started to thrust slowly.

"Faster Kendall" I said.

Kendall started to thrust into me a little faster, making me moan loudly. I was so glad the apartment was empty, or else everyone would hear what we were doing. Kendall pulled out, leaving only the head of his cock inside, then he slammed into me. My body jolted, and I gripped the sheets tighter.

Kendall pulled out again, then slammed back into me, hitting my sweet spot dead on.

"Fuck yes! H-hit it again" I said.

Kendall nodded and continued to thrust, hitting that spot every time. The tightness in my stomach returned, and I knew I was close to my second release. I was almost there, but I needed a little more to drive me over the edge.

Kendall grabbed my cock and pumped it in time with his thrusts. That was too much for me, and came all over Kendall. It didn't take Kendall long before he released inside of me.

Kendall pressed his lips to mine, then rolled off me. We laid there for a minute, trying to catch our breath. I quickly sat up when I heard the front door to the apartment open. I jumped off the bed, and started to get dressed. I tossed Kendall his clothes, and he slipped them on. I grabbed his hand and dragged him out to the living room.

When we entered the living room, James and Carlos were looking at us. Kendall was still trying to button up his shirt.

"I know what you guys did" Carlos said.

"We didn't do anything" I said.

"Then why does it smell like sex in here, and why does Kendall still have stuff on his face?" Carlos asked.

"We didn't do anything, Carlos" I said.

"Sure" Carlos said.

I rolled my eyes and Carlos chuckled. He walked into the living and plopped down on the couch. I turned to James and noticed he looked a little upset.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm fine" James said.

Before I could thank him for what he did today, he went into his and Carlos's room, and slammed the door behind him.

"What's his problem?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. Should I go talk to him?" I asked.

"Nah, he's probably fine. Just give him some time to cool off" Kendall said.

"Yeah ok" I said.

Kendall grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch. I sat down in his lap and rested my head in his chest. I couldn't stop thinking about James. I wanted to know what was bothering my friend. I decided to just have give him some. I just hope I wasn't the one who upset him.


	4. Chapter 4

**James POV**

After spending a few hours at the pool with Carlos, I started to feel a little better. We talked and laughed about anything that came to mind. I was glad Carlos was able to help me stop thinking about Kendall.

While talking to Carlos, I made sure to never bring up Kendall. I didn't want my secret to slip, then Carlos knows everything. If Carlos knew I was in love with Kendall, he would either laugh at me or be disgusted. I was hoping if Carlos ever found out, he wouldn't do any of those things.

Carlos did ask if I liked anyone. I stuttered for a minute, then lied and said I liked the new girl. Since I was bi, I thought the new girl was cute, but her looks could never compare to Kendall's. Kendall was so beautiful and amazing. I loved everything about him.

After a while of talking, we decided to go back up to the apartment. It was starting to get dark, and we didn't want to get in trouble with Mrs. Knight. If she was even home that is. She never did say what time she would be back. Hopefully Katie and Mrs. Knight weren't home yet.

Carlos and I made our way through the lobby, still laughing and talking. We reached our apartment, and Carlos opened the door. We stopped laughing when Logan and Kendall ran into the living room. Both Kendall and Logan's hair was a little messed up, and Kendall's shirt was unbuttoned. He quickly started to fix his shirt when he noticed I was staring.

I immediately got angry. Logan thought it was ok to go ahead and fuck Kendall. Of course neither of my friends knew about my feelings for Kendall, so I guess I shouldn't be getting upset with Logan. But I was still jealous of him, so of course I would get angry.

"I know what you guys did" Carlos said.

"We didn't do anything" Logan said.

"Then why does it smell like sex in here, and why does Kendall still have stuff on his face?" Carlos asked.

"We didn't do anything, Carlos" Logan said.

"Sure" Carlos said.

Logan rolled his eyes and Carlos walked into the living room. He plopped down on the couch and turned the TV on. Logan turned his attention to me, and furrowed his brows.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

I tried to keep my cool, and just answer him without sounding angry, but that didn't work.

"I'm fine" I growled.

Logan was about to open his mouth again, but I walked away. I went to mine and Carlos's room, slamming the door hard behind me. I was so angry that I didn't want to be in the same room with Logan.

I collapsed on my bed, and buried my face into my pillow. I could feel tears approaching, but I wasn't going to let them slip. It was stupid crying over someone, but I couldn't help it. I loved Kendall so much that I couldn't help but cry over him

I could've made a move on him when he broke up with Logan, but I couldn't do it. I would just be a horrible friend if I ever did something like that.

I wanted so badly to tell someone about how I feel, but I was scared. I've thought of telling Mrs. Knight, but she would probably run and tell Kendall. It seemed like there was no one I could talk to. There was always Carlos, but I was still afraid to tell him. I don't want him to treat me different.

I looked up when the bedroom door opened. I sat up quickly when Carlos entered the room.

"James, are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm uh…fine" I said.

"Are you sure?" Carlos asked.

"Did Logan send you in here, or are you really worried about me?" I asked.

"Both" Carlos said.

"Well I'm fine, so you can leave" I said.

Carlos sighed and walked over to my bed. He sat down next to me, then turned his head in my direction.

"What's wrong James?" Carlos asked.

"I cant tell you" I said.

"Why not?"

"Because its too personal"

"Maybe if you tell me, I could help" Carlos said.

"I don't know" I said.

"C'mon James, we still each other everything." Carlos said.

"Fine I'll tell you, but you have to promise to keep this between us" I said

Carlos nodded. "Ok"

I sighed. "I'm sort of in love with someone"

"Who is it? Do I know her?" Carlos asked.

"Uh yeah you do" I said.

"What does she look like?" Carlos asked.

"Um she's tall. Has dirty blonde hair and the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen" I said.

"She sounds hot. And she lives here right?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah. Even on the same floor as us" I said.

"What's her name?" Carlos asked.

"Kendall" I said.

"That's so cool. She has the same name as Kendall" Carlos said.

I sighed. "No Carlos, I like Kendall. Kendall Knight"

"Wait as in our Kendall? Tall, blonde and eyebrows, that one?" Carlos asked.

"Y-yeah that one" I said.

"But…how? I mean I thought you liked girls" Carlos said.

"I do…well sorta" I said.

"So you're bi?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah"

"Oh"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you anything. You would just treat me different" I said.

"James, I would never do that. I'm your friend, and I don't care if you're bi or straight. You're still the same James Diamond to me" Carlos said.

I smiled. "Thanks Carlos"

"Don't mention it. So um…are you gonna tell Kendall that you're in love with him?" Carlos asked.

"I cant do that. He obviously doesn't feel the same way, and he's with Logan" I said.

"Well what if he breaks up with Logan? Then you can have a chance" Carlos said.

"Yeah, but they're never going to break up. They're madly in love" I said.

"Yeah I guess, but I still think you should tell Kendall" Carlos said.

"I don't know" I said.

"Aw c'mon James. Do you really love him?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, but…."

"Then tell him how you feel. Maybe he will realize that he likes you too, and that he is with the wrong person" Carlos said.

"I cant ok" I said.

"Yes you can. You're James Diamond. The most confident person I've ever met" Carlos said.

"But when I'm around Kendall, I don't feel like myself." I said. "I cant do it ok"

"James, you can do this ok. Just take that risk, and see where it leads you" Carlos said.

"You're right. I'll tell him" I said.

Carlos patted me on the shoulder. "There ya go"

"Wait, is he alone?" I asked.

"I think so. Logan went to get ready for bed" Carlos said.

I stood up from the bed, and walked over to the door. I grabbed the doorknob, and paused.

"You got this James" Carlos said.

I took a deep breath, then opened the door. I slowly made my way down the hallway. I quietly entered the living room, and found Kendall watching TV. Kendall looked up when I walked into the living room.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey. Um Kendall?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"There's something I need to tell you" I said.

Kendall grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. He set the remote on the coffee table, then turned back to me.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I….um…."

Before I could say anything else, Logan walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch, and snuggled next to Kendall. Logan gave Kendall a kiss on the cheek, then turned towards me.

"Oh hi James" Logan said.

"Hey" I said.

"Um James, what did you want to tell me?" Kendall asked.

"Um...that I'm sorry for acting like a jerk earlier" I said.

"Its cool" Kendall said.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go to bed" I said.

"Night James" Kendall said.

I nodded, then went back into my bedroom. Carlos looked up when I entered the room. I closed the door, then walked over to my bed.

"How did it go?" Carlos asked.

"I didn't tell him" I said.

"Why not?" Carlos asked.

"It wasn't the right time" I said.

"Logan was there, right?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah" I said.

"I'm sorry James. You still have more chances. Don't give up so easily" Carlos said.

"Yeah. I'm going to bed ok" I said.

"Ok. Goodnight" Carlos said.

Carlos left the room, and I changed into my pajamas. I climbed into bed, and turned the light off. I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling.

I didn't know how I was going to tell Kendall that I had feelings for him. Logan was always with him, so I could never get Kendall alone. I was going to listen to Carlos and not give up on this. I'm James Diamond, and I don't give up on something that I want.

I will tell Kendall how I feel about him. I just hope he feels the same way.

**REVIEW PLEASE =D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Logan's POV**

Its been a few days, and Kendall and I haven't fought at all. We seemed to be getting better at keeping our cool, and not blowing up on each other. If Kendall ever bugged me, I would try my best not to get mad at him. It seemed Kendall was doing the same thing if I ever bugged him. I was glad our relationship was making an improvement.

I started to notice that James was acting a little different. He would be a little distant from us and not act like his usual self. Whenever I talked to him about it, he would say he's fine. I didn't buy it. I tried asking Carlos if knew anything, but he claimed he didn't know what was wrong with James. I was starting to think that maybe James was mad at me, and I didn't know why.

I sat down on the couch next to Kendall, and he wrapped his arms around me. James and Carlos were in the kitchen getting snacks for movie night. It was Carlos's turn to pick a movie, so he chose Red Riding Hood. I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch it. A lot of people told me that the movie was pretty bad. But since I didn't want to make Carlos cry, I decided to watch it.

James and Carlos came back into the living room, and set the snacks on the coffee table. Kendall picked up a potato chip, and fed it to me. I smiled, then gave him a peck on the lips. When I pulled away, I noticed James was glaring at me. Our eyes met, then James quickly looked down. Carlos looked at him, and James gave Carlos a sad smile. Carlos nodded as if he knew what was bothering James.

I didn't understand why my friends would keep something from Kendall and I. If either of us had a problem, we would always talk about it. That's what best friends do, but my friends didn't want to say why they were so upset.

"Are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"Uh yeah. Why?" I asked.

"You looked lost in thought or something. Is something bothering you?" Kendall asked.

"No I'm fine" I said.

Kendall nodded, then gave me a kiss on the cheek. Carlos started the movie, then got comfortable on the floor. I tried to pay attention to the movie, but I couldn't. I was trying to figure out what James and Carlos were hiding. I rested my head in Kendall's lap, and he started to play with my hair. My body instantly relaxed, and I almost fell asleep a few times.

After a couple of hours, the move finally ended. Carlos put the movie away, then shut the TV off.

"That was a good movie huh?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah it was ok" Kendall said.

"Well I thought it was pretty cool" Carlos said.

"What did you think, James?" I asked.

"Um it was alright I guess" James said.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah" James said.

"But you look a little upset" I said.

"Logan, I'm fine, so stopping asking me" James said.

I looked up at Kendall and he shrugged. Carlos turned to James and gave him a small smile. Kendall continued to play with my hair and I was soon feeling relaxed again.

We sat in silence for a minute, and it was a little awkward. Carlos was the first to break the silence between us.

"Um Kendall?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Kendall asked.

"I know this is random, but how did you and Logan meet again?" Carlos asked.

"That's easy. We met in pre-k" Kendall said.

"You still remember that?" I asked.

Kendall looked down at me. "Of course I do. I remember that day perfectly"

"Oh really? Then how exactly did we meet?" I asked.

"Oh um….didn't we start playing or something? I'm pretty sure that's how it happened" Kendall said.

"No I don't think that's it. I recall you were a total jerk to me" I said.

"I was not" Kendall said.

"Yes you were" I said.

"No I wasn't. I was nice to you and we started playing together" Kendall said.

"Ok that is not what happened. It was my first day and you were mean to me. You started calling me names, and you even shoved me on the playground" I said.

"Logie, you're just exaggerating. I wasn't mean to you at all." Kendall said.

"You don't remember that day do you?" I asked.

"Yes I do, and I remember you being a little hateful towards me" Kendall said.

I quickly sat up. "What!"

"Yeah, you weren't a very nice four year old" Kendall said.

"Me? You were way worse then I was. I only knocked you down once, and that was an accident. Everything you did to me was no accident. Kendall, just admit that you were an asshole towards me" I said.

"Then if I was an asshole, why did you still become my friend?" Kendall asked.

"Because I knew that wasn't the real you. I wanted to get to know the real Kendall Knight" I said.

"Am I an asshole now?" Kendall asked.

"You have your moments, but you're sort of acting like one now" I said.

"Then if I'm such an asshole towards you, why are you still with me?" Kendall asked.

"Kenny don't start. I don't want to argue today" I said.

"Then don't accuse me of being mean to you when we were kids" Kendall said.

"But you were. Look, I don't care anymore ok" I said.

"Then why are you bringing it up? We didn't have to bring up stupid memories" Kendall said.

"You think the first time we met is a stupid memory?" I asked.

"Logie, I didn't mean it like that" Kendall said.

"Then why did you say it?" I asked.

"Because…"

"Because you wish you never met me" I said.

"Don't put words in my mouth. See this is why we fight. You always have to make things more difficult then it needs to be" Kendall said.

"You really are an asshole" I said.

"You know what, I don't need this right now" Kendall said as he stood up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To the pool. I don't want to be near you right now" Kendall said.

"Then leave" I said.

Kendall opened the door, then left the apartment. I grabbed my hair and pulled at it as hard as I could. I was so angry with Kendall. He always found a way to piss me off and ruin our relationship. But I wasn't going to let him ruin anything this time. I stood up from couch and ran out of the apartment. I caught up with Kendall right as he was passing through the lobby.

"Kendall!" I shouted.

Kendall turned around to face me. He rolled his eyes, then continued to walk towards the pool. I ran up to him and grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face me.

"Don't walk away from me" I said.

"Then don't treat me like shit" Kendall said.

"I wasn't. You were the one who was acting like a jerk" I said.

"I was acting like a jerk? If I recall, it was you who was acting like one. You accused me of being a jerk when we were kids, and now you're doing it again. Wow Logan you can be a really bitch sometimes" Kendall said.

I turned my head when I heard people whispering. I had totally forgotten we were in the lobby. The Jennifer's would look at us, then whisper to each other. Camille noticed the fight going on, and she looked a little upset. Even Bitters seemed intrigued by the argument Kendall and I were having.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" I asked.

"No. I'm done trying to fix things with you. Every time I try, you just make it worse by acting like this" Kendall said.

"I try to work things out with you, but you still don't put any effort into our relationship. You promised you would, but you didn't do it" I said.

"You know what Logan, leave me alone. I don't want to talk or be near you right now" Kendall said.

"Fine. I don't really care. It just shows how much you really care about our relationship" I said.

"Why are you acting like a fucking bitch?" Kendall asked.

"Why are you acting like an asshole" I asked.

"You really are a jerk. I don't even know why I put up with you" Kendall said.

I slapped Kendall across the face, and he hissed in pain. I walked back towards the elevators, ignoring the gasps and whispers that came from all the other residents. I went back to the apartment, and went into my room. I slammed the door and collapsed on my bed. I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it.

I didn't understand why Kendall was acting like this. We were doing fine, but now everything was ruined. I thought our last fight was bad, but this one was worse. Probably one of the worst fights we've ever had.

I really wanted to us to stop fighting, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen. All we do it fight, and its never going to stop.

I had a feeling this really was the end for us.

**A/N: HI! sorry this chap was short, but i will update as soon as i can. i have two other stories that im working on, and im trying to get those done. anyway i hope you guys liked this chap =). i will be getting to the jagan part soon. bye =D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Kendall's POV**

I went down to the pool, and took a seat in a lounge chair. I needed some time to think about things, and to get away from Logan. He was driving me crazy, and I didn't want to put up with him at the moment. I was so tired of him starting all the fights, then pointing the finger at me. I never started any of the arguments that we had, I just made them worse with my attitude. I guess that was something I needed to work on.

I looked around the pool, and noticed everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Guitar Dude was happily strumming away on his guitar. The Jennifer's were relaxing in the lounge chairs, reading one of their fashion magazines. And Tyler was finding a place to hide from his mom.

Everything seemed like a normal evening at the Palm Woods, but for me it wasn't. While everyone was enjoying themselves, I was upset because my relationship with Logan was going downhill. I was really trying to make our relationship better, but it wasn't working. We were both trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed. Maybe Logan and I needed a break.

I saw Jo sitting on the other side of the pool. She was sitting in a lounge chair and reading a magazine. I know I broke up with her, but we were still friends. And right now, I needed a friend to talk to. I stood up from my seat and walked over to Jo. When I approached her, she looked up and smiled.

"Hey Kendall. What's up?" she asked.

"Nothing much. Can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked.

"Sure" she said.

I sat down in the chair next to her, then turned to face her.

"What did you want to talk about?" Jo asked.

"Its about Logan" I said.

"Oh ok. What did he do?" she asked.

"Its not just him, its both of us. We keep fighting all the time, and I don't know how to fix it. Logan is always blaming me for starting them, but I just make it worse by getting angry. I don't know what to do. I thought about taking a break from Logan. Should I?" I asked.

"Hmm maybe you should. If all you guys are doing is arguing, then some time apart will do some good" Jo said.

I sighed. "Yeah you're right, but….I don't want to lose him. I love him so much and I don't think I can handle being away from him. What if he stops loving me and he moves on with someone else?"

"Kendall, I promise Logan isn't going to do that. And if he does, you can move on too" Jo said.

"I don't think I can. I don't like anyone else but him" I said.

"Not even me?" Jo asked.

"I'm sorry Jo, but I don't" I said.

"Maybe this will change your mind" she said.

Jo leaned in and our lips met for a kiss. I wanted to pull away, but I couldn't. I knew kissing her was wrong, but right now I didn't care. We pulled apart, and looked into each others eyes.

"Did I change your mind?" she asked.

"I….I don't know. I have a lot to think about" I said.

I stood up from the chair, then went into the lobby. I really needed to talk to Logan about something. I think we did need some time apart from each other for a little while. I hope he doesn't hate me for thinking this, but its for the best.

I was so confused right now. I knew I was madly in love with Logan, but when Jo kissed me, my feelings for her came back. I don't even know why I kissed her back, I shouldn't have. I hope Logan never finds out.

I went up to the apartment and found James and Carlos in the kitchen. I scanned the living room for Logan, but he wasn't there.

"He's in there" Carlos said as he pointed towards the hallway.

I nodded then walked towards Logan's and my room. I knocked once, then slowly opened the door. Logan was sitting at his computer, typing away. He turned around when he heard me come in.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Nothing" he said.

"Oh ok. Um can we talk?" I asked.

Logan shut off his computer, then took a seat on his bed. I walked over and sat down next to him.

"Um Logie"

"Wait Kendall, before you say anything, I've been thinking" Logan said.

"About what?" I asked.

"I think I came up with a few solutions that could fix our constant fighting" Logan said.

"I thought of some too" I said.

"You did? That's great! What is it?" he asked.

"Tell me yours first" I said.

Logan nodded. "My solution is that we could see someone to help us. You know like couples counseling or….."

"Logie….."

"…We could just try to talk it out and….."

"Logan….."

"Forget about….."

"Logan, we need a break" I said.

"What?" Logan asked.

"We need a break" I said.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked.

"I think we need some time apart from each other" I said.

"Oh"

"Logie I'm so sorry, but I think its for the best. We can just be apart for a while, then get back together" I said.

"So we're over? For real this time?" Logan asked.

I sighed. "Yeah…we are"

"Ok. I guess you want this back right?" Logan asked as he gave me his promise ring.

I sighed and slowly took the ring from him. I swirled it with my fingers, then closed my hand tightly around it.

"I'm so sorry Logie" I said.

"Its ok Kenny" Logan said.

"No its not. We shouldn't be breaking up, especially for a stupid reason." I said.

"Its fine Kendall, not all relationships last. I guess ours just wasn't meant to be" Logan said.

"No Logie it was. I just think some time apart will fix everything" I said.

Logan nodded. "Ok"

I pulled Logan into a hug, and he rested his head on my shoulder. We pulled away after a few minutes, and Logan stood up from the bed. He walked over to the door and opened it.

"I'm sorry I wasn't the right person for you. I hope you find who you're looking for" Logan said.

"Logie"

Logan shook his head, then left the room. I fell back on the bed and covered my face with my hands. I felt absolutely stupid right now. I just let the best thing that's ever happen to me, walk away. I couldn't let go of Logan, but it was too late. We were over and it was all my fault.

Breaking up with Logan was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.

**A/N: HI! So um im sorry this chap was short, but the next one is just as short =/. anyway i hope the chap was good and i will update soon i guess idk. please Review =D**


	7. Chapter 7

**James POV**

A week has passed since Logan and Kendall broke up. Everyone seemed upset about this, except for Carlos and I. When I found out that my friends really did end it for good, I couldn't help but feel happy. I wanted so badly to make a move on Kendall and tell him how I feel, but I never had that chance. But now, I could finally tell him my feelings for him.

I sort of felt bad for Logan. The poor little guy was taking his break up pretty hard. He tried acting like it didn't affect him, but I could see right through all of that. He barely hung out with us anymore, and he left the apartment whenever he got the chance. He told us that he joined some math club, so he could focus on other things.

When we had to go to rehearsals, Logan and Kendall wouldn't even get near each other. Even when they were in their room it was difficult for them. They barley spoke or made any eye contact, and that only made me happier. Wow was I a bad person or what.

We had just gotten back from rehearsals, and Carlos and I were playing video games. Kendall was down at the pool relaxing, and Logan went to another one of his math club things.

"So are you going to tell him?" Carlos asked.

"Who?" I asked.

"Who do you think? Kendall" Carlos said.

"Oh right. Yeah I want to, but I haven't found the right opportunity" I said.

"Well you better do it soon" Carlos said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because Kendall might date someone else, so you better make your move" Carlos said.

"I still have time" I said.

"But not for long. I mean Kendall isn't a bad looking guy and….."

"Hey he's mine! So back off" I said.

"I was just kidding. Jeez James calm down. I'm straight remember?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah I know. Sorry, I tend to get a little jealous" I said.

"I can tell" Carlos said.

I groaned and threw the controller on the couch when Carlos beat me.

"Yeah!" Carlos said.

"You cheated" I said.

"No I didn't. You're just mad because you're a loser" Carlos said.

I glared at Carlos, then launched myself at him. Carlos screamed and we fell off the couch. We started rolling around on the floor, and I grabbed Carlos's helmet.

"My helmet! Give it back" Carlos said.

"Try and get it" I said.

Carlos pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"James, give it back" he said.

"Aw does someone want their helmet?" I asked.

Carlos glared at me, then attacked me. I fell to the floor and Carlos jumped on top of me. He ruffled my hair and I screamed.

"Ok, ok. You win" I said.

Carlos grabbed his helmet, then stood up. He put it back on his head, then patted the top.

"You suck" I said.

Carlos chuckled then helped me up.

"That's what you get for taking my helmet" he said.

"Yeah, yeah" I said.

"How about a rematch" Carlos said.

"Oh you're on" I said.

We sat back down on the couch, and continued playing our game. Right as I was about to beat Carlos, Logan walked into the apartment. He set his keys on the counter, then walked over to us.

"Um guys?" he asked.

"Hold on buddy" Carlos said.

"I need to talk to James" Logan said.

I paused the game and looked up at Logan. "Me? What for?"

"Please? I really need to talk to you…..alone" Logan said.

I nodded, then stood up from the couch. Logan went into his room, and I turned to Carlos. He shrugged and I sighed. I walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"James, I know this is going to sound a little weird, but I need you to do something for me"

**A/N: HI. sorry that this chap was so short and i cliffhanger. i have the next chapter typed up, but i might update tomorrow or whenever i have time. so anyway i hope this chap was ok =D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Logan's POV**

"What! No, no, no. We cant do that" James said.

"Please James. It's the only way" I said.

"Fake dating you isn't going to help you get Kendall back" James said.

"Please James you have to understand. If Kendall sees me with someone else, he will realize that he made a mistake by breaking up with me" I said.

"Why cant you ask Camille?" James asked. "You're still friends with her"

"I cant do that. I don't really have feelings for her, and she's with that Steve guy" I said.

"But Logan, we cant. What if Kendall hates me? I don't want him to hate me" James said.

"James, I promise Kendall wont hate you" I said.

"Yes he will. I will be fake dating his ex. Friends don't do that" James said.

"James, it will only be for a few days." I said.

"But…"

"Please James, just help me this once. I've helped you before with a lot of things" I said.

James sighed. "Fine, but only for a couple of days"

"Thank you. I promise nothing bad will happen" I said.

"You better be right" James said.

"When have I ever been wrong?" I asked.

James rolled his eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. So when do we start acting like a couple?" James asked.

"We could start today, but that might be a little too soon. Maybe tomorrow we could or something" I said.

"Yeah I guess" James said.

"James, don't worry about this. Nothing bad is going to happen" I said.

"Ok fine, but I'm still not happy about this" James said.

"Yeah well it will only be for a few days. But you're gonna have to lie about being gay. It would just be weird that we're dating and you're straight. No one will believe us" I said.

"Well I don't really have to pretend to like guys" James said.

"Wait you're gay?" I asked.

"No. I'm bi" James said.

"That explains a lot" I said.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Well you've kissed a lot of girls, and I've seen you check out guys sometimes. I used to think you were only looking at them to see if you were prettier, but now I understand why you really checked those guys out" I said.

James blushed a dark shade of red. "Yeah"

I chuckled. "James, its fine. I'm not judging you or anything. I'm pretty sure Kendall is bi too"

"He is?" James asked.

"Well that's what I think. I've seen him check out a few girls" I said.

"Oh" James said.

"How come you never told us? We tell each other everything" I said.

"I don't know. I just thought that you guys would hate me" James said.

"We would never hate you. When Kendall and I came out, you guys didn't hate us" I said.

"That's because you're my friends, and I would never hate you" James said.

"Exactly. James, we would never hate you for something like this" I said.

"Really?"

"Really"

James smiled. "Thanks Logan"

"No problem" I said.

"So do you want to play some video games with Carlos?" James asked

"Sure" I said.

"Should we hold hands or something when we got out there?" James asked.

"Not yet. Carlos will ask too many questions" I said.

"Ok, so we tell everyone that we're dating tomorrow, right?"

"That's the plan"

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***

James and I were supposed to tell everyone we were dating, but that didn't happen. Its been a week since James and I made that agreement, but we still haven't told anyone. I finally decided that we needed to tell everyone, and we needed to tell them now.

Katie, Carlos and James were sitting on the couch watching TV. Mrs. Knight was in the kitchen making dinner. I had no idea where Kendall was, but I was hoping he would return soon. I really wanted to see the look on his face when I told everyone that James and I were dating. Well fake dating, but no one was going to know that part.

I stood up from my seat on the couch and dragged James into my room. Once both of us were in my room, I closed the door.

"What's up?" James asked

"We need to tell them" I said.

"So soon?" James asked. "I kinda liked still being single"

"James, this is serious. We really have to tell them" I said.

James sighed. "If you're ready, then so am I"

"Ok and they might ask us questions, so be prepared if they do" I said.

"What kind of questions? Like if I know your favorite color, those kind?" James asked.

"No not those kind. Like how long have we had feelings for each other. Stuff like that" I said.

"Ok. How long have I had feelings for you?" James asked.

"Um a few years I guess, then when Kendall and I broke up you asked me out" I said.

"That makes me sound like a bad person" James said.

"Do you have a better one?" I asked.

"Yeah. You've been in love with me for a while, and when Kendall broke up with you, you immediately gave yourself to me" James said.

"What! That makes me sound like a whore" I said.

"Well pick a story Logan, we don't have all day" James said.

"We're going with mine. At least that way I don't sound like a whore" I said.

"Fine" James said.

"There's one more thing?" I said.

"And what's that?" James asked.

"They might want us to do couple things" I said.

"Like?" James asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Holding hands, kissing"

"Oh no! I'm not kissing you" James said.

"You may have to" I said.

"That wasn't part of the agreement" James said.

"It kinda was. When you're a couple, you kiss" I said.

"Fine, but I'm not shoving my tongue in your mouth" James said.

"I didn't want you too anyway" I said.

"Good. Now c'mon on _boyfriend_. We have to tell everyone" James said.

I rolled my eyes. James opened the bedroom door, then dragged me back into the living room. We sat down on the couch, and I placed my hand on James's knee. He flinched from my touch, then relaxed. We all looked up when the front door to the apartment opened. Kendall walked in, then sat down next to Katie. I looked at James and he nodded. James grabbed the remote, and shut the TV off.

"Hey! I was watching that" Carlos said.

"Guys, there's something really important I need to tell you" I said.

Mrs. Knight walked into the living room. "What is it honey?"

"Um James and I are….dating" I said.

"What!" everyone said.

"Yeah. Surprise" I said.

"How…..how did this happen?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Um…James had a crush on me for a while, then when things ended with Kendall, James asked me out" I said.

"Oh Logan, always telling a different story" James said.

"What?" I whispered.

"If you guys must know, Logan has had a crush on me for a while. When he and Kendall broke up, little Logan here ran to me and…."

"Ok James," I said as I patted his knee. "I think everyone gets it"

"So you guys are dating? For real?" Carlos asked.

I nodded and grabbed James's hand. Kendall looked back and forth between James and I, and I could see the pained expression on his face. My plan was definitely working.

"Then if you guys are really dating, prove it" Katie said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Kiss" Katie said.

"Now? Nah its ok. I already got some of that earlier" James said.

"You did? I didn't see you guys" Carlos said.

"Uh…" James said.

"Just kiss already" Katie said.

I turned to James and his eyes widened a bit. I knew he didn't really want to kiss me, and neither did I. I didn't like James like that, but I had to pretend. I would do anything to get Kendall back. I moved my lips closer to James's and he leaned in. Our lips met for a small kiss.

"Tada" I said.

"That was not a kiss" Katie said.

"Yes it was" I said.

"Are you sure you guys are dating?" Carlos asked.

"Yup. This little guy and I are together" James said.

"So you're gay too?" Katie asked.

"I'm actually bi. Big difference" James said.

"Well….I'm happy for you two" Mrs. Knight said.

"Thanks Mama Knight" I said.

Mrs. Knight smiled, then went back into the kitchen. I turned back to my friends to see their reactions on the news. Katie looked bored out of her mind, Carlos looked really confused and Kendall looked hurt and angry. Just the way I was expecting him to look.

"So, what do you guys think?" I asked.

"Whatever" Katie said.

"Ok? Carlos?" I asked.

"Its um….shocking and interesting I guess" Carlos said.

I nodded, then turned to Kendall. He looked deep into my eyes, then shook his head. He stood up from the couch and went into the kitchen-bathroom. I sighed, then turned to James. I stood up from the couch, and went into my bedroom, James right behind me. When we were both in the room, I closed the door.

"Well that wasn't so bad" James said.

"Are you kidding? That was horrible. No one believed us" I said.

"Kendall kinda seemed like he did, and he's the one you want to believe it, right?" James asked.

"Yeah, but everyone else kinda has to believe it too" I said.

"So what do we do?" James asked.

I sighed. "Make it more believable I guess. So that means we have to hold hands and kiss, but a real kiss"

"Ok fine, but are you sure this will work?"

"I hope so"

**A/N: HI! um so yeah i didnt like that the previous chap was so short, so i decided to post this one. i hope this one was better then the last one. pretty please review =D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Kendall's POV**

Its been a few days since Logan announced he was dating James. I was upset and heartbroken, but I was more angry then anything. Logan and I have only been broken up for only a week, and already he was with someone else. And that someone was my so called best friend. If James really was my friend, he wouldn't have made a move on Logan. And if Logan really did love me, he wouldn't have moved on so quickly. And with James.

I was so fucking pissed! This was the first time I've ever been this angry. Never in my life would I have thought my ex and 'best friend' would hook up. It made absolutely no sense to me. I didn't understand why they would do that.

Every time I see Logan and James acting like a couple, I want to seriously punch James. I wanted to jack up pretty boys face so bad. No matter how bad I wanted to hurt James, I couldn't. I'm not the type of guy that would physically hurt someone. Unless it was absolutely necessary. And right now it was.

I was just as upset with Logan. How could he do this to me? The one who said that he loved and cared about me. Then if I meant that much to him, why was he with James? I know we broke up, but I didn't expect him to move on so quickly. But Jo said if Logan ever moved on, for me to do the same.

I've seen plenty of good looking girls and guys, but I don't know if I would date them. Logan was the only person I wanted, but I didn't have him anymore. I wanted him back in my arms. I wanted to kiss his perfect pink lips. I wanted to tell him how much I love him, and for him to say it back. But he wasn't mine anymore. He belonged to someone else.

But if Logan wanted to go ahead and be with James, then I could be someone too. And I knew exactly who that person would be. Someone Logan would be upset to see me with.

I sat on the orange couch and glared at my ex boyfriend and ex best friend. They were watching a movie and cuddling. Yuck! Only Logan and I were allowed to cuddle. Logan used to love resting his head on my shoulder and I would wrap my arm around him. But now he was cuddling with James. It made me sick.

Logan glanced at me a few times, then back at James. I felt myself getting even more angry when Logan placed a kiss on James cheek. James seemed a little surprised by what Logan did, and I thought that was a little weird. Logan looked back at James, as if to tell him something. James must of understood because he grabbed Logan's face, and pulled him into a small kiss. That's it! I've had enough.

I stood up from the couch, and left the apartment. I made sure to slam the door on my way out. I stepped into the lobby, and scanned the area. After a few minutes, I found who I was looking for.

"Hey Jo" I said.

"Hey Kendall. What's up?" she asked.

"Nothing much. Hey um, what are you doing later?" I asked.

"Um nothing really. Why?" Jo asked.

"Well because I'm free and I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie or something" I said.

Jo smiled. "I would love to. Pick me up at seven?"

"It's a date" I said.

Jo smiled, then walked over towards the pool. I went back up to the apartment, and found James and Logan still on the couch. But they weren't cuddling anymore. When they saw me walk in, Logan immediately jumped into James lap, and James wrapped his arms around Logan. I gave them a questioning look, then sat down on the couch. I didn't know why they were acting so weird.

"So, guess who's got a date tonight?" I asked.

"Um…." James said.

"Me" I said answering my own question.

"You!" James and Logan said.

I couldn't help but smirk at their reaction. They sounded mad about my date. I didn't understand why James was upset though.

"Yup. My date is at seven" I said.

"Who are you going out with?" James asked.

"Jo," I said. "We're gonna go see a movie"

I saw James clutch his hands into fists and Logan's brown eyes turn sad. Another smirk spread across my face when I saw this. It was amusing to me.

"Why are you with that blonde bimbo?" Logan asked.

"Because I can. Why Logie? Are you jealous? Because that's what it seems like." I said.

"I'm not jealous. I don't really care at all" Logan said.

"Really? Then why are you getting mad?" I asked.

"I'm not getting mad, Kendall. Just forget that I ever said anything" Logan said.

"Whatever you say Logan. Whatever you say" I said.

"Are you sure you want to go out tonight?" James asked. "The weather man said its supposed to rain. That's not good dating weather"

"Since when do you watch the news?" I asked.

"Since…um…..yesterday" James said.

"Ok? But James, I'm still going. I don't want to be stuck here all day. Now that I'm single again, there are so many things I never got to do before. I'm free now to do whatever I want" I said.

"Asshole" Logan muttered.

"What Logan?" I asked.

"Have fun on your date. James and I are going to watch a movie, then maybe other stuff" Logan said.

I clutched my hands into fists. I needed to calm down, but it was hard. Logan was obviously making me jealous, and I was making him jealous as well. I didn't really like Jo again, I just wanted to see what Logan's reaction would be if I told him I was going out with her again. And his reaction was exactly what I was expected.

"Well then, I hope you two have fun" I said.

"Oh we will" Logan said.

I stood up from the couch, and went into my bedroom. I had a date in a few hours, and I needed to get ready. I planned on kissing Jo, then telling James and Logan how great it was kissing her. That would sure make Logan blow up.

I had a feeling I was making Logan really jealous. And I loved it.

**A/N: sorry this chapter was short, but i will try and make the next one longer. i hope everyone is liking the story. if not thats cool too. bye for now =)**


	10. Chapter 10

**James POV**

I watched as Kendall walked out of the apartment. He had a date with Jo tonight, and I was not happy. How could he go out with Jo again? He didn't even like her that way anymore. I didn't understand why he would do that. Then it clicked. He was only going out with her to make Logan jealous. He must've wanted Logan back, but I didn't want my friends to get back together. I wanted Kendall for myself.

I still loved Kendall, but I could never tell him how I feel. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it. It also didn't help that I was fake dating his ex. Even if it was all fake, it was still something I shouldn't be doing.

I could tell that Logan was just as upset about Kendall as I was. The whole time Kendall was talking about Jo, Logan kept glaring. He looked a little sad at first, then that all turned to anger. Pure anger.

"Did you see that? How….how could he do that?" Logan asked.

He was pacing the living room angrily, and I was sitting on the couch. I could understand why Logan was furious. Kendall was going back out with Jo, and Logan was pissed. I was just as upset, but I wasn't going to tell Logan that. I didn't want him to know that I'm in love with his ex. Logan would hate me forever if he knew the truth, and I didn't want that. It already seemed like Kendall hated me, and that was something I definitely didn't want.

"I don't get why he would go back to the slut" Logan said.

"Yeah" I said.

Logan turned to me. "Do you know why he would?"

"Maybe its because you're 'dating' me, and he is trying to make you jealous" I said.

"Well its working" Logan said.

"Just forget about it" I said.

"I cant forget about it, James. I still love him" Logan said.

"Well maybe you shouldn't" I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"Do you not want me to be with him?" Logan asked.

"Logan, I never said that" I said.

Logan sighed and sat down next to me. He covered his face with his hands. I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I was a little nervous. I didn't know why I was afraid to hug my friend. I've done it so many times before. I slowly reached out, and wrapped my arms around Logan. He looked up at me, then buried his face in my chest.

We both looked up when the front door of the apartment opened. Carlos walked in whistling happily, but stopped when he saw us. He looked at me, then went into our shared room. I knew he wanted to talk to me about something.

"I'll be right back" I whispered.

Logan nodded, and I stood up from the couch. I walked into the bedroom, and closed the door behind me.

"What's up?" I asked.

"James, why are you doing this?" Carlos asked.

"Doing what?" I asked.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Why are you dating Logan? I thought you loved Kendall"

"I do love him, but Logan needed me" I said.

"Do you love Logan?" Carlos asked.

"Not like that. We're only pretending to go out. Logan thinks if he is dating me, that Kendall will go back with him" I said.

"Wait, you're only fake dating Logan? Dude that's worse" Carlos said.

"How is that worse then the real thing?" I asked.

"James, you're being used, and someone is going to get hurt" Carlos said.

"Logan said nothing bad would happen" I said.

"Well Logan's an idiot. James, you have to end this before it gets worse" Carlos said.

"And how do I do that?" I asked.

"End things with Logan" Carlos said.

"Oh so he could run back to Kendall? I don't think so" I said.

"That's why you have to tell Kendall before he gets back with Logan. If he does anyway" Carlos said.

"Its not that easy." I said.

"You have to tell him, James. Just dump Logan, then tell Kendall how you feel" Carlos said.

"But I'm afraid he wont feel the same way. Its obvious he still loves Logan. I don't think I can tell him" I said.

"Yes you can, James. Do you really want Kendall and Logan to keep hurting each other?" Carlos asked.

I sighed. "No"

"Then fix it. James, I don't want you caught in the middle of this mess" Carlos said.

"Well I don't want to be caught in it either. I don't even know why I agreed to this whole thing. Its only making everything worse, and I'm pretty sure Kendall hates me" I said.

"What makes you think that?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know. He just seems to hate me, and it feels like he is glaring at me sometimes." I said.

"Well I don't blame him. You're dating his ex" Carlos said.

"Fake dating" I said.

"Yeah, but he doesn't know that" Carlos said.

"What do I do? I don't want him to hate me. I just want him to love me" I said.

"Then you need to tell him, James" Carlos said.

I nodded. "Ok"

"Don't worry. Everything is going to be fine" Carlos said.

"When do I tell him?" I asked.

"When he comes back. Just make sure Logan isn't there when you tell him" Carlos said.

"Ok" I said.

Carlos nodded, then pulled me into a hug. I started to feel a little better, but only just a little. After a few minutes, we pulled apart.

"You know, I've never seen you this serious before" I said.

"I have my moments." Carlos said.

"How come you are acting so serious now?" I asked.

"Do you want me to act like my usual self?" Carlos asked.

"It would make me feel better. At least I would know one person is looking at the positive side" I said.

"I'm still looking at the positive side, but I thought I should help out. I don't want my friends to hate each other" Carlos said.

"Don't worry buddy, I'll fix this" I said.

Carlos nodded. We went back into the living room, and I sat down next to Logan. He scooted closer to me, and I wrapped my arm around him. Carlos looked at me, then slowly shook his head. We spent a few hours relaxing and watching movies. I tried to focus on the film, but my mind was somewhere else.

I didn't know how I was going to tell Kendall. It seemed like he hated me, and I didn't even do anything. I was also nervous about telling Logan that I don't want to do this anymore. I was afraid he would hate me too.

We all looked up when Kendall entered the apartment. He walked over to us, and sat on the armrest of the couch.

"Hey Kendall," Carlos said. "Where were you?"

"On a date. With Jo" Kendall said.

I could feel Logan tense up in my arms. I was trying my best not to show that I was upset.

"How…..how was it?" I asked.

"It was great. We had an awesome time, and that kiss was amazing" Kendall said.

"You guys kissed?" Logan asked.

"Yup. Best kiss of my life" Kendall said.

Logan scoffed. "If you want the best kiss of your life, try kissing James. His kisses are mind blowing"

"Yeah right, but I did figure something out about myself today" Kendall said.

"That you're a prick?" Logan asked.

Kendall glared. "No, that I don't like brunettes. Blondes are much better"

"Give me a break. Blondes are the worst people you could date. Brunettes are a lot better" Logan said.

Carlos's eyes widened, and he looked at me. He obviously wanted me to fix this, but I didn't know how.

"Fine, since you love brunettes so much, then you can be with James" Kendall said.

"If you haven't already noticed, I am with James" Logan said.

"Good. I hope you're happy. Too bad he actually doesn't love you" Kendall said.

"He does love me. Jo is the one who doesn't love you. She is only using you." Logan said.

"She is not using me. She actually loves me" Kendall said.

Logan quickly stood up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Wow Logan. I thought you, the genius, would know what I'm talking about. Its obvious James couldn't give a flying fuck about you" Kendall said.

"Shut up Kendall. You're just mad because I have someone who loves me" Logan said.

"You know what Logan. I actually believed you loved me, but I was wrong. You were playing me the whole time we were together." Kendall said.

"Kendall I….."

"I don't want to hear it Logan" Kendall said.

Kendall went into his room, slamming the door hard behind him. Logan looked at me, then ran out of the apartment. I turned to Carlos, and he sighed.

I had no idea how I was going to fix this.

**A/N: Im sorry this chap was short, but i will try to make the next one longer. just to warn you, everything is going to get worse =(. what do guys think so far? what's your opinion? anyway i will try an update soon. i have another story that im working on. its a scary Kogan one, so if anyone is interested. you can check it out. bye for now =D.**

**p.s. i dont have anything against blondes or brunettes. im a brunette so yeah, but i dont hate blondes or anything ok =D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Logan's POV**

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take seeing Kendall run off with Jo every chance he got. He was with her all the time, and it didn't help when he would talk about her. I knew he was trying to make me jealous, and I wanted him to stop. But the only way he was going to stop was if I broke up with James, and I couldn't do that.

I've been pretending to be with James for a few weeks, and it seemed to be going pretty well. Too me it was anyway, but I could tell James didn't like it. He tried to act like he was in love with me, but you cant force love. I wanted to call off everything, but I wanted Kendall back. Or did I?

While 'dating' James, I couldn't help but start to fall for him. Every time Kendall would make me upset, James was there to make me feel better. He knew exactly what to do or say to cheer me up. And the best part about it was that it never seemed fake. It actually seemed like James cared about me, but maybe he only cared about me as a friend.

The more I spent with James, the more I started falling for him. But I couldn't like James like that. I was in love with Kendall and I wanted him back more then anything, but it seemed like he didn't want me back. I didn't know what to do. Do I keep fighting for Kendall? Or let my feelings for James grow. This was a big decision, and I didn't know who to choose.

I walked into the living room to see Kendall sitting on the couch. The tv was on, but he was busy playing with his phone. Probably texting Jo no doubt. I rolled my eyes and went into the kitchen. I really didn't want to be alone in the apartment with Kendall, but I guess I had no choice. At least I wouldn't be alone when James and Carlos return from the pool. I did sort of want to talk to Kendall about what went wrong, but I had a feeling he didn't want to talk to me.

I walked out of the kitchen and headed back to the bedroom. At least there I could be by myself and not in the same room with Kendall.

"f you're looking for your _boyfriend, _he's not here" Kendall said.

"Yeah I know" I said.

"Are you always going to be pissy towards me?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. Are you?" I asked.

Kendall sighed and put his phone down. "Can we not fight anymore?" he asked.

I walked over to the couch and sat down on the armrest. "I don't want to fight either"

"Then what do we do? I hate arguing with you. This is exactly what we did when we were together" Kendall said.

"I know, but I don't know how to stop it" I said.

"Wow" Kendall said.

"What?" I asked.

"That's the first time I've heard you say you don't know something" Kendall said.

"Well I don't know everything, but I wish I knew what went wrong with us" I said.

"Me too" Kendall said.

"Maybe we can….."

"No Logie, we cant go back to that"

"But why? Maybe we could try again and….."

"Logie, we cant. We need more time apart" Kendall said.

"But we've been apart for a while now, isn't that enough?" I asked.

"No"

"How come you don't want to give us another try? Is it because of….Jo?"

Kendall looked down at his lap and I stood up from the couch.

"You love her don't you?" I asked.

"Logie, I…."

"Do you or not!"

"Logan, you don't have to yell. And why do you care anyway? Its obvious you moved on too" Kendall said.

"I….you don't understand" I said.

"Then tell me Logan" Kendall said.

I shook my head and left the apartment. I really needed to talk to someone right now, and I knew exactly who that person was.

I found Camille sitting by the pool going over one of her scripts. I didn't want to bother her, but I needed someone to talk to. I walked up to her, and she smiled at me.

"Hey Logan" she said.

"Hey" I said.

"Are you ok? You look a little sad" Camille said.

"Its just…..I don't know what to do" I said.

"Wow. Logan Mitchell doesn't know what to do" Camille said.

"Camille, I'm being serious" I said.

"I'm sorry. What's going on?" she asked.

"Its about Kendall" I said.

"Is he still dating Jo?" Camille asked.

"Yeah, but it just got worse. I think he's in love with her" I said.

"No he's not. He loves you Logan" Camille said.

"He said he didn't want me back. How can he love me? He loves Jo" I said.

"Maybe he doesn't want you back, because you're dating James" Camille said.

"Maybe" I said.

"I think you should end things with James. You don't like him like that anyway, so what's the point of continuing this. Its just going to hurt a lot of people" Camille said.

"I think I do like him" I muttered.

"What?"

"I think I'm falling for him"

"Logan you cant. You're supposed to be in love with Kendall, not your best friend" Camille said.

"Why not? Kendall was my best friend" I said.

Camille sighed. "Logan you cant"

"But I cant help the way I feel. What do I do?" I asked.

"I don't know. Just see if you're really falling for him" Camille said.

"How?"

"You're the genius. You'll think of something" Camille said.

She stood up from the lounge chair, and went into the lobby. She was right. I needed to figure out if my feelings for James were real or not. I just needed to find out a way to know if I liked James that way.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

I tossed and turned in bed that night. No matter how hard I tried to fall asleep, I couldn't. My mind was on both Kendall and James, but mostly James. Did I really love him? Or was I just pretending? For once in my life I didn't know the answer. I used to pretend I liked him like that, but now I don't think I'm pretending anymore. I was pretty sure I liked James.

I quietly got out of bed, and left the apartment. I really needed to be in place where I could think. I walked through the lobby and went out to the pool. I sat down on one of the chairs, and stared at the water. The pool was actually relaxing when there was no one screaming and splashing water on you. I liked the quiet atmosphere.

I had no idea what I was doing. I thought for sure nothing bad would happen when I decided to fake date James, but I was wrong. I thought if I was with someone else, that Kendall would come back to me, but he didn't. Instead, he ran back to his ex girlfriend. That was not my plan at all.

"You ok?"

I looked up to see James standing next to me.

"I'm fine" I said.

James frowned and sat in the chair next to me, our knees slightly touching.

"What's wrong Logan?" he asked.

"Nothing" I said.

"I think I know when my best friend is upset" James said.

"Is that all you think of me as?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Pretend I didn't say anything" I said.

"But I'm tired of pretending" James said.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't like pretending that we're dating" James said.

"I don't either" I said.

"Really? Then why….."

I didn't let him finish because I quickly pressed my lips to his. James fell back on the chair and I crawled on top of him. I pulled away after a few seconds, and looked at him. His eyes were wide with surprise.

"L-Logan? What was that?" James whispered.

I quickly crawled off of him and sat back down in my own chair.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"Why did you do that? I thought you wanted Kendall back?" James asked.

"I don't know what I want anymore" I said.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"I…..I think I like you, James" I said.

"But you love Kendall, don't you?" James asked.

"I don't know. I do, but then I have these feelings for you" I said.

"Logan, we cant" James said.

"Why not? Its not like its hurting anybody. Besides, Kendall loves Jo anyway" I said.

"He does?" James asked.

I nodded. "He told me today"

"Oh" James said.

"I'm sorry about the kiss. If you want to fake dump me, then go ahead" I said.

"No" James said.

"Wha…."

Before I could say anything, James lips were on mine. I was confused at first and didn't kiss back, but I finally gave in. James lowered me down on my back, and I ran my fingers through his hair. James quickly pulled away and looked at me.

"You touched my hair" he whispered.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like it when people do that" I said.

"No its ok. I don't mind" James said.

I smiled and ran my fingers through his brown locks. James connected our lips, then his hand ran down my body.

I gasped. "James, not here"

"Why?" he asked.

I pushed him off of me, and stood up from the chair. I grabbed his hand and dragged him towards one of the cabanas. I attacked James lips again, and he held onto my waist. He pushed me down on the lounge chair in the cabana, then climbed on top of me. James tugged on my shirt, and I sat up to remove it. James took his shirt off and threw it next to mine.

"Wow" I whispered.

"What? You've seen me shirtless before" James said.

"Not this close" I said.

James chuckled, then kissed me again. I grabbed the waistband of James pajamas bottoms, and I slid them off. James rid me of my clothes, and I blushed furiously.

"Don't be embarrassed. You look good" James said.

That made me blush even more. I grabbed the hem of his boxers, then pulled them off. My eyes widened at how huge James was. I couldn't help but lick my lips. James noticed my staring, and he pulled me into another kiss. I moaned when James nibbled on my bottom lip. I parted my lips, allowing James to slip his tongue in.

James pulled away, then brought his fingers up to my lips. I took his fingers in my mouth, and sucked on them. James pulled his fingers out, then lowered them down to my entrance. I winced when he pushed his fingers inside of me. After a while, I couldn't help but thrust down on his digits.

"Ok I'm ready" I said.

James pulled his fingers out, then covered his erection with saliva.

"Just relax" he whispered.

I nodded. James slowly pushed in and I hissed in pain. James let me adjust, then he started to move. It started off slow, but he picked up the pace when I told him to.

"Oh god James! Yes! H-hit it again" I said when James hit the spot that made me see stars.

James pulled out, then slammed back in, hitting that spot every time. I arched my back when he would thrust into me hard. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, and whimpered in pleasure. I held onto him tightly, and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"J-James…..I'm so c-close" I warned.

James grabbed my cock and pumped it in time with his thrusts. I let out a moan of pleasure, then screamed James's name as I came all over him. It didn't take long before James released inside of me. James pulled out, and collapsed on top of me. I stroked his cheek and gave him a small kiss.

"I love you" I whispered.

I closed my eyes, and fell into a deep sleep.

**A/N: Hi evertbody! anyway how was this chap? ok, good, bad or just plain awful? i aslo want to know what you think of Logan. i kinda think he is being stupid, but i guess thats my fault, but what do you guys think? i will update as soon as i can. just to let you know a lot more drama is on its way. bye for now =D**


	12. Chapter 12

**James POV**

"You did what!"

"Shh keep it down. Someone could hear you"

"James, how could you do that? You told me you loved Kendall" Carlos said.

"I do ok, but when Logan said that Kendall loved Jo, I lost it and did something stupid" I said.

"So you slept with Logan?" Carlos asked.

I walked over to our bedroom door, and went to close it.

"You don't have to close it. No one's home" Carlos said.

"Kendall's gone?" I asked.

"He went to the park with Jo, and Mrs. Knight and Katie went shopping" Carlos said.

"Ok, but Logan's still here. I don't want him to know we're talking about him" I said.

"He's asleep though, so he cant hear us" Carlos said.

I sighed and walked back to my bed. Carlos sat down next to me and turned to me.

"James, can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Yeah sure" I said.

"You said Logan told you he loved you, right?"

"Yeah"

"So, do you love him?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know. I didn't sleep with him because he said he loved me" I said.

"Then why did you?" Carlos asked.

"Because I was upset about Kendall and Jo. I don't really like Logan that way. I feel so bad for what I did" I said.

"James, I told you to end this, but you didn't and now everything just got worse" Carlos said.

"I know, I know. But I don't know what to do" I said.

"Tell Logan that you don't really love him" Carlos said.

"And break his heart? I cant do that" I said.

"But James, you're still hurting him. He thinks you have feelings for him" Carlos said.

"But I don't. I fucked up big time" I said.

"James, you can still fix this" Carlos said.

"How Carlos? Tell me how" I said.

Carlos sighed. "I….I don't know"

"Maybe I should just love him back" I said.

"But what about Kendall?" Carlos asked.

"I don't think Kendall will want anything to do with me once he finds out I fucked his ex" I said.

"Well maybe he doesn't need to know" Carlos said.

"Are you serious? He needs to know" I said.

"No he doesn't. If he finds out about this, everything will get worse" Carlos said.

"But everything just got worse" I said.

"Not really. The worst hasn't happened yet. Kendall is never going to find out about this ok" Carlos said.

"What if he finds out?" I asked.

"He isn't going to find out. Just act like nothing ever happened" Carlos said.

I sighed. "Fine"

"Its ok James. Everything is going to be fine" Carlos said.

"I hope you're right" I said.

"Me too" Carlos whispered.

I stood up from the bed and went into the living room, Carlos right behind me. I was hoping a few hours of violent video games would cheer me up. When I entered the living room, I was surprised to see Kendall sitting on the couch. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked really pissed off.

"Hey man. You ok?" I asked.

"Do I look ok?" Kendall asked.

"Not really. Are you having girl problems?" I asked.

"That and something else" Kendall said.

"I'm sorry. What is it?" I asked.

"Don't you already know, James?" Kendall asked.

"Um not really" I said.

"Huh funny, I though you would've" Kendall said.

"Kendall, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about" Kendall said.

"Kendall, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. What exactly did I do to you?" I asked.

Kendall stood up from the couch, and got right in my face. Being this close to Kendall probably would have made me happy and giddy, but now I was terrified.

"You wanna know what you did? You fucked Logan!" Kendall yelled.

"I…..I didn't…"

"Don't deny it, James. I heard what you told Carlos" Kendall said.

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked.

"Enough to know that were screwing around with my ex. Friends don't do that to each other. I never screwed any of your girlfriends, so why the fuck would you screw Logan? I thought you were my friend" Kendall said.

"I am" I said.

Kendall shook his head. "If you really were my friend, you wouldn't have stolen Logan from me"

"Did you ever think that maybe Logan doesn't want you?" I asked.

"How do you know? Its obvious he wants me back, and I want him" Kendall said.

"Then if you want him so bad, why did you say you loved Jo?" I asked.

"Because…..because…."

"Because you would rather be with her then Logan" I said.

"That's a lie. I love Logan, but how can I go back with him if I know my 'best friend' was fucking him behind my back?" Kendall asked.

"I'm really sorry, Kendall. I didn't mean for this to happen" I said.

"Just save it, James. Your apology means nothing to me. Just like our friendship" Kendall said.

"But….."

Kendall shook his head, then left the apartment. I winced when I heard the door slam hard.

"James?"

I turned around to see Logan standing by the hallway. He looked scared and worried.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Its nothing, Logan" I said.

Logan slowly made his way towards me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I hesitated for a minute, then I wrapped my arms around him.

"Its ok James" Logan said.

I nodded. I wanted everything to be ok, but it wasn't. I just lost my best friend and the person I loved. How could everything be ok? I was just hoping nothing got any worse.

**A/N: Ok sorry this chap was short, but i will try and make the next one longer. just to let you know, this will all return to Kogan, but not yet. there is still a lot more surprises on the way. well bye for now =D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Logan's POV**

Its been about a month, and James and I were still together. It still seemed like we were faking, but I wanted it to be real. I was pretty sure I was in love with James. No I was sure I loved him. He was there for me when my heart was shattered by Kendall. James was the one who was picking up the pieces, and making me feel loved again.

I didn't know if James had the same feelings towards me. He wouldnt kiss me anymore, and he barely held my hand or hugged me. I thought maybe he didn't love me back, but maybe there was another reason.

Kendall and James did argue about something. I only heard bits and pieces, but I knew it was about James and I. Kendall was obviously upset that I slept with James, but he shouldn't be mad at James. If Kendall wanted to say something, then he can say it to me.

But Kendall never did, because we stopped talking.

Kendall started ignoring both James and I. He never talked to us anymore, or hung out with us. He would still talk to Carlos, but never talked to me and James.

I tried not to let it get to me, but it was hard. I still loved Kendall, but then there was James. Kendall may have been my first love, but he was also the first one who broke my heart this badly. James didn't do anything in anyway to hurt me. It seemed like he cared about me, but he never said he loved me back. I was hoping that he was just nervous to say it, and that he will tell me how he feels eventually. I just hope that time is soon.

I woke up when my phone started vibrating. I felt blindly for my phone on the nightstand. I picked it up and saw that I had a text from Kelly. She said that Gustavo wanted us at the studio in half an hour. I groaned and replied to the text.

I honestly didn't want to go to the studio today. I had a slight headache and I felt a little sick to my stomach. I sat up in bed and stretched. I slowly got out of bed, but the minute I stood, I felt a little dizzy. I held onto the nightstand for support. After a few seconds, the dizziness was gone, but was replaced with nausea. I cupped my mouth and ran to the bathroom. I kneeled in front of the toilet, and emptied my stomach. This lasted for a few minutes, then I felt a little better.

I stood up and flushed the toilet, then walked over to the sink. I splashed cold water on my face, then brushed my teeth. I walked into the kitchen to get breakfast, but I didn't feel that hungry. I knew I needed to eat something before I left. I didn't want Gustavo yelling at me if i passed out.

I served myself a bowl of cereal, then sat down on one of the stools. I took a few bites, and nothing happened, so I kept eating.

"Hey Logan" James said as he entered the kitchen.

"H-hey" I stuttered.

"You ok?" James asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine" I said.

James nodded and got himself breakfast. He sat down next to me, and I couldn't help but shiver when we slightly touched. We ate our breakfast quietly, and everything seemed to be going fine. That is until I felt my breakfast making its way back up. I pushed the bowl away from me, and ran into the kitchen-bathroom. I leaned over the toilet, and let my breakfast fall into it. I could feel someone rubbing small circles on my back, and I knew it was James. Once I was finished, I rested against the bathtub.

"You ok?" James asked.

"Yeah" I said.

"What happened?" James asked.

"I don't know. I just felt nauseous. Its probably the flu" I said.

"Maybe you shouldn't go in today" James said.

"James, I have to. I don't want Gustavo to get mad. I promise I'm fine" I said.

James nodded, but didn't look convinced. He helped me up to my feet, and led me over to the couch. I laid down and James covered me with a blanket.

"James, I'm fine" I said.

"Just rest for a minute ok. I'm going to wake Carlos" James said.

"No need" I said.

James turned around to see a sleepy Carlos walk into the living room.

"What's going on? I heard someone blowing chunks" Carlos said.

"Its nothing, Carlos. Can you wake Kendall up?" James asked.

Carlos nodded and went to wake Kendall. James rubbed my forehead for a few minutes, then he went to get ready. Carlos and a sleepy Kendall entered the living room, then went into the kitchen. I got up from the couch and went to get ready for the day. I took a quick shower, then got dressed. While I was brushing my teeth for the second time, I felt a sharp pain run through my lower abdomen. I thought it was a little weird, but I brushed it off.

I walked back into the living room and waited for everyone else to get ready. When we were in the elevator, the pain came back. I winced and grabbed my stomach.

"Are you ok?" James whispered.

I nodded. "Yeah"

James gave me a look that clearly said he didn't believe me, so I turned away. I was glad when we finally arrived at Rocque Records. I was hoping that singing and dancing would get my mind off other things. Gustavo yelled at us for being late, and he said something about him having more important things to do then wait on us. I ignored Gustavo and got to work.

We went into the sound booth, and I started to feel sick again. I tried to ignore it and just focus on singing, but it was hard. Every time I opened my mouth, I could feel whatever was in my stomach start to come back up. Another pain hit, causing me to double over and let out a cry. My friends turned to me with worried expressions on their faces

"Logan," Kelly said over the microphone. "Are you alright?"

I tried to answer her, but I still had that feeling in my throat. I cupped my mouth and ran out of the sound booth. I barely made it to the bathroom before I spewed everywhere. I heaved for about ten minutes, then stopped.

"Shh its ok" James said as he rubbed my back.

"Why does this keep happening?" I asked.

"I don't know, but I think you should see a doctor" James said.

"No I'm fine" I said.

"You're so stubborn sometimes" James said.

"Yeah I know, but that's why you love me" I said.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"C'mon, I'll carry you to the couch" James said.

"James, I'm still capable of walking. I can get there myself" I said.

"Ok suit yourself" James said.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. I immediately held onto James when a wave of dizziness washed over me. James picked me up and carried me to one of the couches. He laid me down and I felt a little better. I winced when I felt another cramp hit, and I grabbed James's arm. He kneeled down beside me and rubbed my forehead soothingly. I whimpered when I felt another pain hit my stomach.

"Shh Logan, its ok" James said.

"James," Carlos said as he entered the lounge. "Gustavo wants you back"

"But what about Logan?" James asked.

Carlos shrugged. "Gustavo said he would rather have three dogs then none. We have to get back to work"

"But…"

"I'll be fine, James. Don't worry about me. Just go finish recording" I said.

James sighed, then followed Carlos back to the studio. I started to feel sick again, so I took deep breaths to relax me. Another pain hit and I let out a groan. I rolled over onto my other side, and closed my eyes. I clutched my stomach and whimpered. I felt someone gently rubbing my back.

"James, I told you I was fine" I said.

"Are you sure?"

I rolled over and saw Kendall kneeling down beside me.

"What are you doing? I thought you were recording?" I asked.

"I am, but I wanted to make sure you were ok. You scared me back there, Logan" Kendall said.

"Oh, well I'm fine. So you can leave" I said.

Kendall frowned. "You don't have to be so hateful towards me. I just wanted to make sure you were ok"

"I'm fine ok, Kendall. I just really want to rest" I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok"

I winced and grabbed Kendall's arm when another cramp hit. Kendall started to rub my forehead, and it made me feel a little better. But only just a little.

"Oh god it hurts" I said as I buried my face into one of the couch pillows.

"Just relax, Logie" Kendall said.

I grabbed Kendall's hand and squeezed it, trying to outweigh the pain. I sat up quickly when I felt that familiar tingling in my throat.

"Logie?" Kendall asked.

I couldn't answer him, so I tried motioning for him to bring me a trashcan. Kendall understood what I was saying, and went to get me one. He came back and handed me the trashcan, but I missed. I ended up spewing all over Kendall's shirt. Kendall had a disgusted look on his face as he looked down at his now ruined shirt.

"Sorry" I whispered.

"Its uh….fine. Don't worry about it" Kendall said.

I nodded and laid back down. Kendall placed the trashcan next to the couch, then went to the bathroom. I felt absolutely stupid and embarrassed for throwing up on Kendall. How the hell did I miss the freakin trashcan? I tried to just forget about it, and just hope Kendall forgives me. I hope he forgives me for a lot of things.

I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes, falling into a deep sleep.

**A/N: HI. sorry i didnt post this sooner. fanfiction was being weird, but its working now. i didnt really like this chap, but i hope you guys did. i will update whenver i have my next chap ready. bye for now =D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Kendall's POV**

After rehearsals with Gustavo, we all went back to our apartment. The minute we stepped into 2J, Logan ran to the bathroom. Soon the sound of vomiting could be heard throughout the whole place.

I tried to figure out what was wrong with Logan, but I didn't have a clue. I figured he picked up the stomach bug from someone, and he was suffering from that. I wanted to be there for him, but I should just leave that up to his boyfriend. James can take care and be there for Logan. I have more important things to do anyway.

The sound of vomiting died down, and Logan staggered out of the bathroom. James was quickly at his side, and led Logan over to the couch.

"How are you feeling?" James asked.

"Better I guess" Logan said.

"Just relax and take it easy" James said.

Logan nodded. "Ok"

I rolled my eyes and went into my bedroom. I really needed to take a shower. Not only was I covered in sweat, but also Logan's puke. I tried cleaning it off at Rocque Records, but that didn't work. I didn't think Logan would throw up on me, but he did. I took a quick shower, then got dressed. My phone beeped on the nightstand, and I walked over to it. I got a text from Jo, telling me to meet her in the lobby. I quickly replied, then went back into the living room.

"Where are you going?" Carlos asked.

"With Jo" I said.

James rolled his eyes, then turned to Logan. I had no idea why James was so pissed at me. I didn't do anything to him. He was the one who stole Logan from me, then screwed him later. But why was James mad that I was going to meet Jo? It seemed like he wanted me back with Logan, but that didn't make sense. When I was with Logan, James still acted upset. I didn't know what was wrong with him.

I left the apartment and went down to meet Jo. We spent the whole day at the park, just enjoying each others company. I actually forgot about everything, and just had fun. Everything that happened today, and for the past month just disappeared. It felt like I had no worries, and I loved that feeling. I was finally able to relax and get away from all the drama that was in my apartment.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

A week later, I had another date with Jo. We were going out to dinner, so I was pretty excited. I could finally get away from this hectic place for a few hours.

It was the same thing everyday. James continued to ignore me, and I would ignore him. I didn't want to deal with him. He was the one who betrayed me, so why should I talk to him or even be his friend? It was just a waste of my time.

Logan seemed like he wasn't getting better. He kept throwing up, complaining about headaches and stomach pains. He even fainted a few times. I tried to comfort him sometimes, but I didn't want Logan getting the wrong idea. I still wanted to be Logan's friend, but I wasn't sure if I wanted him back. I said I did, but now I was having second thoughts. I didn't want us to get back together, and then everything was how it was before. I didnt really want to go back to that.

After I got ready for my date, I went into the living room. I was surprised to see both Carlos and James were gone. I figured they went down to the pool to relax. Wow was James a great boyfriend or what. He just left a very sick Logan to go play in the stupid pool, he was great boyfriend material.

I saw Logan sleeping peacefully on the couch. He was curled up and covered with a blanket. I didn't know how he could be cold, it was really hot in here. I watched him for a minute, then headed towards the front door. I opened the door, but stopped.

"Kendall?"

I turned around to see Logan sitting up. He was rubbing his eyes and he let out a small yawn.

"Just go back to sleep, Logan. I'll be back later" I said.

"Where's James?" Logan asked.

"He's down by the pool. Do you want me to call Carlos, so he can tell James?" I asked.

"No I'll be fine" Logan said.

I nodded, but I didn't believe him. Logan didn't look fine at all. He was paler then usual, he threw up everyday, and he just wasn't himself. I almost felt like staying with him, but I couldn't do that. I had plans with Jo tonight, and I wasn't going to bail on her.

Logan let out a groan and fell back on the couch. He wrapped his arms tightly around his stomach, and tossed and turned. Logan buried his face into the pillow, and whimpered.

I felt so bad for him. He was in so much pain, but there was nothing we could do. He refused to go to the hospital, because he was fine. I didn't believe him one bit.

I sighed and closed the door to the apartment. I walked over to the orange couch, and sat down next to Logan. He opened his eyes, and gave me a confused look.

"You're not leaving?" he asked.

"No. I don't want to leave you here alone" I said.

"Kendall, I'll be fine. Just go out and enjoy your night with Jo" Logan said.

"How did you know that I was going out with her?" I asked.

"Because you're always with her" Logan said.

I couldn't help but frown at Logan's tone. He sounded sad, and it was all my fault. I was the one who broke his heart. Everything was my fault.

"I'm sorry Logan, but I'll hang out with you tonight. I don't want to leave you alone when you're suffering" I said.

"Thanks Kendall, but you don't have to" Logan said.

"But I want to" I said.

Logan gave me a small smile, then wrapped me in a hug. I was a little startled at first. I haven't hugged Logan in what seemed like forever. When we broke up, we drifted apart. I relaxed, then hugged him back. We held onto each other for a few minutes, then we pulled apart.

Logan laid back down, and rested his head in my lap. I rubbed his forehead, then started to play with his hair. His hair was so soft, and I loved running my fingers through it. I pulled out my cell phone and texted Jo. I said I wouldn't be able to make it tonight because I was feeling that good. I couldn't tell her the truth because she would have a bitch fit if she knew I was spending the evening with Logan.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked.

"Sure" Logan said.

"I'll make popcorn" I said.

"No," Logan groaned. "I don't want to spew on you again"

I chuckled. "Logan, that was one time, and I don't think it will happen again."

"Yeah, but I'm not that hungry anyway. I still feel really nauseous." Logan said.

"I'll get you some ginger ale" I said.

Logan nodded, and I stood up from the couch. I went into the kitchen and poured Logan a glass of ginger ale. I went back into the living room, and handed it to him. Logan smiled, then took the drink. He took a few sips, then set it down on the coffee table. I sat back down on the couch, and Logan rested his head in my lap again.

For the rest of the evening, we watched movies and relaxed. By our second movie, Logan was passed out. I looked down at his sleeping form and smiled. I gently stroked his cheek, then played with his hair. Without thinking, I leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek. Logan stirred in his sleep, and I quickly pulled away.

I had no idea why I just did that. Logan wasn't mine anymore, so I shouldn't have kissed him. It wasn't a romantic kiss, but it was still a kiss. I rested my head back against the couch, and listened to Logan's soft breathing.

Maybe it really was a mistake to break up with Logan.

**A/N: So i decided to post another chapter now. i dont really know what to think about this chap. kendall is just confused i guess. idk. anyway heres another chapter and i hope it wasnt boring. bye for now =D**


	15. Chapter 15

**James POV**

I sat on the couch, and rubbed Logan's back soothingly. He was still really sick, and I didn't know why. I've told him multiple time to go see a doctor, but Logan's stubborn, so he didn't go. I tried my best to comfort him, but there was only so much I could do.

Kendall was in his room getting ready to go see Jo again. I still couldn't stand him, but I still loved him. I knew he was only going out with Jo to hurt Logan, but he was also hurting me. I've thought about telling Kendall that I have feelings for him, but I was scared.

I didn't know why I was so afraid of rejection. I've never been rejected in my life, but I was afraid Kendall would be the first person to reject me.

"Hey, do you want to go down to the pool?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know. Logan is really sick and I don't want to leave him alone" I said.

"James, he's asleep, and he'll probably still be asleep when we get back. We will just be gone for a few hours" Carlos said.

"Well I guess leaving him alone for a few hours wont be so bad" I said.

"I promise he will be fine. Now go change" Carlos said.

I carefully stood up, trying my best not to wake Logan, then went to my room. I changed into my swimwear, then went back out to meet Carlos. We left the apartment and went down to the pool.

We took our usual seats, and I closed my eyes. It felt good to just sit back and relax. I haven't been able to relax in a while, so it felt good that I actually could now.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah Carlos?"

"Have you figured out how you're gonna tell Logan?" Carlos asked.

"Tell him what?" I asked.

"That you don't love him"

"Oh um, I don't know yet"

"Don't tell me you're falling for him" Carlos said.

"I don't know" I said.

"James!"

"Look I don't know ok. I'm just a little…..confused"

"How can you be confused? You said you love Kendall and not Logan. What's so confusing about that?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know. I'm really afraid of Kendall rejecting me, but I know Logan wont do that because he actually loves me" I said.

"James, I'm trying my best to get you and Kendall together. Please don't let Logan get in the way" Carlos said.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because I've seen how miserable you've been, and I don't like it. I'm just trying to make my best friend happy" Carlos said.

"But I'm not happy. You think I would be now that I'm living my dream, but I'm not. I'm still missing something important, and its Kendall" I said.

"James, I promise you two will get together. Just talk to Kendall and tell him what's going on. He really needs to know that you love him." Carlos said.

"I know, but its hard to find the right opportunity. He's always with Jo" I said.

"Just get him alone and tell him" Carlos said.

"And how do I do that? He wont even talk to me" I said.

"Then try and fix it" Carlos said.

"Carlos, you're asking so much of me, and I don't think I can do it" I said.

"Yes you can. You're James Diamond. You can do anything" Carlos said.

"Yeah I guess" I said.

"There is no I guess. You can, James" Carlos said.

"Thanks"

"No problem"

"Can we talk about something else now?" I asked.

"Sure. Like what?" Carlos asked.

"Anything" I said.

"Ok. Do you know why Logan is so sick? He never gets this sick"

"I have no idea"

BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTRBTR***BTR

Carlos and I spent the rest of the evening at the pool, and I actually enjoyed myself. All the drama that has been going on, just disappeared. We talked about everything, except about Kendall and Logan. I didn't really want to talk about them. They were the reason all this drama happened.

After spending a few hours at the pool, we decided to go back up to our apartment. I was hoping Kendall was still with Jo, and that Logan was still asleep. I didn't really want to deal with them at the moment. We got to our apartment, and I opened the door. I was surprised to see Kendall already home, but what really surprised me was that Logan and Kendall were cuddled on the couch. Logan had his head resting in Kendall's lap, and Kendall was running his fingers through Logan's hair.

"What the fuck!" I said.

Logan woke up and Kendall immediately looked at me. Logan sat up quickly, and I could see the worried expression on his face.

"James, I can explain" Logan said.

I shook my head, then went to my bedroom. I slammed the door as hard as I could, then I collapsed on my bed. I was so angry right now. How could they do that? Kendall said he didn't want Logan back. So why were they cuddled on the couch? I was actually thinking about telling Kendall my feelings for him, but I didn't want to now. He was back with Logan. I just knew it.

There was a knock on the door, then it opened. I really should've locked it in the first place.

"James?"

"Go away Logan"

Logan closed the door, then walked over to me. He sat down on the bed, and placed his hand on my back. I shrugged him off and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, James. I swear none of that meant anything. Kendall was just trying to make me feel better. Nothing happened between us" Logan said.

"Logan, I'm not in the mood, so please leave me alone" I said.

"I'm not leaving you, James. I love you" Logan said.

"You don't mean that"

"Yes I do"

I sighed and sat up. "Logan, you cant possibly love me. You still have feelings for Kendall and…."

"But I don't want him. I want you" Logan said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you've been there and cared for me. You're the only one that made me feel loved again" Logan said.

"Logan I…"

"Please James, I want to be with you. I love you so much. Don't you love me?" Logan asked.

"That's just it. I….…..I don't know" I said.

"You don't know? Then why did you kiss and have sex with me?" Logan asked.

"Because I was upset ok. I didn't mean to do that and give you the wrong idea" I said.

"Oh"

"I'm so sorry"

"No its ok. I probably came on a little too strong" Logan said.

"No you didn't. I just took advantage of you when I shouldn't have" I said.

Logan reached out and stroked my cheek. "Its fine, James. I forgive you"

"You do?" I asked.

Logan nodded, then leaned in. I knew exactly what he was doing, and I tried to back away, but he was faster. He placed his hand behind my head, and brought me forward. Our lips met, and I tried to pull away. Logan pushed me down on the bed and attacked my neck.

"I love you so much, James. Please give me another chance" Logan said.

"I cant Logan. I love someone else" I said.

"Then…..forget…..about…..them" Logan said in between kisses.

"I-I cant" I said.

Logan pulled away from my neck. "I'll make you forget"

"Logan….."

He ignored me and started tugging on my swim trunks. I tried to stop him, but he pushed my hands away.

"Logan, please don't" I said.

"I want to, James. I love you so much" Logan said.

"Logan, you don't love me, so just stop" I said.

Logan ignored me again, and attacked my lips. I finally had enough of this. I pushed Logan off of me, and he fell backwards.

"James, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Just stop, Logan. I don't love you ok, so just stop it" I said.

"But I do love you, James. I gave myself to you. That has to mean something to you, right?" Logan asked.

"I…..I don't love you, Logan. I never did" I said.

Logan let out a shaky breath and I could see the tears in his eyes.

"You didn't?" he asked.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"Don't be. I'm used to not having people love me back" Logan said.

"But Logan, people do love you. I just don't have feelings for you" I said.

"I'm so stupid for thinking you did. I thought maybe if I slept with you, that you would love me, but you didn't." Logan said.

"Logan"

"Just forget about it. I'll leave you alone" Logan said.

Logan stood up from the bed, then left the room. I could hear Kendall and Carlos ask Logan what happened, then I heard a door slam. I fell back on my bed, and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't believe I just did that. I was used to telling other people that I wasnt interested in them, but not my best friend. I never meant to hurt Logan, but I did, and I hate myself for that.

I really did fuck up big time.

**A/N:So i decided to post my next chapter. i feel so bad for Logan =( stupid James. even if i made him do that. anyway i hope you guys liked this chap and that you all had a great fourth of july. bye for now =D**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So this is the chap that explains why Logan's so sick. i also mentioned it in the summary if u already didnt notice hehe =D. anyway yeah so please no one hate me or say something mean about it. i know its not possible, but its just a story. so anyway here is a new chap.**

**Logan's POV**

"Logan? Logan, what's wrong?"

I ignored Kendall and left the apartment. I ran to the elevator and jumped inside. I pressed the very top button, and waited for the elevator to stop. I could feel my eyes burning, but I wasn't going to let the tears fall. I was stronger then that.

The elevator doors opened, and I got out. I climbed up the stairs, then opened the door at the top. I ran out onto the roof, and I fell to my knees. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and I let them fall. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed.

I couldn't believe it. James didn't love me, even when I loved him. I gave him everything, but it wasn't good enough. He loved someone else. I felt so stupid for believing James had the same feelings. He acted like he did, but he really didn't. He just cared about me as a friend, nothing else.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I loved James, and I didn't know how I was going to get over him. Why did he have to love someone else? Why couldn't he have loved me?

I was curious on who the other person was. At first I thought it was Carlos, but it couldn't be him. Carlos still flirts with the Jennifer's all the time, so it couldn't be him. Maybe James loved the new girl, but he never seemed to make a move.

I was confused. Who did James love? I wanted to know the answer. Actually, there was a lot of things I wanted the answer to. How come James doesn't love me back? Why did Kendall and I have to break up? Does Kendall still have feelings for me? Do I still have feelings for him?

I didn't know the answer to any of those questions, and I'm the genius of the group. Probably a lot of these questions will never be answered.

I didn't know how I was going to move on, but I have to try. I cant keep loving someone when they don't even love me. Its just a waste of time. Maybe somehow, Kendall and I could get back together. But if he really does love Jo, I don't have a chance. I could just stay single for a while. I need to focus on myself anyway.

I stood up and dusted my pants off. I felt my stomach start to act up again, so I ran over to the edge of the roof. I leaned over the edge, and emptied my stomach. It was nothing but liquids, but it was still gross. I heaved for ten minutes, then stopped. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and took a few deep breaths.

There was another question I needed answered. Why was I so sick? I didn't even know the answer to that.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

A few weeks later, I found myself still miserable. Not only from James, but because I was still sick. I kept throwing up, and my stomach still hurt. The cramps were the worst things I've ever felt. I couldn't even go a day without feeling sick.

I thought about going to see a doctor, but I was a little scared. I was afraid they would tell me that I was dying from a strange disease or something. I went through every medical book I owned, and I found nothing. The only thing that my symptoms was similar to was pregnancy. When I read that, I closed the book. I wasn't pregnant. There was just no way.

I was laying down on the couch, going through another medical book. I needed to figure out what was wrong with me. I groaned when those stupid stomach cramps came back. It felt like my stomach muscles were contracting, and it hurt like hell.

"You really need to go see a doctor" Kendall said as he entered the living room.

"No I'm…ah! f-fine" I said.

"Logan, you and I both know that you need to see a doctor. So just stop being stubborn, and go" Kendall said.

"Can you go with me?" I asked.

Kendall sighed. "I have plans with Jo. I'm sorry, Logan"

"Its fine" I said.

"What about James or Carlos?" Kendall said.

"Nah. Besides, they left already. I'll just go by myself" I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok. I'll see you later. I hope everything is ok"

"Me too" I said.

Kendall left the apartment, and I sighed. I guess I still had feelings for Kendall, but I also had some for James. I needed to get over both of them, because they didn't want me. It seemed like Kendall wanted me back, but then it didn't. I think all of us were confused about what we wanted.

I put my book down on the coffee table, then I stood up from the couch. I grabbed my keys and headed for the front door. I doubled over when another cramp hit. I really needed to get checked out.

I was scared about going alone, so I decided to ask Camille to come with me. I went down to the lobby, and found her cuddled up with Steve on the couches. I didn't want to interrupt them, but right now I needed to talk to Camille.

"Camille?" I asked.

"Hey Logan. What's up?" she asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked.

Camille looked at Steve, then back at me. "I'm sorry, Logan, but Steve and I are really busy"

"Oh ok" I said.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"Don't worry about it" I said.

I walked out of the Palm Woods, and climbed into my car. I guess I would be going alone after all.

I sat quietly in the hospital room as I waited for the doctor to come in. I was a little nervous, but I tried to calm down. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I was fine. I had to be. There was a knock on the door, then the doctor appeared. He looked to be in his forties and he had brown hair.

"Hello Logan. I'm Dr. Williams" he said.

"Hi" I said.

"So what seems to be the problem?" he asked.

"Um I've been throwing up a lot lately, having bad stomach pains, and I've fainted a few times" I said.

"Hmm," Dr. Williams said as he wrote everything down. "Anything else?"

"No not really" I said.

"Alright. I will do my best to see what's wrong with you" he said.

"Ok. Um I thought it might be the flu or something" I said.

"It does sound like it, but I want to run a few tests" he said.

I nodded. "Ok"

I waited nervously for the doctor to return. I've been here for about two hours, and I was starting to get nervous. I was hoping whatever I had wasn't too serious. I felt like texting Kendall, but I didn't want to bother him. I looked down at my lap and fiddled with my hands nervously. The door opened and the doctor walked in. He was looking at my chart with a confused look on his face. This cant be good.

"Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Mr. Mitchell, we ran your tests, and it seems you're pregnant" the doctor said.

"P-pregnant?" I asked.

"I know this is shocking, but…"

"How am I pregnant? I'm a guy. Guys don't get pregnant!" I said.

"Well you can. You have this condition that allows you to have children. Its really rare, and I've only dealt with it twice. You're my third" Dr. Williams said.

"But…I cant be" I said.

"Take a look for yourself" the doctor said.

He handed me my chart, and I looked it over. He wasn't kidding. I really was pregnant.

"There has to be a mistake" I said.

"Its not Mr. Mitchell. We ran your tests three different times, and the results all came back the same" he said.

"No, no, no. I cant be pregnant. I just cant be" I said.

"Mr. Mitchell, I can perform an ultrasound if you don't believe me" the doctor said.

I nodded. "Ok"

I followed the doctor to a new room, and I laid down on the bed. The doctor switched the machine on, and I lifted up my shirt. He squeezed blue gel on my stomach, and I flinched from the coolness. The doctor pressed a tiny remote to my stomach, and I looked at the screen. I didn't see anything, so I was still skeptical about all of this.

"There is your baby" the doctor said.

I turned back to the screen, and I saw a sack like thing.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Mhm. You're around two months"

"Oh my god" I whispered.

The doctor wiped off my stomach, then turned the machine off.

"Ok you're all set. Do you have any questions?" he asked.

I shook my head. "N-no"

"Alright. I would like you to come back in a few weeks. Male pregnancy is very dangerous, and I need to know how you and the baby are doing." the doctor said.

"Ok. Thank you" I said.

The doctor nodded, then left the room. I sat up and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't believe I was pregnant. I was too young to have a baby, yet here I am already two months along. I didn't know what I was going to do. How was I going to tell everyone? How was I going to tell James?

What was James going to think? I knew for a fact that he wasn't ready to be a father. He didn't even love me, so how was he going to love this baby? I was scared to tell him, but I had to. I couldn't hide this from him forever. He needed to know I was carrying his child.

***BTR***BTR***

I looked down at the picture in my hand, and sighed. Before I left the hospital, the doctor had given me a picture of the baby. I took a deep breath, then opened the door to apartment 2J. James and Carlos were sitting on the couch playing video games, and Kendall wasn't back yet. I set my keys down on the counter, then walked into the living room.

"J-James?" I asked.

Carlos paused the game, and both he and James looked up at me.

"Yeah?" James asked.

"C-can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked.

"I'm really busy, Logan"

"Please?"

James nodded, then followed me into my bedroom. I closed the door, then turned to face James.

"James I…."

"Wait. I want to apologize first. I'm sorry for being such an asshole towards you" James said.

"Its ok, but there's something I need to tell you" I said.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I know you don't love me, and that's fine, but can we you know, go back to normal? Especially now when I really need you and…."

"Logan, what's going on?"

"Here" I said as I handed him the picture.

"What is this?" James asked.

"Our baby" I said.

"Our what?"

"Our baby. I'm pregnant"

"How? You're a guy" James asked.

"I know, but I have this rare condition" I said.

"Oh"

"Please James don't be mad. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry"

"Why are you apologizing to me? You should be telling this to Kendall" James said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because its his baby" James said.

"No its not. Its yours" I said.

"Logan, do you think I'm an idiot? Its Kendall's baby, and you're just telling me this so I could be with you. But you know what? I don't love you ok, so just move on" James said.

"But it is your baby" I said.

"Not its not, Logan"

"Yes it is"

"Then if its mine, get an abortion, because I don't want it" James said.

"I'm not going to kill our baby. Why don't you want it?" I asked.

"Because its not mine!" James yelled.

"Yes it is, James. Stop denying it. You're the one who had sex with me recently" I said.

"So? That doesn't make it mine. Who knows how many guys you've spread for" James said.

"James, I really need you. Our baby needs you" I said.

"I'm sorry, Logan, but I'm not the baby's father. And I never will be" James said.

James threw the picture on the floor, then left the room. I picked up the picture and collapsed on my bed. I curled up into a ball, and held the picture tightly to my chest. I didn't know what I was going to do. I was going to be alone throughout this whole pregnancy. Why didn't James believe me?

I didn't know how I was going to get James to realize its his baby, but I was going to do whatever it takes to get him to believe me. I just hope he does believe me.

**A/N: yeah James was such an asshole in this chap. i swear i wanted to hit him. anyway i will explain why James was so angry, but i think you probably know why. i will update soon. i have another story that i forgot about because of this story. is it weird that i like this story better? hmm dont know. anyway hope the chap wasnt so bad. and i feel so bad for Logan. =( anyway bye for now.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Kendall's POV**

I walked into the apartment at around eleven o'clock. All the lights were turned off, so I figured everyone was already asleep. I quietly made my way to my room, and sat on my bed. I took my shoes off and threw them in the corner. I looked over at Logan's bed, and saw that it was empty. I turned my head in the direction of the connecting bathroom, but that was empty too. I stood up from the bed and went into the living room.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard whimpering. I walked into the kitchen, and the whimpering grew louder. It seemed like the crying was coming from the kitchen-bathroom, and it sounded like Logan.

I grabbed the knob, and slowly opened the door. Logan was sitting against the bathtub, holding his knees. He had his face buried in his arms, and he was crying. His whole body shook from his sobbing. There was drops of blood on the floor, and a picture was laying next to Logan.

"Logan?" I asked.

Logan's head snapped up and I got a good look at him. His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were stained with tears. I looked at his arms, and I could see a few cuts on them.

"Logan, what's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head and turned away from me. The first thing that popped in my head was that James did something to him, but James wasn't like that. He never hurt anyone, especially his best friends. The second thing that came to mind was that something happened at the hospital today. I was hoping nothing bad happened.

I walked over to Logan and sat down next to him. I wrapped my arms around him, and he buried his face in my chest. He continued to cry, staining my shirt with tears.

"Shh its ok" I said as I rubbed his back soothingly.

I held onto Logan for a few minutes, then he started to calm down. He pulled away from me and wiped away his tears. I looked at his arms again, then reached out to touch the fresh wounds. Logan quickly pulled his arm away from me.

"Logie, why?" I asked.

"I-I didn't m-mean to. I was just so upset a-and I d-did it" Logan said.

"Logan, there are other ways to make yourself feel better. Cutting isn't one of them" I said.

"I k-know" he said.

"Please don't do it, Logan." I said.

"I'm sorry, Kendall"

"Its ok, just don't it again. I don't like it when you're hurt"

Logan sniffed and looked down at his arms. I stood up and grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom closet. I wet it, then started to clean up Logan's cuts. When I was finished, I placed the washcloth in the bathtub.

I sat back down next to Logan, and wrapped my arms around him. He rested his head on my shoulder, and his hand fell on his stomach. He started rubbing it slowly, and more tears came to his eyes. I thought that was a little weird, but then I remembered Logan went to see a doctor today. I was hoping he was ok.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked.

"N-nothing" Logan said.

I sighed and looked at the floor. The picture that was laying next to Logan caught my eye. I reached over and picked it up. I wiped the blood off of it, then looked at it.

"Logan, what is this?" I asked.

Logan looked at me, then tried to take the picture out of my hand.

"Give it back" he said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Please give it back"

"Logan, tell me what this is first"

"My baby" Logan muttered.

"Your what?" I asked.

Logan turned away from me, and started crying again. He brought his knees up to his chest and sobbed. I scooted closer to him, and wrapped him tightly in my arms.

"Logan, what's going on?" I asked.

"I'm…p-pregnant" he said.

"You are? But how?" I asked.

"The doctor s-said that I could get p-pregnant because of some c-condition I have" Logan said.

"Aw Logie, its not that bad. At least you're ok" I said.

"No its n-not. I'm going to be a-alone" Logan said.

"No you're not. James will….."

"James doesn't love me"

"What?" I asked.

Logan buried his face back into my chest. "He doesn't love me, Kendall. H-he doesn't l-love me"

"I'm so sorry, Logan" I said.

"I'm so scared" he said.

"Don't be. If James wont step up, then I will. I'll be here for you and the baby" I said.

Logan looked up at me. "R-really?"

"Yes. I'm not going to let you go through this alone" I said.

"Thank you, Kendall" Logan said.

"You're welcome, Logie" I said.

Logan rested his head on my shoulder, and let out a yawn.

"Lets go to bed" I said.

Logan nodded, and I helped him up. He went to our room, but I stayed behind. I looked at the picture in my hand, then I followed Logan. He climbed into his bed, and I covered him with he blankets. I changed into my pajamas, then got into my own bed. I pulled the covers over my body, then placed the picture on the nightstand.

Logan fell asleep instantly, and I watched him for a few minutes. The poor guy looked worn out and upset. He really needed his rest. My eyes started to droop, so I let them close.

"Kendall?"

I opened my eyes to see Logan sitting up in bed.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Can I sleep with you?" he asked.

"Of course" I said.

Logan crawled into bed with me, and I wrapped my arms around him. He placed his hand over his stomach, and rubbed it.

"So James is the father, right?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about it" Logan said.

"Are you ever gonna tell me?" I asked.

"Later"

"Ok"

Logan snuggled under my arms, then fell asleep. I listened to his soft breathing for a few minutes. I placed my hand on Logan's stomach, and rubbed it soothingly. It was a little weird that my best guy friend was pregnant, but I was going to be there for him no matter what.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

My eyes fluttered open, and I noticed Logan wasnt laying next to me. I quickly sat up and looked around the room. Logan was sitting on his bed, looking down at the picture in his hand.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Hmm? Oh yeah…..I'm fine" he said.

"Come here" I said.

Logan sat in between my legs, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. Logan continued to look at the picture, and a few tears dropped onto it.

"What's wrong? Is it about James?" I asked.

"I'm just scared" Logan said.

"Don't be. If you want, I'll be the baby's father" I said.

"You are" Logan whispered.

"I am? I thought James was?" I asked.

"Um…. I think…..I mean…..I'm pretty sure its you" Logan said.

"So I am? Not James?" I asked.

Logan hesitated for a minute, then slowly nodded his head. Now I was confused. Logan made it seem like James was the father, but it turns out I was. What was I going to do? I wasn't ready to be a father. I was still with Jo, and now I have to tell her that Logan's having my baby.

James was really going to hate me when he finds out. But he said he didn't love Logan, so I guess I didn't have to worry about James. But how could James do that? Play with Logan's feeling, then dump him. I didn't think James was like that, but I guess he was. He was an asshole.

"I'll be right back" I said.

"Where are you going?" Logan asked.

"To end things with Jo" I said.

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Because I cant be with her when you're having my baby. And…..I love you." I said.

"You d-do?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. I guess I never got over you. You're not easy to forget, Logan" I said.

Logan wrapped his arms around me. "I love you too"

I gave Logan a kiss on the forehead, then I grabbed a set of clothes. I quickly got dressed, then I left the apartment. I texted Jo and told her to meet me in the lobby. She seemed a little confused when I said we needed to talk. I reached the lobby, and I found Jo waiting for me on the couches.

"Hey," she said. "You wanted to talk?"

"Can we talk somewhere a little more private?" I asked.

Jo nodded, then we went to her apartment. I was glad her parents weren't home. I really didn't want them to hear my conversation with Jo.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" she asked.

I sighed. "Jo, I don't think we should be together anymore."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because…..I haven't exactly gotten over Logan. I still love him and I miss being with him. I'm sorry" I said.

"No its ok. I understand" Jo said.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah. I kinda figured you weren't over him. But I am glad you let me know by telling me, not by cheating" Jo said.

"I wouldn't have done that" I said.

Jo smiled, then gave me a hug. "I hope things work out for you"

"Jo, there's another reason why I need to go back with Logan." I said.

Jo pulled away. "What is it?"

"Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want it to get out" I said.

"I promise, Kendall"

I took a deep breath. "Logan's uh….having my baby"

Jo gasped. "What?"

"I know it sounds weird, but its true. He showed me a picture of the baby last night" I said.

"Wow. That's um…..uh great" Jo said.

"Yeah. Please don't tell anyone" I said.

"I wont. I'm actually really happy for you. You're having a baby" she said.

"But I'm terrified. I don't know anything about being a father." I said.

"Don't worry. You'll be a great dad" Jo said.

"Thanks Jo"

"You're welcome"

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and saw that I had a text from Carlos.

"I have to go. Gustavo wants to see us" I said.

"Ok. Have fun" Jo said.

"Bye" I said.

I left her apartment, and headed back to mine. I was still scared about becoming a father, but I was also a little excited. Things seemed to be turning around for me. I had Logan back, and we were going to have a baby.

My life seemed to be getting better.

**A/N: Hi. ok so i feel bad for Kendall now. he thinks its his baby, but its James's just to let everyone know. i will explain why Logan lied about it. i think that was stupid for Logan to do that. he just made everything worse. anyway i just realized that i messed everything up on how Logan finds out that James loves kendall. but i think i can fix it. i thought of a few ideas. oh do you guys have any ideas? im kinda runing out. im sorry for this long authors note. i will update tomorrow or later idk yet. bye for now.**


	18. Chapter 18

**James POV**

I laid in bed, listening to Carlos's snoring. I don't know how he could be sound asleep, but I guess it was because he wasn't freaking out over something. Me, on the other hand, was freaking out.

Logan had told me today that he was pregnant. I wasn't so freaked out about that. It was the fact that I was supposedly the baby's father. How the hell was I the father? I only slept with Logan once. You cant get pregnant that fast, right?

I tried to believe Logan, but I couldn't. There was no way I got him pregnant. No fucking way! If I was the father of Logan's baby, everything would be ruined. How am I supposed to be with Kendall if Logan is carrying my kid? Kendall would just hate me, and our friendship would be ruined forever. Everything was ruined. All thanks to that meaningless sex I had with Logan.

I turned over onto my back, and stared at the ceiling. I could still hear Carlos snoring, but a new sound filled my ears. It sounded like someone was crying, and it sounded like Logan.

All of sudden my anger turned to guilt. I made Logan cry all because of the way I acted. I treated Logan like he didn't mean anything. I tried to apologize for saying I didn't love him, but that didn't work. I fucked it up by calling him a whore, and by denying that the baby was mine. I also told him to kill it.

After some thinking, I decided to be there for Logan and the baby. I cant just leave him alone for the whole thing. It was my responsibility too, and I needed to be there.

I felt like getting up, and trying to comfort him, but I stopped when I heard the front door open then close. I listened for a few minutes, then I heard footsteps in the living room. I figured Kendall had just gotten home from his date with Jo. I was hoping he didn't hear Logan crying. I was wrong.

I heard the kitchen-bathroom door open, then I could hear Logan and Kendall talking. I couldn't make out the words, but I had a feeling it was about me and the baby. Their voices died down, and I heard them go to their room.

I sighed and rubbed my head. I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be awful

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

I woke up the next morning, and groaned. We had to go to the studio, and that wasn't the place I wanted to be at today. I got out of bed, and went to take a quick shower. After spending a good half an hour on my hair ( I would've spent longer on it if we didn't have to be at the studio so early) I went into the kitchen.

Carlos was sitting at the table eating cereal, and Logan was just looking at his breakfast. I noticed Kendall wasn't here. Which I thought was a little weird.

"Where's Kendall?" I asked.

Carlos shrugged. "I don't know. When I woke up, he wasn't here"

"Huh weird. Well can you text him? We have to go soon" I said.

Carlos nodded and pulled out his cell phone. While Carlos was texting Kendall, I decided to get myself breakfast. I sat down next to Carlos and Logan, and ate my cereal. Logan still had his eyes on his now soggy cereal, and I frowned. He was still clearly upset, but I didn't know how to apologize to him.

Carlos kept looking back and forth between Logan and I, but I shook my head. Carlos sighed then stood up to put his bowl in the sink. A few minutes later, Kendall walked into the apartment. Logan looked up and immediately went over to Kendall. He wrapped Kendall in a hug, and Kendall whispered something in his ear.

All of sudden my anger came back. I could feel my blood start to boil because of it. Logan and Kendall had gotten back together. I just knew it.

I felt so angry that I wanted to hit something or someone. And Logan looked pretty good right now. Maybe I could if I hit him so hard, I could destroy that growing thing inside him. No! I cant do that. What the hell am I thinking? I'm not that type of person, I would never hurt my friends or….my baby.

We left the apartment, and headed over to Rocque Records. Gustavo made us get right to work, so I tried to focus on that. An hour later, Logan was running out of the sound booth. Gustavo sighed in frustration and rubbed his head. He gave us a break, which I was happy about.

Carlos and I were sitting on the couches in the lounge, waiting for Logan and Kendall to return. Logan was still throwing up, and Kendall went to go take care of him. I would've done it, but Logan pretty much hates me right now. And I don't blame him.

"Dude, you ok?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"I don't know. You just seem out of it today" he said.

"I'm fine" I said.

"What's with you and Logan? He doesn't even want to look or talk to you. What did you do this time?" Carlos asked.

"Why do you always think I did something?" I asked.

Carlos shrugged. "I don know, because you always do. So what did you do to poor Logan?"

"I knocked him up" I muttered.

"What!"

"Will you shut up"

"But how? I mean…..he's a guy!" Carlos said.

"Yeah well he can pop out kids" I said.

"So its yours?"

"Yup"

"How do you feel?" Carlos asked.

"How do you think I feel? I'm angry, upset, scared" I said.

"Don't worry, James. You can get through this. You're James Dia…."

"I know who I am," I snapped. "But right now I don't want to be James Diamond"

"Why?" Carlos asked.

"Because my life is ruined. My chances with Kendall is ruined. Everything's ruined" I said.

"No its not. You still have a chance with Kendall" Carlos said.

"Carlos, just stop. I don't have a chance with him. I never did" I said.

"We can fix this, James" Carlos said.

"It cant be fixed. What do you not understand?" I asked.

"James, just relax"

"I cant, Carlos. My life is fucking ruined. Everything is ruined because of what I said and did"

"What did you say?" Carlos asked.

"I told Logan that I didn't love him, that he was a whore, and for him to kill the baby. I ruined things with both Logan and Kendall" I said.

"James, you can….."

"I cant fix it, Carlos. Do you know how many times I've wished that I never said or did any of those things. I cant change the past" I said.

I covered my face with my hands, and Carlos placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Its ok, James" he said.

"No its not. I'm a loser. I still love Kendall, even when I know he doesn't love me and I knocked up his ex. He's gonna hate me forever" I said.

"No he's not. Kendall has never hated anyone, especially his best friends." Carlos said.

"I'm pretty sure he will hate me forever. I'm not really his best friend anymore" I said.

We both looked up when Kendall and Logan appeared. Logan looked a sickly green, and he was covered in sweat.

"Guys, we're going home. Logan isn't feeling that great" Kendall said.

"I'll tell Gustavo" Carlos said.

We left the studio, and went back to our apartment. Logan collapsed on the couch, and Kendall joined him. I went into the kitchen, and Carlos followed me. I wanted to make sure Kendall and Logan were really back together.

"Hey Logie," Kendall said. "I told Jo about the baby"

"What did she say?" Logan asked.

"That she's happy for us. She said I was going to make a great dad" Kendall said.

Carlos turned to me and gave me a confused look.

"I thought you said that baby was yours" Carlos whispered.

"I did. I am. I don't know what Kendall is talking about" I said.

"Maybe Logan told Kendall that he was the father and not you"

"There's only one way to find out"

I walked out of the kitchen, and went into the living room. I wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Kendall, can we talk?" I asked.

Kendall looked up at me. "Um sure"

He stood up from the couch and followed me into my room. I closed the door and turned to face Kendall.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Kendall asked.

"Why did you say the baby was yours?" I asked.

"Because it is"

"No its not. I'm the father"

"Logan said the baby's mine. And why do you care? You don't love him anyway" Kendall said.

"We're not talking about that. We're talking about the baby, and its mine" I said.

"No its not, James. Logan told me its mine" Kendall said.

"Well he lied. I'm the one who knocked Logan up. Not you" I said.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I don't have time to argue with you"

"Kendall its my baby, and I'm going to be there for Logan" I said.

"James, Logan doesn't need you. So you can run off with the person that you're so madly in love with" Kendall said.

"But I cant"

"Why?"

"Its too complicated" I said.

"Well have fun trying to figure it out" Kendall said.

Kendall walked over to the door and grabbed the knob.

"Wait" I said.

Kendall turned around. "What?"

"There's something else I need to tell you" I said.

"Sorry James, but Logan really needs me" Kendall said.

"But….."

Kendall walked out of the room and slammed the door.

"I love you"

**A/N: Ok i kinda feel bad for James, but then i dont. i still feel bad for Logan, and its gonna get worse for him. in the next chapter is when James spills his secret. i already have that chap ready to go, but i dont think i will post it till tomorrow. i'm kinda spoiling u guys by updating all the time lol. anyway i will get that chap up eventually. well bye for now. =D**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hi so yes i updated today. i dont care if i spoil you guys. you all deserve to be spoiled. i do want to say Happy Birthday to gleechild. i guess this chap could be a birthday gift for you. if you want that is lol. well happy birthday and i hope you have a great day. party hard lol. so here is the next chap and its dramactic...well kinda.**

**Logan's POV**

"Oh god it hurts" I said.

"Just relax, Logie" Kendall said.

I clutched my stomach and tossed and turned on my bed. Kendall was laying next to me, trying to comfort me. I absolutely hated being pregnant. I still threw up and suffered from those awful stomach cramps. I wanted all of this to end, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Its been about two days since I found out I was having a baby, and everything seemed to get worse. I told James about the baby, but he didn't believe it was his. He kept saying it was Kendall's. He even lost control and said some pretty bad things. Things I wasn't even sure I could forgive him for.

I still wanted James to be there for the baby, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. I told Kendall that he was the father of my baby. I don't know why I did it. Part of the reason was because I panicked. The other part was because I didn't want to be alone throughout this whole pregnancy. It seemed like everyone forgot about me, so I had no one to run to. But now, Kendall would be here for me and the baby, so now I wasn't completely alone.

I guess it was a good thing I lied. Not only will I not be alone anymore, but I have Kendall back. The baby sort of brought us back together, even though Kendall wasn't the father. But I didn't want to tell him that the baby was actually James's. Kendall would just hate me forever, and I didn't want that.

I sat up quickly from the bed, and ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet and emptied all the contents from my stomach. I could feel Kendall rubbing soothing circles on my back. I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet, then leaned back against the bathtub.

"You ok?" Kendall asked.

I shook my head. "No. I want this part to end"

"Doesn't it stop at the end of your first trimester? I think that's what you said" Kendall said.

"Well it could, but every pregnancy different. This could last till the end" I said.

"That's not too bad"

I shot Kendall a glare. He chuckled and wrapped his arm around me.

"Just try to eat foods that don't bother you that much" Kendall said.

"I'm trying, but its not easy." I said.

Kendall chuckled again, then helped me up. We went back into our room, and I collapsed on my bed. Kendall joined me and I snuggled closer to him.

"Do you want to watch TV?" Kendall asked.

"No. James is out there" I said.

"Are you and James still fighting?" Kendall asked.

"Yes, but its his fault. After he said he didn't love me, things changed a lot between us." I said.

"Is it because he loves someone else?"

I sighed. "I don't know. Probably. But I want to know who he loves. Why cant I figure it out?"

"Maybe because you don't need to know who it is. Does it really matter, Logie" Kendall asked.

"I guess not, but I still want to know. I'm just curious about who James loves, that he couldn't even love me" I said.

"Do you want him to love you?" Kendall asked.

"No of course not. I just….."

"You just what?"

"I don't want to talk about it" I said.

Kendall sighed. "Just don't worry about him. I'm here for you, so you don't need him"

"Yeah" I said.

I snuggled closer to Kendall and rested my head on his chest. Kendall kissed my temple, then placed his hand over my stomach. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

BTR***BTR***BTR

A few days later, Kendall and I were relaxing on the couch. Gustavo decided to give us the day off because he was getting frustrated with us. Mostly me. I kept ruining rehearsals whenever I ran out of the studio to puke my guts out. So since rehearsals never lasted that long because I was sick, Gustavo gave us the day off.

Kendall and I decided to spend our day off relaxing. James and Carlos were at the pool, Katie was with Tyler, and Mrs. Knight was out enjoying her Friday afternoon. I was glad the apartment was empty. Kendall and I could be alone for once.

I had my head rested on Kendall's shoulder, and he was holding me close. I let out a groan when my stomach started cramping up. Kendall placed his hand over my stomach and rubbed it soothingly.

"Breathe Logie" he said.

I took a few deep breaths, but it wasn't really helping with the pain. I laid down and rested my head in Kendall's lap. He rubbed my forehead, then ran his fingers through my hair. I looked up at Kendall and he leaned down. Our lips connected for a sweet kiss.

Kendall was about to pull away, but I brought him back for more. This time the kiss was a little more rough and heated. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and tangled my fingers in his hair. Kendall moaned in both pain and pleasure when I tugged on his hair.

We both looked up when the apartment door opened. James and Carlos walked in, and stared at us. James shook his head and stormed off to his room. I winced when I heard the bedroom door slam hard. Carlos sighed and went into the kitchen

"What's up with James?" Kendall asked.

"I'll find out" I said

"Logie don't"

I ignored Kendall and got up from the couch. I made my way down the hall towards James and Carlos's room. I knocked on the door, then slowly opened it. James was sitting on his bed, his face in his hands.

"James?"

"Get out"

"James, please talk to me. Why did you get upset?" I asked.

"Get out, Logan" he growled.

"James, I don't want us to keep acting like this. I really want my best friend back"

"So do I"

"And I'm here, James. But you don't want to associate with me. What did I do for you to hate me so much?" I asked.

"Thanks to you the person I love will probably never love me back, or want to be with me. You ruined everything, Logan. That thing inside of you ruined everything" James said.

"James, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. But I need you right now. I want you in the baby's life and….."

"Maybe I don't want to. Let Kendall do it. You already told him the baby was his"

"I only did it because no one else was there for me. Kendall said he would help me, and I really needed someone" I said.

"You know what Logan. I actually wanted that baby, but not anymore. You cant say you want me in its life, when you pretty much just kicked me out of it by saying Kendall was the father." James said.

"James, I'm so sorry. I do really want you in the baby's life. The baby needs its father" I said.

"It has one, but I'm not it"

"James, please forgive me. I'm sorry for everything I did" I said.

"I cant forgive you, Logan"

"Please James"

"Logan, I cant. Its not that easy" James said.

"I'm your friend, and friends forgive each other. We're like brothers and even though brothers fight, they still make up and forgive each other. I swear I never meant to hurt you." I said.

My eyes filled up with tears, and a few slipped. I placed my hand over my stomach, and cried a little harder.

"I'll get rid of it" I whispered.

"What?" James asked.

"I'll get rid of the baby. Its causing everyone too much stress, and I don't want to lose our friendship because of it" I said.

"Logan, don't do it. Please don't kill the baby" James said.

I sat down on the bed next to James. "But you don't even want it"

James pulled me into a hug. "I didn't mean that. I was just scared"

"But you said it ruined your chance with that other person" I said.

"I think my chances were ruined anyway. It doesn't matter now" James said.

"I'm so sorry, James. I'm so sorry" I said.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have acted the way I did"

"So can we still be friends?" I asked.

"Yeah, I would like that" James said.

"If you want, I could help you get that person back" I said.

"Its ok. Its too late" James said.

"No its not. Who is it anyway?" I asked.

"I think you know"

"I do?"

"Just think Logan"

I didn't know what James was talking about. How did I know the person he was in love with? He never mentioned anyone. The only time James seemed different was when Kendall and I were together. But what did that have to do with anything? I thought he got upset that one time Kendall and I were cuddling on the couch because he loved me, but he later told me that same day that he didn't have any feelings for me. So that means he had to love….

I quickly stood up from the bed. "Oh my god"

"What? Logan's what's wrong?" James asked.

"You….you love….K-Kendall"

"Logan, I'm so sorry. I wanted to say something before, but I was scared"

"You love him" I said.

James stood up from the bed and walked over to me.

"Get away from me" I said.

"Logan, just calm down" James said.

"How long?"

"Logan…."

"How long!" I screamed.

James sighed. "Since we were ten"

I rubbed my face with my hands. "Oh my god. I cant be here"

I walked over to the bedroom door, but James grabbed my wrist.

"Don't tell him" James said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't want him to know" James said.

"Leave me alone, James" I said.

"Logan please"

"Let me go!" I screamed.

James sighed and let go of my wrist. I opened the door and ran out of the room.

"Logie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Kendall asked.

I hadn't even realized I was crying. I wiped away my tears and walked over to the front door. I grabbed the knob and opened the door. Kendall ran up to me and grabbed my shoulders, turning me to face him.

"Logan what happened?" he asked.

"Just….just get away from me" I said.

"Logie, tell me what happened. What did he do?" Kendall asked.

"Leave me alone. I don't want you!" I screamed.

"Logie"

"I don't want you" I whispered.

Kendall face fell and he let go of me. I ran out of the apartment and down to the lobby. I really needed someone to talk to right now. I spotted Camille and I walked up to her.

"Oh my god. Logan what's wrong?" she asked.

"I really need to talk you. I don't know what to do" I sobbed.

"Ok we can go to my place" she said.

I nodded and she grabbed my hand. We made our way towards the elevators, but stopped when we heard someone call out Camille's name. We turned around to see Steve walk up to us. When he saw me he rolled his eyes.

I looked at Camille. "Please"

"She's not going with you. You had your chance with her" Steve said.

Steve took Camille's hand and dragged her away from me. I could feel more tears streaming down my face. People were looking at me with worried expressions on their faces. I ran out of the lobby, and headed towards the stairs. I opened the door at the top and ran onto the roof. I tripped and fell flat on my face. I curled up into a ball, and sobbed uncontrollably.

I felt so angry, upset, shocked. James was in love with Kendall. He loved my boyfriend. That explains why James never mentioned who he was in love with. I didn't know why I didn't realize this sooner, but even if I did know, I couldn't change anything.

Carlos even knew about this. He was always helping James try and get Kendall. They were the reason Kendall and I got in that bad argument, then broke up. This was all part of James's plan. He wanted Kendall to dump me, so he could move in. James and Carlos didn't even care if my feelings got hurt along the way.

No one cared about me. Every time I needed to talk to someone, all my friends were too busy for me. I couldn't even talk to Camille because Steve thought I still had feelings for her and that I wanted her back. All I wanted was a friend to talk to, but I didn't have anyone.

What if Kendall find out that James loves him? Will he leave me and go with James? Kendall just might. I lied to Kendall. I betrayed him, so how could he want to stay with me. He was just going to go with James. I just knew it.

I placed my hand over my stomach and sobbed harder. Both my baby and I were completely alone now. No one wanted us. No one cared about us. No one loved us. And they never will.

**A/N: So what did you guys think? i still feel really bad for Logan. everything for him is ruined. well sorta. i will post the next chap once i have it written. bye for now =D**


	20. Chapter 20

**Kendall's POV**

I stared at the apartment door, trying to comprehend what just happened. I didn't understand why Logan was so upset. He seemed fine a few minutes ago, then after his talk with James, this happened.

Carlos was looking at me with a shocked expression. I guess he didn't even know what was going on. I didn't understand why Logan was like this. What made my poor Logie lose it?

I turned around when I heard a door open. James slowly walked into the living room, and our eyes met. He had a look of guilt on his face, and I knew he had done something.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Nothing. We were just talking and…..and I said some things" James said.

I walked over to James, and got right it his face. "What did you do to Logan?"

"Nothing I swear. He just figured out something" James said

"What did he figure out?"

"I cant tell you"

"Why? Whatever you said hurt Logan, and I deserve to know what it was" I said.

"I cant tell you, Kendall" James said.

"Just tell me" I yelled.

"Tell him, James" Carlos said.

James looked at Carlos. "I cant"

"What are you guys talking about? What did you say that hurt Logan?" I asked.

James looked down at his feet. That made me even more angry. My two best friends didn't want to tell me what's going on and why my pregnant boyfriend was crying.

"You know what. Forget it. I'll just ask Logan what happened. He'll talk to me" I said,

"Kendall wait" James said.

I ignored James and walked over to the front door. I grabbed the knob and turned it.

"I love you"

I turned back to James. "What?"

"I….I love you. That's what made Logan upset. He found out I have feelings for you" James said.

"You…..you love me?" I asked.

James slowly nodded his head. "Yeah. A lot"

"For how long?"

"Since we were ten. I meant to tell you sooner, but I was scared. And then you started dating Logan, and that made me not want to tell you even more. I'm so sorry" James said.

I didn't know what to do or what to say. What are you supposed to say when your best friend says he's in love with you? James couldn't love me, I was in love with Logan. Logan was carrying my baby. James couldn't love me. I couldn't love him.

"Please say something. Anything" James said.

"I… I don't know what to say" I said.

"You have nothing to say? Not even that you love me back?" James asked.

"I'm sorry, James. But I cant love you" I said.

James stepped forward. "Please"

"I'm so sorry" I said.

I opened the door, and walked out of the apartment. I felt so bad for turning down James, but what was I supposed to do? I cant just abandon Logan and the baby. They need me right now, and I wasn't going to leave them.

I walked into the lobby, and scanned the area for Logan. I sighed when I didn't see him. I went out to the pool, but I still didn't find him.

"Kendall"

I turned around to see Camille running towards me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I was just going to ask you the same thing" she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"What happened to Logan? He came up to me and he was crying" Camille said.

"Did he say anything? Where is he?" I asked.

"I don't know. Steve dragged me away from him. I didn't see what way he went" Camille said.

"Can you help me look for him? I don't want him to do anything stupid, and he hurts himself and the baby" I said.

"Baby? What baby?" Camille asked.

"He didn't tell you?"

"No"

"Well you'll find out soon enough, but right now we need to find him" I said.

"I'll check the park. You keep looking around here" Camille said.

I nodded. "Ok"

Camille left the Palm Woods, and I continued to search the hotel. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find him. It started to get dark, and I got even more worried. My poor Logie was out there somewhere, crying and upset. Then I remembered once place he could be. The one place he always runs off to when he needs to be alone or to think.

I quickly ran to the stairs, and I went up to the roof. I opened the door and looked around.

"Logie" I called.

I didn't get a response, but I kept looking. I was hoping and praying he was ok. I stopped walking when I spotted a figure near the edge of the roof. I pulled out my phone and texted Camille, telling her I found Logan. I ran over to him and sighed in relief when he was ok.

"Logie" I said.

He looked up at me. "Kendall?"

"I'm here Logie. I'm here" I said.

Logan threw himself at me and hugged me tightly. I heard him whimpering, and I rubbed his back.

"Shh Logie its ok. Everything is fine now" I said.

"No its not. James l-loves you, and you love h-him" Logan sobbed.

"No Logie no. I don't love him. I love you so much" I said.

"N-no you don't. I betrayed you and ruined your life" Logan said.

"If you think the baby ruined my life, you're wrong. I love this baby so much" I said.

"No you don't. I should just get rid of it. Look what its done to everyone" Logan said.

"Logie, the baby's innocent and you know it. Don't take away an innocent life because you're not ready" I said.

"But I'm not ready. I'm going to be alone during this whole thing" Logan said.

"No you're not. I said I would be here for you, and I am. I'm never going to leave you and this baby" I said.

"You promise?"

"I promise"

Logan hugged me tighter, and I kissed the top of his head.

"Lets go back now" I said.

"No," Logan said as he held me tighter. "I don't want to go back"

"Why?"

"Because I cant"

"Logie, what did James tell you?" I asked.

"Just that he loves you" Logan said.

"Is that it? Or was there more?"

"That's it"

"Logie, are you sure?" I asked.

"I don't really want to talk about it" Logan said.

"Please just talk to me"

"No"

I sighed and Logan pulled away from me. He sat down and brought his leg up to his chest. He kept his eyes on his feet, not wanting to look up at me. I knew immediately what was going on in his head. He didn't want me to return the same feelings for James, because then he would be alone. But I wasn't going to that. I loved Logan more then anything, and I wasn't going to give him up so easily.

I sighed and sat down next to Logan. "I don't love him"

Logan looked up at me. "You don't?"

"No. I love you and only you. Don't worry about anything. James will forget about me and move on" I said.

"He's loved you for seven years, Kendall. He's not going to get over you" Logan said.

"Well he's gonna have to. I love you and we have a baby on the way. James has to understand that I cant be with him" I said.

"I'm just scared you will leave me for him. He's a lot better for you anyway" Logan said.

"No he's not. I only love him as a friend. You and I have a different relationship. You're the only person that I want" I said.

"But what if you do go with James? At least with him you guys wont fight all the time" Logan said.

"Logan, I will never leave you for James. I know our relationship wasn't the best, but look at us now. We haven't fought in a long time. Our relationship is improving" I said.

Logan wrapped me in a hug. "Please don't leave me. Please"

"I wont, Logie. I love you so much" I said.

"I love you too" Logan said.

He snuggled closer to me, and I held him tightly in my arms. He buried his face into my chest, and I gave him a kiss on the head. In a matter of minutes, Logan was asleep and snoring softly.

I still couldn't get over everything that happened today. I was still really shocked about it. My best friend that I've known forever, said he loved me. I felt bad for rejecting James, but I didn't have those same feelings. I love Logan, and we have a baby on the way. James was just going to have to realize that we never had a chance, and for him to move on.

Maybe if James would've told me a lot sooner, I would've given him a chance. But James kept his feelings hidden, so I never knew how he felt about me.

I was going to make sure I apologized to him in the morning. I've been acting like an ass towards him, and I needed to apologize to him. James was still my best friend, but that's all he'll ever be. I just hope he understands that.

**A/N: HI! so i decided to update today. you guys got two updates. lucky! lol anyway i will update tomorrow and you can see what James is thinking. i kinda feel nbad for him, but only a little. wow im nice. so yeah i will update tomorrow. bye =D**


	21. Chapter 21

**James POV**

My heart shattered into a million little pieces at those words. What Kendall said hit me hard in the chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My whole body felt numb. Almost like I lost all feeling.

His words kept repeating over and over in my head. He didn't love me back. I had just told Kendall my biggest secret, but it didn't mean anything to him. My feelings for him meant absolutely nothing.

I knew it was a mistake to fake date Logan. It just ruined everything with Kendall. And now Logan was having my baby. That right there made everything ten times worse. I was having a baby with someone I didn't even love. I loved Kendall. I loved him so much it hurt, but he didn't love me back. He never did. He never will.

I collapsed on the couch, and covered my face with my hands. I could feel tears approaching, but I wasn't going to let them fall. I never cried in front of my friends. I didn't want them to see that the confident James Diamond could be weak. I felt the couch dip, then hands rubbing my back.

"Its ok, James" Carlos said.

I shook my head. "No its not. He doesn't love me back. It was a mistake to tell him"

"It was not a mistake, James. It's a good thing you put your feelings out there." Carlos said.

"But he doesn't even feel the same way. I'm so stupid for thinking we ever had a chance" I said.

"I'm sorry, James. I thought you had one too, but he loves Logan" Carlos said.

"I hate him"

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Its Logan's fault all of this happened. He's the one who pretended to date me. He's the one who got pregnant. He ruined everything" I said.

"But James, you had a choice to date Logan, and you said yes. You could've said no" Carlos said.

"I didn't think any of this would happen. I know I should've said no, but Logan was so upset, and I couldn't find it in myself to not help him. I'm such an idiot huh?" I asked.

"I guess people do stupid things when they care about someone. But James, I think you need to move on. Its stupid wasting your time on someone who doesn't even feel the same way" Carlos said.

"But I cant forget about him. I've tried, Carlos, but I just cant" I said.

"I'm so sorry it didn't work out, James" Carlos said.

"We should have never made it worse"

"We?"

"Yeah its both our faults this happened. It got out of hand" I said.

"I was just trying to help you" Carlos said.

"Well it didn't work. I bet Logan hates both of us right now" I said.

"I'm sorry for interfering. I just wanted to make you happy, and I forgot about Logan and Kendall's feelings. I'm such a bad friend" Carlos said.

"No you're not. You're the greatest friend in the world. You were just trying to make me feel better, but….."

"I made everything worse"

"Well a little, but its mostly my fault. I'm the one who decided to play Logan's little game. I'm the one who got him pregnant. Its all my fault" I said.

"But its also Logan's. It was his idea to 'date' you in the first place" Carlos said.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to point fingers. I'm just going to try and fix my mistakes" I said.

"And you will"

"I hope so"

Carlos pulled me into a hug. "I hope you feel better"

"Thanks, Carlos" I said.

We pulled apart, and Carlos stood up from the couch. He stretched and let out a yawn.

"I'm going to bed. Today was really crazy" he said.

"Too crazy for ya?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's a little weird, but it was too crazy for me" Carlos said

I chuckled. "Ok. I'll be there in a minute"

Carlos nodded, then went to our room. I sighed and fell back against the couch. I didn't know how I was going to get over Kendall, but I have to try. I just wish he would've given me a chance.

I stood up from the couch, and went to bed. I was hoping tomorrow would be better, but I doubt it.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

My eyes shot open when I heard my phone vibrating. I reached over and grabbed it off the nightstand. I had a text from Kendall.

_**Meet me in the lobby. We need to talk-K**_

I set my phone down, then climbed out of bed. I was really nervous to talk to Kendall. I was afraid he was going to hurt me some more, and I didn't want that.

I quietly snuck out of the apartment, and went down to the lobby. I found Kendall sitting on one of the couches waiting for me. He looked up when I slowly approached him.

"We need to talk, but not here" he whispered.

I nodded my head. I followed Kendall to the stairs, then we walked onto the roof. Kendall closed the door behind him, then turned to face me.

"James, I'm really sorry for how I've been acting towards you. I didn't mean to treat you bad, but I was so upset about certain things. I'm sorry" Kendall said.

"I'm sorry too. I should've told you my feelings sooner" I said.

"Why didn't you?" Kendall asked.

"Because I was scared. I was afraid you'd laugh in my face, and I wouldn't be able to handle rejection. Especially from you" I said.

"James, you should've told me. We're best friends, and we can tell each other anything" Kendall said.

"I know" I said.

"And if you would've told me a long time ago, I would've given you a chance" Kendall said.

"You would've?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah. You're a great guy, James"

"Can you still give me a chance?"

Kendall sighed. "I cant, James. Logan and I love each other, and we have a baby on the way. I cant just leave him"

"But…."

I felt like telling Kendall that the baby wasn't even his. Maybe if I tell him, he will leave Logan and go with me. But I don't think I can tell him. He would be upset that Logan lied to him, and I didn't want to hurt Kendall.

"I'm so sorry, James. You have to understand that we cant be together" Kendall said.

"Not even in the future?"

"I don't know"

"Then if we cant be together, can we still be friends? I miss our old relationship" I said.

"I miss it too" Kendall said.

"Friends?"

"Friends"

I smiled and Kendall pulled me into a hug, I hesitated for a minute, then relaxed and wrapped my arms around him. It felt good to be embraced my him, even if it was in a friendly way. We pulled apart, and looked into each others eyes. Then I did something I shouldn't have. I pressed my lips to his, and kissed him sweetly. Kendall didn't pull away, but moved his lips with mine. After a few seconds, he quickly pulled away.

"James, what was that?" Kendall asked.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't even know what I was thinking. I don't even think I was thinking. Oh god that doesn't even make sense. Kendall, I'm so sorry" I said.

"James, its….its fine. But don't tell Logan. He already thinks I would leave him for you" Kendall said.

"Would you?"

"I cant"

"Oh" I said.

"I'm so sorry, James. Lets just forget about this whole thing ok? I don't want this to ruin our friendship" Kendall said.

I nodded. "Ok"

"Please don't kiss me again. It was nice, but…"

"Wait, you thought it was nice?"

"No! What I meant was…um…lets just forget about it and never bring it up" Kendall said.

"Ok. Sorry" I said.

"Don't worry. People make mistakes all the time"

"Tell me about it"

"C'mon. Lets go back inside" Kendall said.

I nodded and followed Kendall back to our apartment. He went to his room, and I went to mine. I climbed into bed, and a huge smile spread across my face. I finally did it. I kissed Kendall. I've been wanting to do that forever. His lips were so soft and moist, the kiss was absolutely amazing. Even Kendall said it was nice, and that had to mean something, right?

I know we're just friends, but maybe I still had a chance with him. It was a really low possibility, but I still had a chance. Maybe Kendall realized that he has feelings for me. I really hope he does, and that he can give me a chance.

**A/N: So would ya think? lol well at least Kendall and James's relationship is fixed, but now its a little awkward. Kendall still needs to find out the truth about the baby, and Logan needs to find out that Kendall and James kissed. lots of drama on the way. i hope the chap was good. bye for now =D**


	22. Chapter 22

**Logan's POV**

I sighed as I looked in the mirror. I placed my hand over my stomach, and let out a groan. I was now three months pregnant. My stomach wasn't even flat anymore, but was now a small bump. It wasn't that noticeable if I had my shirt down, but I still didn't like it.

I took one last look in the mirror, then walked out of the bathroom. Kendall was waiting for me in the living room. He was sitting on the couch with James and Carlos. James and Kendall didn't look that comfortable though. I started to notice that they were a little awkward with each other, and I didn't know why.

I was still angry with James. I don't think I could ever forgive him. He was in love with Kendall, and I couldn't have that. I may be carrying James's child, but Kendall was still mine. I was going to make sure that James never ends up with Kendall.

I also wasn't talking to Carlos. He betrayed me by helping James with some stupid plan, and I couldn't forgive him either. Carlos has tried talking to me, but I would ignore him. He cared more about James then me. Not that I care. I have Kendall, and that's all I really need.

I was a little nervous about today. I had a checkup for the baby, and I was a little scared. I was also excited as well. I was going to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time, so I was happy about that. I was hoping the baby was doing good.

"Kendall, I'm ready to go" I said.

Kendall nodded and stood up from the couch. He grabbed the keys, then we headed towards the door.

"Bye guys" Carlos said.

"Bye" Kendall said.

I rolled my eyes, and walked out of the apartment. We got into the car, and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah. Why?" I asked.

"Just wondering. You seemed a little bugged back there" Kendall said.

"Well I haven't forgiven James and Carlos yet" I said,

"Ok I understand James, but what did Carlos do?" Kendall asked.

"He helped James try and break us up. Carlos was the one who made us get into that big fight before we broke up. He's trying to get you and James together" I said.

Kendall chuckled. "Logie, you cant be serious"

"Oh I'm serious" I said.

"So let me get this straight. You think our little Carlitos is trying to ruin our relationship?" Kendall asked.

"I don't think, I know. Why do you think he is always with James? He's up to something" I said.

"Maybe he's with James all the time because they are really close. Just don't worry about it, Logie" Kendall said.

"I just don't want you to leave me" I said.

"I will never do that. I love you so much" Kendall said.

I smiled. "I love you too"

Kendall gave me a quick peck on the lips, then I turned towards the window. I shifted in my seat when a pain shot across my stomach. It was dull, so I didn't think much of it.

"You ok?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah I'm fine" I said.

Kendall nodded, then turned his attention back on the road.

"Hey Kendall?"

"Hmm?"

"What's up with you and James?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. You guys don't seem comfortable around each other." I said.

"Oh um we're fine" Kendall said.

"Are you sure? He didn't do anything did he?" I asked.

"Logie, relax. Nothing happened ok? And don't stress out over this. I don't want you hurting yourself or the baby" Kendall said.

I sighed. "Fine"

I looked down and placed my hand over my growing belly. Kendall placed his hand over mine, and I smiled.

"You look so cute with that baby bump" Kendall said.

"Yeah right. I look weird" I said.

"No you don't. You look beautiful."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean you always have, but now that you're carrying my baby, you're even more beautiful" Kendall said.

"Yeah I guess"

"You ok?"

"I'm fine, Kenny" I said.

Kendall nodded, then turned back to the road. I didn't know how I was going to tell Kendall that the baby was James's. I didn't want to hurt Kendall by telling him the truth, but I was hurting him by lying. Either way, Kendall was going to get hurt.

We pulled up to the hospital, and got out of the car. I signed myself in, then took a seat in the waiting room. I didn't know why I was so nervous. The baby was probably doing just fine. Kendall grabbed my hand, and rubbed my knuckles with his thumb. That calmed me down a little.

"Relax Logie. Everything is going to be fine" Kendall said.

"Ok" I said.

My name was finally called back, and we followed a nurse to a room. I sat on the bed, and Kendall took the chair next to me. We still had to wait a few more minutes for the doctor to come in. Kendall placed his hand on my knee, and smiled.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

"For what?" I asked.

"To hear our baby's heartbeat"

"Oh yeah"

"Are you?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah. Are you?" I asked

"Of course I am. We get to hear our baby's little heartbeat. Do you think we'll get to see the baby?" Kendall asked.

"Maybe. I don't know. Did you want to?" I asked.

"Yes, I really want to see what it looks like. You already got to see it, so its my turn" Kendall said.

"Yeah but when I saw it, it didn't look like a baby. You saw the picture and it didn't really look like anything." I said.

"But I want to see it on the screen. Not by a picture" Kendall said.

"You're really excited, aren't you?" I asked.

"I'm more then excited, Logie. We're having a baby" Kendall said.

I sighed and looked down at my baby bump. "Yeah"

Kendall opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when the doctor entered the room. It was the same one I had last time.

"Hello Logan," Dr. Williams said. "How are you?"

"I'm doing ok" said.

"And this must be the other daddy" the doctor said looking at Kendall.

Kendall held his hand out for the doctor to shake. "I'm Kendall"

"Nice to meet you, Kendall. Are you excited about becoming a father?" Dr. Williams asked.

"Yeah. I cant wait" Kendall said.

The doctor chuckled. "I bet you are. Now lets see how the baby's doing. Logan please lay back and lift your shirt"

I laid down on the bed, and lifted up my shirt, exposing my baby bump. I flinched when the doctor squirted some blue gel on my stomach. He turned the machine on, then pressed the transducer to my abdomen. The screen lit up with the inside of my stomach.

The room was silent for a minute, then I heard it. The sound of my baby's little heart. The whole room echoed with the sound. My eyes got a little misty just by hearing it. I looked over at Kendall, and his eyes were filled with tears too.

"Ok everything sounds good" the doctor said.

"Wait, is that the baby?" Kendall asked as he pointed at the screen.

"Mhm that's it. He or she is very healthy. Looks like Logan is doing at a great job at caring for it" Dr. Williams said.

I felt another pain hit my stomach, and I shifted slightly on the bed. I didn't know if I should say something or not. The pain wasn't that bad, so I thought my body was still adjusting for the baby.

"Ok well everything looks and sounds good, so you're all set" the doctor said.

"Thank you" I said.

"Can we have a picture?" Kendall asked.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"Look how cute it looks" Kendall said as we walked down the hall to our apartment.

He was still looking at the picture the doctor gave us. You could clearly make out the baby's body and fingers and toes. Kendall wouldn't set it down for anything, but I had to get him to since he was the one driving us home.

We walked into the apartment, and I sat down on the couch. I was really tired from today, and I wanted to take a nap. Kendall joined me, but kept looking at the picture. He smiled and traced it with his fingers. Carlos walked into the living room, then sat down on the armrest.

"How did it go?" Carlos asked.

"It was fine. We got to listen to the baby's heartbeat, and we got another picture to put on the fridge" Kendall said.

"Can I see?" Carlos asked.

Kendall handed Carlos the picture, and Carlos smiled. While Kendall chatted about the baby, I noticed James standing near the hallway. He looked sad, but also a little angry. I had no idea what was up with him now. And to be honest, I didn't really care.

Another pain hit, and I placed my hand over my stomach. I rubbed my baby bump gently, then the pain slowly diminished. I was hoping these pains were nothing serious, and that the baby was ok.

**A/N: Hi. sorry this chap was short and stupid. but its kinda giving you guys hints on what's gonna happen next. well sorta lol. the next two chaps after this r dramatic and u will see why tomorrow. i still feel really bad for Logan, and now he is having these weird pains. hmm? u guys will see what it is later. bye for now and i hope everyone liked the chap.**


	23. Chapter 23

**James POV**

While Logan and Kendall were at the doctors appointment, Carlos and I were left alone at the apartment. I actually wanted to go with them, but I knew Logan wouldn't let me. At first he said he wanted me in the baby's life, and now he was pushing me out of it again. I guess you could say that was my fault.

I messed up everything again by telling Logan that I was in love with Kendall. Logan didn't take the news that well, and now I feel like an asshole. I once again screwed up everything. Logan probably hates me right now, and I don't blame him.

He was going to hate me even more when he finds out I kissed Kendall. But I was going to make sure Logan never finds out. If he found out, he would probably hate me more then Kendall, and never let me near the baby.

It seemed like everything was getting worse, and I didn't know how to fix it. It just seemed impossible at this point.

Carlos and I were in our bedroom, sitting quietly on the bed. Carlos had suggested we play some video games to pass the time, but I didn't want to. I was so scared Logan would find out about my other secret. Kendall might just tell Logan that we kissed, but I was hoping Kendall never brought it up.

"What time do you think they'll be back?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know" I said.

"Are you ok? You seem a little sad or something" Carlos said.

"I just feel a little upset that I couldn't go. What if they get to see the baby? I wont be able to see it ever" I said.

"I'm sorry, buddy. Maybe Logan will calm down, and let you go next time" Carlos said.

"I doubt it. He hates me so much" I said.

Carlos sighed. "Just don't worry about it."

"Yeah. I wonder when he is going to tell Kendall that the baby is really mine" I said.

"Hmm I don't know. But he better do it soon, or else his lie is going to get worse, then Kendall will break up with him" Carlos said.

"Wait. That's it!"

"What's it?"

"If Kendall finds out that Logan lied to him, they'll breakup and then I'll get to be with Kendall" I said.

"James, I thought we weren't doing that anymore. Shouldn't Kendall find out for himself, then decide who he wants to be with?" Carlos asked.

"I guess, but what if he picks me? I cant wait for Kendall to find out the truth" I said.

"James, please don't tell him. Let Logan tell him" Carlos said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because if he hears if from you, he'll know you lied about it too and then he wont go with you" Carlos said.

"You're right. Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked.

"Just let Logan tell him" Carlos said.

I sighed. "Ok"

"Do you want to play some video games now?" Carlos asked.

"Nah. You go ahead" I said.

Carlos nodded, then left the room. I laid down on the bed, and closed my eyes.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"James. James wake up"

My eyes slowly fluttered opened, and I came face to face with Carlos.

"Hmm? What's going on?" I asked.

"You fell asleep" Carlos said.

"So you woke me up to tell me that?" I asked.

"Kinda, but Kendall and Logan are back" Carlos said.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"A couple of hours. Now c'mon, lets go see what happened" Carlos said.

"You go ahead. I'll be there in a minute" I said.

"Ok" Carlos said.

He stood up from my bed, and ran out of the room. I sat up and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I got out of bed, and walked over to the door. I stepped out into the hallway, and I could hear Carlos and Kendall talking about the baby. Kendall was talking about how he got to hear the baby's heartbeat. I poked my head out, and I could see Carlos holding a picture that Kendall let him see.

I felt jealous and angry. Kendall got to see and hear the baby, and it wasn't even his. It was my baby and Logan wont even let me be a part of anything. I was also a little upset that Logan was cuddled up next to Kendall. If Logan found out that Kendall and I kissed, they wouldn't be cuddled up like that.

I stepped out of the hallway, and leaned against the wall. Logan looked at me, and our eyes met. Instead of turning away like he usually does, he kept his eyes on mine. It almost seemed like he was trying to read me, but not having any luck. I wanted him so see that I was hurt, but he couldn't see that.

Logan looked away and placed a hand over his stomach. His face scrunched up in pain, and he rubbed his stomach slowly. I furrowed my brows and tried to figure out what was wrong with him. Of course I didn't know anything about pregnancy and babies, so I didn't know what was going on.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Kendall's voice. I turned my head in his direction, and saw him looking at the picture.

"Look at its little toes" he said.

"Yeah its really cute. Has it moved yet?" Carlos asked.

"Um I don't think so. The doctor didn't tell us that much" Kendall said.

"Hey Logan?" Carlos asked.

"What?" Logan asked.

"When the baby does move, can I feel it?" Carlos asked.

"I guess" Logan said.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe Logan was mad at Carlos too. He didn't do anything. Well except try and help me break up Logan and Kendall, but that nothing to get mad at, right? Logan really needed to grow up.

Logan let out a hiss and clutched his stomach. Kendall's head quickly snapped in Logan's direction.

"Logie, are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah I'm fine" Logan said.

He was obviously lying. I've been watching him, and he looks to be in pain. But of course Logan was stubborn, so he wont say anything unless he was spitting up blood.

"Just relax Logie. Its probably your body still adjusting for the baby" Kendall said.

"Yeah" Logan said.

Kendall placed his hand over Logan's stomach, and rubbed it gently. I was starting to get even more angry.

"Hey Logie?" Kendall asked.

"Hmm?" Logan asked.

"Do you think I'll be a good father?" Kendall asked.

Logan reached out and stroked Kendall's cheek. "You'll be a great father"

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was the father of that baby. Not Kendall. I should've been there to see my baby and hear its tiny little heartbeat. Kendall needed to know the truth, and he needed to know it now. I was tired of having to pretend that I wasn't the father. That was my baby, and I was going to make sure everyone knew that.

"That is it!" I yelled.

All my friends looked up at me, shocked expressions on their faces.

"James, are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"No I'm not ok. I'm sick of having to play along with Logan's lie" I said.

Kendall looked at Logan. "Logie, what is he talking about?"

"I….I don't know" Logan said.

"Bullshit! Tell him the truth, Logan. Or I will" I said.

"James don't" Logan said.

"No. I'm sick of having to watch Kendall act like the baby is his" I said.

"Logan, what is he talking about?" Kendall asked.

"He didn't tell you? I thought you guys told each other everything" I said.

"Logie, what are you not telling me?" Kendall asked.

Logan's eyes filled up with tears, and he looked down. He placed his hand over his stomach and rubbed it.

"I'm so sorry, Kenny" Logan said.

"For what?" Kendall asked.

"For lying to you. I'm so sorry" Logan said.

"Lying to me about what?" Kendall asked.

"The….…the baby" Logan said.

"W-what?" Kendall asked.

"He's been lying to you this whole time. The baby's actually mine" I said.

"L-Logie, is this true?" Kendall asked.

Logan sniffed and looked up at Kendall. "I'm so sorry"

Kendall turned away, and I knew he was trying his best not to cry.

"I'm sorry" Logan said.

"How could you lie to me? Especially about something like this" Kendall said.

"I'm sorry, Kenny. I was scared and I really needed someone" Logan said.

"You didn't have to lie. I would've been there for you" Kendall said.

"Please Kendall forgive me" Logan said.

"I cant Logie" Kendall said.

Logan grabbed Kendall's hand. "Please"

Kendall let go of Logan's hand, and stood up from the couch. He walked passed me, and went over to the front door.

"Kendall, don't go" Logan said.

Kendall ignored him, and walked out of the apartment. Logan covered his face with his hands and sobbed loudly. Carlos sat down next to Logan, and wrapped his arms around him. I turned away when Carlos gave me a disapproving look.

I didn't feel angry anymore, but guilty. I just ruined my best friends relationship. That was something I wanted, but now that it actually happened, I wasn't happy about it. I was just a huge screw up, and even Carlos thought so. I should've just listened to Carlos, but I didn't. I let my anger and jealousy take over, and now there was an even bigger mess.

Why couldn't all the drama go away? I wanted my old life back. The one where my friends were still my friends. Where we weren't fighting for love and attention. I wanted everything to be back to normal.

Everything was ruined, and it was all my fault. Everything was my fault, and I couldn't fix it. Nothing could be fixed.

**A/N: so now Kendall knows about the baby, and i feel bad for him. he was so excited about becoming a father. stupid James for saying tht, but i understand why he did. anyway the next chap will be Kendall's thoughts about everything. lets just say hes not happy. i will update either later today or tomorrow. bye =D**


	24. Chapter 24

**Kendall's POV**

I walked out of the apartment, and I could feel my eyes stinging. I tried my best not to let my tears fall, even if I wanted them to. I couldn't believe he lied to me. My Logie lied to me.

The baby wasn't really mine, it was all a huge lie. James was actually the father, and no one even bothered to tell me the truth. I didn't find all this out until today, and this lie has been going on for a while.

Why didn't anyone tell me? I felt so stupid for believing the baby was mine. I had gotten attached to the little life growing inside of Logan, but it wasn't even mine. I had no part in the baby's life. I wasn't needed at all.

It also hurt that Logan would lie to be about something like this. It made me wonder what else he was keeping from me. What other things was he lying about? Did he still love James? Did him and James even really date? I bet all of that had been an act. If James was madly in love with me, then he wouldn't have gone out with Logan. Both of them lied to me about that too.

I couldn't believe my best friends would lie to me. Well except for Carlos. I think. I don't know if Carlos lied to me, but he did know about everything that was going on, and didn't even tell me. That's just as bad as lying.

I trusted Logan. I loved and respected him, but I guess he didn't care about me. If he loved me as much as he said he does, then he wouldn't have lied to me. Even if the baby wasn't mine, I was still going to be there for him. But right now, I didn't want to be there for Logan. James could do it. James was in fact the father of Logan's baby. Logan doesn't need me at all.

I stopped walking when I realized I was in Palm Woods park. I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't even realize I walked over here. I sat down on a bench under a tree, and covered my face with my hands.

I could feel my eyes continue to burn, so I let the tears fall. I didn't care if I was crying in public. There was no one around to see me cry anyway. And even if there was people around, I wouldn't care if they saw me. If they were in my position, they would probably cry too.

I just lost something very important to me, and it wasn't even mine to begin with. I loved that baby so much, and now it was taken away from me. I was going to teach it how to play hockey, so we could play together. But those plans were all ruined now. Instead that baby was going to grow up as a stuck up jerk with great hair.

Well I hope Logan's happy. He just hurt the one person that said they would be there for him. I was going to be there for him no matter what, but now I wasn't needed. I just hope James will step up and be there for Logan and the baby, because I sure as hell wont. I already tried to be there, but it was a waste of time.

"Kendall, are you ok?"

Oh god I knew that voice. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone, especially her. How was I going to tell Jo that I left her for nothing? I mean I didn't really love her, but I still hurt her feelings by leaving her for Logan. I guess I should just talk to her. It might make me feel a little better.

I looked up. "Hey"

Jo sat down next to me, and placed her hand on my thigh.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Logan and I broke up" I said.

Jo gasped. "You did?"

"No, but I'm thinking about it. He lied to me" I said.

"About what?" Jo asked.

"The baby. James told me that he was the father. Logan lied to me about everything" I said.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry. I knew you were excited about becoming a father" Jo said.

"I was more then excited, Jo. And when I saw it and listened to its little heartbeat, I knew all of this was real." I said.

"Are you sure its not yours?" Jo asked.

"I'm sure. Logan and James did mess around a few months ago" I said.

Jo wrapped me in a hug. "I'm so sorry, but I promise I'm here for you"

"I wanted that baby so much" I said.

"I know, I know" Jo said.

"What am I going to do?" I asked.

"Still be there for Logan" Jo said.

I pulled away. "I cant"

"Why?" Jo asked.

"Because he lied to me. I don't think I cant trust him" I said.

"So your just going to leave him scared and alone with a baby. That's not something Kendall would do" Jo said.

"Well maybe that Kendall is tired of being lied to" I said.

"Kendall, you cant do this to Logan. I know you still love him" Jo said.

"But I cant be with him. I mean I want to, but I don't think I can when he is carrying James' baby. I just cant be with Logan anymore" I said.

Jo sighed. "If that's your decision, then I'm not going to stop you. But at least still be Logan's friend."

"I can do that, but a romantic relationship wont happen. I need to forget about him, and just move on" I said.

"Ok. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me" Jo said.

I nodded. "Ok"

Jo have me a peck on the cheek, then stood up from the bench. She gave me a small smile, then walked away. I still stayed where I was, thinking about everything.

I couldn't be with Logan anymore. I needed to be single for a while, then maybe all the drama will go way. Of course I don't know if that's true. Logan and James had to work things out, and James needs to stop loving me.

I don't think I could be with James either. He was just as bad as Logan, and I didn't want to be with someone who lies to me. I want to be with someone who will love and respect me. And I thought that person was Logan, but I was wrong. Logan wasn't my soul mate like I thought, I was just blinded by love.

Now that I know the real Logan, I don't want him. And I was going to tell him that. It was going to be hard to get over him, but I have to. I don't want to risk getting hurt again.

I stood up from the bench, and left the park. I needed to tell Logan that we were over. And for good this time.

**A/N: Hi. im so sorry this chap was short. the next one will be longer. and i cant wait for you to see what Logan does. its such a stupid move, but i had to make him do it. i cant wait to put that chap up. i already have three chaps written, so then all i have to do is type them. i might post my other chap later to make up for this short one. anywho bye for now. =D**


	25. Chapter 25

**Logan's POV**

"Why James? Why?"

"I'm sorry Logan"

"Now he hates me. Why did you tell him? It wasn't your job to" I said.

"Logan I'm sorry, but he needed to know the truth" James said.

"But I was going to tell him. I didn't need you coming in here and ruining my plan" I said.

"And what plan was that, Logan? Wait till the kid pops out and Kendall realizes it doesn't look like him?" James asked.

"I hate you so much" I said.

"Why do you hate me? I was only doing you a favor. You should at least be thankful" James said.

"And why would I be thankful? All you did was ruin everything for Kendall and I. If I wasn't having _your _baby, then there would be no drama" I said.

"So you're blaming all of this on me?" James asked.

"Well I'm not blaming anyone else for this mess" I said.

"God Logan did you ever think that maybe you're to blame? You're the one who wanted to have a fake relationship with me. And you're the one who kissed and slept with me because you were so confused about your feelings. Its your fault, Logan. Not mine, not Carlos's. Its yours." James said.

"So I made a few mistakes, but at least I admit that I did wrong. You just hide everything and blame it on other people. Man up James. Because if you want anything to do with this baby, you'll have to grow up first. You're obviously not ready for this baby. So until you are, you're not allowed to be a part of its life." I said.

"You cant keep me away from my baby" James said.

"Watch me" I said.

I headed towards my bedroom, but James grabbed my shoulder.

"Let me go!" I yelled.

"You cant keep me away, Logan. I'm trying to be here for you and the baby, but you keep pushing me away." James said.

"I don't need you" I said.

"Yes you do. Now that Kendall's out of the picture, you're gonna need someone. And that persons me" James said.

"Really? You're going to be here for me?"

"Yes"

"Then where the fuck were you when I really needed you? I needed all of my friends, but not one of you cared enough to help me." I said.

"I'm sorry Logan" Carlos said.

I looked over at Carlos, and my heart nearly shattered. Carlos had tears running down his face, and his bottom lip quivered. I felt like such a jerk for making him cry.

"Carlos, what you did was wrong, and I don't know if I can trust you. But I know you are sincerely sorry, so I forgive you. But its going to take a while for me to trust you again." I said.

"I'm really sorry, Logan. I never meant to hurt you" Carlos said.

"Its ok Carlos. I forgive you" I said.

"So you're going to forgive Carlos that easily, but not me?" James said.

"How can I forgive you? You always say you're sorry, but you don't mean it. I at least know Carlos's apology has some meaning behind it. Apologize when you actually mean it" I said.

"Logan, you cant kick me out of your life and the baby's. You both need me." James said.

"I don't need you for anything. I have Kendall" I said.

"Logan, he's gone and never coming back for you. You lied to him. How could he possibly want you back?" James asked.

"Kendall actually love me, James" I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" James asked.

"It means that he'll never love you. How could he? You're just an asshole who only cares about yourself. I don't know why you thought you had a chance with him. Its obvious he doesn't love you back, so move on James" I said.

James clutched his hands into fists, and I could see the anger in his eyes. I knew I made him upset, but I didn't care. He needed to know that the truth hurts. He raised his fist, ready to hit me.

"Stop!" Carlos yelled.

James stopped, and looked over at Carlos. Carlos had more tears running down his face, and he was shaking. James sighed and let his hands fall to his side. I let out a cry and doubled over when a sharp pain hit my stomach.

"James!" Carlos cried.

"I swear I didn't touch him" James said.

Carlos ran over to me and rubbed my back soothingly.

"Logan are you ok? What happened?" he asked.

"Its nothing," I breathed. "I just need to lay down."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Carlos asked.

I nodded. "Yeah"

James scooped me up in his arms, and carried me to my room. If I wasn't in pain, I would been screaming and kicking. James took me in my room, and gently laid me down on my bed.

"Better?" he asked.

I rolled over to face the wall. "Leave me alone"

James sighed, then left the room. Once I heard the door close, I rolled over onto my back. I placed my hand over my stomach and rubbed it.

"What's up with you?" I asked my belly.

I groaned when another sharp pain hit. It felt like I was having more of those stomach cramps. I clutched my stomach, and tossed and turned. I thought for sure these would've gone away by now

I looked up when I heard the door open. I was expecting to see James, but instead it was….

"Kendall!" I said.

He closed the door behind him, then walked over to me. He sat down on the bed, and I wrapped him in a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Kenny. I swear I never meant to hurt you." I said.

I let go of him when I realized he wasn't hugging me back.

"Kenny?"

"We need to talk, Logie"

"About what?" I asked.

"About us. We cant be together anymore. I cant be with you" Kendall said.

"No you don't mean that" I said.

"Logan, we just cant. There's too much drama and stress, and you're having a baby with James. We just cant be together anymore." Kendall said.

"No please. I really need you and…"

"Then you wouldn't have lied to me."

"Please Kenny, I cant do this on my own" I said.

"You wont be alone. You still have James, and I'll be here for you, but only as a friend" Kendall said.

"But I love you more then a friend. I need my boyfriend." I said.

"I cant be your boyfriend, Logan. I can only be your friend" Kendall said.

"Please"

"Logie, I cant. You're having a baby with James, and I don't really fit in the picture."

"I don't even want this baby" I said.

"Yes you do, Logan. You love this baby" Kendall said.

"But I love you more. I would rather have you then this thing." I said.

"Logan, I know you care about the baby. You cant say you don't want it when you really do." Kendall said.

"But look what its done. Its caused us to break up and ruin everything else." I said.

"It wasn't the baby's fault, Logan"

"What do you mean?"

"You're to blame. Both you and James are" Kendall said.

"I'm so sorry, Kenny." I said.

"I forgive you, but I cant be with you." Kendall said.

I could feel tears running down my face, and I choked out a sob. Kendall wrapped his arms around me, and I rested me head on his shoulder.

"I still love you, Logie" he said.

"No you don't. If you did love me, then you would forgive me for my mistakes. What happened to love conquers all?" I asked.

"Logie, I…"

"Just leave me alone."

I pushed Kendall off me, then ran into the bathroom. I shut the door and locked it. Kendall started pounding on the door, and trying to open it.

"Logie, please don't do anything. Please don't hurt yourself." Kendall said.

"Why? Its not like you care anyway" I said.

"Please Logie"

I ignored Kendall, and started going through the cabinets. I knew I had hidden a knife in here when I used to fight with Kendall, and I was going to find it.

If Kendall didn't love me, then there was no point in living. My whole world revolves around him, and now he doesn't even want me. I needed Kendall, but since he doesn't want me, I don't need to be here.

I looked down at my stomach, and more tears slipped. I didn't even want this baby, so why was I given it in the first place? How could I possibly raise it on my own?

If both the baby and I were gone, all of the drama would disappear. And that was something everyone wanted. It was my fault all this happened. Kendall even said it was me. I wasn't needed here, and neither was my baby.

I found the knife, and looked at it. This was going to be the object that takes me and my unborn child off this earth.

"Logan, please open the door. Don't hurt yourself and the baby. Please Logie don't" Kendall said.

More tears ran down my face, and I let out a sob. I positioned the knife at my stomach, and closed my eyes. Right as the blade was going to pierce my skin, an intense pain hit. I dropped the knife and let out a cry.

"Logan!" Kendall screamed.

I held onto the counter, and took some deep breaths. Another pain hit, then I felt something running down my legs. Drops of blood started to appear on the floor. Kendall finally busted open the door, and his eyes widened.

"L-Logie?"

"Kendall, call 911"

**A/N: I told you Logan was going to do something stupid. but dont worry you will see what happens to him and the baby in the next chap. so before u guys freak out, i swear nothing _that_ bad happens. anyway bye for now and i hope you guys liked this chap. =D**


	26. Chapter 26

**James POV**

"I cant believe you tried to hit him."

"Carlos, I said I didn't mean to. He just pissed me off and…"

"That's no excuse, James. You could've hurt the baby." Carlos said.

"I know, I know." I said.

"I thought you wanted the baby? That's what you told Logan" Carlos said.

"I do want it" I said.

"Then why did you try to hit him?" Carlos asked.

"Can we not get into this? He's fine now, and I wont do it again" I said.

"You better not"

"Carlos, just…"

I stopped talking when the door to the apartment opened. Kendall walked in, and I knew he had been crying. His eyes were red and he still had tear stains on his cheeks. He completely ignored us, and went to his room. He closed the door, and I could soon hear him talking to Logan, but I couldn't make out the words.

"I bet they're gonna break up." Carlos said.

"Yeah" I said.

"See what you did, James."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You told Kendall everything when I told you not to, you tried to hurt Logan and the baby, and now you broke our friends up." Carlos said.

"It wasn't my fault. I was just tired of having to lie about my baby" I said.

"James, you are really starting to bug me. Logan was right, you do blame everyone but yourself." Carlos said.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"Don't tell it to me. Tell it to Logan and Kendall. Those are the people you really hurt." Carlos said.

I was about to open my mouth to say something, but stopped when I heard a door open. Kendall came into the living room with an unconscious Logan in his arms.

"Oh my god what happened?" I asked.

"I-I don't know. He…there….blood" Kendall said.

"Kendall, calm down. What happened?" I asked.

"He hurt himself"

"How?"

"With a knife. I couldn't get to him on time and….and its all my fault." Kendall sobbed.

"I'll call 911" I said.

Kendall nodded, and gently laid Logan on the couch. I pulled out my cell phone, and quickly called for help. While I explained to the operator what was going on, Kendall tried to wake Logan up. Logan stirred a few times, but never full woke up. Carlos was sitting with Kendall, and trying to calm him down.

"An ambulance is on the way" I said.

"Its all my fault. Its all my fault" Kendall said.

"Kendall, just calm down. Logan's going to be fine" I said.

Kendall covered his face with his hands, and started sobbing. Carlos rubbed his back soothingly, but it wasn't helping. I ran into the bathroom to get some towels for Kendall to clean up with. His hands were covered completely with Logan's blood. When I ran into the bathroom, I could see a knife and blood. I grabbed a towel, and went back into the living room. Kendall took the towel, and wiped the blood off his hands.

I sat down next to Logan, and rubbed his forehead. He still didn't wake up, and I got even more worried. It was all my fault Logan did this to himself. I was the one who treated him bad and caused him to do this. If he doesn't make it out of this, I will never forgive myself.

The ambulance arrived, and the paramedics placed Logan on a stretcher. They placed him in the ambulance, and drove off immediately. Carlos, Kendall and I quickly jumped in our car, and followed the ambulance.

I sat nervously in the waiting room. Carlos was sitting next to me, and Kendall was pacing the area, chewing his nails. We've been here for over two hours, and we still haven't heard anything on Logan or the baby. I was so worried and scared. I swear I would never forgive myself if something happened to them.

I don't know how all of this happened. I remember Logan and I talking, then he went to his room. It was right after Kendall came home that all this happened. Maybe it was Kendall who made Logan do this. That was probably why he was freaking out more then Carlos and I.

I knew something had been wrong with Logan, but I wasn't sure what. He looked to be in a great deal of pain all day. Even Kendall said that Logan was complaining about his stomach. I guess we didn't think much of it, but we should've. Logan should've known something was wrong with him. It was his body, and if he was in pain, he could've told us about it.

Kendall continued to pace the room, still chewing on his nails. My eyes were darting back and forth, following Kendall's movements. After a while, it started to give me a headache. Kendall seemed really scared, probably more scared then Carlos and I were. I knew Kendall really loved Logan, so to see him in the hospital made Kendall a nervous wreck.

Carlos was sitting quietly, playing with his thumbs. He looked just as worried and scared. I even saw a few tears running down his face. I had felt like crying, but I held it back. Logan was going to be ok, I just knew it. Well I was praying his was.

"Kendall, just relax and sit down" I said.

"Relax? I cant relax, James. Logan is….is probably hurting and scared. Did you see all the blood?" Kendall asked.

How could I have not. It was all over the bathroom. It wasn't much, but just enough to make you worry. When Kendall had entered the living room with an unconscious Logan, my heart nearly stopped. As soon as I saw my best friend like that, I felt guilty. It was my fault this happened to him. If I would've been more supportive towards him, he wouldn't have done this.

"So much blood. So much blood." Kendall muttered.

"Kendall, please sit down. I promise everything is going to be ok." I said.

Kendall sat down next to me, and covered his face with his hands.

"This is all my fault." he said.

"No its not, Kendall. Logan is just going through a lot right now." I said.

"Yeah because of me. I broke up with him, and it made him lose it. He tried to kill himself, James." Kendall said.

"He did?" I asked.

"Yeah, didn't you see the knife? He was trying to hurt himself and the baby. That's why he's hurt. He did this to himself." Kendall said.

"I didn't think he would do something like that. Especially to his own baby." I said.

"Well he did. He didn't even want the baby, and now he probably succeeded in getting rid of it." Kendall sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around Kendall. "Shh its ok. Logan and the baby are going to be fine."

"How do you know? What if the doctors cant save him?" Kendall asked.

"Don't worry. Everything is going to be ok. Logan and the baby are going to be ok." I said.

"Why would he do this? Doesn't he know that we love and care about him? What possessed him to do this?" Kendall asked.

"Probably me. Its all my fault Logan lost it." I said.

"What did you do?" Kendall asked.

I sighed. "I told him that the baby wasn't mine, and for him to kill it. And now he almost did."

"You told him that? Why would you do that? Don't you care about your baby? Logan thinks no one wanted him or the baby, and now I see why. No wonder he's not happy with you." Kendall said.

"I'm pretty sure he hates me. I hate myself for doing all of those things." I said.

"James, he doesn't hate you. He's just scared, and he feels so alone." Kendall said.

"Yeah I know. But I still hate myself for doing that"

"Why did you?"

"Because I was afraid if I had a baby with Logan, that you would hate me." I said.

"Well to be honest, I'm upset that Logan's carrying your baby instead of mine." Kendall said.

"I'm sorry Kendall. Maybe you could be the baby's father and…"

"No James. I may have had the baby taken away from me, but I'm not going to take it away from you." Kendall said.

"But I'm not even ready to be a father. I don't know the first thing about parenting." I said.

"You'll learn, and plus you have Logan. He knows a lot of things." Kendall said.

"Yeah. I'm still really sorry though." I said.

"Its ok I guess. I mean it will be hard to forget, but I'll live." Kendall said.

I sighed. "I hope so"

"Right now the only thing that matters is Logan. Lets just forget about everything else for a minute, and just focus on him." Kendall said.

"Do you really think he'll be ok?" Carlos asked.

"I think so. Logan may be small and fragile, but he has a strong side too." Kendall said.

"Logan Mitchell?"

We looked up to see a doctor standing by the receptionist desk. Kendall quickly stood up and ran over to him, Carlos and I right behind.

"How is he?" Kendall asked.

"He's doing much better." the doctor said.

We all sighed in relief at those words. I just knew Logan was ok.

"But I'm afraid I have some bad news" the doctor said.

"B-bad news?" Kendall asked.

Carlos clung to me, and I rubbed his back soothingly. I could feel tears approaching as I feared the worst.

"Please tell me the baby's ok" I said.

"The baby's fine, but Logan almost lost it." the doctor said.

"How? He seemed fine a few hours ago" Kendall said.

"Logan's body is having some difficulty carrying the baby. His body isn't strong enough to carry it to full term." the doctor said.

"What do you mean he wont be able to carry it?" Kendall asked.

"Since Logan's body isn't strong enough, he has a high risk of a miscarriage. He was lucky this time, but I don't think he will be able to carry the baby much longer. He is also under a great deal of stress. That also caused him to almost miscarry." the doctor said.

"Is there anything you could give him to make him stronger?" I asked.

"I can give him some vitamins, but that all I can do. I'm sorry" the doctor said.

"Can we see him?" Kendall asked.

The doctor nodded, and led us down the hall towards Logan's room. We quietly walked in and Logan looked up at us. Carlos was the first to run up to him.

"Are you ok buddy?" Carlos asked.

"I'm doing a little better" Logan said.

Kendall walked up to Logan, and gave him a hug. "I'm so glad you're ok. I was so scared."

"Me too." Logan said.

Kendall pulled away, and I slowly walked up to Logan.

"Logan, I'm…"

"Can we talk, James?" he asked.

I looked over at Carlos and Kendall. They got the hint, and left the room. I sat down on the bed next to Logan.

"James, I'm so sorry"

"No Logan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all those horrible things to you. I swear I want to be here for you and the baby."

"You do? But I thought you didn't want it" Logan said.

"No Logan I do. When I found out something bad happened, I was freaking out. I want that little human being growing inside of you. Its something we created." I said.

"But the doctor told me I could lose the baby. My body cant handle it all. I don't want to lose the baby, James. I don't." Logan said.

"You wont ok. We were given this baby for a reason. We're not going to lose it." I said.

"I hope you're right. I was starting to get attached to it. I don't want to lose it." Logan said.

"You wont, Logan" I said.

Logan pulled me into a hug. "Thank you for stepping up. I was afraid I was going to have to do this on my own."

"I'm here Logan, and I'm never going to leave you or our baby." I said.

"Thank you so much, James. I'm glad I could finally hear you say those words." Logan said.

"And I mean it, Logan. I'm never going to leave you alone again." I said.

Logan nodded. "Ok"

We pulled apart and I scooted closer to Logan. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around him. I went to place my hand over his stomach, but I quickly pulled away. Logan grabbed my hand, and put it over his belly.

"Its ok, James. Its your baby too." he said.

I smiled and rubbed small circles over Logan's stomach. I just loved the way the little bump felt underneath my hand. His skin was so soft and smooth, and I loved the feeling of it. I couldn't wait to be able to feel the baby kick. That was going to be really exciting.

I'm so glad I finally decided to step up and be there for Logan and the baby. If I never did, I would be missing out on the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

**A/N: So yeah James finally decided to stop being stupid and be there for Logan. FINALLY! LOL anyway i will update later today. the next chapter is sorta like this one, but instead Logan and Kendall have a little talk. and i guess Logan being able to not carry the baby makes the story have more drama, i think. idk. anyway bye for now =D**


	27. Chapter 27

**Kendall's POV**

Carlos and I went back into the waiting room to give Logan and James some privacy. I was really curious on what they were talking about. I knew it was none of my business, but I still wanted to know.

A few thoughts did come to mind though. Maybe Logan was telling James about the baby. But why would he when James already knows? Maybe Logan was asking James to be there for him and the baby. Yeah, that had to be it. Or maybe James and Logan were going to try and be together, but for real this time.

No, no, no. They couldn't be together. I didn't want them to. I still had very strong feelings for Logan. But I did break up with him, so I understand why Logan would rather be with the father of his baby.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know." I said.

"Do you think its about us?" Carlos asked.

"No of course not. They're probably talking about the baby." I said.

"Ok good" Carlos said.

"Carlos?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I…nah never mind" I said.

"Do I think what? Tell me" Carlos said.

"Do you think I should've given James a chance?" I asked.

"Um I guess you could've. It was really mean of you to just reject him like that. Did you want to?" Carlos asked.

I sighed. "I don't know. I still love and care for Logan, but I have to let him go."

"Then go with James. He really loves you, Kendall" Carlos said.

"I know, but I don't think I love him." I said.

"Just give him a chance. Who knows, you might actually fall for him." Carlos said.

"But what about Logan? Where does he fit into this? I don't want to leave him alone and heartbroken with a baby." I said.

"I don't know. None of this should've happened" Carlos said.

"Yeah, but it did, and there's nothing we can do about it" I said.

Carlos placed his hand on my shoulder. "Its ok buddy. You'll get through this"

"I hope so, Carlos. I hope so" I said.

We both looked up when James walked up us. I quickly jumped to my feet.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"He's doing good, but he wants to talk to you" James said.

"About what?"

"He didn't tell me"

I left the waiting room, and walked down the hall towards the room Logan was in. I took a deep breath, then knocked. I slowly opened the door, and walked inside. Logan looked up at me, and I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I asked.

"Sit down" he said.

I closed the door behind me, then sat down next to Logan.

"Kendall, I know you don't want me anymore, and probably don't want to be here for me, but could you?" Logan asked.

"Did James not want to be here for you?" I asked.

"No he does, but I would really appreciate it if you were here for me too. Even though you're not my boyfriend anymore, you're still my friend, and I want all my friends here for me. It seemed like before, you guys didn't care about me. I felt so alone and scared. So please, can you be here for me? I really need my friends." Logan said.

"Of course I'll be here for you" I said.

"Really? Even after everything I've done to you?" Logan asked.

I sighed. "Logie, I lied to you too"

"You did? About what?"

"About James"

"What about him?" Logan asked.

"I…..I kissed him. Well he kissed me, but I kissed him back. I don't know why I did it, but I'm sorry" I said.

"Why Kendall? Why would you do that? I thought you loved me" Logan said.

"I do Logie, but you hurt me too" I said.

"So you kissed James to get back at me?" Logan asked.

"No. We kissed when you and I were still together. I'm so sorry, Logie" I said.

"Get out"

"Logan please I'm sorry. I know this isn't something who want to hear, especially in your current state, but I wanted to be honest with you. Can you please be honest with me? I know there is something else you're not telling me" I said.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Logan said.

"Yes you do. Did you really date James? Or was of that an act?" I asked.

Logan looked down and played with his hands. I got my answer.

"Logie?"

"I didn't date him for real. I thought if you saw me with someone else, that you would go back with me." Logan said.

"Do you know how hurt I was when I saw you two together? I thought you didn't love me anymore. And then I found out you slept with James and…."

"That wasn't an act"

"What?" I asked.

Logan sighed. "I didn't sleep with James to hurt you, but because I was falling in love with him."

"You were?"

"I thought I was in love with him. When you told me you were in love with Jo, I was heartbroken. So I kissed James and that led to other things, and now this."

"Do you still love him?" I asked.

"No I love you. I want to be with you, Kendall" Logan said.

"I want to be with you too, but I cant. You hurt me, Logie, and I don't think I'm ready to forgive you just yet. I understand why you did it, but you still lied. Maybe I'll give you another chance when I can trust you again. But for right now, we cant be together." I said.

"I'm so sorry I fucked everything up. This is all my fault" Logan said.

"Logan, this is all of our fault. Please don't just blame yourself" I said.

"But I got pregnant" Logan said.

"Just think of this as a good thing" I said.

"How is this a good thing? Our lives aren't normal anymore" Logan said.

"Logie, were our lives really all that normal to begin with?"

"No I guess not"

"Just think of the baby as our newest member of Big Time Rush" I said.

"Ok" Logan said.

"Just don't worry, Logie. I don't want you stressing out over this" I said.

Logan nodded. "Ok"

I crawled over to Logan's side, and wrapped my arm around him. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I kissed the top of his head.

"Why?"

Logan looked up at me. "Why what?"

"Why did you try to hurt yourself and the baby?" I asked.

"Because I didn't want it. I thought if both the baby and I were out of the picture, that all of the drama would go away." Logan said.

"Logie, you can never leave us. Without you there is no BTR, and our little group would never be the same. We need both you and the baby." I said.

"But I don't want it" Logan said.

"You don't? why?" I asked.

"I'm not ready for this. My body cant even handle it, so why should I put it through so much with something I don't even want?" Logan asked.

"Logie, I know you want this baby"

"But I don't. You all think I do, but I don't really want it. I'm already getting attached, but I cant keep it. I don't want it, but I'm afraid I'll lose it. I dont even know what I want anymore."

"Logan, you're not going to lose the baby, and I know you want it. I know you're not ready, but we're here for you. We'll never leave you alone again." I said.

"Please don't. I hated being alone. I felt so unloved and unwanted." Logan said.

"We wont do that. And we do love and want you." I said.

"Even the baby?"

"Even the baby"

Logan held onto me tighter. "I'm so scared"

"Its ok to be scared, Logie. Having a baby is scary, but all your friends are here for you." I said.

"I love you Kenny" Logan said.

I nodded and kissed the top of Logan's head. I rocked him gently in my arms, and he started to drift off to sleep. In a matter of minutes, Logan was out and snoring softly.

I didn't know if this was the end of all the drama, or if there was more on the way. I was hoping everything was back to normal. Or whatever normal was to us.

**A/N: The drama is not over yet. everything will seem fine at first, but nothings over. i still feel bad for Logan and Kendall. but things will work out for them in the end. i love Kogan so much, so i wll have more of it later. =D**


	28. Chapter 28

**Logan's POV**

After a few days, I was finally released from the hospital. The doctor made sure to explain to me how I almost miscarried. Apparently my body isn't strong enough to carry the baby. It also didn't help that I was under a lot of stress. The doctor gave me some vitamins that might help make my body stronger, and he also told me to take it easy and to not stress out over things. I was really stressed out, and I knew who to blame.

Kendall and James have done nothing but hurt and stress me out. I almost lost the baby because of them. They were the ones causing me so much stress, and now look what happened. I almost lost the baby. The doctor told me male pregnancy was very dangerous, so it doesn't help when people are making it worse.

I felt absolutely horrible for trying to kill myself and the baby. I almost took away an innocent life because I was upset. That's no excuse to murder someone, especially when that someone is your own baby.

I know I said I didn't want it, and that it ruined everything, but when I almost lost the baby, everything changed. At first I wasn't sure what I wanted, but now I'm sure I want this baby. I wanted it more then anything. It was my responsibility to care for it, and right now, I wasn't doing a very great job. I needed to be a better parent, and care for my baby. It was up to me to make sure it was safe and cared for, and that's exactly what I was going to do.

I was glad James stepped up and decided to be here for me and the baby. I was tired of being left alone, but now I wasn't alone anymore. I had someone that could help me out with this whole thing.

I still wanted Kendall back, but he was right. We couldn't be together. Maybe we could try again once all of our shit gets straightened out, but until then, Kendall and I needed to stay separated. He was still there for me as a friend, so that was better then nothing.

It almost seemed like everything was getting back to normal, but I knew it wasn't completely over. James still loved Kendall, and that bothered me. I didn't know how I would feel if they ever got together. I would probably be heartbroken and depressed. But at least I would have a beautiful baby to cheer me up. I was hoping James and Kendall never got together. I just wont be able to handle it.

The more I thought about the baby, the more I got scared. I couldn't do this. I wasn't alone anymore, but I was still terrified. I cant have a baby. I just cant. Adoption has found its way into my head more then once, and that was definitely an option I would consider. I know I said I wanted the baby, but I wasn't ready. A baby will change everything, and I don't think my friends were ready for change. I have to tell James about this, but I'm scared. He really wants this baby, and I'm taking it away from him…again. I will just try and tell him soon.

I was a little surprised at how fast my pregnancy was progressing. I had just entered my fourth month a few weeks ago, and I didn't like it. My stomach grew a little more, and I absolutely hated it. I never really liked how my body looked before, but now I couldn't even look at myself. It was still pretty easy to hide my baby bump, but only if I wore baggy shirts. Which I borrowed from Kendall or James. Even though you couldn't see the bump, you could definitely tell something was different about me.

"I don't want to go" I whined.

"Logan, Gustavo wants us at the studio. Now c'mon." Kendall said.

I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. No one was getting me off this couch. No one.

"Logan, seriously we have to go. Do you want Gustavo to yell?" Kendall asked.

"Do you want me to lose the baby? Because that will happen if I go to work" I said.

"Gustavo said that we are just working on a couple of songs. I'm pretty sure that wont cause you to miscarry. Now lets go." Kendall said.

I groaned. "Fine"

I let out a small whimper as I tried to push myself off the orange couch. Kendall carefully helped me up, and I smiled at him.

"Ok lets go" James said as he grabbed the keys to the Big Time Rush mobile.

We left the apartment, and climbed into the car. James sat in the front seat, Kendall rode shotgun, and I was stuck in the back with Carlos. Once again I was pouting.

"Why cant I sit up front?" I asked.

"Because you're pregnant, and its safer for you back there." James said.

"Not really. This car isn't safe for the baby." I said.

"Then we'll get a new one." Kendall said.

"No!" James and Carlos said.

"Guys we're either gonna have to get rid of this one, or get another one." Kendall said.

"Lets just get another one." James said.

"I hate being pregnant. I cant do anything anymore." I said.

"Aw Logan it cant be that bad." Carlos said.

"Yes it is. I've gained a lot of weight and I look like a whale." I said.

"No you don't" Carlos said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. You look like a baby whale." Carlos said.

"Carlos!" James and Kendall yelled.

"Sorry" Carlos whispered.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from my crazy friend. Baby whale my ass. Carlos was just delusional. I had a feeling those crazy moods swings were on the way.

We finally arrived at Rocque Records, and I felt really nervous. What if Gustavo and Kelly finds out I'm pregnant? I had a feeling Kelly would be supportive, but Gustavo wouldn't. He wasn't even supportive when Kendall and I were going out. How was he going to act when he finds out I'm having a baby?

And not just any baby, but a mini James. Oh god a mini James. One James was quite enough thank you, but I was bringing another one into the world. Gustavo was really going to hate me.

I kept tugging on my shirt as we reached the studio. James grabbed my hands, and I looked up at him.

"Just relax, Logan. Gustavo isn't going to notice." he said.

"But what if he does?" I asked.

"He wont." James said.

I nodded. "Ok"

"Dogs! Sound booth. Now!" Gustavo said.

I gulped, and stepped into the sound booth with my friends. The music for Rule the World came on. During the middle of the song, I felt some slight pressure in my stomach. I ignored it, and continued singing. I felt it again, but this time it felt like a kick. The baby was moving. He or she must like the music. Or hated it. I was hoping the baby liked the sound of our voices.

I felt the baby move again, and I stopped singing. I grabbed James's hand, causing him to stop singing as well. The music shut off, and I knew Gustavo was going to yell.

"Logan, what's going on?" James asked.

"You don't feel that?" I asked.

"I don't feel anything" James said.

I felt the baby kick my side, and I moved James' hand there. His face lit up when he felt his baby moving.

"I feel it. I feel it." James said.

"Feel what?" Carlos asked.

"The baby's kicking" I said.

Carlos pushed James out of the way, and put his hand over my stomach. Carlos let out a gasp when he felt the baby push against his hand.

"That's so awesome!" Carlos said.

"Can….can I feel?" Kendall asked.

I nodded, and Kendall placed his hand over my baby bump. Kendall's face fell when the baby stopped moving. He sighed and pulled away.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"Its ok" Kendall said.

"Dogs! What's so special about Logan's stomach?" Gustavo asked.

"There's a baby in there" Carlos said.

"Carlos!" we yelled.

"Whoops. Sorry" Carlos said.

"Baby? What are you guys talking about?" Kelly asked.

I sighed. "I need to tell you both something."

We stepped out of the sound booth, and walked into the lounge. Everyone sat down on the couches except for James and I.

"Wow…um…..how do I even begin? I'm….uh…..you know…..um….."

"Just spit it out already" Gustavo said.

"I'm pregnant!" I blurted out.

I quickly cupped my mouth as soon as the words came out. I looked at Gustavo and Kelly for a minute, to see what their reaction was. They both looked shocked and they had their mouths hanging open.

"H-how are you…pregnant? Guys don't have babies." Kelly said.

"Well I can. I don't really want to get into details. Look I know its weird and might take some getting used to, but….yeah." I said.

Kelly smiled. "I'm happy for you"

"Thank you" I said.

James wrapped an arm around me, and smiled at Kelly.

"Thanks" he said.

"Wait you're the father? But I thought it was Kendall" Kelly said.

"Surprise" I said.

"Oh well… I'm still happy for you. Congratulations" Kelly said.

I smiled. "Thanks"

"There will be no congratulations or how cute Logan's having a baby. You're not keeping it" Gustavo said.

"What?" I asked.

"You're. Not. Keeping. It." Gustavo said.

"I'm not killing it" I said.

"Then fine. Give it up or something. I don't care." Gustavo said.

"Ok" I aid.

"What!" James, Kendall and Carlos said.

"Guys, I cant keep this baby. I'm too young and I still want to go to med school. A baby will just get in the way." I said.

"But I thought you wanted it? That's what you told me." James said.

"Well I thought about it, and we're not ready. What about your dream, James? I know you would rather have that then a baby." I said.

"But I wanted a mini me." James said.

"I didn't" Gustavo muttered.

I sighed. "James, we cant. We're not ready for this kind of responsibility. Adoption is the best option we have."

"Whatever" James said.

James walked away, and I sighed. I could feel myself getting stressed out, so I took a few deep breaths.

I knew James wanted the baby, but we weren't ready. We were just kids ourselves. How could we possibly raise one? Adoption would be better for the baby. It would have a much easier and normal life, and that's what I wanted my baby to have.

I didn't want him or her growing up in Hollywood. It was just too stressful. I wanted what's best for our baby, and I wanted James to understand that. But he didn't.

I thought the drama was over, but it was still here.

**A/N: so was this chap bad? i kinda thought it was. anyway i told you there was still going to be a lot of drama. and i realized Logan still needs to tell Mrs. Knight. i cant believe i forgot about her and Katie. whoops. i will bring them back into the story. i will update tomorrow. bye =D**


	29. Chapter 29

**James POV**

I walked out of the studio, and went outside. I sat down on the curb in the parking lot, and covered my face with my hands. I just wanted to be alone for a while. I wasn't in the mood to do anything.

How could Logan want to get rid of the baby? He may not be killing it, but adoption wasn't good either. I really want this baby, and now Logan's taking it away from me. It seems like Logan cant make up his mind. Does he want the baby or not? And why should he be the only one who gets to call the shots? Its my baby too, and I can help make decisions.

I finally step up like Logan wanted, and now he's getting rid of our baby. I didn't want it going to live with some strangers. That baby is supposed to live with Logan and I at the Palm Woods. Its our baby, and it deserves to live with its parents. And I was going to let Logan know that.

"James?"

Speak of the devil. I turned around to see Logan standing behind me. I sighed and turned away. Logan sat down next to me, and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"James, I'm really sorry" he said.

"Why didn't you discuss it with me first? Aren't we supposed to talk about these sort of things?" I asked.

"Yeah we are, and I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it. I wanted to, but I was scared." Logan said.

"Why?"

"Because I knew if I told you, you would act like this."

"Logan, I don't want to give up our baby. I really want it, and I know you want it too." I said.

"James, I…."

"Don't lie and say you don't want it. I know you do." I said.

"We cant keep this baby, James. What about our future?" Logan asked.

"We can still have a future, but with a baby. Logan, stop worrying about what's going to happen later, and just think about now." I said.

"I'm just so scared. How can we raise this baby? We're only kids." Logan said.

"Logan, I know we're too young, but we can get through this. Please just keep the baby. Think about how our lives would be with it." I said.

"That's just it. Our lives wont be the same. A baby can change everything, James, and I'm afraid we wont be able to handle it." Logan said.

"We can handle it"

"But we cant even handle what's going on right now. How can we handle a baby?"

"I have faith in us, and you should too. I know we can get through this." I said.

Logan sighed. "I don't know, James."

"Logan, if you're scared because you think I'm going to leave you, then you're wrong. I'm never going to leave you and this baby. I promise to always be by your side." I said.

Logan rested his head on my shoulder. "Please keep that promise, James. I'm so tired of being lied to."

"I'm not going to lie to you. I promise I will never hurt you again." I said.

"Thank you, James."

I nodded and rested my head on top of Logan's.

"So no adoption, right?" I asked.

"No adoption." Logan said.

I smiled. "Good."

"I think the baby's happy too." Logan said.

"How do you know?" I said.

"Because she's kicking."

"She?"

"Yeah. I was kind of hoping we're having a girl." Logan said.

"Why? Don't you want a cute little boy that looks just like me… er I mean like us?" I asked.

"A boy would be cute, but I still want a little girl." Logan said.

"May I ask why?" I asked.

"I guess its because I grew up around girls. I used to baby sit my little cousins all the time." Logan said.

"And they were girls?"

Logan chuckled. "Yes, James. I also used to help Kendall baby sit Katie when she was younger."

"Well I still want a boy." I said.

"You cant always get what you want, Diamond." Logan said.

"Speaking of Diamond, is the baby going to have my last name or yours?" I asked.

"Can we not talk about that yet?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. Sorry"

"Its ok"

Logan grabbed his side, and hissed in pain.

"The baby still kicking?" I asked.

"Yeah, that time it hurt." Logan said.

I placed my hand over Logan's stomach, and rubbed it gently.

"What do you think Mrs. Knight and Katie are going to think?" I asked.

"Oh god I forgot about them. Mama Knight is going to flip when she finds out I'm having a baby." Logan said.

"Logan, don't worry. She'll be fine." I said.

"I hope you're right." Logan said.

"Just don't worry" I said.

"When should we tell her?" Logan asked.

"We could do it right now. I think rehearsals are over for today. Gustavo is probably freaking out about this whole thing." I said.

"I just hope Mama Knight doesn't freak out."

"Well lets find out."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

We left Rocque Records, and went back to our apartment. I told Kendall and Carlos that Logan and I could do this on our own. They understood and went to go hang out at the park.

"I cant do this, James. I cant it."

"Logan, just relax and breathe."

"I'm so scared. She's going to hate us." Logan said.

"Mrs. Knight isn't going to hate us. She loves us like we're her own. Just relax, Logan." I said.

Logan took a deep breath. "Ok"

I opened the door to 2J, and Logan and I walked inside. Katie was on the couch watching tv, and Mrs. Knight was in the kitchen.

"Hello boys. How was rehearsals?" she asked.

"It was good." I said.

"I wasn't expecting you for another few hours." Mrs. Knight said.

"Oh well Gustavo let us out early." I said.

Logan held onto me tightly, I could feel him shaking. He wrapped his arms around his midsection, and Mrs. Knight gave him a questioning look.

"Logan? Sweetie, are you ok?" Mrs. Knight asked.

Logan nodded his head, and Mrs. Knight frowned. I could tell she knew he was lying about something. Logan made a lot of things obvious.

"Logan, you can tell me anything. Now what's bothering you?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"I'm so sorry Mama Knight. I didn't mean for this to happen. Hell I didn't even think this could happen. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Logan said.

"Logan, what are you talking about?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"I'm pregnant." Logan said.

Mrs. Knight gasped and cupped her mouth.

"I'm so sorry" Logan said.

Mrs. Knight walked up to Logan, and he moved his arms away from his stomach. Mrs. Knight gasped again when she saw the bump Logan's been hiding.

"Please don't hate me." Logan said.

Mrs. Knight pulled Logan into a hug. "Oh sweetie. I would never hate you, especially for something like this."

"I'm so scared." Logan said.

"Don't be. You have me, all your friends and Kendall. He will be here for you no matter what." Mrs. Knight said.

"Actually Mama Knight, I'm the father." I said.

Mrs. Knight pulled away from Logan, and looked at me. "You're the father?"

"Yeah"

"Oh ok. I really need to talk to Kendall. He never tells me anything anymore." Mrs. Knight said.

"So you're not mad?" Logan asked.

"Of course not. I'm excited about having a baby in the house." Mrs. Knight said.

"Thanks Mama Knight." Logan said.

"Whoa, whoa. So you're not mad at him? Not even just a little?" Katie asked.

"No of course not. Why would I be mad at him? He didn't know this was going to happen." Mrs. Knight said.

"But you trusted him. Shouldn't you make him learn from his mistakes by kicking him out and making him raise the baby on his own?" Katie asked.

"No! Katie, you are not allowed to watch sixteen and pregnant ever again." Mrs. Knight said.

Katie rolled her eyes and turned back to the show she was watching. I chuckled and pulled Logan closer to me. He let out a yawn, and I looked down at him.

"Tired?" I asked.

Logan nodded. "Very"

"C'mon. You need your rest." I said.

Logan nodded, and I carried him to his room. I carefully set him down on his bed, then I laid down next to him. Logan curled up next to me, and fell asleep. I rubbed Logan's belly gently, and I felt the baby push against my hand. I smiled and continued to rub small circles over the bump.

I was glad everything worked out they way I hoped it would. Logan decided to keep the baby, and that made me really happy. Now I wasn't afraid of losing my baby, because he or she wasn't going anywhere.

I had everything I could ever want. I was living my dream as a pop star, and I had a baby on the way. But one thing was still missing. And that was Kendall. I thought I could get over him, but I cant.

I guess there are something's you can never forget.

**A/N: I cant wait for you guys to see what Kendall does lol. DRAMA!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Kendall's POV**

After spending a few hours at the park, Carlos and I decided to go home. I figured James and Logan were already done talking to my mom, so we could go back now. I was hoping my mom took the news well, but I wonder if she's upset with me because I'm not the father. I guess I would find out when I got home.

Carlos and I walked into the apartment, and went into the living room. We joined Katie on the couch, and watched tv. I could hear my mom in the kitchen, and I was hoping she didn't come out here and yell at me or something.

"Kendall, can I talk to you?" she asked.

Great I just jinxed everything for myself. I stood up from the couch and followed my mom into her bedroom. I sat down on her bed, and she closed the door to give us some privacy. Of course that wasn't going to stop my friends. They would still eavesdrop on our conversation.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"I just want to know what's going on." she said.

"Oh ok. Like what?" I asked.

"Like how Logan's pregnant and you're not the father. I thought you two were still together?" my mom asked.

"We needed a break, mom. There was just too much drama." I said.

"How so?" my mom asked.

"I don't know. Logan ended up going out with James, but it wasn't even real. Then Logan gets pregnant, and I just couldn't be with him." I said.

"Kendall, you shouldn't have left him. He needs you right now." my mom said.

"He has James." I said.

"But honey, they don't even love each other. You need to be there for Logan." my mom said.

"I cant. I just cant be with him when he lied to me and he's carrying someone else's baby." I said.

"You should still be there for him." my mom said.

"I'm trying, but its hard. I don't want James to get mad at me." I said.

"Why will James get mad? You're helping him care for Logan." my mom said.

"No mom you don't understand. James is in love with me." I said.

"So it's a love triangle?"

"Pretty much."

"Have you ever thought of giving James a chance?" my mom asked.

"I've thought about it, but I cant. Logan's still in love with me, and I don't want to hurt him. And if I get back with Logan, James will hate me. I don't know what to do." I said.

"This isn't going to be easy honey, but you have to make a decision. James is a really nice guy, and he deserves a chance." my mom said.

"But what about Logan? He'll be heartbroken." I said.

"He's probably already heartbroken. He's having a baby with someone he's not in love with. Just try talking to Logan about what's going on." my mom said.

"But I don't want to stress Logan out more. He already almost lost the baby." I said.

My mom gasped. "He did?"

"Yeah. The doctor said he was under a lot of stress and that his body is too weak to carry the baby." I said.

"I'll try and make him stronger. I really want grandchildren." my mom said.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you one." I said.

"Its ok honey. You will one of these days. Maybe in the future if you and Logan are together, you will give me one." my mom said.

I sighed. "We'll see."

"Don't worry about it. And Kendall, don't be afraid to talk to me about what's bothering you. I'm here to help." my mom said.

I nodded. "Ok."

My mom gave me a hug, then left the room. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Almost everyone keeps telling me to try going out with James. I would like to give him a chance, and maybe see where it goes. But I don't want to hurt Logan. I still love him, but we cant be together. Everything else needs to be straightened out before we can try again.

But what if dating James makes everything worse? I don't want everything to get worse. I want everything back to the way it was, but that seemed impossible. Right now it didn't look like everything was going to get fixed. I mean how could it? We all have managed to screw up, and it doesn't look like we can fix it.

I guess I could see what its like to be with James. He really does deserve it after I ignored his feelings for so many years. I just don't want Logan to get upset. He is already dealing with a lot, and he doesn't need more of this. I will just talk to him, and see what happens from there.

I left my moms room, and headed towards mine. I knocked lightly, then slowly opened the door. Logan was sound asleep with James cuddled up next to him. I guess I would talk to both of them later.

I went to leave the room, but stopped. I turned around and walked over to Logan and James. I couldn't help but smile at how cute they looked. James had his arm around Logan's small frame, and Logan's baby bump was pressed up against James side.

I sat down carefully next to James, then leaned over him. I gently pressed my lips to his, kissing him sweetly. James stirred in his sleep, then I felt his lips moving with mine. I pulled away, and James looked up at me.

"Kendall, what was that for?" he whispered.

I shrugged. "I guess I just felt like doing it."

James sat up, and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he held my face with his hands. We pulled away when we heard Logan whimper. I sighed in relief when he rolled over onto his other side. James went to lean in for another kiss, but I pulled away.

"Not here" I whispered.

"I want you, Kendall. I thought I could get over you, but I cant. Its too hard." James said.

"James, I…"

"Please don't say you don't want me. I know you do."

"I want to give you a chance. I feel bad for ignoring your feelings, and I want to see where this will go." I said.

"Kendall, I would love to do that, but….."

"But what?"

"But I'm having a baby, and I promised I wouldn't hurt Logan anymore." James said.

"I was going to talk to Logan about this. I just want to try a relationship with you. Maybe there's something between us that I cant see. Just give me a chance, James." I said

James pressed his lips to mine, and this time I didn't hesitate to kiss back. We pulled apart and rested our foreheads against each others.

"Is that a yes?" I asked.

James kissed me again. "Yes"

I chuckled. "Good"

I kissed James on the cheek, then left the room. I quietly closed the door behind me, then went into the living room. I sat down on the couch and Carlos looked over at me. He must've known something happened, but I wasn't ready to tell him. James was probably going to tell him anyway.

I still needed to talk to Logan. I knew he wasn't going to be happy, but he needs to understand that we cant be together. James really deserves a chance. Its not fair that he had to sit back and watch Logan kiss or cuddle with me. James deserves to be with the person he's been in love with. I just want to make James happy.

I just hope this doesn't make anything worse. But of course I could be wrong. If Logan doesn't take the news well, then there was definitely going to be more drama and hate between us.

I'm hoping there wont be anymore drama, and that I'm not making a huge mistake. But its too late. There's no turning back now.

**A/N: And the drama continues lol. i still will add Kogan in here later =D. oh i rlly need help with something so can you guys please help? i dont know what i want Logan to have. should he have a boy or a girl? i rlly need help and i wont be able to write my next chap unless i know the gender. so pretty please help me out. thanks and bye for now. =D**


	31. Chapter 31

**Logan's POV**

I woke up from my nap when I felt the bed shift. I thought James was getting up, but when I opened my eyes I saw Kendall sitting next to James. I was trying to figure out what Kendall was doing in here. Then I knew why.

Kendall leaned down and captured James' lips with a kiss. I felt my heart shatter into a million little pieces. Kendall was kissing James. Why would he do that? I know we broke up, but I still loved him. And I knew he loved me. Or so I thought.

I quickly closed my eyes when James spoke up.

"Kendall, what was that for?"

"I guess I just felt like doing it." Kendall said.

It was quiet again, so I opened my eyes. James and Kendall were kissing again, and they seemed to be really into it. Kendall had his arms around James, and James was holding Kendall's face in his hands. I could feel tears forming in my eyes, then rolling down my face.

I let out a whimper, and quickly closed my eyes. I rolled over onto my side and pretended to still be asleep.

"Not here" Kendall whispered.

"I want you, Kendall. I thought I could get over you, but I cant. Its too hard." James said.

I was hoping and praying that Kendall was going to say he didn't want James.

"_Come on Kendall say it. Say it." _I mentally said.

"James, I…"

"_Yes__!__" _I thought.

"Please don't say you don't want me. I know you do." James said.

"_Don't say it Kenny. Don't say you want him too." _I thought.

"I want to give you a chance. I feel bad for ignoring your feelings, and I want to see where this will go." Kendall said.

"_No__!__ Kenny take it back. Take it back. Say you love me and not James." _I mentally screamed.

More tears came streaming down my face. How could Kendall do this to me? I loved him so much. I closed my eyes tightly to prevent more tears from falling.

"Kendall, I would love to do that, but….."

My eyes shot open at what James said. Maybe James knew this was wrong. Well I was hoping he did.

"But what?" Kendall asked.

"But I'm having a baby, and I promised I wouldn't hurt Logan anymore." James said.

Finally James had some sense knocked into him. He promised he wasn't going to hurt me, and he better not.

"I was going to talk to Logan about this. I just want to try a relationship with you. Maybe there's something between us that I cant see. Just give me a chance, James." Kendall said.

My heart beat furiously in my chest as I waited for James to answer, but it never came. I rolled over a little bit, and I saw them kissing again. James had said yes to Kendall. I rolled back over and cried silently. I just lost the one thing I loved the most. Kendall was gone.

I felt the bed shift again, then I heard the bedroom door open and close. More tears fell and landed on my pillow. Another whimper left my mouth, and I quickly wished it hadn't.

"Logan, are you ok?" James asked.

"I-I'm ok" I said.

James turned on his side and wrapped his arms around my waist. His hands found their way to my baby bump, and he gently rubbed it. I tried my best to not push him off me.

"Did you have a bad dream or something?" James asked.

I nodded.

"What was it about?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said.

"Logan, are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine."

James sighed and let go of me. He got up from the bed, and left the room. I buried my face into my pillow and sobbed. I couldn't believe that just happened. Kendall was with James. I thought he loved me. He said he still does, but that we needed a break. He just left me for James. That had to be it.

I felt so stupid for thinking Kendall still loved me, and that James actually care about me. They lied to me, and even when I said I was tired of being lied to. They complained that they couldn't trust me, but I couldn't trust them. They're a bunch of liars.

I wanted this drama to go away, but they kept bringing it back. Do they love it so much? Do they enjoy fucking with my feelings? They must because they keep doing it.

I looked the down at my stomach when I felt the baby push against my side. I let more tears slip. I was going to be all alone again. I was so afraid of being left alone, but now I was. No one cared enough about me to actually be here for me. I didn't want to be alone, but I was.

The baby kicked again, and I rubbed my stomach gently. The baby probably knew I was upset, and it was trying to get me to calm down. I really needed to relax for the baby's sake.

"I hate your father. Please don't turn out like him." I said to my belly.

I started sobbing again and I covered my face with my hands. I hated my life so much. Everyone I loved and trusted betrayed me. I shouldn't even be here, but I wasn't going to kill myself. The only thing keeping me alive was this baby. If the baby wasn't here, then I probably wouldn't be either.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

A few weeks later, I wasn't any better. James and Kendall still acted like they cared about me, but I knew they were lying. They were lying to everyone actually. They had this relationship going on, and I was the only one who knew about it.

I tried to act like everything was fine, but it wasn't. I was miserable. Probably more miserable then before. I hated knowing the person I was madly in love with was with someone else. I hated it so much.

I should be happy about today, but I wasn't. Today I was having another ultrasound, and the sex of the baby could be determined. I wanted to go to my appointment alone. I might as well get used to doing things by myself. But James wouldn't let me go alone. I had to give in and let him go with me. I didn't want him to know that I knew about him and Kendall.

"What do you think we're having?" James asked.

We were waiting for the doctor to come in, and I was sitting on the bed. I haven't said much to James all day. I wasn't happy with him at all. I'm pretty sure I hated him.

"Don't know." I said.

James frowned. "Logan, what's wrong?"

"Mood swings." I said.

"Logan….."

James was cut off when the doctor came in. Thank god. I didn't want to hear what James had to say. Honestly, I didn't care what he had to say. It meant nothing to me.

"Hello Logan." Dr. Williams said.

"Hi." I said.

"How are things?" he asked.

"Ok I guess." I said.

"Well lets see how the baby's doing." the doctor said.

I laid back on the bed, and lifted up my shirt. I grimaced at how big my stomach looked. It wasn't super huge, but it wasn't exactly small either. The doctor covered my belly with the blue gel, then pressed the remote to my stomach. I looked over at the screen, and I could see my baby. I could clearly see more of it now.

"Congratulations. Your baby girl is doing just fine. Those vitamins must be helping." Dr. Williams said.

"Wait what? I'm having a girl?" I asked.

"Mhm."

My eyes filled up with tears, and a few slipped. I was having a girl. Finally something good was happening to me. I got something I wanted.

"So she's ok, right?" I asked.

"Yes she's doing really well. Your body seems to be getting stronger, and you might be able to carry her to term." the doctor said.

"That's great." I said.

"Yes it is, but you should still take those vitamins. They seem to be really helping you." Dr. Williams said.

I nodded. "Ok"

The doctor turned the machine off, and wiped the gel off my stomach.

"Alright well that's all for today. Take care."

"Thank you." I said.

Dr. Williams nodded, then left the room. I sat up and rubbed my stomach. I couldn't believe I was having a baby girl.

"Well we're having a girl. You got what you wanted." James said.

"Finally" I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" James asked.

"Just take me home ok?" I asked.

James sighed and we left the hospital. The ride back to the Palm Woods was silent. I didn't talk to James at all. He tried talking to me, but I ignored him. We pulled up to the Palm Woods, and I went to get out, but James stopped me.

"Logan, please talk to me. What did I do to upset you?" James asked.

"I think you know." I said.

"I do?"

"Just think James"

I got out of the car, and slammed the door hard. I didn't really feel like going back to the apartment, so I headed towards the park. I needed to be alone for a few hours, and I wasn't going to go on the roof. I would be found immediately.

I walked to the park, and sat down on a bench. I was glad there wasn't a lot of people around. I could just be alone, even if that was something I was afraid of, I just needed to be left alone for a while.

I placed my hand over my stomach, and rubbed small circles over it. I smiled when I felt my little girl push against my hand. I was glad I finally got something I wanted. Everything else I wanted I couldn't have. I wanted Kendall, but he wanted James.

Just thinking about the blonde brought tears to my eyes. I loved and hated him at the same time. He promised me forever, but he cant seem to keep his promises. He ditched me because he couldn't handle our relationship.

I wanted Kendall more then anything. I needed him more then anything else. Why did my life have to be so fucked up? I wanted my old life back.

I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. My whole body shook because of how hard I was crying. The baby started kicking me pretty hard, so I tried to calm down. I didn't want to hurt my baby girl. The doctor said she was doing really good, so I didn't want to ruin that.

I finally calmed down, and my hands fell back on my stomach. I may not have Kendall anymore, but I at least have my daughter. She was the only thing that mattered now. Nothing else mattered but her.

I rubbed my stomach gently. "I guess its just you and me."

**A/N: So yeah Logan's having a girl. yay lol. i know a lot of you are upset with me cuz of kames and stuff, but i promise there will be Kogan. not in the next, but the following chap. lets just say Kendall realizes he made a HUGE mistake. after that everything will be happy again. im kinda tired of Logan being miserable. so i promise in a few chaps Kogan and happiness k?. =D**


	32. Chapter 32

**James POV**

I was trying to figure out what was wrong with Logan. He's been acting so weird lately, and I didn't know why. He kept saying it was mood swings, but Logan wasn't a very good liar.

All today he has been weird and distant towards me. At the hospital, he would even talk to me. What the hell did I do to him?

When we pulled up to the Palm Woods, I tried asking him what was wrong, but he didn't tell me. He just said that I knew what was wrong. How did I know what was bothering him? I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me.

Then it hit me. What if Logan knew about Kendall and I? nah he couldn't, right? He was asleep when Kendall and I kissed. Well I thought he was, but maybe I was wrong. Logan had to have seen us. That's why he was so upset. He knew the truth about Kendall and I. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I had told Logan a few weeks ago that I wasn't going to hurt him anymore, but I broke that promise. I did hurt him, and in the worst way possible. Cant I do anything right? I'm such a fucking screw up.

I never meant to hurt Logan, but I let my feelings take over. I should've told Kendall that we cant be together, but I love him so much that I cant say no. What am I going to do now? I just upset a pregnant Logan. Last time he was upset, he almost killed himself and the baby. I didn't want him to do that this time.

I got out of the car, and went inside the Palm Woods. I practically ran through the lobby, causing people to give me confused looks. I needed to get to Logan before he does anything stupid. I reached the apartment, and ran inside.

Kendall was sitting on the couch quietly. The tv wasn't on or anything, so I was wondering what he was doing. Then it occurred to me that it looked like he was thinking about something. Oh god. What was he thinking about? I was hoping it wasn't about us.

I slowly walked up to Kendall, and he didn't even acknowledge my presence. I leaned down and placed a kiss to his lips. He squirmed and didn't kiss me back.

"James, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Kissing you. Am I not allowed to kiss my own boyfriend?" I asked.

Kendall sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I sat down next to him, and placed my hand on his knee.

"Kendall, what's wrong? What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Us" he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"James, you're a great guy, but…I don't think I can be with you." Kendall said.

"But why? We've only been dating for a few weeks. You cant change your mind when we haven't even been together that long." I said.

"The past few weeks were great and all, but my heart still aches for Logan. I just miss him so much, James. I need him." Kendall said.

"So you don't want to be with me?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry. I did like being with you, but I don't see us having a future." Kendall said.

"But Kendall, I really really like you. Please just stay with me." I said.

Kendall reached out and stroked my cheek. "Oh James, if I didn't have feelings for Logan I would still be with you. But I cant forget about him. And I don't think I ever will."

I sighed. "I guess I understand. You would be better off with Logan anyway."

"I'm so sorry, James. I'm glad I gave you a chance though. It made me see what I was missing out on, but I love Logan." Kendall said.

"Thanks Kendall, for giving me a chance." I said.

Kendall pulled me into a hug, and rubbed my back. I could feel tears approaching, but I tried to not let them fall. I didn't want Kendall to see me crying over this. But I guess I had every right to cry. I finally got to be with the person I wanted, and now I was losing him.

We pulled apart, and Kendall looked at me. He reached out and brushed away the tears that did slip from my eyes.

"You know I still love you, James. But Logan needs me and I need him. I hope you can forgive me." Kendall said.

"I forgive you, and thank you for letting me down gently. I don't think I would've been able to handle being rejected harshly." I said.

"I would never hurt you like that, James. You're my friend and brother, and I love you like one." Kendall said.

"Thanks Kendall." I said.

Kendall nodded, then stood up from the couch.

"Where's Logan? I want to talk to him" he said.

"Wait, he's not here?" I asked.

"No"

"Shit!"

"James, what's going on?" Kendall asked.

"Logan's gone. I thought he came back here, but he didn't." I said.

"I have to go look for him." Kendall said.

I stood up from the couch. "I'll go with you."

"No you stay here just in case he comes home." Kendall said

I nodded. "Ok"

Kendall walked over to the front door, and opened it.

"Kendall wait."

Kendall turned around to face me, and I ran up to him.

"Since this is goodbye for us, can I have a goodbye kiss? I know you never forget those" I said.

Kendall smiled, then gave me a kiss on the lips. After a few seconds, he pulled away then ran out of the apartment. I closed the door, then let out a sigh. I just let him get away, but it was for the best.

I needed to stop thinking about myself for once, and just put my friends first. It was obvious Logan still had feelings for Kendall, and I didn't want to hurt him by dating the person he is madly in love with. He deserved to be with Kendall more then I did.

I was upset that I lost Kendall, but I at least got to be with him for a little while. And that was better then nothing. I would rather have Kendall be with Logan anyway. At least my best friends would be happy again.

My thoughts drifted off to Logan, and I started to get worried. If he ever hurt himself and the baby, I would never ever forgive myself. It was all my fault Logan was upset, and I didn't want him stressing out at all. That was bad for both him and the baby.

We found out today that the baby was doing better, and now all of the could be ruined because I made Logan upset. I was hoping and praying that he didn't do anything, and that he and my little girl were ok.

I hope Kendall can find him on time. Before its too late.

**A/N: I apologize for this very short and very bad chapter. well Kames is over, and now there will be Kogan and happiness. lets just say things seem to be geting better, then BAM! something bad happens. but thats not for a while. anyway i hope you guys did like this chap anway. bye for now =D.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Kendall's POV**

I ran out of the apartment, and went into the lobby. I scanned the area for Logan, but I didn't see him. I didn't know where he could be. Why would he run away? I was hoping nothing bad happened that caused him to be upset. Last time he was upset, we almost lost him. And I didn't want that to happen again.

Then I knew where he was. There's always that one place he runs off to when he needs to be alone. I ran to the stairs, and climbed up to the roof. I opened the door and looked around for Logan.

"Logan!" I called.

I didn't get a response and I sighed in frustration. Where was my Logan? I left the roof, and decided to check the park.

I don't know how Logan found out about James and I, but he did. That had to be the reason why he ran off. He has been acting different with James and I, so he has to know what's been going on. Why did I have to go and ruin everything?

I felt so bad for hurting him. It was my fault he was gone. I was the one who upset him and broke his heart. I knew kissing and going out with James was a bad idea, and now look what happened. Logan was gone and it was all my fault.

I hope Logan can forgive me. I want Logan more then anything. That's why I dumped James. I don't care if Logan lied to me. I lied to him, so we're both equal now. We both did wrong, so we can just push passed this now. Even though Logan hurt me, I still loved him. He means more to me then anything else. I just really want him back.

I walked into the park, but I still didn't see Logan anywhere. I kept walking around, then I saw him. He was sitting on a bench with his face in his hands. I slowly made my way up to him.

"Logan?"

He looked up at me, and I could see how miserable he looked. His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were stained with tears. I felt absolutely awful. I was the one who did all of this to him.

He turned away from me, and I could hear him crying. I sat down next to him, and wrapped my arm around him. He shrugged me off and scooted away from me.

"Logan, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." I said.

"Then why did you?" he asked.

"I never meant to. That wasn't my intention." I said.

"But you still did. That's all you've done is hurt me and make me feel unloved and unwanted. I thought you said you loved and wanted me." Logan said.

"Logie, I do want you. I love you so much." I said.

"Just save it, Kendall. I know you love James." Logan said.

"But I don't. I love you and only you." I said.

"Then why did you go with James? I love you, Kendall and I thought you loved me. But you didn't, because you went with James." Logan said.

"I just needed a little break. Our relationship didn't seem like it was working, so I needed a break. I know it was wrong of me to go with James, but Logie, he deserved a chance. I only did it to make James happy. But we're over now, and I want you back, Logie. I love you." I said.

"I love you too, but…..I don't think I can go back with you. I just need to be alone for a while." Logan said.

"I promised I would never leave you alone, and…"

"But you did. You left me alone and heartbroken."

"Logan, I'm so sorry. I promise to never hurt you like that again. I want you. I need you. So please, give me another chance to prove myself to you. I love you, Logan and I want to be with you forever." I said.

"I want to believe you." Logan said.

"Then believe me. Please Logan come back to me. I cant live without you. I thought I could, but I cant. I cant, Logan. I love you so much. Please give me another try." I said.

"I cant" Logan said.

He stood up from the bench, and turned to walk away. I stood up and grabbed his hand, causing him to stop. He turned around and I pressed my lips to his. He didn't kiss back at first, then I felt his lips move against mine. I brought him closer to me and I held onto his waist. We pulled apart, and looked into each others eyes.

"I love you Logan." I whispered.

"I love you too." he whispered back.

I gave him another kiss, then rested my forehead against his.

"I love you so much, and I want to be with you forever. You're my life, Logan, and I cant live without you. Please be my boyfriend again." I said.

Logan looked at me, and tried to figure out what he was thinking. Logan gave me another kiss, then pulled away.

"Is that a yes?" I asked.

Logan smiled. "Yes."

I wrapped Logan in a hug, and he rested his head on my shoulder. This right here felt so right. When I was with James, I didn't have that same feeling. But with Logan, everything seemed to fit perfectly. He really was my missing puzzle piece.

I pulled away when I felt something push against me. Logan smiled and placed a hand on his stomach.

"Did the baby just kick?" I asked.

Logan nodded. "I think she likes you"

"She? You're having a girl?" I asked.

"Yeah" Logan said.

"Um….can I feel?" I asked.

Logan grabbed my hand and placed it over his stomach. I went to pull away when I didn't feel anything, but Logan brought my hand back. I gasped when I felt the baby push gently against my hand.

"Oh my god." I whispered.

"See she does like you. When I'm happy she's happy." Logan said.

"Well I'm glad you're both happy. And I like her too." I said.

"But I thought you didn't want anything to do with her?" Logan asked.

"At first I didn't because I felt I really didn't belong in her life, but now I want to be here for her. She may not be mine, but I'm going to treat her like my own." I said.

Logan smiled, then wrapped my in a hug. "I love you, Kendall."

"I love you too, Logie. So much." I said.

I placed my hand back on Logan's belly, and rubbed it gently. The baby pushed hard against my hand, causing Logan to wince.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Yeah she just kicked really hard that time." Logan said.

Logan grabbed my arm, and let out a whimper.

"Logie, are you sure you're ok?" I asked.

"I'm fine. She just keeps kicking me in the ribs. Ow!" Logan said.

"C'mon lets go back home. Maybe she will calm down." I said.

Logan nodded. "Ok"

I grabbed Logan's hand, and we started walking back, but Logan stopped when the baby continued to kick him. He grabbed his side and hissed in pain.

"I blame ...ah! You for….ouch! This." Logan said.

"Its not my fault she likes me so much." I said.

"Shut up Knight. You just woke her up and now she's taking it out on me." Logan said.

"Whatever you say, Logie. Whatever you say." I said.

When the baby relaxed, we continued walking back. The whole way I had a smile on my face. I had Logan back, and the baby finally kicked for me. I've never felt so happy. I just hope James and Logan can work things out. Then everything will be back to normal. Or at least I hope it will.

**A/N: So sorry for this short chapter, but at least Kogan is back. yay lol. um do you guys have any ideas. it could be for more drama or just cutesy stuff idk. my mind is really blanking, and i need help. so if anyone has any ideas, please let me know. oh and should logan have a baby shower, or is that too girly. idk just let me know k? well bye for now. =D**


	34. Chapter 34

**Logan's POV**

"Its ok Logie. We're almost there." Kendall said.

"Why does she keep kicking me?" I asked

"Maybe she is just really happy." Kendall said.

"Well she needs to stop, and go back to sleep." I said.

Kendall chuckled and led me through the hallway. He opened the door to our apartment, and we went inside. I grabbed my side and let out a whimper when the baby pushed against my ribs. James ran over to me and rubbed my back soothingly.

"Logan, are you ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine." I said.

"Logan, I just want to say that I'm really sorry, and…"

"James, can you wait to apologize to me?" I asked.

"Why?" James asked.

"Because your daughter is kicking me really hard in the ribs, and I'm not in the mood for anything." I said.

"Oh"

"Logie, just hear James out. He really wants to talk to you." Kendall said.

I sighed. "Fine."

Kendall led me over to the couch, and I gently sat down. Kendall took a seat next to me, and James sat on the armrest.

"Logan, I'm so sorry for everything I did." James said.

"And what exactly are you sorry for, James?" I asked.

"Everything. For lying, hurting and betraying you. I'm so sorry for what I did. It was wrong of me to date Kendall when you still loved him, but I couldn't help it. I love him too and…"

"This isn't making me want to forgive you." I said.

"I'm sorry. Logan, please forgive me for everything I did to you. I promise to never to do it again. I just really want everything to go back to normal." James said.

"I do too, but how are we going to get it back that way? It just seems impossible at this point." I said.

"Logan, I know we can fix this. Lets just try to get passed this for our friendship and for our daughter." James said.

"James is right. We have to just figure out a way to push passed all of this. Then everything will be back to how it was." Kendall said.

"I know, I know. But what if we cant?" I asked.

"We will ok? I promise you." James said.

"Don't promise me. Just do it." I said.

"Logan, please just forgive me. That would be the first step in fixing this. Once we've all made up, things will change from there." James said.

"James, its not that easy for me. I really did trust and believe you. You told me you would never hurt me again, and you did. And you did it in the worst way possible." I said.

"And I'm so sorry. I will never hurt you again. I hate seeing you upset, and I hate that its my fault you're that way. Logan, please forgive me. Please." James said.

I didn't know if I was ready to forgive James. He lied and hurt me. How could I possibly forgive him so easily? But then again, I did forgive Kendall. I didn't want to, but when he kissed me, I just couldn't say no. And I couldn't say no to James either.

Even though I had Kendall back, I still needed James. His daughter needed him. I just have to forgive him. He's like my brother, and even though brothers fight, they still forgive each other no matter what.

I sighed. "James, I accept your apology."

"Thank you Logan so much. You don't know how much this means to me." James said.

"I think I do, but please don't to that again. I'm so sick and tired of you guys lying to me and treating me like I'm not important. I really want this pregnancy to go by smoothly, and you guys aren't letting that happen. So will you stop?" I asked.

"We promise Logie. I promise to never hurt you ever again." Kendall said.

"Me too. I want you and the baby to be ok." James said.

"And we will if all this drama and stress goes away." I said.

"It will. Starting today, everything will go back to the way it was." Kendall said.

"I hope so." I said.

"It will, Logie. It will." Kendall said.

I nodded, then turned to James. "Um James?"

"Yeah?"

"Even though Kendall and I are back together, you're still part of the baby's life. So don't ever think I was going to kick you out ok? I still need you for all of this." I said.

"I wouldn't have left anyway. I love my baby, and I want to be there for her." James said.

"Thank James. I'm glad you care about her." I said.

James smiled, then looked down at his hands. I knew he was thinking about something, but I wasn't sure what. I was going to ask him, but the baby kicked me again. I grabbed my side and hissed in pain.

"You ok?" James asked.

"The baby's just kicking. God when is she going to stop? She's been doing this all day." I said.

"She probably just likes moving around." James said.

"Well she needs to knock it off." I said.

"Maybe if you calm down, so will she. Try taking a nap or something." Kendall said.

"How can I possibly sleep when she is doing this? She's such a brat." I said.

The baby kicked harder and I grabbed Kendall's arm.

"Ok, ok. I deserved it that time." I said to my belly.

"C'mon Logie. Lets go take a nap." Kendall said.

I nodded and Kendall helped me up from the couch. James stood up as well and I gave him a hug. We held onto each other for a few minutes, that is until our daughter thought that was enough. She pushed as hard as she could, and James and I pulled apart.

"She sure love to kick." James said.

"Tell me about it." I said.

"Does it bother you that much?" James asked.

"Yeah a little, but her kicking lets me know she's ok." I said.

"I cant wait till she gets here." James said.

"Just five more months." I said.

"I cant wait. Now get some sleep, you both had a really hard day." James said.

"More like a hard few months." I said.

"Well that's all over now, and its never coming back." James said.

"I hope you're right." I said.

I followed Kendall to our room, and I laid down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled closer to him. Kendall lowered his hands to my stomach, and rubbed it gently.

"Did she stop kicking?" he asked.

"Yeah. I guess she was tired too." I said.

"Well then both of you get some sleep. Who knows how crazy tomorrow will be." Kendall said.

"I thought all of that was over?" I asked.

"I meant with Gustavo. He will probably work us pretty hard." Kendall said.

"Doesn't he always? But at least I don't have to do anything." I said.

"You're still capable of singing, and I bet the baby will love that." Kendall said.

"Yeah. I just hope she doesn't kick me again. It really hurts." I said.

"Then don't call her a brat. Its obvious she didn't like that comment." Kendall said.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't apologize to me. You hurt her feelings not mine." Kendall said.

I looked down at my belly. "I'm sorry baby girl"

My daughter gently pushed against my stomach, and I smiled.

"I think you're forgiven." Kendall said.

"Me too." I said.

Kendall gave me a kiss on my temple. I smiled, and snuggled a little closer to him. It felt good to be wrapped in his arms again. I really missed his warmth. I just missed being will him in general.

I was glad everyone made up. Now it really seemed like all of this could be resolved, and that made me happy. I wouldn't have to worry about being lied to or hurt by my friends. All of that was over now. The only thing I had to worry about was the baby, but I knew she was going to be ok.

Everything was going to be ok now. I just knew it.

**A/N: Hi sorry i didnt update right away, but i really needed a break. im so glad i took one. i thought of a whole bunch of stuff, but its not all drama. im going to start focusing more on the baby. like names, and clothes and stuff. i even need to do Logan's baby shower. i might throw in a little bit of things that could start drama, but thats about it. that is until the rlly bad thing happens, but im not saying. anywho i will update when i can. bye for now =D**


	35. Chapter 35

**James POV**

Kendall and Logan went to their room for a nap, and I sat back down on the couch. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Usually I would never mess up my hair, but at the moment I didn't care what it looked like.

I don't know if I should be happy that everything is getting fixed, or if I should be upset about it. Everything is going back to normal, and I don't know if I want that. Going back to normal means no Kendall. I have to go back and pretend I don't love him, and I didn't want that.

But of course, I just said that I wanted everything the way it was before, so I shouldn't be complaining. This isn't about me or my feelings, its about Logan. He's the one going through a lot more then the rest of us. He's the one who is four and half months pregnant, and I cant even imagine how stressed he is.

A lot of what Logan's going through is because of me. I was the one who got him pregnant, so the least I could do is be there for him. He needs me right now more then ever, and I was going to be there for him and the baby.

Even though all of this was going to be difficult, there was no way I was backing out. I promised I would be there for Logan, and this time I was going to keep my promise.

I looked up when the front door of the apartment opened. Carlos walked in with a huge grin on his face.

"James! Guess what?" Carlos asked.

"Shh keep it down. Logan and Kendall are asleep." I said.

"Oops sorry," Carlos whispered. "Guess what?"

"You don't have to whisper. Just don't talk that loud." I said.

"Ok. Gue….."

"What?" I asked.

"Guess who's got a date tonight?"

"Dude that's awesome! Who's the lucky lady?" I asked.

"Stephanie. We were talking by the pool, and then she asked me out." Carlos said.

"That's great man. I'm really happy for you." I said.

"Thanks. So are you ok? You look a little upset or something." Carlos said.

"I'm ok I guess. Logan and I made up." I said.

"Is he ok that you're dating Kendall? Because he didn't seem to happy with you the other day." Carlos said.

"We broke up." I said.

"What? When?" Carlos asked.

"Today. I came home after taking Logan to his doctor appointment, and Kendall ended it." I said.

"I'm sorry, James." Carlos said.

"Its cool. He couldn't get over Logan, so he broke up with me. He let me down gently though." I said.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." Carlos said.

"I'm not going to worry about it. At least I got to be with him for a little bit." I said.

"Yeah that's better then nothing."

"Yeah."

"So you and Logan made up huh?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah. We both decided that we cant keep living like this. So from now on, all the drama is gone. No more fighting for us." I said.

"Ok good. I really wanted us to be friends again. I missed it." Carlos said.

"So did I. But all the drama is over now and never coming back." I said.

"I'm glad."

"Yeah"

"I guess I will get ready for my date." Carlos said.

"Need help?"

"Please?"

I chuckled and followed Carlos into our room.

BTR***BTR***BTR***

"James, look how cute this is." Logan said as he held up pink pajamas.

"Yeah they're cute, but we have to go" I said.

"Gustavo can wait. I want to look at more clothes." Logan said.

"Logie, we can come back after rehearsals. This store will still be here." Kendall said.

"But Kenny look at this outfit. Its cute, right?" Logan asked.

"Its adorable, but people are starting to stare, so lets go." I said.

"James relax. Nobody cares." Logan said.

"I do." I muttered.

"Logan, look as these little shoes." Carlos said.

"Carlos, don't encourage him. Gustavo is going to get mad that we're late." I said.

"James, just give him a few minutes. He really wants to shop for the baby." Kendall said.

I sighed. "Fine, but only for a few minutes. I don't want Gustavo to yell at us."

"Is that the only reason you want to leave?" Kendall asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Are you really afraid of Gustavo? Or are you too embarrassed to be in a baby store?" Kendall asked.

"Um…well….I guess a little bit of both. Its just a little weird for me." I said.

"Well get used to it. Because you're going to be in here a lot." Kendall said.

"Yay" I said.

Kendall rolled his eyes, then walked over to where Logan and Carlos were. They were now looking at blankets, and Logan was enjoying every minute of it. I guess shopping for the baby was going to get a little getting used to. I didn't really mind being in the store. It was the fact that the employees were watching us like a hawk. It just made me really uncomfortable.

We finally left the store after Logan had bought a few things. I told him not to, but he did it anyway. He bought a couple of shirts, a few pairs of pajamas and a couple of onesies. I didn't want to say anything because he looked so happy, and I didn't want to ruin that.

"Dogs! You're late." Gustavo said as we walked into the studio.

"Yeah we got a little held back." I said.

"Hey its not my fault." Logan said.

"I don't care. Just get to work and try not to bug me." Gustavo said.

Kendall and Carlos walked into the sound booth, but I held Logan back.

"What's up?" Logan asked.

"When are you going to tell Gustavo that you're keeping the baby?" I whispered.

"You mean we."

"Yeah we. When are you going to tell him?"

"Um I'm not sure yet. Maybe tomorrow or next week." Logan said.

"Logan, you….we have to tell him soon." I said.

"I know. James just relax ok? I have this figured out." Logan said.

I sighed. "I hope so."

"Just don't worry about it." Logan said.

I nodded, then followed Logan to the sound booth. The whole time I was thinking about how we were going to break the news to Gustavo. He was going to be so pissed when he finds out we're keeping the baby.

We really need to tell him before it gets worse. And we need to tell him soon.

**A/N: Hi sorry this chap was short. i didnt really like it. it was kinda pointless lol. anyway i will update tomorrow i guess. oh i figured out how long this story might be. it might be at least fifty some chaps or more. its kinda crazy. i've never written a story this long before, but im doing it now. so bye for now and i hope everyone enjoyed this really pointless chap lol. =D**


	36. Chapter 36

**Kendall's POV**

We walked into the apartment after rehearsals, and I immediately collapsed on the orange couch. Logan sat down next to me, and James and Carlos went to their room. Logan rested his head on my shoulder, and I pulled him closer to me.

He looked extremely exhausted, but I guess it was because he was pregnant. It didn't help that he still had to go to work. I didn't know when Gustavo was going to give him maternity leave, but I hope he does it soon. Logan really needs to relax and take it easy.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm ok. Why do you ask?" Logan asked.

"I don't know. I just want to make sure you and the baby are ok." I said.

"We're fine, Kenny. I'm just a little tired." Logan said.

"Hopefully Gustavo will give you a break soon. You really need it." I said.

"Yeah." Logan said.

I gave Logan a kiss on the cheek, and he smiled. He turned his face towards me, and I connected our lips in a kiss. I caressed Logan's cheek, then gently lowered him on his back. Logan wrapped his arms around my neck, and I laid in between his legs. I tried my best not to squish Logan or the baby.

Logan let out a moan when I licked along his bottom lip. He parted his lips, and I stuck my tongue in, mapping out his entire mouth. I could feel Logan growing hard, and I moaned when our clothed erections made contact.

"Fuck me Kendall." Logan said.

"What about the baby?" I asked.

"She's asleep. Its fine." Logan said.

I was a little hesitant a first, but I really wanted this. I attached my lips to Logan's neck, and planted kisses all over it. I found his pulse point and sucked harshly on it, causing Logan to moan. I lowered my hand down to Logan's crotch, and rubbed it with my palm.

"M-more." Logan moaned.

I smirked and stopped palming him. I put my mouth to his bugle, but stopped when I heard the front door open. I looked up to see my mom and Katie walk in. My mom gasped and quickly covered Katie's eyes. I climbed off of Logan, and he sat up as well.

"Hi mom." I said.

She removed her hands from Katie's eyes, then whispered something to her. Katie nodded and went to her room.

"Kendall, can I have a word with you?" my mom asked.

I nodded. "Ok"

Logan gave me a worried look, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I stood up from the couch and followed my mom into her room. I sat down on the bed, and she closed the door.

"Kendall, what's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing. Why?" I asked.

"Because you're with Logan again. Why are you two back together?" my mom asked.

"Because I love and want to be with him." I said.

"But what about James. Don't you love him?" she asked.

"No I don't. I love Logan." I said.

"Did you even give James a chance like I said?" my mom asked.

"Yes I did, but I wasn't happy. I love Logan and I needed to be with him." I said.

"Honey, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I don't think you should be with Logan when he is having someone else's baby." my mom said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because you don't really belong. I'm sorry sweetie, but its not your place. James is the father and he should be there for Logan." my mom said.

"I have every right to be with Logan. Yeah he's having someone else's baby, but who cares. I love him so much that I don't care that the baby isn't even mine. I'm still going to treat it like it is." I said.

"Honey, I know you love Logan, but you cant be with him. You just cant when James is the father and not you. You need to step back and let James be the father." my mom said.

"Wow you're unbelievable. I thought parents were supposed to support their children with their decisions, but you cant even do that. You're trying to tell me what to do, but your way is wrong. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and I don't care if you agree with them or not. I'm not leaving Logan just because you said I should. I love him and you cant tell me what to do." I said.

My mom sighed. "Sweetie…."

"No mom. I'm going to be with him, and if you don't like it, then too bad." I said.

"Honey, the baby's not yours." my mom said.

"I don't care. I love her like she is. So just leave me the fuck alone." I said.

I left my moms room and walked into my own. Logan was sitting on his bed, going through the baby stuff he bought. I slammed the door as hard as I could, then I collapsed on the bed. I buried my face in my pillow and groaned.

"Kendall, are you ok?" Logan asked.

"I'm fine." I said.

I felt the bed dip, then Logan's hands on my back.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said.

"Please talk to me. I want to know what's bothering you." Logan said.

I sighed and sat up. "My moms bothering me."

"What did she do?" Logan asked.

"She doesn't want me to be with you."

"W-what? Why?"

"Because you're having James's baby, and she said I don't belong." I said.

"No Kenny no. You do belong. Don't listen to her." Logan said.

"But what if she's right?" I asked.

"No she's wrong. You belong ok? You belong just as much as James does. I love you, Kendall and I need you. Please don't leave me." Logan said.

"Logie, I would never leave you." I said.

"But you're thinking about it aren't you? Please don't listen to your mom." Logan said.

I cupped Logan's face with my hands, and wiped away a few of his tears.

"Logie, I would never ever leave you. I love you and this baby so much. I don't care what my mom says. I love you." I said.

"I love you too." Logan said.

I wrapped Logan in a hug, and he rested his head on my shoulder. Logan sniffed and I rubbed his back soothingly.

"Please don't ever think I will leave you, because I never will." I said.

"I know, but I'm just afraid you will." Logan said.

"But I'm not ok? I love you so much." I said.

"I love you too." Logan said.

We pulled apart and I gave Logan a kiss on the lips.

"Do you want to finish what we started?" I asked.

"I'm really tired. I'm sorry, Kenny." Logan said.

"Its ok. You need your rest anyway." I said.

Logan nodded, then laid down. I laid down next to him, and ran my fingers through his hair. In a matter of minutes, Logan was out and snoring softly.

I wasn't going to listen to my mother at all. I loved Logan more then anything, and nothing was going to keep me away from him. I need him and he needs me. There is no way I will ever leave him and this baby. I loved them so much.

I looked down at Logan's belly and smiled. I gently rubbed it, and the baby pushed against my hand. I pressed my lips to his stomach, kissing it gently. I pulled away when Logan stirred in his sleep. I continued to play with his hair, then I kissed his head.

"I love you, Logie."

**A/N: Sorry for another short chap. i will update tomorrow. =D**


	37. Chapter 37

**Logan's POV**

A few weeks passed, and I was now five months along. I still didn't like my body, but at least I knew the baby was growing. Kendall told me to stop being self conscious, but it was hard. I was still surprised about how I looked, even though I saw it coming. At least I have an excuse to wear Kendall's clothes. I felt so comfortable and warm in them.

I had another doctor's appointment today, and I was hoping my baby was still doing good. I would never forgive myself if something happened to my little girl. I love her so much and I'm the one who is responsible for her health. I just hope she is ok, and that she will be for the rest of this pregnancy.

I quickly got ready for the day, then went out to the living room. James and Carlos were playing dome hockey, and Kendall was sitting on the couch. James and I were originally going to go alone to the appointment, but I decided Kendall should come too. He does have a right to be there just as much as James did. Of course, Carlos had to come too. He was really excited about the baby and he whined that he wanted to go, so I let him.

I was glad there was no more drama between us. But Mrs. Knight tried to start some. Kendall and her haven't really said much to each other after they had that talk. Apparently Mrs. Knight didn't want Kendall with me because of the baby, but Kendall still stayed with me. I didn't know why Mrs. Knight was acting like this. She always supported us before, but now she wasn't. She didn't want to support Kendall and my relationship anymore, and I didn't like it. I wish she would go back to loving, supporting mother I know her to be. I really miss it.

"You guys ready?" I asked.

"Yes!" Carlos exclaimed excitedly.

I chuckled and grabbed the car keys off the counter.

"Nu-huh you're not driving." Kendall said.

"I know. I was just going to give them to you." I said.

"Sure." Kendall said.

I rolled my eyes and smacked Kendall in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Kendall asked.

I shrugged. "I just felt like doing it."

"That's no excuse." Kendall said.

"Yes it is." I said.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Guys! I really want to see the baby, and you're making us late." Carlos said.

"Jeez Carlos calm down." Kendall said.

"Sorry. I'm just really excited." Carlos said.

"Then lets go." I said.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"What's taking the doctor so long?" Carlos asked.

"Just relax Carlos. He'll be here soon." I said.

Carlos sat back down in the chair, and pouted. I was laying on the hospital bed, and Kendall was sitting next to me. James was sitting next to Carlos, reading a fashion magazine. We all looked up when the doctor walked in.

"Hello Logan." he said.

"Hi." I said.

"Ah you brought the whole gang I see." the doctor said.

I chuckled. "Yeah, Carlos really wanted to see the baby."

"Can I?" Carlos asked.

"Of course you can, but I need to talk to Logan about a few things first." Dr. Williams said.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well do you have a birth plan? Its always a good idea to have one." the doctor said.

"Um I actually haven't thought about it." I said.

"That's ok if you don't. You still have plenty of time before this baby comes. But I suggest you have a cesarean section. It would be a lot safer for both you and the baby." the doctor said.

"Wait I have another option?" I asked.

The doctor nodded. "Your body will adjust more and form a temporary birth canal. Once the baby is born, the canal will disintegrate."

"Oh ok." I said.

"But I still recommend a c-section. Giving birth naturally is too risky for you and the baby." Dr. Williams said.

I nodded. "Ok"

"Can I see the baby now?" Carlos asked.

"Carlos, just be patient." James said.

"Its quite alright. I'll set up the ultrasound now." the doctor said.

He turned on the machine, and I lifted up my shirt. I flinched when the doctor squirted the blue gel on my belly. He gently pressed the remote to my stomach, and the screen lit up. I smiled when I saw my baby on the screen.

"Well she still seems to be doing good." the doctor said.

"Look! She's sucking her thumb!" Carlos said.

My head snapped back up at the screen, and I could see my baby sucking on her little thumb. It was absolutely adorable, and I couldn't look away.

"Aw she's so cute." Carlos said.

I smiled. "Yeah she is."

"Ok well that's all for today. You and the baby are both doing good, so you have nothing to worry about. Have a good afternoon." Dr. Williams said.

"Thank you." I said.

The doctor turned the machine off, and wiped the gel off my stomach. He left the room, and I sat up.

"I cant wait for the baby to come. She is so cute." Carlos said.

"Well I'm glad you like her." I said.

"I don't like her. I love her!" Carlos said.

I chuckled and Kendall helped me off the bed.

"Now what?" James asked.

"Ice cream!" Carlos said.

"Carlos, we are not doing everything you want." Kendall said.

"No hang on. Ice cream does sound pretty good." I said.

"Logie, you have to eat healthy." Kendall said.

"I am, but I just want some ice cream. Its not going to hurt to have a little bit." I said.

"Oh please Kendall can we get some?" Carlos asked.

Kendall sighed. "Fine."

We left the hospital, and went to get ice cream. I got a chocolate sundae with extra fudge. I guess I was craving chocolate today. At least it wasn't one of those weird cravings. Those were going to be exciting.

After we had some ice cream, I wanted to look at more clothes, but James said no. He said he was really tired, so I didn't argue with him. The minute we got home, James went to his room. I don't know what was wrong with him. I knew he was tired, but there had to be more to it. I sighed when I heard the bedroom door close.

"Are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, but I'm worried about James." I said.

"Why?" Kendall asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. He just seems upset or something."

"He's just tired, Logie. Don't worry about it." Kendall said.

"Ok" I said.

Kendall wrapped his arms around my waist. "What do you want to do now?"

"Can we just relax for a bit? I'm really tired." I said.

"Sure." Kendall said.

We sat down on the couch, and I cuddled with Kendall. The baby started moving around, but she calmed down after a while.

"When can we go shopping again? I really want to get more stuff." I said.

"Well do it soon ok?"

"Ok"

I laid down in Kendall's lap, and he started playing with my hair. I started to feel relaxed and sleepy. My eyes drooped a few times, but I tried to keep them open. I didn't want to go to sleep right now.

"Go to sleep, Logie." Kendall said.

I nodded and let my eyes close. Today really worn me out, and I didn't even do that much, but I guess being pregnant does that to you.

I really wanted the baby to come, but I still had four months to go. I guess I could wait that long, but I was really excited. I cant wait till my little girl comes into the world. Once she gets here, everything would be complete for me.

I was nervous about the birth though. I didn't want anything to go wrong, and then something happens to my baby. I wanted her to be ok at all times. I wouldn't really care if anything happened to me, I just wanted my daughter to be ok. I just hope when its time for her to be born, nothing bad happens.

**A/N: hI. im sorry for another short chap, but i will update tomorrow. i hope you guys liked this chap. hmm now i want ice cream. well im gonna go get some. bye =D**


	38. Chapter 38

**James POV**

I plopped down on my bed, and let out a long sigh. Today just really sucked. I thought Logan and I were going alone to his appointment, but I was wrong. He decided to bring all of us with him. Why did everyone else have to go? I was the father, and I should've been the only one to go with Logan. Kendall and Carlos really didn't have to be there. It was my baby, not there's.

Its not fair that they have to interfere. Logan said that they belong, but I knew he only wanted his Kendall there with him. Well why should Kendall be there? Kendall's not even the father of the baby, yet I'm the one on the sidelines.

I couldn't even be next to Logan at the hospital. Kendall got to sit with him, and I was forced to sit across the room. I didn't belong there. I belonged next to Logan, but Kendall got in the way.

I should've been the one right there with Logan. I was the one who promised I would at all times. Yeah Kendall made the same promise, but I should be the one there for Logan and the baby. I had every right to, but Kendall wasn't letting that happen.

I still loved Kendall, but now I was getting really upset with him. It just felt like he was taking my daughter away from me. I've almost lost her already, and now it seemed like I was losing her again. I was going to make sure that doesn't happen. That is my baby, and I was going to make sure Kendall knew that.

I sat up when my bedroom door opened. I really needed to start locking the door. At least that way I could be alone and not have to deal with my friends checking up on me.

"James, are you ok?" Carlos asked

"Yeah I'm fine." I said.

"Are you sure? I think Logan's worried about you." Carlos said.

"I'm fine ok? I'm just a little tired." I said.

Carlos closed the door, then sat down next to me.

"James, what's really bothering you?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said.

"Why not?"

"Its kinda stupid."

"James, please just tell me." Carlos said.

I sighed. "Its about Kendall."

"James, you have to move on. I know its hard, but you have to. Kendall is really happy with Logan, so you cant keep thinking about him. Please move on." Carlos said.

"Its not just that. I think Kendall is trying to be the father of my baby." I said.

"No he's not. He just trying to be there for Logan. That's it." Carlos said.

"Well it doesn't seem like that to me. Did you see how he was today?" I asked.

"How was he? Because he didn't seem like anything to me." Carlos said.

"He made sure to sit next to Logan, and I had to sit across the room. I couldn't even sit next to Logan because Kendall was in the way. That's my baby, Carlos, and Kendall's taking her away from me." I said.

"James, he is not doing that. Kendall would never do that ok? Just stop thinking he is." Carlos said.

"But that's how I feel. I don't want my daughter taken away from me." I said.

"And she wont. Just forget about Kendall, and be there for Logan. Don't back down when you just stepped up." Carlos said.

"Ok, but please don't tell Logan about this. I don't want to him think that I'm acting stupid." I said.

"Well you kinda are, but I wont tell him." Carlos said.

"Thanks"

"No problem."

I yawned. "I guess I will take a little nap. It might make me feel better."

"Ok. I'll wake you up later." Carlos said.

I nodded. "Ok"

Carlos stood up from the bed, and left the room. As soon as the door closed, I fell back on my bed.

I guess Carlos was right, which is rare for him to be, but I needed to forget about Kendall. I just cant keep thinking about him. Its just pointless to have feelings for someone when they obviously have feelings for someone else.

I don't know how I will do it, but I will get over Kendall Knight.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

The next day we had rehearsals, and I was not happy. I just wanted to stay home or go down to the pool, but I couldn't. I didn't want to go anywhere because I just had a feeling today was going to be awful.

I was still upset about Kendall, but I tried to forget about it. Logan noticed something was wrong, but I didn't tell him. I just said I was really tired, but I was pretty sure Logan didn't buy it. After a while he left me alone.

The minute we started singing, Gustavo immediately found something wrong with it. That made me feel worse. He yelled at Logan a few times because we would suddenly cry out when the baby kicked him. Carlos got yelled at because he wanted to feel the baby move, and I got in trouble for not paying attention.

After us messing up so many times, Gustavo gave us a small break. We sat down on the couches in the lounge, and it felt good to relax.

"Hey Logan?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"Um are you going to tell Gustavo today?" I asked.

"About what?" Logan asked.

"The baby. Are you going to tell him we're keeping it?" I asked.

"Oh…um… I don't know." Logan said.

"Logan, you cant keep pushing this back. He needs to know." I said.

"Ok fine, but I think you should tell him." Logan said.

"Why me?" I asked.

"Because it was your idea to keep the baby." Logan said.

"Yeah but you're the one carrying it." I said.

"But you wanted to keep it, so you tell Gustavo." Logan said.

"Fine." I said.

"Guys, Gustavo wants you back now." Kelly said.

"Ok, but I need to tell Gustavo something. Can you bring him out here?" I asked.

Kelly nodded, then went to get Gustavo. A few minutes later, they both entered the lounge.

"This better be important." Gustavo said.

"So Gustavo, you know how Logan is having a baby and everything." I said.

"Yeah its pretty obvious. I mean look at him." Gustavo said.

Logan wrapped his arms around his mid-section, and let out a small whimper. Kendall pulled Logan closer to him, and he kissed his head.

"Yeah well, we decided to keep the baby." I said.

"What!" Gustavo yelled.

"Yup. We're keeping it." I said.

"No you're not! You are getting rid of that monster." Gustavo said.

"But why? She hasn't done anything wrong." Logan said.

"You're having a girl?" Kelly asked.

Logan smiled. "Yeah."

"Aw" Kelly said.

"Enough! That baby is not staying. It will just ruin the band." Gustavo said.

"How will she ruin the band?" Logan asked.

"Oh I don't know. You will have no time to record songs, practice dancing, and tour. That thing will destroy everything." Gustavo said.

"But you cant get rid of her. She is so cute and she sucks her thumb." Carlos said.

"I don't care what it does. Its not staying, so get rid of it." Gustavo said.

"Please just let me keep her. I love her so much and I cant give her up. I need her and she needs me." Logan said.

"Well in that case…..the answer is still no!" Gustavo said.

"Please let me keep her." Logan said.

"Yeah Gustavo let us keep her. Logan and I will take care of her, and I promise nothing will happen to the band." I said.

"James, I'll be there too. Its not just you." Kendall said.

"Well its my baby." I said.

Kendall stood up. "What?"

"James." Carlos warned.

"Well it is." I said.

"Is that why you've been so pissy?" Kendall asked.

"I wouldn't be if you would just stay away from my baby." I said.

"I'm not doing anything. I'm just trying to be there for Logan." Kendall said.

"Or you're trying to be the father of my baby." I said.

"That is not what I'm trying to do. I'm letting you step up like you wanted." Kendall said.

"Well maybe you need to back off." I said.

"Guys" Logan said.

"Why should I back off? I'm not a threat to you." Kendall said.

"Yes you are. You're trying to take my baby away from me." I said.

"Guys" Logan said.

"I am not doing that, James. What the hell is your problem?" Kendall asked.

"You are!" I said.

"Stop!"

We both stopped and turned to Logan. He was breathing heavily and he didn't look too good. I didn't know if it was because he was upset with us, or because of something else. I got my answer when he clutched his stomach and let out a small cry.

"Logie, are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"I just need to rest ok? I don't feel that good." Logan said.

"See what you did." Kendall said.

"Me? Its your fault this happened." I said.

"Its both of you. Just knock it off ok? I'm sick of you guys arguing, especially over something like this. So just stop it and leave me alone." Logan said.

"Logie" Kendall said.

Logan shook his head, then left the studio. Carlos looked at me, then ran after Logan. Kendall glared at me, and left the studio as well. Gustavo and Kelly looked at me awkwardly, then they left the lounge. I doubt Gustavo would let us keep the baby now. Since we argue over it, there is no way we could keep it.

I just knew today was going to be horrible. Kendall and I are fighting again, and now Logan is upset with us. He should be more upset with Kendall and not me. I didn't do anything. Kendall is the one who is trying to ruin everything.

I guess the drama wasn't over like everyone thought. It was still here, and I had a feeling it will be for a while.

**A/N: See what James does. i swear i should hit him lol. well yeah there is some drama now, and its all thanks to James. so you guys can go thank pretty boy for that. hope the chap wasnt bad. bye =D**


	39. Chapter 39

**Kendall's POV**

I was so pissed off with James right now. How could he do something like that? He was acting really stupid and immature. I wasn't trying to take his baby away from him. I was just trying to be there for Logan, and James was getting mad at me. I didn't even do anything, and now Logan isn't happy with me either.

I walked out of the studio, and found Carlos and Logan in the parking lot. Logan was obviously still upset, and Carlos was rubbing his back.

"Logie, are you ok?" I asked.

"N-no. I don't feel that good." he said.

"Just relax and take it easy. You need to be careful remember" I said.

"Yeah I know, but you guys have to stop fighting." Logan said.

"I'm sorry. James was just being stupid, and I lost it." I said.

"Well don't. You guys know I cant handle all the stress." Logan said.

"I'm sorry. It wont happen again." I said.

"It better not. The baby doesn't like it either." Logan said.

"Is she kicking you?" I asked.

"Kinda, but I know she probably cant stand the yelling." Logan said.

"I'm sorry, Logie. I will control myself from now on. I don't want to make you sick." I said.

"I'll be ok. I just feel a little dizzy." Logan said.

"Lets go home so you can rest." I said.

"Wait what about James?" Carlos asked.

"He can walk." I said.

"No lets just wait for him." Logan said.

"But Logie you don't feel good. We don't have time to wait for James to get his grumpy ass out here." I said.

"I'm fine. Please just wait for him." Logan said.

"Fine, but I'm not sitting up front. Carlos can." I said.

We waited a few minutes, then James appeared. I handed him the keys and he yanked them from my hand. I rolled my eyes and climbed into the backseat with Logan. The whole way back was silent. No one said anything to each other. Logan and I whispered about the baby from the backseat, but that was it. Even Carlos was silent, and he usually isn't.

We finally got back to the Palm Woods, and James immediately went to the pool. Carlos sighed, then followed him. I was hoping Carlos could somehow cheer up James. Carlos could cheer up practically everyone.

Logan and I went up to the apartment, and my mom looked at us. As soon as we made eye contact, she looked away. I sighed and walked to the bedroom with Logan. He plopped down on his bed, and fell asleep. I wasn't that tired, but snuggling up with Logan sounded pretty good right now.

I took off my shoes, then I removed Logan's I climbed into be with him, and wrapped my arms around him. After a few minutes of listening to Logan's soft breathing, I fell asleep.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

I woke up when I felt someone shaking me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The room was pitch black, except for the the little bit of light that was coming through the window. I didn't mean to sleep this late, but I guess I was that tired. Logan was sitting on the foot of the bed, and he was playing with his hands.

"Logie, what's wrong? Are you ok?" I asked.

"No." he said.

"Babe what's wrong?" I asked.

"Never mind. Its stupid." Logan said.

"Logie, what's wrong? Do you need anything?" I asked.

Logan nodded his head.

"What do you need?" I asked.

"Chocolate" he whispered.

"Chocolate?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, but I'm really craving it." Logan said.

"No its ok. I'll find you some." I said.

"I already checked. We don't have any." Logan said.

"Are you sure? Did you even check Carlos's secret candy drawer?" I asked.

"Yeah, he must've ate it all. Can you get me some?" Logan asked.

"Um…I don't know, Logie. Its really late and I don't think any stores are open." I said.

"Walmart is. They are always open." Logan said.

"Logie, its really late and…"

"Please Kendall. I need this."

I sighed. "Ok I'll get you some."

Logan kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

"No problem." I said.

I got out of bed and put my shoes on. I gave Logan a quick kiss, then I left the apartment. I couldn't believe Logan was craving chocolate, and at three in the morning. I really didn't feel like going anywhere, but Logan really needed this. And I could never say no to Logan.

I drove to the nearest Walmart, and went inside. The place was absolutely dead. At least I wouldn't have to deal with crazy shoppers and lines. I found the candy aisle , and looked for the chocolate. I mentally slapped myself when I realized I forgot to ask what kind of chocolate Logan wanted. I guess I will get different kinds.

I picked up a bag of milk, white and dark chocolate. Logan can just decide which kind he wants. As I paid for the candy, the cashier gave me a weird look. She was probably trying to figure out what a teenage boy was doing buying chocolate at three a.m. Of course I wasn't going to tell her it was for my pregnant boyfriend. She would probably think I'm high or something.

I left the store and headed back to the Palm Woods. I sleepily walked into the apartment, and went into my room. I took my shoes off, then sat down on the bed. Logan was laying down, and I could hear him snoring softly.

I gently shook him. "Logie. Logie, wake up."

Logan stirred in his sleep, then sat up. He let out a yawn and rubbed his eyes.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"I got you some chocolate." I said.

"Oh. I'm sorry Kenny, but I don't want it anymore. I just really want to sleep." Logan said.

"Oh ok." I said.

"I'm sorry. It was just taking you a long time, so I changed my mind." Logan said.

"Its ok, Logie. Just go back to sleep." I said.

Logan nodded, then fell back asleep. I sighed and stood up from the bed. I went into the kitchen, and placed the three bags of chocolate on the counter. I guess Logan can eat them when he wakes up. If he wants it that is.

I went back into the room, and climbed into bed with Logan. I wrapped my arms around him, and fell asleep instantly.

**A/N: wow i update and its this stupid chap. im so sorry everyone. i dont know why i wrote it. it was kinda random. anywho hope you guys liked it anyway lol. =D**


	40. Chapter 40

**Logan's POV**

I was glad Gustavo finally gave me maternity leave. At first he didn't want to, but Kelly made him. She pulled a letter opener on him, so he gave in.

I was so happy I didn't have to go to work anymore. Rehearsals drained me pretty quickly, and now I don't have to worry about it. I would still get tired when I was at home, but at least I wasn't at work. When I was home I could rest whenever I wanted, but when I was at the studio I couldn't. I was so glad I could just stay home and relax.

Even though I was home all the time, I still hated it. At first I loved it, but now I couldn't stand it. I got really lonely sometimes, and I missed Kendall. While he was at the studio, I had no one to talk to. I tried talking to Katie, but she wasn't that interested. Mrs. Knight was just the same. I don't know why she was mad at me. I didn't really do anything. I wish she would go back to her normal self.

I didn't like how everyone was fighting. Well almost everyone. Kendall and Mrs. Knight still haven't said anything to each other, and now James and Kendall weren't talking. They got into this fight the other day about the baby. James was accusing Kendall of being too involved with the baby, and Kendall got upset because James said that. It was a really stupid and unnecessary fight. Now both of them ignored each other, and it bugged me.

I tried talking to James, but didn't talk to me. I didn't even do anything to him, so why was I getting ignored? I had to talk to him about the baby, but I don't know if he would even listen to me.

I sat on the orange couch, waiting for my friends to come home. Mrs. Knight and Katie left the apartment, so I was all alone. I felt like calling Camille, but Steve probably wont let her get near me. I really hate that guy.

After going through all the channels on tv, and not finding anything to watch, I turned it off. I was really bored and a little hungry. I guess I could get into those bags of chocolate Kendall bought for me, but I wasn't really craving just chocolate. I wanted something that was both sweet and salty.

I stood up from the couch, and went through the kitchen. There was only two bags of chocolate left, and I had feeling Carlos stole the other one. That sneaky bastard.

I decided to go through Carlos's 'secret' candy drawer. I found a bag of m&m's, so I set those aside. I didn't remember seeing those when I went on my chocolate hunt a few nights ago. I found a bag of sour cream and onion chips, so I settled for those. I don't really like this chips, but for some odd reason I was craving them.

I opened the bag of m&m's and poured them in the chip bag. I stuck my hand in the chip bag, and tried it. It was actually pretty good. It was both sweet and salty. A little onion-y, but I'll live.

I went back to the couch, and munched away on my sweet and salty creation. I looked up when the front door opened. Kendall, James and Carlos walked into the apartment.

" 'Bout time." I said.

"Well hi to you too." Kendall said.

"Sorry. I was just really lonely." I said.

Kendall walked over and gave me a kiss on the lips.

"Why do you taste like…."

"Onions?"

"Yeah"

"The chips." I said.

"Hey! Those are mine." Carlos said.

"Not anymore." I said popping another chip in my mouth.

"Now you ruined them with your pregnancy-ness stuff." Carlos said.

"Yeah I guess I did." I said.

Carlos stuck his tongue out at me, then went into the kitchen to find another snack. James rolled his eyes and went to his room.

"Wait don't you hate those chips?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, but I'm craving them. I also added something to make them better." I said.

"And what is that?" Kendall asked.

"m&m's. it makes this snack sweet and salty." I said.

"Logie, I love you, but that's gross." Kendall said.

"Try some." I said.

"No thanks." Kendall said.

"I will!" Carlos said.

I quickly pulled the bag away from him.

"Nuh-uh. You said I ruined them." I said.

"Its ok I forgive you. Now can I have some?" Carlos asked.

I rolled my eyes and let Carlos stick his hand in the bag. He pulled out a handful, and shoved it in his mouth.

"Mmm." Carlos said.

"Its good, right?" I asked.

"Its really good. Logan, you really are a genius." Carlos said.

"Yeah." I said.

"You guys are gross." Kendall said.

"Well you're not pregnant or like Carlos, so you wouldn't understand how good this is to us." I said.

"Its still gross. Please tell me your cravings don't get any worse." Kendall said.

"I don't know. We'll see." I said.

Carlos grabbed the chip bag, then ran to his room.

"Hey!" I yelled.

"Thanks Carlos." Kendall said.

I looked over at Kendall and shot him a glare.

"What?" he asked.

"He took my chips, and you're happy about it." I said.

"Aw Logie, they were gross anyway." Kendall said.

"This isn't fair." I said.

I heard the front door open, and my head snapped in that direction. James was about to walk out of the apartment.

"James." I said.

He turned around. "What?"

"I need you to help me pick out baby names." I said.

"Cant you ask Kendall to help you? That's what he's there for." James said.

"But I need your help too." I said.

James sighed, then closed the door. He walked over t the couch, and I scooted over so I was in the middle of Kendall and James. I picked up the baby book off the coffee table, and handed it to James.

"You go through it, and I will tell you which ones I like." I said.

James nodded and started going through the book.

"Abby?" he asked.

"No" I said.

"Adriana?"

"Nah"

"Alice?"

"Eh"

"Barbie?" James asked.

"James, be serious." I said.

"That name works, Logie. If your daughter turns out like James, she would be a plastic whore." Kendall said.

"Hey! My daughter is not a whore." I said.

"Sorry" Kendall said.

James rolled his eyes, then turned back to the book.

"How about Brooke?" he asked.

"We are not naming her after your mom." I said.

"I'm just going to skip a few pages. Lets try the E's" James said.

"Ok." I said.

"Ella?"

"No?"

"Emma?"

"Nah. That name is used too much." I said.

"What are you guys doing?" Carlos asked as he entered the living room.

"None of your business chip snatcher." I said.

"We're looking at names." James said.

"Cool. Can I help?" Carlos asked.

"Um….." I said.

Carlos ignored me, and walked behind the couch. He looked over James's shoulder to get a better look of the baby book.

"What about Esperanza?" Carlos asked.

"Nah." I said.

"Ok then. Esmeralda?" Carlos asked.

"That's pretty" James said.

"Keep going. Skip to the M's." I said.

"Mia?"

"No"

"Monica?"

"No"

"Aw c'mon Logan. Its cute." James said.

"Just keep looking." I said.

"Madison?"

"Yes"

"Nah"

"James!" I said.

"What? I don't like it." James said.

"But I do." I said.

"Well I like Monica." James said.

"Fine we'll consider it ok?"

"Ok."

I grabbed the book and started going trough it. I skipped to the R's, and read a few names.

"Rachael?"

"No"

"Renee?"

James shook his head. "No."

I rolled my eyes, then skipped to the T's. I didn't see anything, so I went back a letter.

"Oooh Sapphire." James said.

"No. Doesn't fit." I said.

"Selene?" Kendall asked.

"Its ok." I said.

"Sierra?" James asked.

"Eh" I said.

"Logan, just pick one." James said.

"Its not that easy. Our daughter will have this name for her entire life. It has to be good." I said.

"Just pick Carlos." Carlos said.

"If you haven't noticed I'm having a girl." I said.

"Then Carlota" Carlos said.

I stuck my finger in my mouth and made a gagging noise. Carlos huffed then went back into the kitchen.

"Just pick one." James said.

"Wait." I said.

"If you don't, then her name is going to be Monica." James said.

I looked back at the book, then closed my eyes. I placed my finger on one of the pages, then opened my eyes.

"Savannah" I whispered.

"That's pretty." Kendall said.

"So you want to name our daughter after grass?" James asked.

"You don't like it?" I asked.

"Not really. I still like Monica." James said.

"Hmm Savannah Monica Diamond." I said.

"Wait Diamond?" James asked.

"Yeah. I decided she should have your last name." I said.

James smiled. "Thanks"

"What do you think of this? Savannah Madison Diamond." I asked.

"Its ok, but I like the first one better." James said.

"Which one do you like, Kendall?" I asked.

"I don't know. You guys decide. Its your baby." Kendall said.

"Kendall." I said.

Kendall stood up and went to our room, slamming the door hard.

"Anyway. I still like Monica." James said.

"Can we talk about this later?" I asked.

"Yeah." James said.

I stood up from the couch, then went to my room. I really wanted to know what was bothering Kendall. I knocked on the door, then went inside. Kendall was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor.

"Kenny?" I asked.

He looked up at me. "Hey."

I walked over to his bed, and sat down next to him.

"Kendall, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. Its just that…..I feel a little jealous." Kendall said.

"I'm sorry, Kenny." I said.

"Its not your fault. I just wish I could help you pick out names." Kendall said.

"I know, but you can help me pick out other things. Like clothes, and furniture and that sort of stuff." I said.

"Yeah ok." Kendall said.

"Don't worry about it ok?"

"Ok"

I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips. He smiled into the kiss, but pulled away.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You still taste like onions." Kendall said.

"I guess I will fix that." I said.

"Yeah I think you should." Kendall said.

I rolled my eyes, then stood up from the bed.

"C'mon. Lets go back out there, and we can cuddle. I haven't seen you all day." I said.

Kendall nodded, and took my hand. We went back into the living room, and we snuggled on the couch. James was still looking at the book, and Carlos had decided to join him. I really liked the name Savannah, but James like the name Monica.

We really need to make a decision before the baby gets here.

**A/N:Hi i decided to post the next chap. lol i dont know why, but i liked this chap. anyway what name do you guys like. do you agree with Logan or James? i will update tomorrow. bye =D**


	41. Chapter 41

**James's POV**

While Logan and I were looking at baby names, Kendall decided to ruin everything by getting upset. He went to his room and slammed the door. I thought he was being really stupid, but this time I decided not to say anything.

The last time I opened my mouth, Kendall and I got in a fight, causing Logan to get upset with both of us. I was pretty sure I was forgiven, but I had to make sure I don't upset Logan anymore. Next time Logan might not forgive me, and I didn't want that.

Logan and I found some really pretty names, but Logan was picky. I liked the name Monica, but he liked the name Savannah. I didn't know how we were going to settle this, but we had to soon. I was going to try and get him to pick the name I chose.

"What name do you like?" I asked.

"You mean the ones you guys picked?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah which one is better?" I asked.

"They're both pretty, but you should just name her Carlota." Carlos said.

"Carlos, I'm being serious." I said.

"So am I." Carlos said.

I rolled my eyes. "Never mind."

"I'm sorry, James. I'll be serious." Carlos said.

"Ok then which one do you like?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"Carlos!"

"I'm kidding. Um I guess Savannah is my favorite." Carlos said.

"No its not. You like Monica." I said.

"But you asked which one I liked." Carlos said.

"Yeah and you like Monica." I said.

"But….."

"Thanks for your opinion, buddy." I said.

I continued going through the baby book with Carlos, but I still didn't see any other names I liked. Logan and Kendall came back into the living room, and they cuddled on the couch. I did my best to not get up from the couch and leave the apartment. If I did that, Logan would question me later. And I didn't want him asking me a lot of stupid questions.

"Logan?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you like the name Savannah? I mean its ok, but does it really fit with our daughter?" I asked.

"I think it does. Why?" Logan asked.

"Well because I think the name Monica fits her better. Since she is a Diamond, she has to have a name that fits." I said.

"Uh-huh. Well I still like Savannah. It goes better with Diamond anyway." Logan said.

"But why? Its so…"

"James, just shut up. Its Logan's decision, not yours." Kendall said.

"Its not just his. Its mine too." I said.

Kendall rolled his eyes, then turned away from me. I swear I wanted to hit him. He was really starting to piss me off.

"Kendall, why are you being so stupid?" I asked.

"Me? What about you?" Kendall asked.

"I'm not doing anything. You're the one throwing a fit because you cant help pick out names. Is someone jealous that their opinion doesn't matter?" I asked.

"James, knock it off." Logan said.

"Why? Its true." I said.

"Just stop ok? I don't want you guys fighting again. Its really annoying." Logan said.

"Ok I'm sorry. I wont do it anymore." I said.

"Yeah right. You probably will do it again. You cant keep promises." Kendall said.

"Kendall, please stop." Logan said.

"What do you mean I cant keep promises? You're the one you cant do that." I said.

"Me? I've kept a lot of promises." Kendall said.

"No you haven't. You've lied and hurt Logan multiple time even when you promised you wouldn't." I said.

"James stop." Logan said.

"Its true Logan, and you know it." I said.

"I know its true, but you've done the same thing." Logan said.

"And I'm sorry." I said.

"No you're not. You will probably hurt Logan again." Kendall said.

"I wouldn't do that. You would." I said.

Kendall stood up, and we got in each others faces.

"What are you going to do, Knight?" I asked.

"Jack up your face pretty boy." Kendall said.

"Do it." I said.

"Guys knock it off. I'm so sick of you two arguing." Logan said.

"But he's the one who starts it." I said.

"I didn't do anything." Kendall said.

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Stop! Just stop it!" Logan yelled.

Kendall and I glared at each other, then backed away.

"If you guys keep doing this, I'll leave. I cant take it anymore." Logan said.

"No Logie don't leave." Kendall said.

"Then stop fighting. If I wasn't here, would you keep fighting? Or would you stop?" Logan asked.

"I'm sorry, Logan." I said.

"Sorry doesn't cut it anymore. You guys have said that so many times, and it doesn't mean anything to me anymore. If you both were really sorry, you would stop this for good." Logan said.

Logan stood up from the couch, and went to his room. Kendall let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. We really needed to stop fighting, or else we would lose Logan for good.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

That night I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about Logan. I didn't want him to go back to Minnesota and raise the baby on his own. We all needed Logan here with us. The only way Logan wouldn't leave was if Kendall and I stopped fighting, but it was hard. We both hated each other, even though before we had a thing for each other.

It seemed like every time I fought with Kendall, all my romantic feelings for him disappeared. So I was using that to try and forget about him. But if I keep fighting with him, I will lose him as a friend.

I tossed and turned, but I still couldn't fall asleep. I looked over at Carlos's bed, and he was sound asleep. I didn't know how he could always sleep so peacefully.

I got out of bed, and quietly left the room. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I grabbed a cup from the cupboard, and filled it with water. I turned around when I heard someone walk into the living room. Kendall walked in with his shoes and jacket on.

"What are you doing up?" Kendall asked.

"Getting water. What are you doing?" I asked.

"Going out to get Logan something." Kendall said.

"I'll do it." I said.

"No I will. He asked me." Kendall said.

"Yeah but I'm also here for him, so I'll go." I said.

"No."

"Yes."

"James, I got it." Kendall said.

"Lets just both go." I said.

Kendall sighed. "Fine."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"What did he want again?" I asked as we went down another food aisle.

"Um I think he wanted more of those nasty chips." Kendall said.

I yawned. "Ok"

"You tired?" Kendall asked.

"A little." I said.

"You could've stayed home." Kendall said.

"Nah. This is fun." I said.

"Really?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah. I've never been at Walmart at two in the morning." I said.

Kendall chuckled. "Yeah"

"Kendall, I'm really sorry for how I've been acting." I said.

"Why were you getting mad at me though? I didn't do anything to you." Kendall said.

"It just felt like you were more involved with the baby then I am. You just made me jealous." I said.

"Wow James Diamond jealous. That's a new one." Kendall said.

"I'm sorry for acting like a jerk." I said.

"Its ok. I know where you're coming from." Kendall said.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah I was jealous of you too. You get to be the father of Logan's baby. That's something I've always wanted, but you beat me to it." Kendall said.

"I'm so sorry, Kendall." I said.

"Its ok. Maybe later on Logan and I can have a baby." Kendall said.

"That would be good." I said.

"Yeah." Kendall said.

"Hey Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I have this idea to cheer Logan up. Since he is upset and everything." I said.

"What is it?" Kendall asked.

"Lets throw him a baby shower." I said.

"James, that's a great idea! He'll love that." Kendall said.

"You really think he will?" I asked.

"Yes! He will be so happy." Kendall said.

"Ok. When should we have it?" I asked.

"Um lets wait a while ok? I want my mom to help out, but she isn't talking to me. So I want to fix that first." Kendall said.

"So do you want to wait a few weeks or months?" I asked.

"Lets try weeks first, and if that doesn't work, then we will try next month." Kendall said.

"Ok sounds good." I said.

"I hope this make him happy."

I smiled. "I think it will."


	42. Chapter 42

**Kendall's POV**

I was glad James and I finally made up. We both understood why we were upset, so we fixed it. The fights we had were really stupid and unnecessary. It was just causing more drama and stress for us, but mostly for Logan. He was the one suffering, and it was because of us. That's why James and I couldn't keep fighting. It wasn't worth our friendship or losing Logan.

Things started to get better since James and I made up. The little bit of drama that did get started was gone now. The only thing I had to worry about now was Logan and my mom.

Logan was now six months pregnant, and he would complain about a few things. His back and feet were killing him all the time. I tried to make him feel better, but there was only so much I could do.

My mom still wasn't talking to me, and I hated it. I tried talking to her, but I would never get a response. Our relationship wasn't the same anymore. I missed talking to my mom, even if it was a random conversation. There were so many things I wanted to talk to her about, but I never could. It almost seemed like I didn't have a mother anymore.

Logan and I were spending our afternoon on the couch. We were watching tv, but we quickly lost interest. Both of us were really tired, so we were trying to relax. Gustavo worked me pretty hard this morning. Since Logan couldn't rehearse with us, Gustavo worked us ten times harder.

I felt like taking a nap, but I couldn't. Every time Logan and I tried to get comfortable, it wouldn't work. I let my eyes close, but they shot open when Logan spoke up.

"I feel so fat. I'm fat huh?" he asked.

"No you're not, Logie." I said.

"Yes I am. Look at this." Logan said pointing at his stomach.

"Logie, you are not fat ok? You're beautiful." I said.

Logan sighed. "I guess I don't see it."

"But I see it." I said.

"Yeah but that's because you love me. So of course you're going to say that. I bet everyone else thinks I'm a fat freak." Logan said.

"You wanna make a bet?" I asked.

"I guess." Logan said.

"Watch I bet James and Carlos think you look fine." I said.

"I doubt it." Logan said.

Carlos and James walked into the living room with their swim stuff.

"Hey guys, we're going down to the pool." Carlos said.

"Again?" I asked.

"Carlos wants to go because Stephanie is down there." James said.

"Oh ok. Hey before you guys head out, can you please tell Logan he looks fine?" I asked.

"Logan, stop worrying about your weight. You look good." James said.

"I do?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. Your skin has this glow and it makes me kinda jealous." James said.

"But I'm talking about my stomach. It looks like I swallowed a freakin basketball." Logan said.

"Did you? Because mine's gone." Carlos said.

"Carlos!" James said.

"I was just kidding. Jeez." Carlos said.

"Well you're not supposed to joke with pregnant people dumbass." Logan said.

"Um…..I'm gonna go before Logan eats me." Carlos said.

"Then leave you stupid helmet wearing corndog eater!" Logan said.

Carlos quickly ran out of the apartment. James smiled nervously, then left.

"Logie, are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry for blowing up like that. I'm sorry." Logan said.

"Aw Logie its ok." I said.

"N-no its not. I yelled at C-Carlos for n-nothing, and now he's mad at m-me." Logan sobbed.

"Logie, please don't cry. I promise Carlos isn't mad ok? He's just…not used to your new behavior." I said.

"But I hate it. I hate everything about being pregnant." Logan said.

"I know babe, but you only have three months left. That's not so bad." I said.

"Yeah but its still a long time." Logan said.

"Don't worry, Logie. It will go by really fast." I said.

Logan nodded and rested his head back on my shoulder. We both looked up when the apartment door opened. I thought it was James and Carlos, but it was my mom. She set her keys down, then went to her room. I let out a sigh and rested my head against the couch.

"Why don't you talk to her? Maybe you should make the first move." Logan said.

"Yeah I guess I could do that. I really miss her." I said.

Logan gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck."

I nodded, then stood up from the couch. I went to my mom's room and knocked on the door. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. My mom was sitting on her bed, and she looked up when I entered her room.

"Mom, I need to talk to you." I said.

"Sit down honey." she said.

I slowly walked over to my mom, and sat down next to her.

"Mom, I'm really sorry." I said.

"No honey I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to force you to do something you didn't like. I know you love Logan and that baby very much, and I'm sorry for trying to take them away from you." my mom said.

"Why did you try to do it?" I asked.

"I didn't want you to get hurt. I knew it was going to be hard for you to try and be there for the baby when she's not even yours. I just didn't want you to get hurt while trying to care for that baby." my mom said.

"Thanks for looking out for me, but I promise I wont get hurt. I know what I'm doing." I said.

"Do you?" my mom asked.

"Yeah I do. And I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was just upset and I didn't mean to." I said.

"Its ok sweetie. We both did things we're not proud of." my mom said.

"Can we just forget about everything that happened between us? I really miss you." I said.

My mom wrapped me in a hug. "I missed you too honey. And I promise to never hurt you like that again."

"I love you mom." I said.

"I love you too." she said.

We held onto each other for a few minutes, then we pulled apart.

"So how are you and Logan? Is everything ok?" my mom asked.

"Yeah we're doing good, but its just really hard. I don't know what to do sometimes." I said.

"What do you mean?" my mom asked.

"Well I cant always cheer him up with his mood swings. His back is always killing him, and he cant sleep right. I just feel like I cant help him no matter how hard I try." I said.

"Its ok sweetie, but I'm sure you're doing a great job taking care of him. I think I could help him with a few things." my mom said.

"Really? How?" I asked.

"Well I was pregnant twice, so I know what he's going through. I can help him." my mom said.

"Thanks mom." I said.

"You're welcome" she said.

My mom and I left her room, and went back into the living room. Logan was still sitting on the couch, and he was playing with his hands. He smiled when he saw my mom and I come in.

My mom immediately pulled Logan into a hug, and apologized to him too. I was glad no one was fighting anymore. I made up with both my mom and James, so now everything can be normal again.

That night I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Everything seemed fine again, and that made me happy. I just hope the next three months go by easy and fast. I was really excited for the baby to get here. And I cant wait for her to come.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

I woke up when I felt the bed dip, then Logan groaning. I sat up and turned to him. He was sitting up and rubbing his lower back.

"Logie, are you ok?" I asked.

"My back is just killing me." he said.

"I'll rub it for you." I said.

Logan nodded, and I scooted closer to him. I sat behind him, and gently kneaded my fingers into his back.

"Is that ok or am I too rough?" I asked.

"You're not rough enough. Don't be afraid to really dig in there." Logan said.

I nodded, and rubbed his back a little harder. Logan let out a moan as I dug my fingers into his lower back. I moved my hand up to his neck and rubbed it, trying to get rid of the knots he had.

"You're so tense, Logie." I said.

"Yeah. Kendall, that feels so good." Logan moaned.

I felt myself swell in my pajama bottoms at what Logan said. I haven't heard Logan moan my name in a long time, and I needed to fix that.

"Is that better?" I asked.

"Yeah. Thank you." Logan said.

I kissed the back of Logan's neck. "No problem."

Logan turned around, and crashed our lips together. I was taken aback at first, but I relaxed and kissed him back. Logan moaned when I nibbled on his bottom lip. Logan parted his lips, and I stuck my tongue in, mapping out his entire mouth.

I lowered Logan on his back, and I attached my lips to his neck. I groaned when I felt Logan's knee press against my growing bulge. I kissed all along his neck, then I sucked harshly on his pulse point. My hands traveled down his body, and I gently squeezed Logan's crotch.

"K-Kendall. I need you." he said.

I went to take Logan's shirt off, but he slapped my hands away.

"Logie, its fine." I said.

"I don't want it off ok?" Logan asked.

I sighed, but listened to him anyway. I reached for his pajama bottoms, and pulled them off along with his boxers. I smirked when Logan's cock sprang free. I grabbed his member, and gently stroked it. Logan let out a long moan and started to thrust in my hand. I put my lips to the tip, and licked around the area. I sucked on the head, then took his whole length in my mouth.

"Mmm Kendall." Logan moaned.

I bobbed my head up and down his cock, then pulled off with a pop. Logan whimpered in protest.

"I don't want you to cum yet." I said.

I spread Logan's legs open, but he pushed my hands away.

"Take me from behind." he said.

I smirked. Logan got on his hands and knees, and I went behind him. I put two of my fingers in my mouth, and sucked on them. Once they were lubricated enough, I brought them to Logan's entrance. He moaned when I circled his pink hole with my finger. I gently pushed one finger in, then I added another. Logan hissed in pain when I started to trust my digits in and out of him. I stretched Logan's opening, then removed my fingers.

I removed my pajama bottoms and boxers, then slicked my hard cock with saliva. I lined my cock up with Logan's entrance, and I gently pushed in. Logan let out loud moan when I entered him. I waited for Logan to tell me to continue, then I started to thrust.

"F-faster Kendall." Logan moaned.

I picked up the pace, but I tried to be careful with Logan and the baby. Logan gripped the sheets tightly as I pounded into him. He let out a scream of pleasure when I hit that certain spot. I pulled out, then hit that spot dead on, making Logan moan. I reached in the front of Logan, and grabbed his cock. I started to pump it in time with my thrusts.

"K-Kendall…..I'm so c-close." Logan said.

"Me too." I said.

I pulled out of Logan, then slammed back into him. He let out a long moan when I hit that certain spot again. I picked up the pace and stroked his cock faster. Logan screamed my name as he came all over my hand and his stomach. I let out a grunt when I felt Logan's walls clenching around my member. I moaned Logan's name as I released inside of him.

I gently pulled my now soft cock out of Logan, then collapsed next to him. I grabbed a couple of tissues off the nightstand, and cleaned Logan and myself up. We pulled our pajamas back on, and snuggled under the covers. I gave Logan a kiss on the head, and he smiled.

"I love you, Kenny."

"I love you too, Logie."

**A/N: Hi. so yeah mama knight and Kendall finally made up. now things seem better. for now anyway. so i decided to throw in a little kogan sexy time. they havent done that in a while, so i hope you enjoyed the little smut. even if it was kinda rushed. sorry about that. anyway bye for now =D**


	43. Chapter 43

**Logan's POV**

I woke up the next morning feeling really sore. My back was killing me, and so was another area. Last nights events flooded back, and I realized why I was so sore. Kendall pounded into me pretty hard, but it felt so good. We haven't done that in it what seemed like forever, so I was glad we got to do those things again.

I slowly sat up, and let out a groan. I hated being so sore all the time. Kendall would massage me whenever I had an ache, but that can only do so much. I really wanted this pregnancy to end, but I still had three months left. It wasn't terribly long, but it wasn't exactly great either. I really wanted the baby to be here.

I looked over at Kendall, and found him still asleep. I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He stirred in his sleep, and rolled over onto his side. I got out of bed, and headed for the bathroom. After I was clean and dressed, I went out to the living room.

I was really hungry, but I didn't know for what. I could just grab a bowl of cereal, but pancakes sounded pretty good at the moment. Since I was the only one up, I decided to make breakfast. Even though I'm pregnant, I can still do something's. I started making breakfast, but stopped when I heard someone walk into the kitchen.

"Good morning Logan." Mrs. Knight said.

I smiled. "Morning."

"Oh sweetie you don't have to do that. I'll do it ok? You just sit back and relax." Mrs. Knight said.

"Its ok Mama Knight. I got it." I said.

"Honey, I know you can cook, but I want you to take it easy. " Mrs. Knight said.

I sighed. "Ok."

Mrs. Knight took over, and I watched her. I leaned against the counter, and my hand fell to my stomach.

"How is everything?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Its ok." I said.

"Kendall told me about your backaches." Mrs. Knight said.

"He did?" I asked.

"Mhm. He wishes there was more he could do." she said.

"But he's doing fine. I don't want him to worry." I said.

"Well he cares about you, so he is going to worry. How is sleeping? Is that ok or uncomfortable?" Mrs. Knight said.

"Its awful. I can never get comfortable you know? It really sucks." I said.

"I know exactly what you're talking about. When I was pregnant with Kendall, he would kick me all the time. I could never sleep peacefully with him doing that." Mrs. Knight said.

"Well its not the just kicking that bothers me, I just cant sleep right anymore. And there is the backaches, so that makes it worse." I said.

"I used a special pillow when I would sleep. It made things more comfortable for me." Mrs. Knight said.

"Do you still have it?" I asked.

"I'm sorry sweetie I don't. But I can get you one if you'd like." Mrs. Knight said.

"Please? That would probably make me more comfortable." I said.

"Ok I'll get you one today." Mrs. Knight said.

"Thanks Mama Knight." I said.

"You're welcome honey." she said.

Mrs. Knight finished with breakfast, and I woke everyone up. After breakfast was over, I sat down on the couch with Kendall. James and Carlos played a little bit of dome hockey, and Mrs. Knight and Katie went shopping.

"Hey Logan?" James asked.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Kendall and I want to talk to you about something." James said.

"About what?" I asked.

"James came up awesome idea for you." Kendall said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We were thinking about throwing you a baby shower." James said.

"A baby shower? For me?" I asked.

"Well you're the only one having a baby." Kendall said.

"I know, but I never thought of having a baby shower." I said.

"Well now you can. We just thought it would make you happy." James said.

I smiled. "Thanks guys."

"You're welcome, Logie." Kendall said.

"Can I help plan it?" Carlos asked.

"Of course you can." James said.

"Yes! Don't worry Logan, I will make sure this is the best baby shower you've ever had." Carlos said.

I chuckled. "I think this will be my only one."

"You don't want another baby?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. Its really hard, and I don't think I want to deal with this again." I said.

"Would you if it was my baby?" Kendall asked.

"You want to have a baby with me?" I asked.

"Yeah. I was thinking a few years after this one is born, you and I could start a family." Kendall said.

"I would love that." I said.

"Yes! There is going to be a mini James and Kendall." Carlos said.

"I don't think I'm having a mini James anymore. Unless she comes out looking more like James then me." I said.

"I hope she does." James said.

"What?" I asked.

"I mean…..um….I hope she looks like both of us." James said.

"That is not what you said." I said.

"Yes it was."

"No it wasn't."

"Guys, just chill ok? Does it really matter what James said?" Kendall asked.

"No not really." I said.

"Hey!" James said.

"Anyway we need to go to Rocque Records." Kendall said.

"I thought Gustavo gave you guys the day off today?" I asked.

"He did, but he's still at the studio writing a song, and I really need to talk to him." Kendall said.

"About what?" I asked.

"The baby shower." Kendall said.

"Why would you need to…oh no! Kendall you cant make him pay for it." I said.

"Why not? He said he would pay for all of our expenses." Kendall said.

"Yeah but he meant other things, like this apartment. Not a baby shower." I said.

"Logan, its fine. I promise he will say yes. He has to." Kendall said.

"He wont." I said.

"Then lets find out."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"Kendall, this is stupid. He's going to laugh in our faces, then say no."

"Logie, relax. He's gonna say yes."

"But….."

"Logan, do you want this baby shower or not?" James asked.

"Yes!" Carlos said.

"He was asking me, and yes I want it, but we don't need Gustavo's help." I said.

"Yes we do, so just let us do all the talking." Kendall said.

I sighed. "Fine."

We walked into the studio, and found Gustavo at his piano. I could already tell he was in a bad mood just by how he was playing it.

"Kendall, lets just go." I whispered.

"Logie, relax. I got this." Kendall said.

"I hope so." I muttered.

James and Carlos started walking towards Gustavo, but I stayed behind. Kendall rolled his eyes and dragged my towards our evil boss.

"Gustavo, just the person I wanted to see." Kendall said.

Gustavo turned around from his piano. I knew instantly that he wasn't happy that we were here.

"What are you dogs doing here? I gave you the day off." Gustavo said.

"Yeah I know." Kendall said.

"Then get out. I'm busy." Gustavo said.

"I'm just gonna get right to the point. Can you help us with Logan's baby shower?" Kendall asked.

Gustavo hit the keys on his piano, causing me to jump. I just knew this was a bad idea, but my friends never listen to me.

"A what?" Gustavo asked.

"A baby shower. It's a party for the expecting mother, well in this case father." Kendall said.

"Oh please Gustavo can we have one? It will be so much fun. There will be food, games, gifts, food." Carlos said.

"You dogs want me to throw this shower thing for someone I don't even like?" Gustavo asked.

"You don't like me?" I asked.

"I don't mind you. It's the other thing." Gustavo said.

"Oh so you mean my daughter?" I asked.

"Yup" Gustavo said.

I felt so angry that I wanted to rip Gustavo's head off. Of course that was my hormones talking, but I still felt like doing it.

"You're not supposed to talk about Logan's baby like that. He'll go mama bear on your ass." Carlos said.

"I don't care what he does. There is no way I'm giving him a little party." Gustavo said.

"He's right." I said.

"I am?" Gustavo asked.

"Yeah. Why would I ask you to throw a party for me when you cant even throw a great party anyway." I said.

Gustavo tensed up and I could see a vein popping out from the side of his neck.

"Logie, just be quiet ok? I'll take care of this." Kendall said.

"I'm just saying." I said.

"No that's just your hormones." Kendall said.

I rolled my eyes. Kendall turned away from me, and back at a very red Gustavo.

"Don't listen to him. He's just you know. Um anyway can you please help us? You said you would." Kendall said.

"I never said that." Gustavo said.

"You kinda did when you said you would pay for all of our expenses." Kendall said.

"I didn't mean for some stupid baby party." Gustavo said.

"Just please help us out. It will make Logan really happy, and not want to kill you." James said.

"The answer is still no. So get out of my studio." Gustavo said.

Kendall sighed. "Then you leave me no choice….Kelly!"

A few minutes later, Kelly walked into the room.

"What's going on in here?" she asked.

"Gustavo doesn't want to help us throw Logan a baby shower." Kendall said.

"Aw I love baby showers. They are so cute and fun." Kelly said.

"Well I'm not giving him one." Gustavo said.

Kelly glared at Gustavo, then pulled out a letter opener. Gustavo gulped and his eyes widened.

"Boys, when did you plan on having the party?" Gustavo asked.

Kendall smirked. "We'll let you know."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"I cant believe he said yes." I said as we walked through the Palm Woods lobby.

"I told you I could get him to say it." Kendall said.

"Actually Kelly did it." I said.

"Well I still helped." Kendall said.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

Kendall smiled and we went up to our apartment. James and Carlos went down to the pool, and Mrs. Knight wasn't back yet. I collapsed on the couch, and Kendall joined me. I groaned when my back started to ache.

"You ok?" Kendall asked.

"My back is just killing me again." I said.

"I'll fix that." Kendall said.

"No its ok. The last time you did that it led to other things." I said.

"Yeah well I'll control myself this time." Kendall said.

"No you wont." I said.

"True." Kendall said.

I chuckled and rested my head on Kendall's shoulder. I was about to fall asleep, but the door opened. Mrs. Knight and Katie walked in with some bags and a giant pillow.

"Hey mom," Kendall said. "What's with the pillow?"

"Oh this? Its for Logan." Mrs. Knight said.

"It is?" I asked.

"Remember that special pillow I was talking about?" Mrs. Knight asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Well I bought you one." Mrs. Knight said.

"Thanks Mama Knight." I said.

Katie walked over, and gave me the pillow. It was so big that it took up most of the couch. I tried moving it, but I accidentally hit Kendall in the face.

"Sorry." I said.

"Its ok. I'm good." he said.

"I hope it helps you sleep better." Mrs. Knight said.

"Wait he has to sleep with that?" Kendall asked.

"Mhm." Mrs. Knight said.

"Do you not like it?" I asked.

"It just that…..its too big. How am I supposed to cuddle with you?" Kendall asked.

"We'll find a way." I said.

"I hope so." Kendall said.

I chuckled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

**A/N: HI. um the baby shower is like twp chaps away, and im freaking out. but i think i can handle it. thanks gleechild for the help =D. anyway the next chap with be kinda short cuz they r looking at more baby clothes n stuff lol. so i might post that later. bye =D**


	44. Chapter 44

**James POV**

"C'mon Logan. We have to go."

"James, I don't want to. She is going to hate me and think I'm weird."

"Logan, Camille isn't going to hate you. She is going to be happy and excited." I said.

"How do you know?" Logan asked.

"Because she is our friend, but you guys are a lot closer. I promise she wont think you're weird." I said.

Logan nodded. "Ok."

"Now c'mon." I said.

I grabbed Logan's hand and led him down the hallway towards Camille's apartment. We reached 4J, and I knocked on the door. Logan hid behind me and I rolled my eyes. A few minutes later, the door opened and Camille appeared.

"Hey guys, what's up?" she asked.

"We were wondering if you would like to go baby shopping with us" I said.

"Yeah sure….wait baby shopping?" Camille asked.

"Yeah I promised Logan we would go today." I said.

"Logan? Wait what's going on?" Camille asked.

Logan sighed and stepped out from behind me. He opened his jacket to expose his baby bump. Camille gasped when she saw Logan's stomach.

"You're….you're….."

"Pregnant. Yeah." Logan said.

"How?" Camille asked.

I slowly raised my hand. "Guilty."

"Wait you're the father?" Camille asked.

"Yeah. We didn't think this could happen, but it did and now we have a little girl on the way." I said.

"A girl? That's so cute. Logan, why didn't you tell me?" Camille asked.

"I don't know. I was scared you would think I'm some sort of freak." Logan said.

"Logan, I would never think that." Camille said.

Logan smiled. "Thanks."

"Can I touch your stomach?" Camille asked.

"Yeah of course." Logan said.

Camille smiled and placed her hand over Logan's stomach. She rubbed small circles over it and gasped when the baby pushed against her hand.

"That's amazing." Camille said.

"Yeah it is." Logan said.

"So do you want to go shopping with us?" I asked.

Camille smiled. "I would love to."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"Logan, what do you think of these?" Camille asked as she held up a pair of pink socks.

"Those are cute." Logan said.

I frowned at his tone. I thought Logan would be having fun, but he seemed so sad. I needed to know why.

"Logan, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I just want Kendall." Logan said,

"Don't worry ok? He said he and Carlos will be here in a few minutes. Kendall just had to talk to his mom about the baby shower. He'll be here soon." I said.

"Ok. Can we wait to look at baby stuff until Kendall gets here? I promised he could help pick out things." Logan said.

"Yeah I guess." I said.

"James, please don't get jealous. I want us to enjoy ourselves today." Logan said.

"I'm sorry. I promise I wont get upset ok? Everything's cool now." I said.

"Ok." Logan said.

A few minutes later, Kendall and Carlos arrived at the store. Logan ran up to Kendall and gave him a big hug. I didn't think he missed Kendall that much, but he did. We started going through the entire store, and looking at everything it had. Logan was going crazy with the books and clothes. I told him not to buy too much, but I don't think he was listening. It didn't help when Carlos was showing more things to Logan.

"Why not?" Logan whined when I said he couldn't buy anymore stuff.

"Because you're having a baby shower in a month, and you cant buy so much stuff." I said.

"But its so cute." Logan said looking at a pink onesie .

"Logie, James is right. You are going to get so much stuff at the shower, so you really shouldn't he buying all these things when you're going to get them for your baby shower." Kendall said.

"Can I buy a few more things?" Logan asked.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Um blankets. The baby needs blankets." Logan said.

"I guess." I said.

Logan smiled. "Thank you Jamie."

Camille grabbed Logan's hand. "C'mon lets go look at the blankets." she said.

"Can I come?" Carlos asked.

"Of course." Logan said.

Camille, Logan and Carlos went off to look at blankets, and Kendall and I looked at the clothes.

"So are you excited?" Kendall asked.

"For what?" I asked.

"What do you mean for what? Your baby." Kendall said.

"Oh yeah." I said.

"Just three more months till she gets here." Kendall said.

"Yeah."

"Are you not happy or something?"

"I am, but I'm scared. Three months left until my daughter gets here. Its scary." I said.

"Yeah I know, but you'll be a great dad." Kendall said.

"I hope so." I said.

"You will." Kendall said.

"Guys!" Carlos yelled as he ran towards us.

"Hey buddy. Did you find any cute blankets?" I asked.

"No…its….Logan….." Carlos breathed.

"Did he find something?" I asked.

"No he's…..he's…" Carlos said.

"Carlos, what's wrong with Logan?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. He was fine a few minutes ago, then he said his stomach hurt. Now he's on the floor." Carlos said.

"Where is he?" Kendall said.

"Follow me." Carlos said.

We nodded, and Carlos took off running. We followed him through the store, but it was hard to keep up with him. We finally stopped at an aisle, and found Logan on the floor. Camille was kneeling next to him and holding his hand.

"Logie? Baby what's wrong?" Kendall asked.

"It hurts Kenny. It hurts so much." Logan said.

"What does? Logan, you need to tell me what hurts." Kendall said.

Logan let out a cry of pain, and grabbed Kendall's hand.

"Shh Logan its ok." Camille said as she rubbed his hand.

"Camille, what happened?" I asked.

"I don't know. We were looking at stuff, then he said his stomach hurt." Camille said.

"Logie, how bad does it hurt?" Kendall asked.

"Pretty bad." Logan said.

"Is the baby coming now?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know." I said.

"Logan, are you having contractions?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. It just really hurts." Logan said.

"Babe, just relax and breathe. We're going to help you." Kendall said.

"Hurry." Logan said.

"James, help me take him to the car." Kendall said.

"Wait is he in labor? What's wrong with him?" I asked.

Kendall sighed. "I don't know."

**A/N: Hi again. i couldnt help myself. i kept telling myself to post it tomorrow, but i couldnt take it so i posted the chap now. hope is was ok lol. bye**


	45. Chapter 45

**Kendall's POV**

Logan let out another cry of pain as I carried him through the hallway. He buried his face into the crook of my neck, and whimpered. I tried calming him down, but it wasn't working. I had no idea what to do. He was in a lot of pain, and I didn't even know the cause of it. He seemed fine a few hours ago, and then this happened.

"Shh its ok, Logie." I said.

We reached our apartment, and James opened the door. I walked in and gently laid Logan down on the couch.

"Carlos, check to see if my moms home." I said.

Carlos nodded, and ran towards my moms room. I kneeled down beside Logan, and rubbed his forehead.

"Its ok, Logie." I said.

Logan winced and grabbed my arm. "It hurts Kenny."

"I know, but we're going to help you." I said.

"Kendall," Carlos said as he entered the living room. "Your moms not home."

"Shit!" I said.

"What do we do?" Camille asked.

"Um I need you to find one of Logan's medical books, and see if there's anything in it that could help us." I said.

Camille nodded and ran to the room Logan and I shared.

"What should I do?" James asked.

"Stay he with him while I try to get a hold of my mom." I said.

I kissed Logan on the forehead, then stood up from the floor. James took my place and kneeled beside Logan. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my moms number. The phone rang and rang, but she never answered. I got her voicemail and explained to her what was going on. I cut the message short when I heard Logan scream. I hung up the phone and ran back to him.

"Logie its ok. Just breathe." I said.

"What's wrong with me?" Logan asked.

"Are you in labor?" Carlos asked.

"No I cant be. Its too early." Logan said.

"Logie, I don't think that's it." I said.

"Then what is it?" Logan asked.

"Camille!" I shouted.

Camille ran into the living room with one of Logan's medical books in her hand.

"I found it." she said.

"Then what's causing him so much pain?" James asked.

"I don't know yet. I'm still looking." Camille said.

"Well look faster." I said.

"Logan, what are your symptoms?" Camille asked.

"Camille, we don't have time to ask questions." I said.

"But I need to know what he's feeling so I can find the cause of it." Camille said.

"I'm feeling a lot of pain." Logan said.

"Where?" Camille asked.

Logan groaned and clutched his stomach.

"Does that answer your question?" I asked.

Camille quickly started flipping through the book. Logan cried out again and I squeezed his hand.

"What if he's miscarrying? Oh god Kendall what if he is." James said.

I slapped James across the face. He grabbed his cheek and stared at me with wide eyes.

"James, snap out of it. Logan is not losing the baby." I said.

Logan let out another scream and squeezed my hand as hard as he could. I didn't know what to do. Camille was still going through the book, but not finding anything. Carlos and James started to panic, but I tried to stay calm. Logan was going to be ok. He was not going to lose this baby. He just cant.

My head snapped up when the apartment door busted open. My mom ran into the apartment.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't know. He's in a lot of pain." I said.

My mom went over to Logan, and tried to calm him down.

"Logan, what hurts?" she asked.

"M-my stomach." Logan said.

"Ok honey I need you to breathe and relax. These will go away soon." my mom said.

"It will?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure he's having Braxton Hicks contractions." my mom said.

"Braxton what?" I asked.

"Is he having the baby?" James asked.

"No he's having some fake labor pains. Its to help prepare him for actual labor." my mom said.

"Shouldn't they be starting when he is getting closer to his due date?" I asked.

"Not necessarily, but when his due date gets closer, the pains will get stronger." my mom said.

"How do we stop them?" I asked.

"We cant. This should last for a few minutes, then they'll go away on their own." my mom said.

Logan let out a whimper and grabbed my hand. I gently rubbed his knuckles with my thumb.

"Just breathe, Logie. They'll go away." I said.

After a few minutes, Logan started to calm down. His breathing returned to normal, and his eyes fluttered closed.

"I think he's ok now. Kendall, take him to his room." my mom said.

I nodded and carefully lifted Logan into my arms. I took him into our room, and laid him on my bed. I kissed his forehead, then left the room. I went back into the living room, and found Camille already gone.

"Is he ok?" James asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"What causes those Braxton things?" Carlos asked.

"It could be triggered by anything really. Kendall, did you and Logan…"

"Mom." I groaned.

"Just answer my question. Did you?" my mom asked.

"Yes we did. Happy now?" I asked.

"Wait you had sex with Logan? How dare you shove your dick in my baby girls face!" James said.

"James, I didn't put anything in her face. I was really careful." I said.

"I cant believe you would do that. You know her eyes are open, so she probably saw all of that. What if she's blind now." James said.

"James, relax. I didn't hurt your baby." I said.

"If you ever do I swear I'll….."

"Boys! Knock it off now!" my mom screamed.

"Sorry." James said.

"Just stop arguing. We need to focus on Logan right now." my mom said.

"Is he going to be ok?" I asked.

"He'll be fine. These contractions don't last long, and they'll go away." my mom said.

"Did I start them?" I asked.

"Maybe. Sexual activity is one of the things that can start them." my mom said.

"But that was the other day." I said.

"It could still have started them, but I'm not sure. Just make sure Logan is comfortable ok" my mom said.

I nodded. "Ok"

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

A few weeks passed, and Logan was still having those contractions. He would complain a few times, but then they would go away. My mom said they would come back a little stronger when Logan gets closer to his due date, but that was still three months away.

James wasn't upset with me anymore that Logan and I did stuff. He wasn't upset with the fact that Logan and I did that sort of activity, he was mad because he didn't want me poking his baby's eye out. I assured him I never did that, so he left me alone.

Since Gustavo was letting us throw Logan a baby shower, James and I started to plan it. Lets just say it wasn't going that well. Two boys cant possibly plan something like this, so we asked for help. My mom and Kelly really helped us out. Kelly said we could have the party at Rocque Records, and that she would arrange everything. My mom said she would help us with the decorations and food.

James and I were in the kitchen, going over the guest list. We've been doing this for hours, and it was already getting late. Everyone was already asleep, except for us.

"What about Mercedes?" James asked.

"Why? She such a snobby bitch, and she tried to take Logan from me." I said.

"Yeah, but she might bring Logan something good." James said.

"Its not all about gifts, James. We have to invite people Logan will like." I said.

"But what if Griffin gets mad that we didn't invite her, then he sends us back to Minnesota." James said.

"Add her to the list." I said.

James nodded and started putting Mercedes' name on the list.

"What about Jo?" I asked.

"You're kidding right?" James asked.

"What's wrong with Jo? She's cool." I said.

"Um if you haven't noticed, Logan hates her." James said.

"Maybe now he doesn't." I said.

"If you add her, Logan will kill you." James said.

"Ok fine." I said.

James stood up from the table, and went into the kitchen. I quickly put Jo's name down on the list before James came back.

"Thanks." I said when James handed me a soda.

"What about Logan's parents?" James asked.

"Oh shit! He hasn't told them yet. Have you told your parents?" I asked.

James laughed. "Do you think I'm an idiot? My parents would kill me if they found out."

"But you need to tell them." I said.

"I know, but I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because they'll hate me." James said.

"No they wont. You're giving them a grandchild." I said.

"Yeah but they wont look at it like that. They'll be upset because I'm not with the person who's carrying my baby. They'll just treat me like a whore." James said.

"James, that doesn't make you a whore. You and Logan were just confused, and that doesn't make you two a couple of whores." I said.

"But I shouldn't have slept with him. He should be having your baby, not mine." James said.

"But he's not, and I've learned to accept that, and you need to do the same." I said.

"I cant though. I'm really scared." James said.

I wrapped James in a hug and held onto him tightly. James rested his head on my shoulder, and I rubbed his back. We stayed like this for a few minutes, then we pulled apart. James stared at me for a minute, then pressed his lips to mine. My eyes widened and I pushed him off me.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"I'm sorry." James said.

"Fuck." I said.

"What?" James asked.

"Logan."

"He wont find out."

"I have to tell him. I cant keep this from him." I said.

"No I'll tell him. I would rather him hate me then you." James said.

"But you're the father of his baby. Its not right for him to hate you. I'll tell him." I said.

"Kendall please." James said.

I stood up from my seat. "I'm going to bed."

I went into my bedroom, and quietly changed into my pajamas. I gently crawled into bed with Logan, and tried not to wake him. He stirred in his sleep, and his eyes fluttered open.

He smiled. "Hey."

"Hey." I whispered.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"How did what go?" I asked.

"The planning and stuff." Logan said.

"Oh it went fine. We just decided to call it a night. Too much going on for the both of us." I said.

Logan yawned. "Ok."

Logan cuddled up to me, and I wrapped my arm around him. He rested his head on my chest, and closed his eyes.

"Logie?"

"Hmm?"

"You know I love you, right?" I asked.

"Mhm. I love you too." Logan said.

"Ok. Just making sure." I said.

"Why?" he asked.

"No reason." I said.

Logan fell back asleep, and I listened to his soft breathing. I tried falling asleep, but I couldn't. I just couldn't stop thinking about James and that kiss. I didn't enjoy it or anything, but it scared me.

I just hope that kiss doesn't jeopardize my relationship with Logan.

**A/N: Hi. so i will post the baby shower scene later today, but it might suck. i havent been to one in years, so i will try my best. what about that kiss huh? oh james tisk tisk. lol anyway bye for now =D**


	46. Chapter 46

**Logan's POV**

Tomorrow was the day of my baby shower. I've been waiting for that day to come for a month, and now it was finally here. I was excited, but I was also nervous. I wanted everything to go as planned, well whatever Kendall and James planned. They didn't tell me much, but I trusted them.

I was more nervous about my mom coming. My dad was on a business trip, so he couldn't make it, but my mom was still coming. I had called her a few weeks ago, and said I was seven months pregnant. She was so confused, and thought I was playing a mean joke on her, but I told her I wasn't. After she got over the shock, she was really happy.

I was happy about the baby too, but I was really scared. I was seven and half months pregnant, and the baby was going to be here soon. I wasn't exactly ready for her, but at least I had my friends.

Speaking of friends, James and Kendall have been acting really weird lately. They would be a little distant with each other, or when they were alone and I walked in, Kendall would jump at my presence. I tried talking to him about it, but he said he was fine. I didn't buy it, but I had other things to worry about.

I kept having those stupid Braxton Hicks contractions. They wouldn't last long, but they were still painful and uncomfortable. They would happen at the most random or unwanted times. When I would go to sleep, they would hit and I wouldn't be able to sleep until they went away. Kendall tried comforting me, but it wouldn't really help. Sometimes I wish he could experience all the pain I was going through.

"Logie. Logie, wake up."

My eyes slowly fluttered open, and I saw Kendall sitting on the bed.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Wake up. Its your baby shower today." Kendall said.

"Ok." I said then rolled over onto my other side. "Goodnight."

"Logie, seriously get up. The party starts in three hours, and you need to get ready." Kendall said.

"Can I have a few more minutes? I'm so comfortable" I said snuggling into my giant pillow.

"No you cant have a few more minutes. Get out of bed now." Kendall said.

"If you don't let me sleep, I'll hit you." I said.

I felt the bed dip even more, then Kendall wrap his arms around my waist.

"Please babe get up." Kendall said.

"But I love this pillow." I said.

"So you don't love me?" Kendall asked.

"I do, but you're too boney. This pillow is heaven." I said.

"Just get up please. Then I'll give you a kiss." Kendall said.

"Nah."

"A cupcake?"

My eyes shot open. "We have those?"

"Yeah for the shower, but since you wont get up, you don't get one." Kendall said.

"Is it chocolate?"

"Some of them."

I groaned. "Fine I'll get up."

"Thank you." Kendall said.

"It wasn't for you. Its for that cupcake." I said.

"Wow."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You think I'm fat don't you?" I asked.

"No Logie. I never said that." Kendall said.

"But you said 'wow'. What the fuck did you mean by that?" I asked.

"Logie, don't get mad. I didn't mean you're fat or anything. You're beautiful." Kendall said.

"Go away." I said.

"Logie, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I love you." Kendall said.

"I…guess I love you too."

"You guess?"

"I'm not sure yet. You hurt my feelings." I said.

"I'm so sorry, babe. You can hit me if you want." Kendall said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Mhm." Kendall said.

I carefully sat up, and turned to face Kendall. I pressed my lips to his, and Kendall immediately kissed back. After a few seconds, we pulled apart.

"You didn't want to hit me?" Kendall asked.

"Nah. I love you too much." I said.

Kendall smiled. "I love you too."

"Can I have my cupcake now?" I asked.

"Only if you get up." Kendall said.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

I groaned when I looked in the mirror. My stomach was huge! And I wasn't even done with this stupid pregnancy. I felt so gross. How could Kendall call this beautiful? I looked awful. I really didn't want to go to that party now. Everyone was going to see how disgusting I look.

"Logie, can I come in?" Kendall asked.

"No"

"Why?"

"Because I look fat." I said.

I heard Kendall sigh, then the bathroom door opened. Kendall walked in and stood behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed the back of my neck.

"Logan, you look so beautiful." he said.

"No I don't. I'm all…"

"Don't say it." Kendall said.

"But I am." I said.

"No you're not. You're perfect." Kendall said.

"I am not perfect. You are with your pretty eyes, blondish hair, and perfect body." I said.

"I thought you said I was boney?" Kendall asked.

"You are, but your body is still amazing." I said.

"No its not." Kendall said.

I rolled my eyes, and lifted up Kendall's black shirt. I gently ran my fingers over his perfect flat stomach. I sighed and pulled his shirt back down.

"Why cant you be pregnant?" I asked.

"Because I'm not as lucky as you." Kendall said.

"Please. I'm not lucky, I'm cursed." I said.

"How can you say that? Its amazing that you can have children. You get to nourish and bring a new life into the world. That's amazing to me." Kendall said.

"I'm sorry. I'm in a really sour mood." I said.

"Don't worry. You'll feel better when we get to the party." Kendall said.

"When are we leaving?" I asked.

"In a few minutes. James will text me when its time for us to go." Kendall said.

"Ok. Are you sure I'll have fun?" I asked.

"Yes. You're gonna have so much fun." Kendall said.

"Ok." I said.

Kendall let go of me, and pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket.

"Ready to party?" he asked.

I sighed. "I guess so."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

"Logie, stop fidgeting . You look good."

"I'm so nervous, Kendall."

"Don't be ok? This is your party, so just have fun." Kendall said.

I nodded. "Ok"

Kendall gave me a peck on the lips, then he grabbed my hand. He led me down the hallway of Rocque Records, and towards the party room. We stopped at the door, and Kendall pulled me into a kiss. We pulled apart, and he rested his forehead against mine.

"Just relax and have fun ok?" he whispered.

"Ok." I said.

Kendall gave me a peck on the lips, then he opened the door. I gasped when I walked inside. There was pink and white balloons everywhere, pink streamers, and a huge banner that said 'it's a girl'. The table had either a pink or white table cloth covering them with candles as the center piece. On the other side of the room was a buffet table with all sorts of food and drinks. There was another table that had the cupcakes I've been craving all morning.

I smiled when I saw all my friends here. Kendall and James practically invited the whole Palm Woods. Camille was here with Steve. I didn't like him, but I wasn't going to let him ruin this day. Tyler was here with his mom. Guitar Dude was talking to Mercedes, and that surprised me. It wasn't the fact that she was talking to Guitar Dude, it was the fact that she was here. I didn't think Kendall and James would invite her, but they did. Carlos and Stephanie were sitting at a table and talking. Even the Jennifer's were here, and I didn't expect to see them here at all.

"You guys did all of this…..for me?" I asked.

"Yeah. Do you like it?" Kendall asked.

"I love it." I said.

"I'm glad you do." Kendall said.

"Savannah likes it too." I said.

"Savannah? That's what you're naming her?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah. I really like that name." I said.

"I'm like it too." Kendall said.

I wrapped my arms around Kendall's waist, and rested my head on his chest. He hugged me back, and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you so much, Kenny. I love you." I said.

"I love you too, Logie. But you should thank James too." Kendall said.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Lets go look for him." Kendall said.

I nodded and Kendall grabbed my hand. We started looking for James, but stopped to greet the guests or to let them feel my stomach. Surprisingly the Jennifer's asked to touch my belly. They all squealed when they felt the baby move.

We finally found James talking to Stephanie and Carlos. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. James was taken aback at first, but he relaxed.

"What was that for?" he asked after we pulled apart.

"For all of this. Thank you." I said.

"You're welcome buddy. I'm glad you like it." James said.

Kendall walked up to us, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Oh Kendall. You need one of these." Carlos said as he pulled out a green beaded necklace.

"For what?" Kendall asked.

"The game we're playing." Carlos said.

"Oh ok." Kendall said.

He took the necklace from Carlos, and put it around his neck.

"What game?" I asked.

"Its called don't say….." Carlos said.

"Don't say what?" I asked.

"I cant say because then I'll lose." Carlos said.

"Can I play?" I asked.

"Sorry Logan, guests only." James said.

"Fine." I said.

"So Logan," Stephanie said. "Are you excited?"

"Yeah, but I'm a little scared." I said.

"Aw don't worry about it. You'll be fine." Stephanie said.

"I hope so." I said.

"Can I feel your stomach?" Stephanie asked.

"Sure." I said.

Stephanie smiled and gently placed her hand over my stomach.

"Hi baby." she cooed.

"Ha! You said it. Give me your necklace." Carlos said.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and gave Carlos her red necklace.

"Oh that's the game you're playing. The don't say baby one." I said.

"You said it too!" Carlos said.

"I'm not playing." I said.

"Oh right," Carlos said." Well I still have two necklaces so far."

"Can you get them all?" I asked.

"I'm gonna try." Carlos said.

I chuckled and Carlos ran off to pester the rest of the party guests. Stephanie smiled and ran after Carlos.

"Oh that reminds me. Someone's here to see you." Kendall said.

"Who?" I asked.

"You'll see." James said.

Kendall grabbed my hand and started dragging me somewhere else. We stopped and I saw my mom talking to Mrs. Knight.

"Mom!" I said.

My mom turned to me and smiled. She ran up to me and wrapped me in a hug.

"Logan, I missed you so much." she said.

"I missed you too. I'm so glad you could make it." I said.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." my mom said.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked after we pulled apart.

"No of course not. I'm just a little surprised that my son is pregnant. But I'm so happy that I'm getting a grand-ba…"

"Don't say it." I said.

"Why not?" my mom asked.

"Carlos will steal your necklace if you say baby." I said.

My mom chuckled. "I wont say it then, but I'm so happy."

"Thanks mom." I said.

I winced and grabbed my moms arm when I felt one of those stupid contractions.

"Logan, what's wrong?" my mom asked.

"Just some contractions. They'll go away soon." I said.

"What kind of contractions?" my mom asked.

"Mom relax. I'm not in labor or anything. They're just those Braxton Hicks." I said.

"Oh ok, but if anything happens let me know right away." my mom said.

"I will." I said.

"Why don't you go back with Kendall. He's waiting for you." my mom said.

"Ok" I said.

I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek, then went back over to Kendall.

"Having fun yet?" he asked.

"Yes. Are you?" I asked.

"Yup. So do you want to eat or play games?" Kendall asked.

"We can eat, but first I want to thank Gustavo and Kelly." I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok."

We searched the crowed, then found them by the buffet table. I walked up to them and Kelly smiled.

"Hi Logan. What do you think?" Kelly asked.

"Its great. Thank you." I said.

"You're every welcome." Kelly said.

"Thanks Gustavo for letting this happen. It means a lot" I said.

"Yeah" Gustavo said.

Kelly nudged him in the side.

Gustavo rolled his eyes. "You're welcome."

After I greeted and thanked everyone, it was time to eat. The buffet table had so much food on it. There was sandwiches, pizza, corndogs(for Carlos), a fruit and veggie tray and so much more. I actually didn't know where to start.

When everyone was done eating, it was time for games. The first game we played was to guess the size of my stomach. I wasn't so happy about that. James cut his piece of yarn, then wrapped it around my stomach. The string didn't wrap around completely, so I didn't hit him. Kendall went next, and cut his piece really short. It obviously didn't wrap around, so he got a kiss.

Camille went next and her piece was a lot bigger then Kendall's, I frowned at her for that. She wrapped it around, and it almost fit. Carlos cut a really long piece and I glared at him. His piece was too long to wrap around.

"I'm not that big you idiot." I said.

"I was just guessing." Carlos said.

Camille was the one who's piece was the closest to my size, so she won the game. She was really happy about that.

After a while, I was starting to get tired. My feet were starting to hurt, and I kept feeling those contractions. They wouldn't go away that fast like they usually do. I tried not to think too much about it.

I was glad Kendall announced it was time for gifts. He led me over to a chair, and I sat down between him and James. Kendall handed me the first gift, which was from Camille and Steve. It was a set of pink and purple bottles. I thanked her, then handed the gift to James. Kendall gave me a gift that was from Kelly. It was a few dresses and a baby bag.

I opened my moms gift next. It was a baby monitor, a couple of outfits, and a yellow blanket. Mrs. Knight's gift was a baby bath kit, some pajamas and a stroller. Carlos gave me his gift, so I opened it. It was a rattle, a few stuffed animals and a small pink helmet.

"Thanks Carlos." I said.

"Now she can never get hurt." Carlos said.

I chuckled and handed James the baby items. After opening more gifts which was clothes or books, I finally got to Kendall's gift. I really wanted to open it. Right as I was about to, a really strong pain hit. I grabbed my side and dropped the gift.

"Logie, are you ok? What's wrong?" Kendall asked.

"I think its time." I said.

Kendall's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

I let out a scream when another contraction hit. At first I thought I was having more of those Braxton Hicks, but these were too painful to be false labor pains.

"Logie, just breathe." Kendall said.

Kendall and James helped me up, and led me towards the exit. Mrs. Knight grabbed her car keys, and followed us, along with my mom and Katie.

"We're gonna have a baby! Whoo!" Carlos said.

James and Kendall helped me into the car, then they climbed in with me. Once everyone was in the car, Mrs. Knight sped off. I let out another cry, and squeezed Kendall's hand.

"Babe, just breathe ok? In and out." Kendall said.

"I'm so scared, Kenny. I'm so scared." I said.

"Everything's going to be fine." Kendall said.

"I'm not ready for her." I said.

"I know, but you'll be ok. We're all here for you." Kendall said.

I nodded and rested my head on Kendall's shoulder. Both James and Kendall were rubbing my hands, but it wasn't helping with the pain. I was so scared about having this baby. I wasn't ready for her.

But she's coming if I'm ready or not.

**A/N: sorry this chap was really long and it probably sucked. like i said before, im not good with party scenes, especially baby showers. i swear i rlly tried tho. anyway hope this chap was ok. =D**


	47. Chapter 47

**James POV**

The whole ride to the hospital was silent. The only thing that could be heard was Logan's harsh breathing and Kendall's comforting words. I tried my best to help comfort Logan, but it wasn't the same if Kendall did it. He was Logan's boyfriend, so I just let him calm Logan down.

We finally made it to the hospital, and got Logan checked into a room. Kendall, Carlos and I all sat in the room with him, while Mrs. Knight, Mrs. Mitchell and Katie were in the waiting room. Kendall was on one side of Logan, and I was on the other. We were trying our best to get him to relax, but it wasn't doing any good. He would grab a hold of the sheets and cry out whenever a contraction would hit.

"Its ok Logie. Its ok." Kendall said as he rubbed Logan's forehead.

I didn't know how Kendall could be so calm about this whole thing. I was freaking out like there's no tomorrow. My baby girl was coming, and I was terrified, but probably not as scared as Logan. He was the one who has to give birth to her. I was glad I didn't have to do any of that. My perfect figure would be ruined.

"Where's the doctor?" Logan asked.

"He'll be here soon ok? Just breath and relax." Kendall said.

"I'm not ready for her. I'm so scared." Logan said.

"Logie, don't be scared. We're all here for you and this baby." Kendall said.

"But I'm still scared." Logan said.

I grabbed Logan's hand and gently squeezed it. He looked up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Don't worry Logan. I'm scared too, but we can get through this together." I said.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Thank you Jamie." Logan said.

"You're welcome." I said.

Logan squeezed my hand when he felt more pain. Kendall tried calming him down, but it wasn't working. Logan let out a cry and squeezed my hand harder.

"Ow Logan that's my good hand." I said.

"Sorry." he said.

He let go of my hand and I rubbed it. I didn't think he had that much strength for being such a little guy, but he did. Carlos really wanted to comfort Logan, so he took my place. I went and sat down in one of the chairs, and went through a couple of magazines. I couldn't help but chuckle when Carlos let out a cry because Logan was squeezing his hand too hard.

We ended up waiting for about three hours, but the doctor still didn't show up. I was starting to get annoyed, but I let it go. Carlos has left the room to go on a hunt for fruit smackers, so I was back by Logan's side. I asked Kendall if he wanted a break, but he said no. He would rather be by Logan's side then anywhere else.

Finally after another hour, we hear a knock on the door. The doctor comes in and he smiles at us. I was so annoyed with him that I wanted to smack that goofy smile right off, but I didn't. Who knows how much trouble I would get in for that.

"Hello. Are you ready to have this baby?" the doctor asked.

"No." Logan said.

"That's ok not many parents are. Before I can send you off for surgery, I need to check you." the doctor said.

"For what?" Logan asked.

"I need to see if you're really in labor and how much you've dilated."

"Is it gonna hurt." Logan asked.

"It will be a little uncomfortable." the doctor said.

Logan nodded. "Ok."

"I need you to sit up and place your legs in the stirrups." Dr. Williams said.

Logan nodded and carefully sat up, then placed his legs in the holders. The doctor sat in a stool between Logan's legs, and lifted up the bed sheet. I could tell Logan was a little nervous, so I squeezed his hand.

"You're going to feel a little bit of pain, then it'll be over." the doctor said.

Logan hissed and squeezed both mine and Kendall's hand as hard as he could. Logan shut his eyes and let out a whimper.

"Ouch that hurts. Please stop." Logan said.

The doctor sat up and put the sheet back down. Logan's head fell back against the pillow, and Kendall gently rubbed his forehead.

"Well you're not dilated." the doctor said.

"I'm not?" Logan asked.

"You're not really in labor. You're just having Braxton Hicks contractions. If this was real labor, you would be dilating." the doctor said.

"So I'm not having the baby?" Logan asked.

"Not tonight. I'm sorry." the doctor said.

Logan let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"Can you induce him?" Kendall asked.

"I could, but it would be too risky. The baby would be too early, and she would be really weak. The only thing we can do is wait till the baby is ready." the doctor said.

"Thank you." Logan said.

The doctor nodded, then left the room. I looked back over at Logan, and I could tell he was upset. We all really thought it was time for the baby, but I guess it wasn't.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just really wanted her to be here." Logan said.

"So you're not scared anymore?" I asked.

"No I am, but I have you three so I feel better." Logan said.

"Well this sucks. I really wanted the baby to be here." Carlos said.

"I think we all did." Kendall said.

"Lets just go home." I said.

We left the hospital, and went back to the Palm Woods. Since Mrs. Mitchell had to go back, Logan said goodbye to her. I could tell he didn't want her to go, but she had to. She promised she would try and make it for the actual birth, so Logan was ok with that.

After Logan said goodbye to his mom, he went to his room. Mrs. Knight and Katie went to theirs, and Carlos and I went to ours. I plopped down on my bed and let out a groan.

"You ok, buddy?" Carlos asked.

"No. I was excited." I said.

"I'm sorry, James. I guess she doesn't want to come out yet." Carlos said.

"Yeah but I wish she would. Even though I'm scared, I'm still excited." I said.

"Well at least now you have more time to prepare for her." Carlos said.

"Yeah that's true." I said.

"Just be patient. She'll be here soon." Carlos said.

I sighed. "I hope so."

Carlos climbed into his bed, and I climbed into mine. Carlos fell asleep right away, but I didn't. I really wanted my little girl to be here. I was so excited to meet her, but I still had to wait. I hope she arrives soon.

**A/N: Hi please dont be mad at me about the whole baby thing. im rlly sorry, but i promise the baby will be here in like two chaps. i kinda want to add more kogan sexy time, but im not sure lol. anyway i promise the baby is on her way. =D**


	48. Chapter 48

**Kendall's POV**

I was a little upset that the baby wasn't coming, but I guess it was a good thing she wasn't. It was too early for her, and I wanted little Savannah to be healthy. I loved her so much, and I wanted her to be ok at all times.

I was really worried about Logan. He was in so much pain today, and it wasn't even real labor pains. I knew he was going to suffer a lot more when actual labor begins, and I didn't want him to. I care about him and love him so much that I don't want him to go through any pain.

Besides thinking about Logan and the baby, that kiss was still on my mind. I felt so guilty, and I didn't even do anything. I didn't kiss James back or even enjoy the kiss, but I still felt guilty. I really wanted to tell Logan, but I'm not sure now is the right time.

Logan is really upset because he wasn't having the baby today, and that his mom had to go back to Minnesota. He really missed her, and wanted her here with him because he was so scared. If I was in Logan's position, I would want my mom by my side at all times. But Logan didn't have that.

I decided that I would tell Logan about the kiss, but I wont do it now. I'll do it after the baby is born. I just hope Logan doesn't hate me as much as I hate myself.

I went into my bedroom, and found Logan sitting on his bed. He was folding all of the baby clothes he had gotten today. I knew he really wanted the baby to be here, but he still had to wait. He looked up at me when I closed the bedroom door. He turned away and went back to folding the clothes.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey." he said.

I sighed and walked over to him. I sat down next to him, and started to help fold the clothes.

"You ok?" I asked.

"I don't know." Logan said.

"I'm sorry about today. It was supposed to be fun and for you to enjoy yourself." I said.

"It was, and I had a great time, but I really thought I was going to have the baby." Logan said.

"I know, but she wasn't ready I guess. It's a good thing you weren't in labor though." I said.

"Why?"

"Because then the baby would be too early. Do you want her to be weak and sick?"

Logan sighed. "No, but I just really want to meet her."

"I do too, but we have to be patient. She'll come when she's good and ready." I said.

"Yeah." Logan said.

"Did those pains go away?" I asked.

"Yeah, but they'll be back. I just wish they didn't hurt so much." Logan said.

"I hope when you do go into labor, that it wont be so bad." I said.

"Me too. At least I get drugs, and I wont have to feel anything." Logan said.

I chuckled. "Yeah."

We fell into a comfortable silence, and continued to fold the baby's clothes. I kept thinking about that kiss, and telling Logan, but I couldn't tell him. I just cant. But Logan and I are supposed to tell each other everything. We cant keep secrets from each other, especially the one I had. I had to tell him.

"James kissed me."

Logan looked up at me. "What?"

"When we were planning for your baby shower, James kissed me." I said.

"Did you kiss him back?" Logan asked.

"No of course not. It didn't mean anything to me." I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Logie, I swear on my life it didn't mean anything."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Logan asked.

"Because I didn't want to upset you." I said.

"But I am upset. You lied to me."

"What?"

"When I asked you if anything was wrong, you said everything was fine. You lied to me even when I told you to stop." Logan said.

I grabbed both of Logan's hands. "Logie, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you, but I was scared."

"You could've just told me. We're supposed to be honest with each other." Logan said.

"I know Logie, and I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you. I'm so sorry." I said.

I wrapped Logan in a hug, and he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Are you sure it didn't mean anything?" he asked.

"It meant absolutely nothing to me. I love you Logan, and you're the only one I want to kiss. Only your kisses mean something to me." I said.

"Ok." Logan said.

We pulled apart, and I gently pressed my lips to his. Logan immediately melted into the kiss, and he ran his fingers through my hair. I licked his bottom lip, and he granted me access into his mouth. I made sure to hit every spot with my tongue, making Logan moan. He grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me down with him. Logan let out a cry of pain when I was on top of him.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Yeah. You just kinda squished me." he said.

"Because of my boney-ness?" I asked.

Logan giggled. "Yeah."

"We can switch positions if you want." I said.

"Then I'll squish you." Logan said.

"No you wont." I said.

I sat up and got off of Logan. We switched positions, and he climbed on top of me. I let out a small cry when Logan was fully seated on me.

"Oh god I'm squishing you." Logan said.

"No babe its not that. I'm laying on a rattle." I said.

"Oops sorry. I should've moved everything first." Logan said.

"Its ok. Let me get it." I said.

Logan got up and I reached for the toy beneath me.

"Better?" Logan asked.

"Yeah." I said.

Logan carefully climbed back on top of me, and he let out a low moan.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"You're really hard." he said.

"You can feel that?" I asked.

"Mhm. It feels so good." Logan said.

He started rolling his hips, and I let out a moan. I needed to be inside of Logan now! I pulled Logan into another kiss, and gently bucked my hips. Logan moaned into my mouth, then pulled away. He attached his lips to my neck, and started to suck on my pulse point. He lowered his hands down to my jeans, and unbuckled my belt.

"You really want this, don't you?" I asked.

"I'm so horny." Logan said.

I chuckled and gave him another kiss. Logan started to pull off my jeans, and I lifted up my hips to help him take them off. I went to take off his shirt, but he wouldn't let me.

"Please Logie." I said.

"I don't want it off." Logan said.

I sighed. "Ok."

I sat up and removed both my jacket and shirt, then threw it to the floor. Logan kissed my neck again, then trailed his lips down to my chest. I let out a moan when he tweaked my right nipple while sucking on the other. He continued to kiss along my chest and stomach, then he stopped. Logan grabbed the hem of my boxers, and slowly lowered them down. I hissed when I felt the cool air hit my hard cock.

I gripped the sheets tightly when Logan started lapping at my pre cum. He wrapped his lips around the head of my cock, and sucked. Hard. He continued to suck harshly, then he took my whole length in his mouth. I moaned when I felt my cock hit the back of Logan's throat. I slowly started to thrust and Logan hummed around my member. I picked up the pace, and fucked his mouth fast and hard.

"L-Logan…I'm gonna…cum." I warned.

I let out a grunt as I released my load into his mouth. Logan swallowed all of the liquid, then let off me with a wet pop.

"Your turn." I said.

Logan laid down next to me, and I removed his pants and boxers. I spread Logan's legs open, and started to kiss along his inner thigh. Logan let out a squeal when I got dangerously close to his tight hole. I grabbed his cock, and started to stroke it.

"Kendall." Logan moaned.

"Yes babe?" I asked.

"Fuck me." Logan said.

"As you wish." I said.

I sucked on two of my fingers, then trailed them down to Logan's entrance. I gently pushed one finger in. I didn't want to hurt him since he already had a pair of fingers shoved into him today, so I was being as gentle as I could. I pushed in another finger, and started to thrust them. Logan cried in delight when my finger brushed against that little bundle of nerves.

"I'm ready." Logan said.

I removed my fingers, and slicked up my cock with saliva. I lined myself up with Logan's entrance, then I gently pushed in. I started to slowly thrust when Logan told me to. I picked up the pace and slammed into him. Logan's body jolted and he gripped the sheets tightly.

"Fuck! Kendall hit it again." Logan said when I hit his sweet spot.

I angled my hips to where I would hit that spot with each thrust. I slammed into him again, hitting that spot dead on.

"Fuck yes!" Logan cried.

I grabbed his cock, and started to pump it furiously. Logan arched his back and let out a long moan as he came all over my hand and his stomach. I could feel myself want to explode as I felt Logan's walls clench around my member.

"I'm gonna cum." I said.

"Don't." Logan said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I want you to cum all over me." Logan said.

I pulled out of Logan, and squirted ropes of cum on Logan's stomach and chest. Some even landed on his face. I collapsed next to him, and tried to catch my breath.

"How was that?" I asked.

"Amazing." Logan breathed.

I chuckled and kissed his cheek, tasting some of my own cum. I grabbed the tissue box off the nightstand, and cleaned myself and Logan up. We both put our pajamas on, and got back into bed. Logan grabbed his special pillow, and I groaned.

"What?" he asked.

"I hate that thing." I said.

"But its so comfortable. Have you even tried it?" Logan asked.

"No." I said.

"Then maybe you should." Logan said.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

I took the pillow from Logan, and laid down on it. The minute my body made contact with it, I was in pure bliss. It was so soft and comfortable. No wonder Logan loved it so much.

"Well?" Logan asked.

"Its…..amazing." I said.

"I told you. Now give it back." Logan said.

"Nah."

"Kenny."

"No." I said.

"But its mine." Logan said.

I opened my eyes to see Logan on the verge of tears. I quickly sat up and wrapped him in a hug.

"I'm sorry, Logie. You can have it back." I said.

"O-ok." Logan said.

He got his pillow and snuggled into it. I tried cuddling with him, but it was hard with the pillow in the way. I guess you could say I loved and hated that thing. I finally got comfortable and fell asleep. Warm and comfy next to Logan.

**A/N: So there was some Kogan sexy time lol. hope it was ok. anyway Logan's gonna have the baby soon, so i will post that chap next. well bye for now. =D**


	49. Chapter 49

**Logan's POV**

I was now officially eight months pregnant. My stomach was still huge, but I tried not to worry too much about it. I was almost done with this pregnancy, then I would have my old figure back. Then I can have all the sex I want with Kendall. Well as long as he has a condom, because I don't want to go through this again.

I already had a lot of things the baby would need when she gets here. Mrs. Knight bought me a crib, and the only thing left to do was set it up. There was enough space in Kendall's and my room, so we could just set it up there.

James was still acting a little weird, and now I knew why. I was upset that he would kiss Kendall, but I let it go. There was no point in getting angry over something when it didn't even mean anything. I mean I was a little bugged with James, but I didn't say anything to him.

Mrs. Knight and Katie went back to Minnesota to visit Kendall's aunt and uncle. She said she wanted to tell them about the baby, but Kendall told her not to. I was a little unsure about Mrs. Knight leaving, but Kendall said he would take care of me. I was afraid I would go into labor, but Kendall said I would be fine.

I don't know why, but all today I just felt like cleaning. I tidied up the living room and the bedroom, but I still felt like more needed to be done. I cleaned the bathroom, but I still felt like cleaning and organizing. Since Mrs. Knight wasn't here, I was the one who would clean up.

I was in my room organizing all of the baby's things. I wanted everything to be perfect and organized before my daughter gets here. I used an empty drawer in my dresser to hold all of her clothes, but I still needed more furniture to hold the rest of her items. I looked up when I heard the bedroom door open, and Kendall walked in.

"Hi Logie." he said.

"Hi." I said.

"God you look so cute in my jersey." Kendall said.

I blushed and looked down.

"I'm sorry if I'm wearing it. I just needed something comfortable and that would fit me." I said.

"No Logie its fine. You look adorable in it." Kendall said.

"Thank you." I said.

"Do you need any help or are you good?" Kendall asked.

"I'm good, but thanks anyway." I said.

"Ok um do you want to watch a movie with us?" Kendall asked.

"Sorry Kenny, but I really want to get this done." I said.

"That's ok. Just let me know if you need anything." Kendall said.

"Ok." I said.

Kendall smiled and gave me a kiss, then he left the room. I went back to organizing the baby's things and making sure everything was in the right place. I looked up when I heard the bedroom door opened. I was expecting Kendall again, but it was James.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey." he said.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Um yeah. I was just wondering what you were doing." James said.

"Organizing the baby's stuff." I said.

"Shouldn't you take a break? You've been cleaning all day." James said.

"James, I'm fine." I said.

James sighed. "Listen, there's something I need to tell you."

I already knew what he was going to tell me. It had to be about that kiss with Kendall. I decided to play dumb and just let him admit it to me.

"What is it?" I asked.

James sighed and sat down next to me. "Logan, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do it, and please don't be mad at Kendall. He didn't do anything."

"I know." I said.

"You do?" James asked.

"Yeah Kendall told me." I said.

"He did?" James asked.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" I asked.

"I told him not to say anything." James said.

"Why would you tell him that?" I asked.

"Because I was going to tell you myself." James said.

"Well you didn't, so Kendall told me." I said.

"I was scared ok? I didn't know how to tell you." James said.

"James, you can tell me anything." I said.

"But I didn't want you to blow up like you usually do. I didn't want to tell you when you were acting like a bitch." James said.

"What?" I asked.

"No! That's not what I meant." James said.

"Just get out." I said.

"Logan."

"Just leave."

"See this is what I'm talking about. You're too sensitive." James said.

"If you haven't noticed I'm pregnant!" I said.

"So? You shouldn't be pissed off all the time." James said.

"Get out now! I'm so sick of you acting stupid." I said.

James rolled his eyes and left the room, slamming the door hard behind him. I took a deep breath, then continued what I was doing. Now I didn't feel like organizing anything. I set everything aside, and laid down on my bed.

James was really starting to piss me off. I didn't even do anything to him. And if I did snap at him, I didn't mean it. I'm emotional wreck. I was just going to forget about James, and take a nap. I needed to rest anyway. I snuggled into my pillow, and fell asleep.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

I woke up from my nap when I felt a sharp pain shoot up my back. I thought I was sleeping wrong, so I turned over onto my other side. I started to get comfortable again, then another pain hit. I sat up and rubbed my lower back.

The pain in my back went away, but one hit in my stomach. I clutched my stomach, and noticed it felt a little hard. Another pain hit, and I cried out. I thought I was having more of those Braxton Hicks, and that they were more painful then previous ones.

I slowly got out of bed and went to find Kendall. I went into the living room, but it was empty.

"Kendall?" I called.

I didn't get a response, so I figured he went down to the pool. But I realized I was wrong when I heard thunder. I looked out the window, and saw that it was pouring outside, and the pool was obviously empty. The baby started to kick, and I rubbed my stomach.

"Its ok baby girl. You're safe." I said.

More thunder boomed and I jumped. I walked away from the window, and went into the kitchen. I noticed there was a piece of paper laying on the counter. I picked it up and saw that I was a note from Kendall.

_**Logan,**_

_**I didn't want to wake you, but James and I went out. He said he wanted to talk to me, but I promise I will be back later. Carlos is out with Stephanie, and he will be home soon. If anything happens, call me right away. I love you.**_

_**-Kendall.**_

I sighed and placed the note back on the counter. I guess I was going to be alone for a while. I sat down on the couch, and tried to relax. Another pain hit my stomach, and I groaned. I really hated these fake labor pains. I let out a cry when a really strong pain hit.

I started to feel really hot and I could feel myself sweating. I stood up from the couch, and grabbed my phone from my room. I decided to call Kendall and see when exactly he was going to be home. I dialed his number, but he didn't answer.

I went back into the living room, and I felt hot again. I went into the kitchen-bathroom, and placed my phone on the counter. I went over to the sink, and splashed cold water on my face. I started to feel a little better.

I felt a really intense pain shoot across my stomach, and I let out a scream. I gripped the counter tightly as I waited for the pain to pass. I gasped when I felt some burst and gush out. I looked down and found my sweat pants soaking wet, and a giant puddle underneath me. I started to panic when I realized what was going on. I was in labor and my water just broke.

"No, no. no. Not now. Oh god not now." I said.

I screamed when a really strong contraction hit. Tears welled up in my eyes, and a few slipped. I grabbed my phone and dialed Kendall's number. My phone started to beep, and I looked at the screen. The battery icon was flashing, then my phone shut off.

"No turn back on. Please turn back on." I said.

I dropped my phone when I felt another contraction. I fell to my knees, and tried to breathe in and out. I sat back against the bathtub, and clutched my stomach. I let out a whimper when another contraction hit. They were getting stronger and closer together.

More tears started falling down my face. I was so scared and completely alone. I didn't want to have this baby on my own. My friends were supposed to be here, telling me everything was going to be ok. But I knew for a fact nothing was going ok. I was all alone, and none of my friends knew what was going on. They promised they would never leave me alone again, but they did. I didn't want to be alone for this, but I didn't have a choice.

I let out a sob at the thought of delivering this baby on my own. I was so scared. More tears rolled down my face as another contraction hit. I wanted Kendall so bad.

"Logan?"

My head snapped up when I heard someone call my name. I wasn't going to be alone after all.

"Logan? Buddy where are you?"

"Carlos!" I screamed.

I squeezed the shower curtain behind me as I felt another contraction. The bathroom door opened and Carlos walked in.

"C-Carlos, help me." I said.

"Oh my god. Logan, are you ok?" Carlos asked.

"No. I'm in labor." I sobbed.

"Um ok. Just breathe and I'll call Kendall." Carlos said.

"Please Carlos hurry. Please." I said.

Carlos nodded and ran out of the bathroom. I shut my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing. Even though I was scared, I knew everything was going to be ok now. I wasn't alone anymore, and Kendall was going to be here soon.

I just hope he can make it on time.

**A/N: so i decided to post the next chap lol. i've been waiting to write this scene since i first started this story lol. anyway Logan's in labor and James decides to be a douche. at least Kendall will be there soon. bye =D**


	50. Chapter 50

**James's POV**

I was so bugged with Logan right now. What the hell was his problem? I didn't do anything wrong. I just told him what I did, and he gets pissed off at me. Sometimes I don't even know why I put up with him.

I finally did everything he wanted me to do, and then he gets upset with me. Does he not want me to be there for him? Because if he keeps acting the way he is now, I will step down.

After I left Logan's room, I plopped down on the couch by Kendall. I knew he would probably ask me what was wrong, so I just had to pretend that I was fine.

"What's up with you?" Kendall asked.

"Nothing." I said.

Kendall sighed and turned off the tv. Great here come the questions.

"James, what's going on?" Kendall asked.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"Why did I do what?" Kendall asked.

"Why did you tell Logan about the kiss? I said I was going to tell him." I said.

"I didn't want you to, so I told him. Plus I felt so guilty about it. He needed to know." Kendall said.

"But I was the one who kissed you. Therefore giving me the right to tell him about it." I said.

"But you didn't tell him right away. Look does it really matter? Its all in the past now." Kendall said.

"I don't care if its in the past. It was still my job to tell him." I said.

"James, just let it go. Logan doesn't care about the kiss anyway. It didn't mean anything." Kendall said.

"Maybe to you it didn't." I said.

"James, just please move on. You have a baby on the way, and you cant keep thinking about me when there is someone far more important to think about." Kendall said.

"Can we not talk about this? Its not important right?" I asked.

Kendall sighed and stood up from the couch. He went down the hallway towards his and Logan's room.

"Bye James."

I looked up to see Carlos about to leave the apartment.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"With Stephanie. I'll be back later." Carlos said.

"Oh ok." I said.

"Hey maybe you should go out for a while. Have some fun." Carlos said.

"I think I'll pass." I said.

"Ok suit yourself." Carlos said.

Carlos waved, then left the apartment. I guess I could go out for a little while. It was a nice day, and the fresh air would be good for me. Maybe Kendall can go with me. If he's up to it that is. Kendall walked back into the living room, and sat down next to me.

"Is Logan ok?" I asked.

"He's asleep." Kendall said.

"Ok. Hey um do you want to hang out somewhere?" I asked.

"I don't know." Kendall said.

"Aw c'mon. lets just hang out and have fun. Maybe it will fix our friendship." I said.

"Our friendship's fine." Kendall said.

"No its not. We're not as close as we used to be. Lets just go somewhere and fix it." I said.

"But what about Logan? I cant leave him here by himself." Kendall said.

"He's asleep, and we'll only be gone for a little while. I promise nothing bad is going to happen if we get out for a few hours." I said.

"Well….I guess we could go out, but let me leave Logan a note first." Kendall said.

"Ok." I said.

Kendall quickly wrote Logan a note, then set it on the kitchen counter.

"So where are we going?" Kendall asked.

"Um how about we hit the rink?" I asked.

"But Logan's borrowing my jersey." Kendall said.

"You can borrow one of mine." I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok."

We grabbed all of our hockey gear, then left the apartment. The drive to the ice rink was really silent. Kendall just stared out the window, and kept to himself. I felt like saying something, but I'll just let him speak first. If he ever does.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"You are going to get over me, right?" Kendall asked.

"I'm gonna try." I said.

"Well can you move on? I cant have you loving me when I really want to do something." Kendall said.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I was thinking of proposing to Logan." Kendall said.

"You are?" I asked.

"Well not now, but maybe a few months after the baby is born. I really love him and I know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with." Kendall said.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, James. But I really need you to move on so I can do this. I really, really want to be with Logan forever." Kendall said.

"I understand, but aren't you guys too young to get married?" I asked.

"Yes, but we can still get engaged. We'll just have the wedding when we're ready." Kendall asked.

"Ok." I said.

"I'm sorry." Kendall said.

"Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry. I tried to ruin what you and Logan have because I was only thinking about myself. I'll move on ok? I would rather have you and Logan be happy then me anyway." I said.

"James, I promise you will find someone. Someone who will be better for you then me." Kendall said.

"No one's better then you." I said.

"That's not true. There are so many people out there, yet Logan chose me. Even you chose me. Honestly, I don't deserve to be with either one of you." Kendall said.

"Don't say that. You are the greatest person in the world. Anyone would be an idiot if they didn't choose you." I said.

"Thanks James." Kendall said.

"You're welcome." I said.

We finally made it to the rink, and we changed into our hockey gear. There wasn't that many people , so Kendall and I could be as crazy as we wanted. When we were on the ice, having a great time, everything seemed normal again. It seemed like everything was fine between us, and that we had nothing to worry about. Everything was how it should be.

After playing for a few hours, we changed out of our hockey gear, and left the ice rink. I frowned when I saw that it was pouring outside. It wasn't like this a few hours ago, but now it looked ugly outside.

"Fuck! My hair." I said.

Kendall laughed. "That's all you can think about is your hair?"

"Hey shut up. It takes me hours to get it this good. All you have to do is flip yours to one side and you're done." I said.

"Aw James, just forget about it." Kendall said.

"Fine. Can we get out of this rain though?" I asked.

"Yeah." Kendall said.

We started walking to the car, but I noticed Kendall wasn't following me. I stopped and turned around to find him on his phone. I could see the look of worry on his face.

"Kendall, you ok?" I asked.

He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran to the car. I furrowed my brows, and got in the car with him.

"You ok? Who was on the phone?" I asked.

"Carlos left me a message." Kendall said.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"Just take us home." Kendall said.

"Why? What's going on?"

"Logan's in labor."

**A/N: Hi. sorry this chap was short, but the next will be a little longer. i promise Logan finally has the baby in the next chapter. i will update tomorrow. =D**


	51. Chapter 51

**Logan's POV**

I let out a whimper when I felt another contraction. Its been a few hours, and Kendall still hasn't showed up yet. I was praying that he would get here soon, because I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. The contractions were getting more painful then before, and coming back frequently. I tried focusing on my breathing, but it was hard. The pain was just too much.

I was still sitting against the bathtub, and Carlos was on the other side of the room. He kept looking at his phone to see if Kendall responded yet, but he hasn't. Carlos didn't get a hold of Kendall, so he left him a message. But Kendall hasn't called back yet, and that was two hours ago.

I clutched my stomach, and let out another whimper when a contraction washed over me. Carlos looked up when he heard me cry out.

"Logan?" he asked.

"Its hurts, Carlos. It really hurts." I said.

"Just breathe ok? Kendall will be here soon." Carlos said.

"I cant wait for him anymore. This baby's coming now." I said.

"No the baby cant come now. Just hold it." Carlos said.

"I cant hold this. I need to push." I said.

"Logan, whatever you do don't push." Carlos said.

I let out a scream when another contraction hit. This baby was coming right now, and I couldn't wait for Kendall. I really wanted him here with me, but plans change. I guess Carlos was going to have to deliver the baby.

"Carlos, I need you to help me." I said.

"Ok what do you want me to do?" Carlos asked.

"I need you to help me deliver the baby." I said.

"No, no, no. Logan, I cant do that." Carlos said.

"Please you have to do this. I cant do it by myself." I said.

"But I don't know how." Carlos said.

"Please Carlos? You're the only one who can help me." I said.

"Ok. I'll do it." Carlos said.

"Please hurry. I need to push." I said.

"Um just relax, and I'll be right back." Carlos said.

"Hurry." I said.

Carlos nodded, and ran out of the bathroom. I let out a cry of pain when a really strong contraction hit. I took a few deep breaths, but it wasn't helping. I felt the urge to push, and I tried to fight it.

"Carlos!" I screamed.

Carlos ran back into the bathroom, and kneeled down beside me. I grabbed his arm when another contraction came.

"Carlos, please do something." I said.

"Ok um…uh….. Logan, I don't know what to do!" Carlos said.

The urge to push returned, and I couldn't fight it anymore. I gave in and pushed.

"Logan don't." Carlos said.

"Please help me." I said.

"Ok." Carlos said.

Carlos grabbed a few towels, then positioned himself between my legs. He placed a towel over my waist, then slowly removed my soaked sweat pants and boxers. I was in too much pain to be embarrassed about Carlos seeing me like this.

"Logan, I cant do this." Carlos said.

"Yes you can." I said.

"I don't want to do something wrong like I normally do." Carlos said.

"Carlos, nothing bad is going to happen ok? Everything's going to be fine." I said.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Carlos nodded. "Ok."

"Oh god, oh god." I said.

"Logan, what's wrong?" Carlos asked.

"I really need to push. I can feel her." I said.

"Ok then push." Carlos said.

As soon as I felt another contraction, I pushed as hard as I could. I let out a scream and stopped pushing.

"Keep going, Logan." Carlos said.

"I cant, Carlos. I cant." I sobbed.

"Yes you can. C'mon keep pushing." Carlos said.

"I want Kendall. I want him." I said.

"I know, but he's not here yet. You just have to do this without him." Carlos said.

"Ok." I said.

I started pushing again when another contraction hit. I let out a scream when I felt the baby's head getting closer to emerging.

"Push Logan." Carlos said.

I let out another scream as I pushed. Tears started rolling down my face because of the pain. It felt like I was being split in half. After a few minutes, I stopped pushing to catch my breath.

"You're doing good, buddy." Carlos said.

"I cant do this. I need Kenny. I need him." I said.

"Logan, he'll be here soon." Carlos said.

"Try calling him again." I said.

"Logan, I cant call him right now. I need to help you first." Carlos said.

"But Carlos I….."

I stopped mid-sentence when I felt another contraction. I let out a scream and started pushing again. I stopped when the bathroom door busted open.

"Kendall!" I cried.

He ran over to me, and kneeled down next to me. I grabbed his hand, and he rubbed my forehead soothingly.

"I'm here, Logie. I'm here." Kendall said.

"It hurts Kenny. It hurts so much." I said.

"I know, babe, but just breathe." Kendall said.

I gripped Kendall's hand harder when I felt another contraction.

"Push Logie!" Kendall said.

I brought my head down to my chest, and pushed with all my might. I stopped pushing when I felt someone grab my other hand.

"J-James?" I asked.

"I'm here Logan." He said.

"James, I'm so sorry for snapping at you." I said.

"No Logan I'm sorry. I never meant what I said. I'm so sorry." James said.

I nodded, and squeezed James' hand as hard as I could when I felt another contraction.

"Our baby's coming, James." I said.

"I know, Logan. I know." James said.

"Logan, you have to keep pushing." Carlos said.

"I cant do it." I said.

"Yes you can, Logie. I know you can do this." Kendall said.

"But its too hard. My body cant take it." I said.

"I know, but you cant give up. Do this for me. Do it for Savannah." Kendall said.

I nodded. "Ok."

When I felt a contraction, I pushed as hard as I could. I screamed when I felt the baby's head rip through me. I let out a gasp when the baby's head finally came out.

"Good Logie." Kendall said.

"Is she ok?" I asked.

Kendall looked in between my legs, then turned back to me.

"She's ok. The cords not wrapped around her neck." he said.

I squeezed both Kendall's and James's hands as hard as I could. I heard James yelp, but I kept squeezing it. I pushed for a few minutes, then stopped to catch my breath. I really wanted this to end. The pain was excruciating, and I couldn't handle it. I could tell my body couldn't handle it either. I felt so weak, and tired, but I wasn't going to give up. I wanted to hold my little girl in my arms.

"It hurts. Please Kenny make it stop. Please make it stop." I said.

"Logan, if I could, I would. But I cant make it go away. Just keep pushing ok? Then it'll go away." Kendall said.

"Please Kenny help me. You always take my pain away. Please take it away now." I said.

I saw Kendall's eyes fill up with tears, and a few slipped. He gave me a kiss on the forehead, and I could feel his tears touch my skin.

"I wish I could take away the pain, but I cant. I'm sorry, Logie." Kendall said.

Tears started rolling down my face. I never meant to hurt Kendall, but I did. He was upset because I was in so much pain. The only way the both of us would feel better was if I kept pushing, and got the baby out. Then both of our pain would go away.

I started pushing again, but stopped after a few minutes. I was covered in sweat, and I could feel blood all over my legs. I still didn't feel good, but I kept pushing. I groaned when I felt more of the baby come out.

"Logan, just one more push." Carlos said.

"Really?" I asked.

Kendall looked in between my legs, and nodded.

"The head and shoulders are out. Just one more big push, and it'll be over." he said.

I nodded. "Ok."

"You're doing good, Logan." James said.

I squeezed James' hand when I started pushing again. I could feel the baby sliding through me, and I let out a groan. I stopped to take a deep breath, then I pushed again. I pushed as hard as I could, and it paid off. I felt the rest of the baby slide out, and into Carlos's arms.

I rested my head back, and closed my eyes. The bathroom was dead silent. At first I thought something was wrong with my baby, then I heard it. My eyes fluttered open when I heard my little girl cry.

"She's beautiful, Logie." Kendall said.

I looked up to see Carlos holding my screaming baby. She was covered in blood, but she still looked perfect. Carlos placed the baby on my chest, and I gently touched her. She was a little sticky, but she was also soft. Kendall grabbed a towel, and started to clean the baby up. My daughter continued to cry, and I rubbed her little hand. She opened her eyes, and I could see they were a dark brown. She had my eyes.

"She's perfect Logan." James said.

I smiled. "I know."

"Guys, he's still bleeding." Carlos said.

"Bad?" Kendall asked.

"Really bad." Carlos said.

"I'll be ok." I said.

"Carlos, I need you to call 911." Kendall said.

Carlos nodded, and ran out of the bathroom. My eyes started to flutter, but I tried to keep them open. I still felt really tired and weak. I wanted to close my eyes and rest, but I couldn't.

"Logie, how are you doing?" Kendall asked.

"I don't feel so good." I said.

"Don't worry. We're going to help you." Kendall said.

I nodded. "Ok."

Kendall picked up my baby from my chest, and handed her to James.

"Finish cleaning her up." Kendall said.

James nodded, and grabbed another towel. I turned my head, and watched James clean up our baby. She started crying again, and I wanted to comfort her.

"Can I hold her?" I asked.

"Logie, you cant ok? Not until you both get to the hospital." Kendall said.

"Please let me hold her. She needs me." I said.

"I'm sorry, Logie." Kendall said.

"Please let me hold my little girl. Please Kenny." I sobbed.

"Kendall, just let him hold her for a few minutes." James said.

"He needs to be checked out first, then he can." Kendall said.

Tears started rolling down my face. Why wouldn't Kendall let me hold my baby? I just want to comfort her, but Kendall wont let me.

My eyes fluttered, then they closed. I started to feel better now that my eyes were closed. I didn't feel that much pain anymore. I felt someone pull me close, and I knew it was Kendall. I rested my head on his chest, and he gently rocked me.

"Its ok Logie. You're going to be ok. I promise." Kendall said.

"I love you, Kendall. So much." I said.

Kendall kissed the top of my head. "I love you too, Logie."

I looked up at him, and I could still see tears in his eyes. I didn't want Kendall to cry. I was going to be fine, so he shouldn't be crying.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." Kendall said.

I closed my eyes again, and I could still hear my daughter crying. After a few seconds, it seemed to be fading out. I listened carefully to Kendall's heartbeat, and that was the last thing I heard.

**A/N: Ugh! i suck a birth scenes. oh well. anyway so Logan finally had his baby. yay! lol. im sorry to say i wont be able to update at all this weekened. i'm going to colorado for a BTR concert =D. I promise i will update as soon as i get back. i have to go pack now. ugh! bye =)**


	52. Chapter 52

**Hi I'm back! OMG the concert was AMAZING! ! ! ! ! ! Logan was so hot. I mean so were James, Kendall and Carlos, but Logan. WOW! He touched my hand and smiled at me and pointed at me a few times. I took lots of pics and vids, so I will post those on my facebook and twitter, and youtube lol. If you guys want to follow me on twitter I'm BTR_Obsession. So yeah you can follow me if you want. And I'm so sorry I didn't get to update, but I wrote this chap on my way to Colorado. I was going to write the next one, but I got really carsick. Anyway sorry this chap was short, but I will get the next one up tomorrow. Well bye for now, and if you guys want to know more on the concert, feel free to pm me. Bye =D**

**Kendall's POV**

I paced the waiting room of the hospital nervously. James and Carlos were sitting quietly, but I couldn't sit still. I was so worried about Logan and the baby. I knew they were going to be ok, but I wanted a doctor to tell me that. But no one has showed up to tell us how Logan and the baby were doing.

I kept praying that my Logie was ok. He didn't look that good right after he delivered. He was paler then usual and covered in sweat. At first I thought he was fine, then I noticed all the blood. It was all over Logan and the bathroom floor. Even the towels were soaking wet with it. This was exactly like the day Logan was rushed to the hospital when he was bleeding pretty badly. Except this time it was ten times worse.

I knew I shouldn't have left Logan alone, but I thought he was going to be ok. I didn't know any of this would happen. But Logan and the baby were going to be ok. I just know it. Logan may seem small and fragile, but he's strong, and I know he can get out of this.

"Kendall, please sit down." James said.

"I cant." I said.

"Please? You're making us more nervous." James said.

"I cant help it. I'm so scared." I said.

"I know, but there's nothing to be afraid of. Logan is going to be ok." James said.

"But there was so much blood." Carlos said.

"He's going to be fine. So both of you stop worrying, and relax." James said.

I walked over to the chair besides James, and sat down. I sighed and covered my face with my hands. I didn't want to worry, but I couldn't help it. I love Logan so much, and I cant help but worry about him. I just had to keep telling myself that he was going to be ok. In a few minutes, a doctor is going to walk out and tell us Logan's ok. I just knew it.

"Logan Mitchell?"

I quickly stood up, and practically ran over to the doctor. James and Carlos followed me, and we all waited to hear the news on Logan and the baby. Before I could ask how Logan was, James spoke first.

"How's the baby?" he asked.

"She is doing just fine. We thought there would be a few problems, but she's doing perfectly fine." the doctor said.

"How's Logan? Can we see him?" I asked.

The doctor sighed. "I'm so sorry, but he passed away."

"W-what?" I asked.

"He lost too much blood. We did everything we could, but nothing saved him. I'm so sorry." the doctor said.

"No you're lying. My Logie's not dead." I said.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." the doctor said.

I let out a sob, and fell to my knees. I covered my face with my hands and screamed. Logan wasn't dead. He just cant be. I could hear Carlos sobbing, but James wasn't making a sound. How come Carlos and I were crying, but James wasn't. Was he glad Logan's dead?

I felt arms wrap around me, and I knew who it was. I didn't want James touching me at all.

"Get off me!" I said.

James immediately let me go, and I stood up. I ran out of the hospital, and sat down on the curb. I covered my face with my hands, and sobbed loudly. I didn't care if people heard me. I just lost the most important person in my life.

My heart felt like a piece of it was missing, and there was only one person who was that missing piece. Logan was my everything. I loved him so much, and I would do anything for him. He was my friend, my lover, my forever. But now he was gone, and its all James's fault.

James was the one who got Logan pregnant. If Logan never carried that baby, then he would still be alive. James was also the one who dragged me out of the apartment. I should've just stayed with Logan, then everything would be ok. But nothing was ok. Logan was gone, and it was all because of James.

I stopped crying when I felt a rain drop land on my head. I looked up at the night sky, and I started crying again. Just thinking of Logan being up there made me cry harder. My Logie was gone, and never coming back.

"Kendall?"

I felt my heart fill up with so much hate when I heard his voice. He took Logan away from me, and he wasn't even sorry. He only cared about his little girl. But when it came to Logan, he didn't give a fuck. I hated James. I absolutely hated him. He wasn't my friend. He was my enemy.

I turned away when he sat down next to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged him off.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry. I didn't think this would happen." James said.

"Its all your fault." I said.

"I didn't do anything." James said.

"Bullshit! You're the one who got him pregnant in the first place. You're the one who made Logan so miserable, that he was so fragile and he couldn't take giving birth. And you're the one who left him alone." I said.

"You left him too." James said.

"Because you made me!" I screamed.

"Kendall, don't blame Logan's death on me." James said.

"But you are to blame, James. You killed him, and you don't even care." I said.

"Don't you dare say that I murdered our best friend. I loved him, Kendall, and I didn't kill him." James said.

"You don't even care that he's gone. Carlos and I are crying our eyes out, and yours are still dry. Why is that, James?" I asked.

"Because I'm shocked ok? I didn't know this was going to happen, so stop blaming me for it." James said.

"But you're the one to blame. You caused Logan to suffer, and now look….he's dead." I said.

"Kendall, its not my fault. It was just his time." James said.

"No it wasn't! He had his whole life to live, and a daughter to raise. We were supposed to get married and start a family of our own. But you ruined that." I said.

"Kendall…."

"Just leave me the fuck alone."

James sighed and stood up from the curb. As soon as he was gone, I started sobbing again. I didn't want to believe Logan was gone. I just didn't want to believe that my Logie was gone forever.

I was going to propose to him, then later start a family. I wanted to see Logan become the doctor he always wanted to be, I wanted to see Logan's beautiful smile, I wanted to hear Logan's sweet voice, I wanted to get lost in those brown eyes of his, but more importantly, I wanted to hear him say he loves me.

I was never going to see Logan again. I was never going to hear his beautiful voice. I was never going to wake up to him, or see him before I went to bed.

He was gone, and never coming back


	53. Chapter 53

**James POV**

I walked back into the hospital, and went inside the men's bathroom. I slid down to the floor, and covered my face with my hands. My eyes stung because of the tears I was holding back, but now I could let them fall.

I didn't want to believe that Logan was dead. He just couldn't be. Just a few hours ago we were welcoming our little girl, and now Logan's gone. Logan wasn't supposed to be gone. He was supposed to be here with his friends and daughter.

I was upset that I lost one of my best friends, but I was also angry with Kendall. I wasn't the one responsible for Logan's death, but Kendall was accusing me for it. Logan didn't die because of me, he just couldn't handle bringing our daughter into the world. It wasn't my fault…..right?

What if Kendall was right? Did I kill Logan? I was the one who got him pregnant, I was the one who made him really stressed out. Maybe I did kill him. But what about Kendall? He is to blame as well. He also made Logan miserable and a mess. I guess we are both responsible for Logan's death.

I didn't think any of this would happen, but it did. I didn't think one of my best friends would die this young, and with so much to live for. Kendall was right, Logan did have his whole life to live, and he didn't even get the chance. He didn't get to become a doctor, he didn't get the chance to spend one more day with his friends and family, and he didn't even get the chance to raise his daughter.

Logan and I were supposed to raise her together, but now I was alone. How was I supposed to do this? I don't know anything, and I'm not fit to be a parent. Logan even said so himself that the only thing I care about is myself.

I cant raise this baby on my own. I need Logan to help do this, but he's not here. I was forced to do this all by myself. I didn't want to do this. There is no way I can raise my daughter without Logan. I need his wisdom and guidance, but now I didn't have it. But I cant leave my baby alone. If Logan was here, he would make me choose our daughter over him. I need to be here for her, because that is something Logan would want me to do.

I stood up from the floor, and wiped my eyes. I walked over to one of the sinks, and I splashed water on my face. When I looked it the mirror, I noticed how awful I looked. My eyes were red, and my hair was a mess. Usually I would complain, then quickly touch up, but now I didn't care about my appearance. There was other things to worry about, and my hair wasn't one of them.

I walked out of the bathroom, and went back into the waiting room. Kendall still wasn't there, but Carlos was. He was sitting in a chair with his hands hidden in his face. I could tell he was still crying because his body was shaking, and he would let out little whimpers.

"Carlos?"

He looked up at me, and could see how bad he really looked. His eyes were red like mine, but his were puffy. Even his face was stained with tears. Carlos just looked plain awful. He wasn't his usual self. I don't think any of us were.

"J-James?" he asked.

"I'm here, Carlos." I said.

Carlos ran over to me, and hugged me tightly. I held onto him as he cried into my chest. He whimpered, and I rubbed his back soothingly.

"He's gone. Our little Logie's gone." Carlos said.

"I know, I know." I said.

"I miss him, James. I miss him so much." Carlos said.

"I know. I miss him too." I said.

"Why did he leave us, James? Why?" Carlos sobbed.

"I don't know, Carlos, but everything's going to be ok." I said.

"N-no its not. L-Logan is g-gone. Nothing will b-be ok." Carlos said.

"We're gonna through this." I said.

Carlos nodded into my chest, but I knew he didn't believe me. How were we supposed to get through this? It just seemed impossible to me. We probably never will get through this. How could we?

"Mr. Diamond?"

I turned around and saw the doctor standing behind me. I was hoping he was going to tell us that Logan was ok, and that this was all a sick joke, but I had a feeling this wasn't a joke. Logan was really gone, and I was just telling myself its not true.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You're welcome to see your daughter now." the doctor said.

"Ok. Can we see Logan too?" I asked.

The doctor hesitated for a minute, then nodded his head. The doctor walked away, and I turned back to Carlos.

"Do we get to see him?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah. Um can you go tell Kendall? He'll probably want to say goodbye too." I said.

Carlos nodded, then left the waiting room. Once Carlos was out of sight, I started crying again. I wanted to see Logan, but then I didn't. If I saw him, it would just hurt to know that he was never going to wake up. Seeing his lifeless form would be too much for me. But I wanted to see Logan one more time. He was my best friend, and I needed to say my goodbyes. No matter how hard it was going to be.

"Mr. Diamond?"

I quickly wiped my eyes, then turned around. More tears started flowing when I saw a nurse holding my daughter in her arms. The nurse gently handed me my little girl, then walked away.

She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She had soft dark hair , fair skin with a little pink tint to her cheeks, and the most beautiful brown eyes in the world. I started crying even harder when I realized something. She looked just like Logan.

My daughter started crying, so I rocked her gently. After a few minutes, she started to calm down. She looked up at me, and I could see a part of Logan in her eyes. My little girl was beautiful, and loved her so much. I cant believe I almost didn't want her. She was absolutely perfect.

I gave my baby girl a kiss on head, and held her tightly to my chest. I never ever wanted to let her go. She was my little girl, and would never abandon her. She meant the world to me.

I just wish Logan was here to see her. I knew he loved her anyway, but I knew if he saw her for the first time, he would fall in love all over again. Even though Logan's gone, he's still here. He can still watch over us and his daughter. Even though we lost Logan, we still got something in return. But it wasn't the same.

I looked back down at my daughter, and gave her another kiss. She squirmed for a little while, then she drifted off to sleep. I smiled, and rocked her gently in my arms.

"Daddy loves you so much, Savannah."

**A/N: I know you guy are beyond pissed about Logan, but i just wanted to try something different. i dont really think its a big deal that Logan is gone. i mean yeah its sad, but i have my reasons. i will focus on james and the baby. even kendall because he is hurting too. i will update later.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Kendall's POV**

It felt like I have been sitting on this curb for hours. I've made many attempts to go back inside the hospital, but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to go in there for anything. I hated this hospital so much. They could've saved my Logan, I know they could, but they didn't. I hated this place. I hated it.

I wanted to go home. I wanted to crawl into my warm bed, and snuggle close to Logan. But that wasn't going to happen. Logan wasn't going to go home and cuddle with me. I was going to be alone tonight, and I wasn't ready for that.

Just thinking about being alone tonight and the next night, and every night for the rest of my life, made me break down. I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I could try and move on, but I cant. Logan is the hardest person to forget. He will never leave my mind.

I can never forget about Logan. I love him so much, and I just cant forget about him. I don't know how I was going to get through this, but I have to try. No matter how difficult it was going to be.

I shouldn't have blown up on James, but I was just so upset. I didn't mean to lash out, but I just lost the love of my life. Losing Logan is the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I didn't think I would ever feel this way, but now I was.

I just hope I didn't lose my friends. James was probably upset with me, but I hope he can forgive me. I feel so alone, and right now I really need my best friends.

"K-Kendall?"

I turned around to see Carlos standing behind me. This was the first time I've ever seen Carlos so upset. You could tell he was still crying because of how bad his eyes looked. He looked ten times worse then when he first lost his helmet.

Carlos sat down next to me, and I turned away. I was glad he was here, but I didn't want him to see me like this. I'm supposed to be the strong leader, and now I was weak. I didn't feel like myself anymore now that Logan wasn't here with me. When Logan left, he took a part of me with him.

"Kendall, are you ok?" Carlos asked.

"I wish I could say I was. I'm a mess, Carlos." I said.

"We all are." Carlos said.

"You guys don't understand. Yeah he was all of our best friend, but he was more then my best friend. He was my world, and now I don't have him anymore." I said.

"I'm so sorry, Kendall. I wish Logan wasn't gone. I miss him so much." Carlos said.

"I miss him too. I just want to see him one more time." I said.

"You can."

"What?"

"The doctor said we can see Logan." Carlos said.

"I can see him?" I asked.

Carlos nodded. "That's why I came out here. James wants us all to be there to say goodbye."

"Lets go then." I said.

We both stood up from the curb, and went back into the hospital. I practically ran into the waiting room, and I found James. He was holding a small bundle in his arms, and I knew what it was. I was a little curious about the baby, but then I wasn't. I would rather see Logan then the baby. I loved Logan more.

James looked up at us, but didn't say anything. I wanted to talk to him, but right now I really wanted to see my Logie. The doctor came back, and led us to the room Logan was in. I was really nervous about Logan. He wasn't going to be the same as I remembered him. I wasn't ready for that, but it was too late.

We stopped at the door to the room, and the doctor walked away. Carlos looked at James and I, then slowly opened the door. I took a deep breath, then walked inside. My heart stopped when I saw Logan. He was so pale and lifeless. That wasn't my Logie.

I had to turn away for a few seconds. I just couldn't believe that was Logan. It looked like him, but it wasn't really him. I wanted my Logie back.

I took the first steps toward him, and I slowly reached out. I gently stroked his hand, then took it in mine. His hand was a little warm, but it lacked the warmth Logan had when he was alive.

Tears slipped from my eyes, and landed on Logan's hand. I didn't want to cry in front of my friends, but I couldn't hold back my tears. Right now I couldn't be the strong leader everyone knew me to be. I just couldn't be strong seeing Logan like this. I just felt like collapsing to the floor, and crying in the nearest corner. I didn't feel like myself, and I probably never will be.

Carlos walked over to the other side of Logan, and grabbed his hand. James just stood by the door, cradling his daughter in his arms. I looked up at Carlos when I heard him crying. I could tell Carlos was really upset, but his pain could never compare to mine. Everyone can say they will miss Logan so much, but no one will ever miss him as much as me. My pain was different from everybody else's.

I sat down in the chair next to the bed, and I laced Logan's fingers with mine. I wanted so much for him to squeeze my hand, but he never did. I wish he would wake up and smile at me, but he never would. He was never going to do the things I wish he would. I brought his hand up to my lips, and kissed it gently.

"I love you." I whispered.

I kept his hand to my lips as I silently cried. I wanted him to wake up and say he loved me back. I just wanted to hear him say those three little words one more time. I felt small arms wrap around me, and knew it was Carlos. I buried my face into his chest, and sobbed. I clung to Carlos for dear life, and I never wanted to let go.

"Its ok, Kendall. Its ok." Carlos said.

"No its not. He's gone. My Logie's gone." I sobbed.

"I know, but James and I will be here for you." Carlos said.

"But I need Logan here with me. I need him so bad. I'm nothing without him." I said.

"I know." Carlos said.

"Why did this have to happen? He didn't deserve this." I said.

"Things happen for a reason, Kendall." James said.

I looked up at James, and saw that he had tears streaming down his face. I was wrong about James, he really did miss Logan. I felt bad for accusing James for Logan's death, but I couldn't help it. I was just upset, and my anger took over. I hope James can forgive me. It was stupid for us to keep fighting. We need to stop this for good, and just be there for each other.

"James, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out, I was just upset and angry that Logan was taken from me." I said.

"Its ok Kendall. I don't blame you for hating me. I was the one who screwed up and made Logan miserable." James said.

"We all did, well except Carlos." I said.

"I hurt him too. I betrayed him as a friend, and now I wish I never did that." Carlos said.

"I wish I never fought with him. Its all my fault this happened." I said.

"Kendall, don't blame yourself. Its nobody's fault this happened." James said.

"Then why do I feel so guilty? I feel like it is my fault." I said.

My friends didn't say anything, so I turned back to Logan. I kissed his hand again, then rubbed his forehead soothingly.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Logie. I never should've done the things I did. You deserved more love and respect, and I'm sorry I didn't give you enough of that. I love you so much, and I wish you would say it back." I said.

"He loved you, Kendall. And I know he forgives you." James said.

"I just want him to wake up." I said.

"We all do." James said.

Carlos handed me a tissue, and I wiped my eyes. But more tears kept coming back.

"I think your mom needs to know." Carlos said.

I nodded and pulled out my cell phone. I walked out of the room, and called my mom. After a few rings, she answered.

"_Hello?"_

"M-mom."

"_Hi sweetie. Is everything ok?"_

"Mom, I need you to come home."

"_Why?"_

"Something happened."

"_Did you boys burn down the apartment?"_

"Mom, I'm being serious. Please just come home."

"_Sweetheart what's wrong?"_

"Logan had the baby."

"_He did? Oh honey that's wonderful__!"_

"Please mom come home. I really need you."

"_Kendall, what happened?"_

"Logan's….Logan's dead."

The other end of the call was silent for few minutes. I could hear Katie asking my mom what happened, but my mom never responded.

"M-mom?" I asked.

"_I'm here baby. I-I'll be home soon ok?"_

"Ok."

"_I love you."_

"I love you too, mom."

My mom hung up, and I pressed the end button. Tears formed in my eyes when my wallpaper showed up. My back round was a picture of Logan. He was smiling that dazzlingly smile of his, and his brown eyes were sparkling. My tears fell onto the screen, and I soon found myself sobbing again.

I wanted Logan back so bad. There was no way I could live without him. Logan was my everything, but now he was gone.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

After a few minutes of crying out in the hall, I went back into the room. James was standing beside Logan, and holding his hand. Carlos was sitting in a chair, and gently rocking the baby in his arms. I sat back down next to Logan, and kissed his forehead. He was slowly losing his warmth.

"What did your mom say?" James asked.

"That she's on her way." I said.

"Ok." James said.

I looked over at Carlos when the baby started crying. James rushed over and tried to calm his daughter down. After a few minutes, the room was silent again.

"Do you want to hold her?" James asked.

I looked up at James. "What?"

"Do you want to hold her?" James asked again.

"I don't know." I said.

"Just hold her, Kendall. I bet she would love to meet you." James said.

I nodded. "Ok."

James walked over, and gently placed the baby in my arms. I looked down at her, and my heart shattered.

"She looks just like Logan." I said.

"Yeah. Isn't she beautiful?" James asked.

"Very. You should be proud." I said.

"I am, but I just wish Logan was here to see her. At least he got to hold her for a few minutes." James said.

"God I feel so awful." I said.

"Why?" James asked.

"Because Logan kept asking if he could hold her again, and I said no. I told him he couldn't hold his daughter. I didn't give him his last request." I said.

"Kendall, you didn't know." James said.

"But it was still wrong of me. I hope he can forgive me." I said.

"He already has. Logan loved you so much, and he forgives you for ever thing." James said.

"Yeah. You're right." I said.

"Do you think he forgives me?" James asked.

"Of course he does. You're his best friend, and he would forgive you no matter what." I said.

"I miss him so much, and I'm scared about the baby. I'm afraid I'll mess up without Logan." James said.

"Don't worry, James. Carlos and I will help you. Logan wouldn't have wanted us to leave you struggling." I said.

James nodded, and turned back to Logan. He gently rubbed Logan's forehead, then he kissed it. He turned away, and wiped the tears from his eyes. Savannah started crying again, and James rushed over.

"I think she wants her daddy." I said.

James took the baby from me, and gently rocked her in his arms. He started to hum to her, and her eyes slowly closed.

I smiled at the scene in front of me. It was good to see James bonding with his daughter. I couldn't believe he didn't want her before, but now he never wanted to let her go. I wish Logan could be here to see this. He would be so proud of James. I know Logan's still here with us, just not the way I want him to be.

I turned back to Logan, and gently rubbed his knuckles with my thumb. His hands were starting to get cold, and I missed his warmth. I brought his hand up to my lips, and kissed it. I rubbed his forehead, pushing little strands of hair out of the way. I gave him a kiss on the lips, and tears rolled down my face.

"I love you. I love you so much." I whispered.

I didn't know how I was going to get through this, or if I ever will, but I have to try. Logan wouldn't want me crying over him, but I still would. I still had my friends and family to help me get through this, so I wasn't completely alone.

The baby was actually something good. She was a gift to all of us. Yeah Logan lost his life because of her birth, but it wasn't her fault. It was no ones fault.

I may not have Logan with me anymore, but I have Savannah. She was the spitting image of Logan, so I could see a part of him in her everyday. I was glad Savannah was here. I loved her very much, and I would still be there for her.

I know moving on is going to be hard, but I have to try. Logan might not be here physically, but he was here spiritually. And that didn't make me feel so alone.

**A/N: Hi. so this chap was long-ish lol. i hope you guys liked it. i wont be able to update till friday evening cuz im going to a sleepover. i would write, but my friends would be mean to me. they said they hate my stories, so yeah. anyway i will update when i can.**


	55. Chapter 55

**James POV**

The first night with the baby was awful. She would always cry, and most of the time I didn't know why. I tried everything, but it wouldn't calm her down. I didn't understand why nothing was working. I was doing fine at the hospital, but now was different.

I was starting to think that maybe she didn't like me. I was trying my best to make her happy, but she acted like she didn't want me. Maybe she wanted Logan. Maybe she knew her other daddy wasn't here. She probably did want Logan. I know everyone else did.

When we were at the hospital, Kendall was still crying. At one point he started to calm down, but when his mom and Katie showed up, he lost it again. Mrs. Knight and Katie broke down as well when they saw Logan. I've never seen Katie cry in my life, but now I witnessed it.

Mrs. Knight didn't hold anything back. She was almost sobbing as loud as Kendall. Logan was just like one of her sons, and seeing him like this made her lose it. I had a feeling Logan's parents were going to be hysterical when they find out their only son passed away. I hope I wasn't the one who had to tell them. I wouldn't be able to.

When it was time to leave the hospital, Kendall wouldn't go. He latched himself onto Logan's lifeless body, and wouldn't let go. Mrs. Knight tried pulling Kendall away, but Kendall wouldn't budge. He kept screaming and crying that he didn't want to leave his Logie. It broke my heart so much that I had to step out of the room for a minute.

Once Kendall calmed down, we said our goodbyes to Logan, then we left the hospital. On our way back to the Palm Woods, Kendall continued to cry. Carlos cried silently in the backseat, and I tried to be strong. It wasn't something I normally do, but now I had to. Everyone was falling apart.

When we got home, Carlos went to our room, Mrs. Knight and Katie went to theirs and Kendall locked himself in his room. I stood in the living room and gently rocked my daughter in my arms. She started to cry, and I tried to calm her down. I finally got her to fall asleep, then I went into my room.

Carlos was in his bed already asleep. I gently placed the baby in the bassinet by my bed. I changed into my pajamas, and crawled into bed. The minute my head hit the pillow, I was out.

My eyes shot open when my daughter started to cry. I got out of bed and picked her up. I rocked her gently, but she still continued to cry. Carlos let out a groan, and covered his head with his pillow. I left the room, and went into the living room.

Kendall was asleep on the couch, and he stirred in his sleep when I entered the room. I went into the kitchen to make the baby a bottle. I figured she was probably hungry. I let out a frustrated sigh when I was having difficulty with the bottle.

"Need help?"

I turned around to see Kendall leaning over the counter.

"No its ok. I got it." I said.

"James, give me the baby so you can make the bottle." Kendall said.

"I got it." I said.

"I promise I'll give her back. I'm not going to take her away from you forever." Kendall said.

I gently handed Kendall the baby, then I went back to making the bottle. It was a lot easier now that both of my hands were free. When I was finished, I tested the temperature, then walked over to Kendall. He was sitting on the couch, gently rocking Savannah, but she was still crying.

"Do you want to feed her?" I asked.

Kendall looked up at me. "I think you should."

"You do it." I said.

I gave Kendall the bottle, and he looked at it nervously. He snapped out of it when Savannah let out another cry. He slowly placed the bottle to Savannah's lips, and she took it.

"See you're fine." I said.

"Yeah. She's really hungry though." Kendall said.

I yawned. "Yeah she is."

"You tired?" Kendall asked.

"Exhausted." I said.

Kendall nodded in agreement. He looked back down at the baby, and she was still eating.

"Do you want her back?" Kendall asked.

"Um sure." I said.

Kendall carefully handed me Savannah, and she started crying again. I put the bottle back to her lips, and she began eating again.

"Why are you sleeping out here?" I asked.

"I cant sleep in my room. It just doesn't feel the same." Kendall said.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

We fell into an awkward silence, and I didn't like it. I didn't know what I was supposed to tell him. I couldn't tell him I know how he feels, because I really don't know how he feels. He knew Logan better then the rest of us, and he was feeling something totally different then everyone else.

Savannah stopped eating, and I took the bottle out of her mouth. I set it on the coffee table, then I gently burped her.

"I guess I'll put her to bed." I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok."

I said goodnight, then I went back into my room. I placed Savannah back in the bassinet, and I watched her sleep. I gently stroked her head, and she started crying. I picked her up and tried to calm her down, but it wasn't working.

"Shh its ok. Daddy's here." I said.

My daughter continued to cry, and I felt like crying myself. I couldn't calm her down no matter what I did. Tears started to run down my face. I didn't know what to do, and Logan wasn't here to help me. I needed him so much right now. He would probably know what to do.

"Please Logan help me. Please help me." I said.

Savannah kept crying, and I gently rocked her. I walked around the room, still rocking her, but it wasn't working. I stopped in the middle of the room, and I started to hum to her. Savannah stopped crying and looked up at me. I continued to hum to her, and she fell back asleep. I gave her a kiss on the head, then I placed her back in the bassinet.

Once she was settled down for the night, I retreated back to my bed. I didn't fall asleep right away, but laid in the darkness. I couldn't believe it took me that long to calm my daughter down. What if I couldn't do it next time, then what am I supposed to do?

I really need Logan here to help me do this. I was afraid I couldn't do this on my own. I have my friends and Mrs. Knight to help me, but they weren't going to be there for me all the time. I really needed Logan's help, but he wasn't here anymore.

After a few minutes, I finally fell asleep. I managed to survive the first night on my own. I just hope I can get through the others.

**A/N: Sorry this chap was short, but i will update tomorrow. oh and i turned off the Anonymous reviews cuz some asshole was harrassing me. so u have to sign in now. anyway bye =D**


	56. Chapter 56

**Kendall's POV**

I tossed and turned on the orange couch, but I couldn't fall back asleep. The couch was really uncomfortable, but I wouldn't go to my bed. I cant sleep in my room anymore. I just cant.

It feels so weird without Logan sleeping in there. I'm so used to him cuddling up to me, and keeping me warm. I didn't like how cold my room felt. It just didn't feel the same without Logan in it. Nothing felt the same.

I stood up from the couch, and quietly made my way down the hall. I stopped at the room Logan and I used to share. The door was opened halfway, and I peered into the darkness. I took a few steps forward, and I turned on the light.

My eyes filled up with tears when I saw Logan's bed empty. I wanted so badly to see his sleeping form, but I couldn't. The only thing that was on his bed was that giant pillow of his. He really loved that pillow. It always made him comfortable, and I couldn't help but get jealous. Now that pillow is one of the things that reminds me of Logan.

I slowly walked into the room, and it felt cold. I really didn't want to be in here. There was too many memories, and I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't be in here.

I went back out into the living room, and collapsed on the couch. I looked over and found my hockey jersey. Before we left the hospital, the doctor made sure to give me everything Logan had with him. I held the jersey up to my chest, and tears ran down my face. I could still smell Logan's scent on the garment.

I laid down on the couch, and held onto the jersey tightly. This was the only thing that would help me sleep tonight. It almost felt like Logan was cuddling with me, and that's what helped me sleep.

***BTR***BTR***

I woke up when I felt someone shaking me. I groaned and tried to roll over, but failed. I didn't want to wake up right now. I didn't want to wake up ever.

"Kendall, sweetie wake up."

I opened my eyes and found my mom standing over me.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Honey, you need to wake up. Its already noon." my mom said.

"I don't want to wake up." I said.

"Kendall, you have to. The Mitchell's are on their way here." my mom said.

I quickly sat up. "What? Why are they coming here? They cant be here."

"I know, but they said they wanted to see Logan." my mom said with tears in her eyes.

"Did you tell them?" I asked.

"I couldn't. I cant tell them over the phone." my mom said.

"I don't want them to come, mom. I don't want them to know." I said.

"Kendall, they have to know. Logan was their little boy, and….."

My mom started crying, and I pulled her into a hug. I held onto her tightly, and let my own tears fall.

"Mama Knight?"

We pulled apart to see James standing by the hallway, Savannah tightly in his arms. His daughter let out a small whimper, then she started crying. My mom stood up and ran over to James. I could hear them talking softly, but I couldn't make out the words. I was more worried about Logan's parents then anything else. I was afraid they would hate me. What if they blame me for everything? I hope they don't.

The baby stopped crying, and my mom and James sat down next to me. My mom held Savannah in her arms, and James just watched. He was very protective with his daughter, and barely let anyone touch her.

We all looked up when the doorbell rang. My mom handed James the baby, then went to get the door. I could soon hear Logan's mom talking to mine. She sounded so happy and excited about something, but I knew she wasn't going to be like that for long. The Mitchell's walked into the living room, and I quickly wiped my tears away. Mrs. Mitchell's eyes lit up when she saw the baby.

"Oh she's so precious. Can I hold her?" she asked.

James hesitated, then carefully handed Mrs. Mitchell the baby.

"She's beautiful, and she looks just like Logan." Mrs. Mitchell said.

Mr. Mitchell walked over to look at the baby. When he looked at his granddaughter, a small smile spread across his face. I thought he would've smiled bigger like his wife, but he didn't.

"Joanna, what made you decide to stop by?" my mom asked.

"Well since Brian couldn't make it to the shower, we decided to come visit. I wanted to see how Logan was doing, and we wanted to give him a few things for the baby." Mrs. Mitchell said.

"Joanna…." my mom started.

The baby started crying, and Mrs. Mitchell tried to calm her down. It didn't work, so she gently handed her back to James. The baby calmed down, and fell back asleep.

"Where's Logan? I really want to see him." Mrs. Mitchell said.

"Joanna, he's…." my mom started.

"He's asleep isn't he? Oh my poor baby. I'm going to check on him. His room is down the hall, right?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"Joanna, there's something I need to tell you." my mom said.

"What is it, Jen?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

My mom cupped her mouth, and tears ran down her face.

"Jen, what's wrong?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"Its Logan." my mom said.

"Is he ok? What's wrong?" Mr. Mitchell asked.

"He's….he….."

My mom started crying again, and I felt my own tears rolling down my face. My mom wasn't strong enough to tell them, and I knew James wasn't either. It was my job to tell them that Logan was gone. I didn't want to be the one to do it, but I had to.

"Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, I'm so sorry." I said.

"For what dear?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"We didn't know this was going to happen. He just wasn't strong enough." I said.

I could see tears in Mrs. Mitchell's eyes. It didn't look like she knew what I was talking about, but she knew something had happened.

"Logan couldn't handle having the baby." I said.

"What are you saying, Kendall?" Mr. Mitchell asked.

"Logan…..Logan didn't make it." I said.

"No. Not my little boy." Mrs. Mitchell said.

"I'm so sorry." I said.

Mrs. Mitchell broke down, and Mr. Mitchell covered his face with his hands. Mrs. Mitchell sobbed harder, then she fell to the floor. My mom kneeled down beside her, and tried to calm her down. I knew this was how Logan's parents were going to be, but it was hard for me to see it. I couldn't even imagine how much pain they must be in. They lost their only son, and they didn't even get to say goodbye.

The whole apartment was silent, except for Mrs. Mitchell's crying. I wanted so badly to give her a hug, but I couldn't move from the couch. I looked over at James, and he was staring at his daughter. I could see tears rolling down his face.

After a while, Mrs. Mitchell finally calmed down. My mom led her over to the couch, then she went to get some tissues.

"M-Mrs. Mitchell, I'm sorry." I said.

"Its not your fault, dear. Its not your fault." Mrs. Mitchell said.

Everyone kept telling me that, but I didn't believe them. I felt so guilty for Logan's death. I was the one who hurt him so many times, and that was probably one of the things that made him weak. I messed up and I wish I could fix it. If I never did what I did, Logan would still be alive.

I looked over at Mr. Mitchell, and he was still crying. I honestly didn't know what to say. I was hurting too, but their pain was different from mine. I may have been Logan's best friend and boyfriend, but they were his parents. They knew Logan better then anyone else. He was their little boy, and now he was gone.

"Did he suffer?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"No he didn't." I said.

"I wish I could've been there." Mr. Mitchell said.

"At the shower? Or the hospital?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"Both." Mr. Mitchell said.

"You were really busy. It wasn't your fault." Mrs. Mitchell said.

"I wasn't busy. I just didn't want to see him." Mr. Mitchell said.

"What?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"I didn't want to see him. I thought it was weird that our son was pregnant. I didn't want to go and support him with something like that." Mr. Mitchell said.

"He was your son, and he was upset that you didn't go." I said.

"But I didn't want to be there. Yes I love him, but I just couldn't be there. I didn't want people to think differently of me." Mr. Mitchell said.

"Then where were you? What was so important that you couldn't even see your son?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"I went out with some friends. I only told you I had a business trip because I knew you wouldn't have let me go out for a drink. I know I should've gone with you instead, but I couldn't." Mr. Mitchell said.

"I can believe you. Logan was counting on both of us to be there, and you decided to get a drink then to see your son. We haven't seen him since he first moved out here. Were you really on a business trip when I came out here for mothers day? Or did you not want to see him?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"That time I was really on a business trip." Mr. Mitchell said.

"I cant believe you would blow off your own son for a couple of drinks. Logan would be so disappointed in you." Mrs. Mitchell said.

"I was disappointed in him." Mr. Mitchell said.

"Why? He hasn't done anything that could make you disappointed in him." Mrs. Mitchell said.

"He got pregnant." Mr. Mitchell said.

"He didn't know he could! He was only a kid." Mrs. Mitchell said.

Mr. Mitchell turned away, and I could see more tears running down his face. I bet he felt really guilty right now. He missed his chance to see his son one last time. He probably felt extremely awful for blowing Logan off.

Mr. Mitchell stood up from the couch, and left the apartment. Mrs. Mitchell burst into tears again, and my mom pulled her into a hug. I sighed and looked over at James. His eyes were still glued to the little girl in his arms, but tears were still falling down his face.

Everything was falling apart. Logan's parents were not only upset with each other, but with themselves. The rest of us were just as upset about Logan. Ever since Logan left us, nothing was the same. Everything was slowly falling apart, and I don't think it will ever get fixed. There is no way we will get through this. I thought maybe we could, but I was wrong.

**A/N: HI im sorry this chap was kinda short, but i will update when i can. i almost didnt want to update today, but i know a lot of you guys like this story, so i didnt want to disappoint you. what do you guys think of Logan's dad? he's kind of a jerk huh? i still have a few more chaps left, then it will be over. i think i might actually go past 60 chaps lol. bye =D**


	57. Chapter 57

**James POV**

A few days passed, and things were still awful. Kendall was still a mess, and nothing could cheer him up. He would actually go to his room now, but he would never come out. Carlos was the same. He would stay in our room all day, that is unless the baby was in there.

I couldn't lock myself in my room and cry all day. I had a baby to raise, and all of my time went to her. I was still having a lot of difficulty, but Mrs. Knight started to help me. She finally calmed down enough to help me, but sometimes at night I would still hear her crying.

The Mitchell's were just as upset. They were over here a few days ago to visit Logan, only to find out that he passed away. I couldn't even look up at the Mitchell's when Kendall broke the news to them. I could hear them bawling, but I couldn't look up. I kept my eyes on my daughter, but tears still ran down my face.

I felt so bad for Logan's parents. To find out that your only child was dead, had to be heartbreaking. I could feel their pain, but mine was totally different. Logan was my friend, but he was the Mitchell's baby. If I ever lost my baby girl, I would be devastated. I wouldn't be able to handle it. And that's how the Mitchell's were. They couldn't handle losing their son.

Logan's parents stayed in L.A. for a few days, then they went back to Minnesota. I knew they would come back for the funeral. That was going to be something I knew I wouldn't be able to handle. I didn't want to go to the funeral. It would just make everything more real.

I kept getting calls from Kelly, telling us to be at the studio. Gustavo and Kelly didn't know about Logan, and I didn't know when I was going to tell them. Every time Kelly called, I would ignore her. I wasn't ready to tell them, but I knew I had to eventually.

"C'mon Kendall. We have to do this." I said.

"I don't want to tell them. I cant." Kendall said.

We were standing outside of Rocque Records, ready to tell Gustavo and Kelly about Logan. I didn't want to do this, but they had to know. Kendall wasn't up to telling them, so I knew I had to be the one to do it.

"I'll tell them ok? You don't have to do it." I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok."

I turned away and looked over at Carlos. He was holding the baby, and staring down at her. He really loved Savannah, and he was trying to create a bond with her. He even called her the other Logan. She resembled Logan so much, that Carlos decided that she was our new Logan. But no one can replace Logan. He was irreplaceable.

I took a deep breath, then led my friends into the building. I was hoping Gustavo was too busy for us, but I knew he wasn't. I was just hoping he was so I didn't have to tell them. We walked down the small hallway with all the previous boy bands on the walls. Kendall kept his eyes on the floor, but he looked up when we passed our poster. His eyes met Logan's picture, and he quickly looked away. I rested my hand on his shoulder, and gently squeezed it.

"Where have you been?" Kelly asked as she walked up to us. "Gustavo needed you here two hours ago."

"We need to tell you something." I said.

Kelly looked over at a crying Kendall, then back to me.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Where's Gustavo?" I asked.

"In his office." Kelly said.

I walked into Gustavo's office, and found him rubbing his head. I knew he was probably upset with us. We've been ignoring his calls all week, and then when we do show up, we're two hours late. Gustavo looked up at us, and I prepared myself for the yelling that was sure to come.

"Dogs! Sound booth. Now!" Gustavo said.

"Gustavo….." I started.

"I don't want to hear why you were late, just get to work. Where's the other dog?" Gustavo asked.

The minute Gustavo said that, Kendall started crying again.

"What? What did I say?" Gustavo asked.

"Gustavo, we cant record today." I said.

"Why not? I needed you boys here all week, and you blew me off. You don't get to decide when you want to record. I'm the boss, and I call the shots." Gustavo said.

"You don't understand. We cant record without Logan." I said.

"Then tell him to get over here and record." Gustavo said.

"He's….he's gone." I said.

"Then find him. I don't have all day." Gustavo said.

"Gustavo, he's….he's….." I started.

"Dead." Kendall said.

I looked over at Kendall, and he was looking down at the floor. I could still see tears running down his face. Kelly let out a gasp, and cupped her mouth.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Gustavo asked.

"Do you think we would joke about something like this?" I asked.

"How…..how did he….die?" Kelly asked.

"He couldn't handle giving birth. He wasn't strong enough." I said.

"I'm so sorry." Kelly said.

"We cant record anymore ok? We just cant." I said.

"But what about the band?" Kelly asked.

"I don't think we can continue it anymore." I said.

"Yes you can. Big Time Rush will just be a threesome now. It will still work." Gustavo said.

"No it wont. Without Logan there is no band." I said.

"Then we'll replace him. It happens all the time." Gustavo said.

"How dare you try and replace Logan. He cant be replaced." Kendall said.

"Then what do you want me to do?" Gustavo asked.

"Send us home." Kendall said.

"I will not let you ruin this band." Gustavo said.

"Its already ruined. Without Logan, there is no Big Time Rush." Kendall said.

"Then I'll make James go solo. He's always wanted that anyway." Gustavo said.

"I don't want to do that. I would rather sing with my friends." I said.

"I am not going to let this band end. You boys are the reason I'm on the top of the list." Gustavo said.

"Just stop thinking about yourself for once. We just lost someone very important to us, and you're upset about this stupid band." Kendall said.

Gustavo went silent, and looked down at his desk. Kendall was right. Gustavo was more upset about the band then Logan. Even though we've been there for Gustavo, he acted like he didn't even care about Logan. I don't know if he actually didn't care, or if this was his way of grieving.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Savannah started crying. I had totally forgotten that she was with us. Carlos was trying his best to calm her down, but not having any luck. He finally gave up and handed her to me. The minute she was in my arms, she calmed down.

"She's beautiful." Kelly said.

I looked up at her. "Thank you."

"You boys are dismissed." Gustavo said.

"What about the band?" Carlos asked.

"I'll discuss it with Griffin." Gustavo said.

Kendall rolled his eyes, then walked out of the office. I sighed, and Carlos and I followed. I knew Kendall was upset, but I didn't know how to cheer him up. I better learn how though, because the funeral was coming up, and Kendall's really going to need us.

***BTR***BTR***

"I cant believe I'm doing this." Kendall said as he fixed his tie in the mirror.

"I know, but Logan would've wanted you to." I said.

"I shouldn't be burying my boyfriend. That's just something you're not supposed to do." Kendall said.

"I know." I said.

"I just miss him so much." Kendall said.

"I miss him too, but we're all here for you." I said.

"I know, but its still not the same without Logan. It'll take me a while to move on from this." Kendall said.

I patted Kendall on the shoulder, and he turned around to hug me. I held onto him tightly, and he cried into my chest. We pulled apart when we heard a knock on the bedroom door.

"Guys, Mama Knight says its time to go." Carlos said.

I nodded. "Ok."

Kendall wiped his eyes, then we walked out of the bedroom. Mrs. Knight was standing by the front door, gently rocking the baby in her arms. She looked up at us when we entered the living room.

"You boys ready?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"No." Kendall said.

"It'll be ok, Kendall." I said.

Katie walked into the living room in her black dress, and I could see tear stains on her cheeks. When she saw me looking at her, she quickly looked away. Mrs. Knight handed me Savannah, and I held her tightly. We left the apartment, and went to do something we weren't ready for. We weren't ready to bury our best friend.

I stood quietly as I listened to the priest say a few prayers for Logan. I couldn't look up at the casket in front of us. I didn't want to see Logan's lifeless body. On one side of me, I could hear Kendall crying softly. My own tears ran down my face, and landed on my daughters blanket. I kept my eyes glued to Savannah's, but that made me cry more. It felt like I was looking into Logan's eyes.

I looked around, and I could see everyone crying. The Mitchell's clung to each other, and cried their eyes out. Mrs. Knight held onto Katie as they both cried. Even Gustavo and Kelly were crying. Camille was looking down at her feet, but I could still see her tears rolling down her face.

After the priest finished, we were allowed to say our final goodbyes. The Mitchell's walked up to the casket, and said their goodbyes to their son. They gave Logan a kiss, then walked away. Everyone else went next, then it was just Carlos, Kendall and I.

Carlos went first, and gave Logan a kiss on the forehead. Carlos let out a sob, then walked away. Kendall went next, and he gently stroked Logan's cheek. He whispered something to Logan, then he gave him a kiss on the lips. Kendall rubbed Logan' hand, but broke down when he touched Logan's promise ring. Kendall fell to his knees, and Mrs. Knight quickly rushed over to him. Mrs. Knight led Kendall away from the casket, and he kept screaming for Logan.

Tears rolled down my face when I heard Kendall's screams. I hated seeing him like this. I gave Carlos the baby, then I walked up to the casket. When I saw Logan, my heart broke even more. I couldn't believe that was my best friend. He shouldn't be in there, he should be with us back at the Palm Woods. He should be sitting on the couch, getting lost in one of his medical books, he should be singing with us at the studio, he should be here with us and his daughter.

I slowly reached out, and stroked Logan's cheek. He was ice-y cold, and his skin wasn't soft anymore. It looked like Logan, but it wasn't him. I gently ran my hand over the soft material of his black cardigan. Kendall wanted to dress Logan in his favorite cardigan. It was something Logan wore a lot, and Kendall thought Logan would want to be buried in it.

"Hey buddy. I really miss you, but I know you're in a better place. I just wish you didn't have to go there so soon. We really need you here with us. Savannah especially needs you. She cries a lot, and I think most of the time its for you. She must know you're not here. I really wish you were. I cant do this by myself. Please help me somehow, Logan. I really need you. And please help Kendall too. He really needs you. He's not the same without you. Just please try to be there for him. Let him know you're still here. I love you so much, Logan, and please don't ever forget that." I said.

I leaned down, and kissed Logan softly on the forehead. My tears rolled down my face, and landed on Logan's head.

"I love you, Logan. You're the greatest friend I've ever had. I love you so much." I said.

After I said my goodbyes, I joined Carlos and Logan. We watched as our best friend was lowered into the ground. We all held onto each other tightly, and cried for our friend.

**A/N: This chap made me really emotional. it just reminded me so much of my grandma's funeral. it also didnt help that i was listening to sad songs while writing this. i will update soon, but the chaps will probably still be sad. i hope this didnt make anyone cry, and if i did im sorry. bye for now.**


	58. Chapter 58

**Kendall's POV**

That night I collapsed on my bed, and buried my face into my pillow. Tears came to my eyes, then started rolling down my face. I couldn't believe I had to bury Logan today. You're never supposed to bury your boyfriend, but I had to.

I tried to be strong at the funeral, but I failed. I just couldn't handle seeing Logan like that. He looked and felt so different. I didn't want to believe that was him, but it was. Reality finally set in for me.

When I saw his promise ring, that made me lose it. That was a symbol of our love. It was a promise that we would be together forever. But now Logan wasn't here. We wouldn't be together forever like I once thought.

I sat up, and rubbed my eyes. I knew they were red and puffy from all the crying I did today. I looked over at Logan's bed, and more tears came to my eyes. I stood up from my bed and walked over to his. I slowly ran my hand over the comforter, then stopped when I touched his pillow.

I really did hate that pillow, but now I wanted to cuddle with it. I grabbed his pillow, and took it with me to my bed. I laid down and cuddled with the giant pillow. I buried my face into the pillow, and I could smell Logan's scent on it.

I held onto the pillow tightly, and let my tears fall onto it. It almost felt like Logan was cuddled up against me. But just almost. I needed my Logan here with me. I needed him so much, but he was never coming back. I just wanted to see him one more time. I had to be with him. And I will do whatever it takes to do that.

I got up from my bed, and went into the connecting bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I didn't see Kendall Knight. I wasn't myself at all. I didn't recognize the person staring back at me. The only way I would be the Kendall Knight everyone knew, was if I had Logan back. But Logan wasn't here.

I wiped my eyes again, then started going through the medicine cabinet. There was a lot of things I could take, but I wanted something different. I started going through all the drawers, hoping this was where Logan had hidden it. After a few minutes of searching, I found it. I slowly reached into the drawer, and pulled out the knife.

"I miss you, Logie. And I need to be with you. I will do anything to be where you are." I said.

I studied the knife for a minute, trying to decide if this was something I wanted to do. And it was. This was the only way I would feel better. This was the only way I will be with Logan again.

I placed the blade over my wrist, and slowly grazed the skin. I let out a hiss when I could feel the pain. I looked at my wrist, but not enough blood was spilling. I sliced my wrist deeper this time, and blood started trickling down my arm. Soon there was blood all over me and the bathroom sink.

I switched arms, and started to slice that wrist. I let out a cry when I went too deep. I dropped the knife, and clutched my wrist tightly. Blood oozed out of the wound, and I started to feel sick.

Everywhere I looked I saw blood, but I couldn't stop cutting. I wanted to see Logan again. I picked up the knife, but didn't cut. This voice kept telling me to not do it. I tried to ignore it, but it was hard.

I finally had enough strength, and I ignored the pleading voice. I sliced over my wrist again, and more blood ran down my arm. After a few more cuts to my arms, I felt really sick. I dropped the knife again, and I fell to the floor.

I tried getting up, but I was too weak. I looked at my wrists, and I saw all the damage I caused. My wrists and arms had cuts all over them. I looked at the floor, and there was blood all over.

My eyes started to flutter, but I tried to keep them open. I wanted to stay awake for a few more minutes, but my body was tired. But if I go to sleep, all of the pain would go away. My eyes closed, and I started to feel better.

I heard someone whisper my name, and I slowly opened my eyes. Right in front of me was Logan.

"Logie?" I whispered.

He looked at me, then his eyes fell to my wrists. He stared at them for a minute, then he shook his head. When he looked back up at me, I could see that his brown eyes were sad. He was upset with me. He didn't like what I did.

"Logie, I'm sorry." I whispered.

He slowly reached out, but stopped. He looked towards the bathroom door, then he disappeared.

"Logie, don't leave me. Please don't leave me." I whispered.

My eyes fluttered again, then everything went black.

**A/N: I am soooooo sorry this was short. i know it was stupid for Kendall to do that, but he just really misses Logan. i promise he isnt dead or going to die. i cant kill kendall when i already killed Logan. so kendall is fine, but he just needs a little help. i will update tomorrow, and i will try to make it longer this time. anyway i hope you guys liked it, and it stuff lol. bye =D**


	59. Chapter 59

**James POV**

I sat quietly in the living room while everyone else went to bed. I looked down at my daughter in my arms, and I watched her sleep. I couldn't believe how much she looked like Logan. It was hard finding a part of me in her, but she was beautiful regardless.

I decided to put her down, then maybe come back out here. It was quiet, and I just wanted to enjoy it for a few minutes. I stood up from the couch, and I went into my bedroom. Carlos was already fast asleep, and snoring softly. I gently placed Savannah in the bassinet, then went back into the living room.

I actually should be going to sleep like everyone else, but I couldn't. There was just so much going on in my mind, and sleep was just out of the question. How could I possibly sleep after today's events? Burying Logan wasn't easy, and was something I didn't want to do. It was difficult to see Logan in that casket. It just didn't seem or feel real.

I knew I wasn't the only one who felt this way. Kendall was obviously feeling the same way. I knew he didn't want to believe that his Logan was gone. No one wanted to believe it.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard soft crying. I knew immediately it was Kendall. I felt like going and checking on him, but he needed to be alone. But he already felt alone since Logan wasn't here, and I didn't want to leave Kendall alone now.

I listened carefully as he continued to cry, then he stopped. I figured he had fallen asleep, and I didn't want to bother him. I started to feel sleepy, so I stood up from the couch to go to bed.

Right as I started heading towards my room, I heard a loud thump. It sounded like it came from Kendall's room, and I started to panic. I ran into his room, but he wasn't there. I figured he was in the bathroom, so I went in there.

I gasped when I opened the door. Kendall was laying on the floor, and covered in blood. There was a knife next to him, and deep cuts all over his arms. I ran up to him, and kneeled down beside him. I started shaking him gently.

"Kendall. Kendall, don't do this man. Please wake up." I said.

He didn't move, so I shook him a little harder. His head rolled to the side, but his eyes remained closed.

"Oh god Kendall wake up. Please wake up." I said.

I grabbed one of his cut up wrists, and checked to see if he had a pulse. I sighed in relief when he did, but it was faint. I checked to see if he was breathing, but he wasn't.

"No, Kendall no." I said.

I started to panic even more. Kendall wasn't breathing. He wasn't breathing. I finally calmed down enough, and I gave him mouth to mouth resuscitation. I pulled away from his mouth, but he still wasn't breathing.

"C'mon Kendall breathe. Don't do this to me. I cant lose you too." I said.

I continued to give him mouth to mouth, then I pulled away when I heard him gasp.

"Kendall? Kendall, say something." I said.

"J-James?" he croaked.

"I'm here buddy. I'm here." I said.

"Where's Logan?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Where's my Logie?" Kendall asked again.

"He's gone, Kendall. Remember?" I asked.

"But I saw him." Kendall said.

"I'm going to get you help ok? Don't move." I said.

Kendall quickly grabbed my arm. "Don't leave me, James."

"I'll only be gone for a minute. I promise I'll be right back." I said.

I stood up from the floor, and I went to get Mrs. Knight. I didn't know what possessed Kendall to do this to himself, but it scared me. I was so afraid I was going to lose him. I cant lose both Logan and Kendall. I just cant.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

We had been at the hospital for a few hours, and I was starting to get worried. We haven't heard anything on Kendall, and everyone was freaking out. Mrs. Knight was still in tears, and I felt so bad for her. When she found Kendall on the floor, she was hysterical. Katie was just as upset, but she quickly called for help while Carlos helped me take Kendall into the living room.

I tried calming down Mrs. Knight, but I couldn't. She just couldn't take seeing her son like this. It must be very hard and scary to see your own child like that. I know it scared me, and I bet it terrified Mrs. Knight.

"Kendall Knight?"

We all looked up when the doctor walked up to us. Mrs. Knight jumped up and we followed her.

"How is he?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"He is doing much better now. We gave him some medication to help with the pain, and to help him sleep." the doctor said.

"Can we see him?" Mrs. Knight asked.

The doctor nodded his head, and we all headed towards the room Kendall was in. Carlos opened the door, and Mrs. Knight ran in. She went up to the bed, and grabbed Kendall's hand. Soon the room was filled with Mrs. Knight's sobbing. Katie walked up to her brother, and she cried too. I wanted to go up and grab Kendall's hand, but I had my daughter in my arms. I could easily hand her to someone, but I decided to let the Knight's see Kendall first.

"Thank you, James. You saved him." Mrs. Knight said.

"You're welcome. I just couldn't let him…um….."

I didn't want to finish that sentence. I didn't want to bring up death, especially when we just lost Logan, and Kendall had attempted suicide.

Mrs. Knight rubbed Kendall's forehead soothingly. "My poor baby." she said.

"What caused him to do this?" Carlos whispered to me.

"I think it has something to do with Logan. He said he saw him." I whispered back.

"Was he seeing things or was Logan really there?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know. Lets just not talk about Logan ok?" I said.

Carlos nodded, then he went over to Kendall. I stayed in the corner, and gently rocked my daughter in my arms. She looked up at me, and I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't get over how perfect she was. I really wanted Logan to see her. I wanted Savannah to have both her parents, but she only had me.

I just wish Logan didn't have to die. If he was still here, Kendall would be ok and not be going off the deep end. I was really worried about Kendall, and I didn't want him to hurt himself. He cant leave us. We need him here.

"L-Logan?"

I looked up when I heard Kendall speak. I was glad he was doing a lot better.

"Sweetheart, he's not here." Mrs. Knight said.

"No I saw him. Where's Logan? I need him." Kendall said.

"Kendall, you didn't see Logan ok." Mrs. Knight said.

"Yes I did. He tried to help me." Kendall said.

"Honey, you didn't…."

"I saw him!" Kendall screamed.

I walked over to the bed, and handed Carlos the baby. I grabbed Kendall's hand, and gently rubbed it

"Kendall, Logan wasn't there. You just lost a lot of blood." I said.

"I saw him, James. He was there. I'm not crazy." Kendall said.

"We're not saying you are, but you need to rest ok? Just take it easy." I said.

"James, he really was there. He just disappeared when he heard you coming. He was there." Kendall said.

I gently rubbed Kendall's forehead, pushing little strands of hair back. I wanted to believe Kendall, but it was hard. Logan couldn't have possibly been there. He's not here anymore, so how could Kendall have seen him? I think Kendall just needed help.

"You believe me, right James?" Kendall asked.

"Kendall, Logan couldn't have been there. He's gone." I said.

"I swear he was there. He was trying to help me." Kendall said.

"Sweetheart, James is right. I think you need to rest right now." Mrs. Knight said.

"I'm not crazy! Logan was there!" Kendall said.

"Katie, get the doctor." Mrs. Knight said.

"No I'm fine! I don't need a doctor. I just need Logan." Kendall said.

Katie hesitated for a minute, then she left the room. She came back a few minutes later with a doctor and a few nurses. We stepped away from Kendall as the doctor gave him more medicine. Kendall kept kicking and screaming, but he finally calmed down after a few minutes.

Once Kendall was calm, the doctors and nurses left the room. Kendall was breathing heavily, and his eyes were closed. I slowly walked up to him, and grabbed his hand.

"Its ok, Kendall. Everything's going to be ok." I whispered.

I wish what I said was true. How could everything be ok? We just lost our friend, and now we were slowly losing Kendall. I didn't want to lose another friend, I just cant. Kendall means a lot to not only me, but to everyone else as well. Kendall cant leave us. He just cant.

I wish everything was going to be ok, but it wasn't. And it probably wont be for a long time.

**A/N: hi sorry again about the short chapter. anyway what did you guy think? do you think Kendall is really crazy? or was Logan there? i still feel bad for Kendall tho. but i will try to get to some happy times k. bye for now =D**


	60. Chapter 60

**Kendall's POV**

A month later, and I found myself doing a lot better. I didn't cut or harm myself in anyway. The only thing I was still having difficulty with was getting over Logan. Some days it seemed like I could do it, but others it didn't. I still needed more time. I just didn't know how much more.

Everyone else seemed to be doing better. My mom had stopped crying, and she would go back to doing normal day things. Carlos was slowly making improvements. He was starting to act like his bubbly, energetic self again. And James, well he was James. He didn't cry much either, but just focused on his daughter.

They had became very close, and it seemed like nothing will ever separate them. James loved his little girl so much, and he showed it everyday.

I tried getting along with Savannah, but it was hard. She resembled Logan so much, that sometimes I couldn't be in the same room with her. She just made me miss Logan even more.

Gustavo still hasn't told us anything about the band, so I figured Big Time Rush was really over. I didn't want it to be, but it wasn't the same without Logan. Nothing was the same anymore.

I mostly stayed locked up in my room all day. Sometimes I couldn't be in there because of all the memories. I still wasn't used to being alone, but I was slowly getting better.

I tried to taking a nap, but I couldn't sleep. My mom told me to take it easy, but I didn't want to all the time. I was doing better, but I don't think everyone believed I was. They did call me crazy, and make me see a physiologist. Only to find out that I was just really depressed, so I was put on anti-depressants. But I was better now, and I didn't really need to take those pills.

I sat up from my bed when I heard a knock on the door. I really didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. I just wanted to be alone. The door to my room opened, and James walked in.

"Hey, you ok?" James asked.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said.

"Listen, there's something I need to tell you." James said.

"If its about me being crazy or about Logan, I don't want to talk about it." I said.

"Its not ok? It something else." James said.

"What is it?" I asked.

James sighed and walked over to my bed. He sat down, then turned to face me.

"I….I don't want to live here anymore." James said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I just cant live here. Its just too hard, and I need to be on my own. I have a daughter now, and I cant stay here forever." James said.

"James, you cant leave. We need you here." I said.

"I cant stay." James said.

"But James…"

"Kendall, I don't want to raise Savannah here. There's too much that I don't want her to know about."

"Please James don't go. I don't want you to leave." I said.

"Then come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me. We can find an apartment and be…."

"James, I cant go with you. My family is here, and so is Carlos. I cant leave them." I said.

"Please Kendall, I need you. I still have really strong feelings for you. Please come with me." James said.

"I cant leave Logan." I said.

"Kendall, he's not here anymore. You just need to move one. Logan would want you to." James said.

"No he wouldn't. He would never want me to forget about him." I said.

"I'm not telling you to forget about him." James said.

"Yes you are. You're asking me to move in with you somewhere, and to be with you." I said.

"I just want you there to help me. I don't want to be alone." James said.

"Then if you don't want to be alone, then you wouldn't leave." I said.

"Please Kendall just come with me. I still love you, and I want Savannah to have two parents that love her." James said.

"She's not mine, James. She belongs to you and Logan." I said.

"But Logan's not here. Please Kendall." James said.

"I cant, James. I still love Logan." I said.

James sighed, and stood up from the bed. He walked over to the door, and grabbed the knob. He hesitated for a minute, then he left the room. I fell back on my bed, and covered my face with my hands.

I didn't want to move in with James. I still love Logan very much, and I cant leave him. Logan may not be here, but I still cant be with James. I know for a fact Logan wouldn't want me to do that. I just cant hurt Logan.

I cant even be Savannah's father. James wanted me to, but I cant. Her parents are James and Logan, and Logan wouldn't want me taking care of his daughter. Its not my place to do that. I stepped down so James could be there for his daughter. I don't fit in Savannah's life.

I know James really wants me to go with him, but I cant. He needs to understand that I haven't moved on completely. I don't want to be will anyone else but Logan. I'm not leaving, no matter how many times James begs me.

**A/N: im so sorry this chap was short, but the next one is a little longer. its already written, so i just need to type it. i thought this story would be over already, but its not. i still have a few more things, then its over. i will update tomorrow ok. oh! and please go check out Angel of Mine by Kylelover101. its a BTR story and an mpreg, but its really good so far. please check it out and give her some nice reviews. and please welcome her to the BTR community. thank you =D**


	61. Chapter 61

**James POV**

I walked out of Kendall's room, and plopped down on the orange sofa. I sighed and covered my face with my hands. I had a feeling it would be too soon to ask Kendall to move in with me. It was too soon for me to tell Kendall that I still had feelings for him. I don't know why I told him all that.

I really should've kept my mouth shut, but Kendall needed to know. I just thought I would have another chance with him. I wanted him to be with Savannah and me, but mostly Savannah. She deserves to have two parents raising her. Logan was supposed to be the other parent, but he left us. I know he never meant to, but I wish he didn't leave. I just really want Kendall to help me raise Savannah. He would be a great father.

"James?" Carlos asked as he entered the living room, a crying Savannah in his arms. "She needs you."

Carlos handed me the baby, and I gently rocked her in my arms. She stopped crying, and looked up at me with those eyes I loved so much.

"You're a great father, James." Carlos said.

I looked up at him. "I'm trying to be."

"Logan would be proud of you." Carlos said.

"I hope so." I said.

"Do you believe Kendall?" Carlos asked.

"About what?"

"About Logan. Was he really there?"

"I don't think so. Kendall was just really depressed, and I think losing all that blood made him hallucinate." I said.

"Oh."

"Why? Do you believe him?" I asked.

"Well maybe. What if Logan really was there? Maybe he came back to check on Kendall." Carlos said.

"I don't think so. Wouldn't he have came back to see how all of us were doing? Not just Kendall?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe he only came back because Kendall really needs him." Carlos asked.

"I really need Logan. I'm raising our daughter on my own. I'm the one who really needs him." I said.

"But James, Kendall and Logan had a very strong bond. Something you didn't really have with him. I think Logan is watching out for Kendall, because he still loves him." Carlos said.

"I need him too, but Logan hasn't shown himself to me." I said.

"Maybe he knows you're ok because you have us helping you with the baby." Carlos said.

"I wont for long." I muttered.

"What?" Carlos asked.

I sighed. "I'm moving out."

"What? Why?" Carlos asked.

"I've been thinking about it, and Savannah and I cant stay here forever. I need my own place to raise her." I said.

"James, you cant leave. We all need you here." Carlos said.

"I cant stay, Carlos. There's too much going on, and I don't want Savannah to be a part of it." I said.

"But what about your friends and Big Time Rush?" Carlos asked.

"There is no Big Time Rush ok? Its over." I said.

"But Gustavo said he would work it out." Carlos said.

"Then why hasn't he called us yet? Its over, Carlos. Everything is over." I said.

"No its not. You're just giving up." Carlos said.

"I'm not giving up. I'm just…"

"Running away."

"I knew you guys wouldn't understand. I'm doing this for Savannah ok? I don't want her to live here." I said.

"Why not? She is loved and cared for here. Logan wouldn't want you to do this." Carlos said.

"I don't care about what Logan wants!" I screamed.

"How can you say that? He's the one who gave you Savannah." Carlos said.

"I know." I said.

"Then respect him." Carlos said.

"I cant stay here anymore. Its too hard, and I know it will be hard for Savannah." I said.

"Just stay, James. This is your home. We can help you with the baby, and everything will be fine." Carlos said.

"Don't you get it? Nothing's fine, Carlos. It never will be." I said.

"Yes it will, James. You just have to move on." Carlos said.

"Its not that easy. Even Kendall cant do it." I said.

"He needs more time, then he'll come around." Carlos said.

"I just wish he would come with me." I said.

"What do you mean?" Carlos asked.

"I told him to come live with me." I said.

"Why did you do that? You know he still loves Logan." Carlos said.

"I know, I know." I said.

"No offense James, but you can be a real idiot sometimes." Carlos said.

"Carlos, I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't apologize to me. Its Kendall you should be saying that to." Carlos said.

"Please don't be mad at me." I said.

"I'm not mad at you, but you shouldn't have done that. Kendall's not ready to move on, and he probably wont be for a while. Just let him move on when he's ready. Don't pressure him to do something he's not ready for." Carlos said.

I nodded. "Ok."

***BTR***BTR***BTR***

A few days later, and I was having second thoughts about moving. I didn't want to leave my friends, but its so hard to live here. Everyday I'm reminded that Logan is no longer with us. The only way I can move on, is if I'm not here. I know no one will want me to leave, but I've made up my mind.

Kendall was finally coming out of his room more, but he wouldn't really talk to me. I knew he was probably still upset with me, but I didn't want him to be. I really love him, and if I have to wait for him, then I will.

I haven't told Mrs. Knight about me wanting to move out yet. I'm afraid she would get upset with me, but I'm almost an adult now, and I have a daughter to raise. I need to be on my own.

I let out sigh, and tossed the newspaper on the coffee table. It was around ten-thirty, and everyone was already asleep, well almost everyone. Carlos started going out with Stephanie again, so he wasn't home at the moment. I was glad he was getting out. He really needed to have fun after everything that's been going on.

I've been sitting on the couch all night, trying to find an apartment. I've thought about getting one here at the Palm Woods, but I needed more options.

I felt like going to sleep, but I needed to keep looking for a place. I went to pick up the newspaper again, but stopped when Savannah's crying came over the baby monitor. I decided to just let her cry.

After a few minutes of crying, I couldn't take it. Right as I was about to get up from the couch, Savannah stopped crying. I figured she had fallen back asleep, then a new sound came over the monitor. It sounded like humming.

At first I thought I was hearing things, but the humming continued. I thought it was Kendall, that wasn't his voice. This one was a little softer and angelic. It almost sounded like…..Logan.

No it cant be. Logan's not here. He's gone….right?

I decided to find out what was going on. I stood up from the couch, and quietly made my way down the hall. I could still hear the humming, and it seemed to be getting louder each time I got closer to my room.

I reached my room, and I slowly opened the door. I switched on the light, and the humming stopped. The room was completely silent and empty. Savannah started crying again, and I ran over to the bassinet. I gently picked her up, and tried to calm her down.

"Shh its ok. Daddy's here." I said softly.

Savannah stopped crying, and looked up at me with her tear filled eyes. I shushed her again, then kissed the top of her head. I rocked her back to sleep, then I placed her in the bassinet. I gave her another kiss, then walked over to the door.

I scanned the room again, but nothing was there. I couldn't explain the strange humming. I was probably really tired, and I was starting to hear things. Right as I was about to turn off the light, I got a strong whiff of a familiar scent. It smelled of vanilla and peppermint. It smelled like Logan.

What was going? First I hear Logan humming, and now I can smell him. This doesn't make sense. Logan's gone. I saw him with my own eyes getting lowered into the ground. He wasn't here…..or was he?

I didn't know if I was going crazy, or if Kendall was right. Maybe Logan was still here.

**A/N: Hi, so i decided to post two chaps tonight. i wouldve posted it sooner, but i had to watch BTR on nightline. they were sooo hot! anyway i hope this chap wasnt bad, and what did you guys think? well bye for now =D**


	62. Chapter 62

**Kendall's POV**

My eyes slowly fluttered open when I felt someone shaking me. Carlos was sitting on my bed, looking down at me.

"Kendall," he whispered. "Kendall, wake up."

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Your mom wants you to get up." Carlos said.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"One-thirty."

"Oh"

"Why are you sleeping in this late? We're starting to get worried." Carlos said.

"I just haven't been sleeping that great. My dreams are keeping me awake." I said.

"What are they about? Logan?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah." I said.

"Its ok buddy. We're all here for you." Carlos said.

"I know." I said.

"C'mon. Your mom really wants you up." Carlos said.

I nodded, and climbed out of bed. Carlos left the room, and I went to take a quick shower. I really just wanted to stay in bed all day, but I knew my mom wouldn't want me to. And if I want to prove to everyone that I was getting better, I have to start acting like it.

I really needed to start getting up at a reasonable time, but all those dreams I have keep me up. Not all of the dreams are bad, but some are. Sometimes I dream of memories of Logan, and all the great times we had together. Other times, the dreams are more like nightmares. Those one's where always of Logan laying in a puddle of his blood, asking me for help. But I can never get to him. I hated those dreams the most.

I got out of the shower, and threw on some clothes for the day. I left the bathroom and went into the living room. My mom was in the kitchen making lunch, Carlos was watching tv, Katie was playing on her lap top, and James was feeding his daughter.

I really didn't want to be in the same room as James, because he made it really awkward with that conversation we had the other day. I was actually surprised he hasn't asked me to move in with him again. I thought for sure he would be begging me twenty- four seven, but he wasn't. Maybe he realized that I didn't want to go with him. I want to stay here, because Logan is here.

After lunch, my mom decided to go to the gym, and Katie went to the park. Now it really felt weird because it was just us guys. I was praying James wouldn't talk to me today. I sat awkwardly on the couch, glancing at James every now and then. He would look at me a few times, and I would quickly turn away. I didn't like how awkward it was between us, but James was the one who made it that way.

James stood up from the couch, and went to his room. I figured he went to put the baby down for a nap. Carlos picked up the remote, and muted the tv.

"Ok, what's going on with you guys now?" Carlos asked.

"Nothing." I said.

"Kendall, I'm not that stupid. I know you guys are still being weird after that conversation." Carlos said.

"He told you?" I asked.

"Yeah. He tells me everything." Carlos said.

"Then why wont he date you? You guys would be cute, and at least he would leave me alone." I said.

"James and I don't like each other like that." Carlos said.

"Mhm sure." I said.

"Kendall, can you just talk to him? He's been weird all morning. I'm even a little surprised he actually went to our room." Carlos said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When I came home last night, I found him sleeping on the couch. I told him to go to his bed, but he didn't want to." Carlos said.

"Hmm weird." I said..

"Can you please talk to him?" Carlos asked.

"Why? I thought you guys tell each other everything." I said.

"But he wont tell me, so maybe he will talk to you. Plus, you guys need to fix this." Carlos said.

"There is nothing that needs to be fixed. James is just being weird." I said.

"And that doesn't need to be fixed?" Carlos asked.

"Nah." I said.

"Kendall!"

"Ok fine."

Carlos rolled his eyes, then grabbed the remote. He put the volume back on, and continued watching his show. James came back into the living room, and he looked at me.

"Kendall, can we talk?" he asked.

I nodded, and followed James down the hallway. Instead of going to his room, we went to mine.

"What's wrong with yours?" I asked

"I just don't want to go in there." James said.

"Ok? Anyway what's up?" I asked.

"I just wanted to know how you were doing." James said.

"Is that really what you wanted to talk to me about? Or is this about moving out with you?" I asked.

James sighed. "Ok you got me."

"I knew it. James, I don't want to talk about this." I said.

"Please Kendall. Just say you'll go with me." James said.

"I cant, James." I said.

I went to leave the room, but James grabbed my arm. He pulled me close and crashed our lips together. I didn't kiss him back. I didn't want to. But his lips felt so good against mine, that I couldn't help but move my lips along with his.

I cant do this. I shouldn't be doing this. I love Logan, and I always will. I cant be with James, let alone kiss him. I pushed James off me, and he furrowed his brows.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"I love you, Kendall, and I know you still have feelings for me." James said.

"I cant be with you. I don't want to hurt Logan." I said.

"Please Kendall, give me another chance. I can make you happy again. We can be happy together with Savannah." James said.

"Please leave." I said.

"Kendall."

"I need to be alone." I said.

James sighed, and walked out of the room. I collapsed on my bed, and covered my face with my hands. I didn't know what to do. I have to admit James was right. I do have some feelings for him, but I'm afraid to show them. I still love Logan, and I cant hurt him anymore. Not even in death. I didn't know what to do. I cant go with James. I just cant.

"Logan, please help me. What should I do?" I asked.

My room remained silent, and I sighed. Maybe Logan really wasn't here. I was probably just losing it. I rolled onto my side, and closed my eyes. Right now I really needed some sleep.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

"Kendall."

My eyes slowly fluttered open when I heard someone whisper my name. I sat up and looked around the room, but no one was there. I looked at the alarm clock beside me, and saw that it was around midnight. I rubbed my face, then laid back down. I closed my eyes, and started to drift off to sleep.

My eyes opened again when I felt someone stroking my cheek. I sat up quickly, and looked around, but my room was still empty.

"Kendall."

I heard someone whisper my name again, and I turned on the lamp next to me. My eyes widened when I saw Logan standing by the door. I quickly shut my eyes.

"_Logan's not here. He's not here. I'm seeing things." _I mentally said.

I felt a hand gently stroke my cheek, and I opened my eyes. Logan was sitting next to me, and rubbing my cheek soothingly.

"L-Logie?" I asked.

"I'm here, Kenny." he said.

"How? You're g-gone." I said.

"I never left. I'm still here, Kenny. Watching over you everyday." Logan said.

"I miss you." I said.

"I know, but I'm here now. You don't have to cry." Logan said as he gently brushed away my tears.

"Why did you have to leave me? I'm a mess without you." I said.

"I didn't mean to. I would never want to leave you. I'm so sorry, Kenny. I'm sorry." Logan said.

"I just wish you didn't leave me." I said.

"I didn't leave you completely. You just cant see me all the time, but I'm still here." Logan said.

"Logan, I really need you. I cant live without you. I tried…"

"I know what you tried to do. Why did you do it, Kenny?"

"Because I need you, Logan. I wanted to be with you, and if killing myself was the only way, then I would do it." I said.

"Kendall, I don't want you to ever hurt yourself. You're needed here." Logan said.

"So are you. Your daughter needs you so much, Logie." I said.

"And that's why I need you to be there for her." Logan said.

"No I cant. She's not mine." I said.

"Please Kendall. I cant be here for her, and I need you to take my place. Please take care of her for me." Logan said.

"Logan, I cant. I just cant." I said.

"Please Kendall. I want to be there for her, but I cant. I need you to do this. Please take care of my little girl." Logan said.

I had to turn away from him. His brown eyes were filled with tears, and I couldn't look at him. He was asking so much of me, and I'm not sure I can do it. I just cant.

"Logan, I cant." I said.

"Kendall, I really need you to do this. You know I cant be there for Savannah, and that's why I need you to be her other father. Because I cant." Logan said.

"Logan, I…."

"Please Kendall. I love her so much, and she deserves the best. She deserves you."

"But what about James? I don't have the same feelings for him." I said.

"I know you still have some feelings for him, but you're afraid. Its ok Kendall. I want you to move on. I want you to be happy again." Logan said.

"I cant hurt you, Logan." I said.

"You're hurting me by not being there for my daughter. Its ok if you go with James. I want you, James and Savannah to be happy." Logan said.

"But it doesn't feel right doing this to you." I said.

"I know that, but you have to. James also needs you. Please Kendall do this for James and Savannah. Do this for me." Logan said.

"But I love you." I said.

"Then you would do this for me." Logan said.

I started crying, and Logan wrapped me in a hug. I buried my face into his chest, and he rubbed my back soothingly.

"I cant do this, Logie." I sobbed.

"Yes you can. You're Kendall Knight, the strongest person I've ever known. You can do this ok? I know you can. Please be strong for me." Logan said.

"I love you, Logan." I said.

Logan pulled away, and gently stroked my cheek. "I love you too."

"Please promise to help me, and never leave my side." I said.

"I promise, Kenny. I'll always be here to help and guide you along the way." Logan said.

"I wish you never left. There was so many things we still had to do. I was going to ask you to marry me." I said.

"Oh Kendall I'm sorry. I'm so sorry we never got to have a future. But you have to understand that I never meant to leave you. I love you so much." Logan said.

"I love you too. Forever and….."

"Always."

More tears started running down my face, and Logan pulled me into a gentle kiss. It felt like its been forever since we've done this. I never wanted us to separate. Logan stopped kissing me, but his lips lingered on mine.

"I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

Logan pulled away, and stood up from the bed. I quickly grabbed his hand.

"Please don't go. Stay with me." I said.

Logan sat back down, and I pulled him down to lay beside me. I moved the big pillow out of the way, and Logan chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"I thought you hated that thing?" Logan asked.

"I don't anymore. When I sleep with it, it feels like you're right next to me." I said.

"I'm always right next to you. Just like I am now." Logan said.

I smiled, and pulled Logan closer to me. He rested his head on my chest, and I kissed the top of his head.

"Logie?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I didn't let you hold Savannah." I said.

"Its ok." Logan said.

"Why did you keep asking for her?" I asked.

"Because I knew. I knew I was dying, and I just wanted to hold her one last time." Logan said.

"I'm so sorry. I feel so guilty." I said.

"Don't be. Its no ones fault this happened." Logan said.

"It just hurts to know that you wont be here with me physically." I said.

"I know, Kenny. But I'm still here for you and everyone else." Logan said.

"Is that why you didn't go to heaven?" I asked.

"Actually, I'm not ready to go. I've seen the light, but I don't want to go in it. There is still things I have to do here first." Logan said.

"Like what?" I asked.

" Like making sure everyone I love is doing ok." Logan said.

"I feel better now that I know you're still around." I said.

"And I will be. Until it seems like you guys don't need me anymore." Logan said.

"I will always need you." I said.

"And I will always love you." Logan said.

I gave Logan a kiss on the lips, and he smiled. I let out a yawn, but I tried to stay awake. I didn't want this moment to end.

"Go to sleep, Kenny." Logan whispered.

"But I want to stay with you." I said.

"I'll be here, watching you sleep. I will always be here." Logan said.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." Logan said.

My eyes fluttered, then closed completely. I could still feel and smell Logan beside me. Logan started humming softly, and I drifted off to sleep. Safe and warm in Logan's arms.

**A/N: Konnichi wa (Hello). this chap made me sad, but happy cuz Logan was there to comfort Kendall. i listened to some songs that helped me get in the sad mood. heres the links to the songs if you guys are interested:.com/watch?v=uuW8xHejB9U. .com/watch?v=1tShKvvd7l0. i hope this chapter was good and that you guys liked it. im sorry to say that i wont be able to update till sunday. im going camping with my fam and my stpedads sister's fam. ugh his sister is so boring and so is the daughter. at least i get to bring my notebook and dog. then my dog can eat the little girl. muhahaha. just kidding. or am i? anyway i promise to update when i get back. bye for now =D**


	63. Chapter 63

**James POV**

I sat quietly on my bed, going through Savannah's things. Logan had bought and received a lot of clothes for her. I'm pretty sure my own daughter had more clothes then I did. Which was weird to me.

I really hope I can find an apartment soon. I cant stay here forever. I still needed to tell Mrs. Knight that I planned on moving out. I knew she would be upset about it, but she has to understand that I cant live here anymore. I have my reasons for leaving, and Mrs. Knight needs to understand that.

I folded the last of Savannah's clothes, then I put them away. I walked over to the bassinet when Savannah started crying. I figured she was hungry, so I left the room to get her a bottle.

I was glad the apartment was actually quiet for once, well except for Savannah's crying. Mrs. Knight had gone out with Katie, and Carlos managed to drag Kendall out to the pool. I was happy Kendall was doing better, and actually leaving his room.

This morning, Kendall seemed happy. Something I haven't seen in a while. I felt like asking him about it, but I was afraid he was still mad at me. He wasn't exactly happy that I kissed him, but he surprisingly kissed me back. I wasn't expecting him to, but he did. And that gave me hope for us.

I was afraid that Logan wouldn't approve of the idea of Kendall and I. He did in fact not like Kendall and I together when he was alive, and I wonder if he knows I kissed Kendall. I did hear Logan the other night, but I didn't know if it was really him. I blamed it on not getting enough sleep, but I don't know if that was really it. I don't really believe in ghosts, but maybe my best friend was haunting us.

I walked into the kitchen and started to make Savannah's bottle. Once the bottle was made, I tested the temperature. It was perfect. Savannah started crying louder, and I left the kitchen. I walked into the bedroom, and dropped the bottle.

Logan was standing in the middle of the room, gently rocking Savannah in his arms.

"L-Logan?" I asked.

Logan looked up at me and smiled. "Hi, James."

"How? I thought you were…"

"I am, but I'm still here, James." Logan said.

"This cant be happening. I must be dreaming." I said.

"James, you're not dreaming. I'm really here, and I've been here." Logan said,

"So you're a ghost?" I asked.

"Mhm. Its funny how I never believed in them, yet I'm one now." Logan said.

"Why did you leave us?" I asked.

"Kendall asked the same thing." Logan said.

"He did?" I asked.

"I visited him last night. I needed to make sure he was doing ok." Logan said.

"He hasn't been doing that great. He tried to….kill himself." I said.

"I know, but he promised he wouldn't do that anymore." Logan said.

"Logan, no offense, but why are you here?" I asked.

"I needed to check on you guys. You and Kendall really need me, and I'm here to show you I'm still around." Logan said.

"I need you so much, Logan. I cant raise our daughter on my own." I said.

"And that's why I asked Kendall to help you. I want both of you to raise Savannah." Logan said.

"But I thought you don't like Kendall with me." I said.

"Its ok if you be with him. Yes, I still love him, but I want him to be happy. And you're the only one who can make him that way again." Logan said.

"What if I cant? You've always been there for him more then I have." I said.

"But I cant be there for him now. I need you to be with him, and to treat him right." Logan said.

"I will, Logan. I promise." I said.

Logan smiled. "Thank you, James."

Savannah let out a whimper, and Logan held her tightly to his chest. Logan hummed softly to her, and Savannah stopped crying.

"She's beautiful." Logan said.

"She looks just like you. I swear I don't see anything in her that's me." I said.

"Well she whines a lot. That's a lot like you." Logan said.

I rolled my eyes, and Logan chuckled.

"I'm just kidding, Jamie." Logan said.

"Yeah right." I said.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Logan asked.

"For hurting you. I'm really sorry for how I treated you. I wish I never did any of those things to you." I said.

"If you never did any of those things, then we wouldn't have Savannah." Logan said.

"I just wish you didn't have to leave." I said.

"I know. I wish I never left either, but you have to understand that I never meant to." Logan said.

"I know, but it doesn't feel the same without you. Everything is so different that you're gone." I said.

Logan sighed, and placed the baby back in the bassinet. He gave Savannah a kiss on the head, then he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and I immediately felt cold.

"I'm sorry I left, James. I'm sorry I left you alone to raise our daughter." Logan said.

"I'm just scared. I'm afraid I'll mess up along the way." I said.

"I'm here for you, James. I promise to help you ok? You're my friend, and I will always be with you." Logan said.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I held onto Logan tightly, and tears slipped from my eyes. I never wanted to let him go. He's the father of my baby, he's like my brother, and he's my best friend. I never wanted him to leave me.

"I love you, Logan. You're the greatest friend I've ever had." I said.

"I love you too, James. And I'm glad you're my friend. I'm glad you're the father of my baby." Logan said.

"Please don't leave me. I need you." I said.

"I wont leave, James. And I know you need me, but you have Kendall now. Everything will be fine." Logan said.

I nodded, and Logan pulled away from me. He brushed away my tears, then gently stroked my cheek.

"Be strong, James. And you'll be just fine." Logan said.

I nodded. "Ok"

Logan smiled, then he walked over to Savannah. He gently stroked her cheek, then gave her another kiss on the head.

"I love you sweetie. Please don't ever forget me." Logan said.

"She wont, Logan. I promise to tell her everything about you." I said.

"Thanks James. I really appreciate it." Logan said.

I saw tears run down Logan's face, then he slowly started to disappear.

"No Logan don't go. Please don't go." I said.

"I'll always be with you. Always." Logan said.

Tears ran down my face as I watched my best friend disappear. Once his form vanished, I let out a choked sob. I didn't want him to leave me. Even though he was still here, it didn't feel the same. Nothing ever will.

"James?"

I turned around to see Kendall standing in the doorway. I turned away from him, and quickly wiped my tears.

"James?" Kendall asked as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "Are you ok?"

"Y-yeah I'm ok." I said.

"Listen, I really want to tell you something." Kendall said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I've been thinking, and with a little help from someone, I've decided to go with you. I like you, James, a lot, but I want to see what happens between us. I know you love me, but I'm not sure my feelings are that strong yet. James, I'm willing to give you another chance." Kendall said.

"Really? You'll move out with me?" I asked.

"Yeah. I want to be there for you and Savannah. Logan would want me to." Kendall said.

I pulled Kendall into a hug, and tears ran down my face. I've never felt so happy in my life. I had a feeling things were going to get better. Logan was right, everything will be fine now. That was something I've been wanting forever. I wanted everything to be fine, and now it was getting there.

**A/N: HI! IM BACK! phew longest, most boring weekend of my life. i swear i wanted to hit my stepdad's neice and nephew. they were dissing btr. no one does that and gets away with it. so my dog helped me out lol. anyway i will update twice today because i start school tomorrow =(. i dont wanna go, but i have to. i will update again ok. bye for now =D**


	64. Chapter 64

**Kendall's POV**

A few weeks later, and I found myself moving in with James and Savannah. We found a nice apartment for the three of us here at the Palm Woods. It was almost like 2J, but it was a little smaller. It was still perfect to me.

Big Time Rush wasn't over for us. Gustavo had turned the band into a threesome, but it still wasn't the same to me. We still had our loving fans by our side, but all of Logan's fans weren't happy. When they found out he passed away, they were miserable. A lot of the fans gave us their condolences, which we highly appreciated. We didn't tell them he died by giving birth, so we said he was in a car accident.

I was starting to get a lot better, and I was becoming myself again. I guess seeing Logan made me myself again. I still see him from time to time, and if I don't see him, then I can definitely feel him. I know he's still here, and I couldn't be happier. My Logie never left.

Savannah and I have gotten really close over these passed few weeks. I never wanted to leave her side for anything. I loved her so much, and I knew she loved me too. I was glad I could be her other father, but Logan will always be her daddy. And I was going to make sure she knew that.

My feelings for James have gotten a lot stronger. I'm not sure if I love him yet, but I'm really close to falling in love with him. He might not be Logan, but James was still there for me. He's made me whole again, and I cant thank him enough for that.

Everything seemed to be going great in our new apartment. Nothing bad ever happened between James and I. It seemed like we never fought. But if James was annoying me, I would tell him to knock it off. We have never gotten into any really bad fights, so I was happy about that.

I started seeing Logan in the apartment, but I never told James. I didn't want him to think I was crazy. I would talk to Logan a few times, but James never found out about it. I guess that was the only thing I kept from James.

"Hey," I said as I walked into our bedroom. "I just put Savannah to bed."

"Thanks." James said.

I crawled onto the bed, and snuggled next to James. He was going through a photo album, and looking at all the pictures of Logan.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Nothing. Just going through old pictures." James said.

"Why?" I asked.

"No reason." James said.

"Ok." I said.

I watched as James flipped through the pages, and I would stop him from time to time to look at a certain picture. I couldn't help but shed a few tears when I looked at pictures of Logan. It just reminded me that he wasn't here.

"Hey Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't….never mind." James said.

"You don't want? Tell me." I said.

"You'll hate me." James said.

"Is it about us?" I asked.

"No."

"Then tell me. I promise I wont get mad."

James sighed. "I don't want Savannah to know about Logan."

"What! Why?" I asked.

"Its too hard to explain. I just don't want her to know." James said.

"James, you cant keep this from her. Logan is her father." I said.

"You're her father now." James said.

"But Logan is her birth father. You cant keep this from her. Logan would want Savannah to know about him." I said.

"Kendall, I just don't want Savannah to know." James said.

"If she's my daughter too, then I say she deserves to know about Logan." I said.

"Kendall, you don't understand." James said.

"Then tell me what you're thinking." I said.

James sighed and turned away from me. He went back to looking at the pictures, and he slowly traced one of the photos of Logan. I got up from the bed, and left the room. I didn't want to be here right now. I just couldn't. I grabbed my jacket, then I left the apartment. I needed to be somewhere else for a while.

I felt like going to 2J, and talking to someone, but everyone was already asleep. I just decided to go somewhere else. A place that was quiet and good for thinking. Logan's hiding spot.

I took the stairs all the way up, then I opened the door at the top. A cool breeze immediately hit my face when I walked onto the roof. It was cold up here, but I didn't care. I needed to be alone.

I sat down towards the edge of the roof, and I brought my legs up to my chest. I guess I could've chosen another spot to be alone, but I liked it up here. There was so many memories.

My mind started wandering, then it came back to James. I was so upset with him right now. How could he want to hide Logan from Savannah? Savannah needs to know who Logan was. I don't want to hide it from her, but James does. And I don't know why.

Logan would be so upset if he knew what James wanted to do. Logan would want his little girl to know about him. He's not just some faded memory. His more then that, but James doesn't care. James only cares about himself.

I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt a teardrop fall on my hand. I brushed away my tears, but they kept falling. I closed my eyes and rested my head in my lap.

"Kenny, don't cry."

I looked up to see Logan sitting right next to me. He placed his hand on my back, and gently rubbed it.

"I cant help it." I said.

"Please don't cry for me. I'm not hurting anymore." Logan said.

"But I still miss you, and James is making everything worse. You told me everything would be fine, but its not." I said.

"It'll take time to get there." Logan said.

"This is too hard, Logan." I said.

"Don't give up, Kenny. Be the Kendall I know you to be." Logan said.

"But nothing's right anymore. You're not here with me, Big Time Rush probably wont last much longer, and James is trying to hide you from Savannah." I said.

Logan sighed. "I know."

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah, and it hurts." Logan said.

"I'm so sorry, Logie." I said.

"Kendall, don't let him do this. I want my daughter to know who I am. Please tell her about me. Tell her everything. You know more about me then anyone else. Tell her about me, Kenny. Please." Logan said.

"I will, Logie. I promise." I said.

Logan rested his head on my shoulder. "Thank you."

I nodded, and wrapped my arms around Logan. I kissed the top of his head, and he smiled.

"I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I said.

"And don't be afraid to fall in love with James." Logan said.

"I'm just afraid you wont love me anymore." I said.

"I will always love you, Kendall." Logan said.

"I will never forget you." I said.

"I know, and I will never stop loving you. I love you so much, Kendall." Logan said.

"I love you too. Forever and….."

"Always."

I smiled and gave Logan another kiss on the head. We will always have each other. Forever and always.

**A/N: well this will be my last update, unless i can update tomorrow after school. so i will try. anyway i was upset wih James in this, but he will talk to Kendall in the next chap. well bye for now =D.**


	65. Chapter 65

**James POV**

I tossed the photo album to the floor, and I ran my hand through my hair. I couldn't believe I just did that. I just upset Kendall, and I shouldn't have. Everything was going just fine between us, then I messed it up.

I felt so stupid right now. I just upset the guy I am madly in love with, and I probably upset Logan as well. I know I told Logan that I would tell Savannah about him, but now I wasn't so sure if I wanted to. I know Savannah deserves to know about Logan, but I'm scared to tell her. What if she cant handle the truth? I just cant tell her.

I practically jumped out of bed when I heard the front door open. I really needed to apologize to Kendall. I just hope he can forgive me for acting like a huge asshole.

I slowly walked into the living room, and saw Kendall putting his jacket away. He seemed like he calmed down, but I wasn't sure. I hope we can fix this, because I don't want to lose him.

"Kendall?" I asked.

"We need to talk." Kendall said.

"I know, but please don't leave me." I said.

"Lets just talk, James." Kendall said.

I nodded and followed Kendall over to the couch. I sat down next to him, and he grabbed my hands.

"James, I really think you should tell Savannah about Logan. She really needs to know" Kendall said.

"I know, but….."

"James, if you're scared, I'll help you. We can both tell Savannah."

"Kendall, I want to tell her, but I'm scared. What if she cant handle it all? What if she gets made fun of or called a freak? What if she hates me? What if she thinks I'm responsible for Logan's death? I don't want her to hate me. I don't." I said.

"Oh James," Kendall said as he wrapped me in a hug. "Savannah will not think that."

"What if she does? I don't want her to hate me." I said.

"She will never hate you. She loves you so much." Kendall said.

"I just don't want her to think I'm the one who took her daddy away." I said.

"She wont, James. Savannah will never think you did that, but you have to tell her the truth. You cant lie to her about this." Kendall said.

"I know, but you don't know how scared I am. I bet Logan hates me for doing this. He wanted me to tell her about him, and I said I would, but I lied to him." I said.

"Wait, you talked to Logan?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I didn't want you to think I was losing it or something." I said.

"James, I wouldn't have thought that. I've seen and talked to Logan too. We're not crazy." Kendall said.

I chuckled. "Ok good."

"So you will tell Savannah, right?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah I will, but can I wait a few years? I want her to be older so she can understand more." I said.

"I think telling her when she is older makes more sense anyway." Kendall said.

"What do we do when she is growing up?" I asked.

"Just watch and be there for her." Kendall said.

"Do you think she will get made fun of?" I asked.

"I don't know, James." Kendall said.

"I don't want her to. She is my little girl, and I don't want her to get hurt." I said.

"You'll protect her, James." Kendall said.

"No. We will." I said.

Kendall smiled, then gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"I just thought I could kiss you." Kendall said.

"But you missed." I said.

Kendall gave me a confused look, and I kissed him on the lips. He hesitated at first, then he kissed me back. I lowered him down onto his back, our lips never separating.

"James, I don't think we should do this." Kendall said after pulling away.

"If you don't want to, then we can wait. I don't want to pressure you." I said.

Kendall bit his lip, and thought about it for a minute. I knew he was nervous, but I didn't want to pressure him. If he wasn't ready, then I will wait.

"I guess we can continue." Kendall said.

"Are you sure? If you're not ready, then we don't have to do this." I said.

"No I'm ready, but can we do this in the bedroom? I would feel more comfortable in there." Kendall said.

I nodded, and lifted Kendall into my arms. He held onto me tightly as I carried him to our room. When we reached our room, I gently placed him on the bed. I walked over to the nightstand, and started looking for the lube and condoms.

"Shit!" I said.

Kendall propped himself up on his elbows. "What?" he asked.

"I don't have any condoms." I said.

"Its ok." Kendall said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"You cant get pregnant, can you?" I asked.

Kendall chuckled. "No, James."

"Ok just checking." I said.

I grabbed the bottle of lube, then went back over to Kendall. I crawled in between his legs, and connected our lips again. Kendall let out a moan when I slid my tongue into his mouth. I pulled away, and started to unbutton his blue plaid shirt. I pushed the fabric off his shoulders, and he sat up to remove his undershirt.

"You're so beautiful." I said.

"No I'm not." Kendall said.

I gave Kendall a peck on the lips. "Yes you are."

Kendall blushed, and I gave him another kiss. I pulled my shirt off, and tossed it to the side. I removed both mine and Kendall's jeans, leaving us both in our boxers. I slowly pulled Kendall's boxers down, and he blushed furiously.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Y-yeah. I'm just nervous." Kendall said.

"You mean you've never been on the bottom before?" I asked.

"Once I was, but that was a long time ago." Kendall said.

"Don't worry. I'll be really gentle." I said.

Kendall nodded, and I gave him another kiss. I lowered my hands and grabbed his cock, pumping it slowly. Kendall let out a moan, and I started to jack him off faster. Before Kendall could release, I let go of him, and he let out a whimper of loss.

I spread Kendall's legs wide open, and I slicked my fingers with the lube. I put my fingers to Kendall's entrance, then I gently pushed one finger in. Kendall let out a hiss when I inserted another, and started to thrust them. He let out another cry, and I took my fingers out.

"Its ok, Kendall." I said.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to this." Kendall said.

"I'll be gentle ok? I don't want to hurt you." I said.

Kendall nodded. "Ok. I trust you."

I gave him another kiss, then I covered my cock with lube. I lined myself up with Kendall's entrance, then I slowly pushed in. Kendall let out a cry, and clutched my arm tightly. I didn't want to hurt him, but I wasn't all the way inside of him. I tried to be as gentle as I could as I pushed all the way in.

"Move." Kendall said when he was fully adjusted.

I started moving slowly, then I went a little faster. Kendall moaned and arched his back every time I would thrust into him.

"James!" Kendall cried out when I hit his sweet spot.

I pulled out of him, then I slammed back in, hitting that spot dead on.

"I'm so close." Kendall said.

"Me too." I said.

I continued to thrust into Kendall, then he came all over me and himself. After pounding into a Kendall a few more time, I released my load into him. I gently pulled out, then I laid down next to Kendall. He snuggled closer to me, and rested his head on my chest. I smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too, Jamie." Kendall whispered back.

I smiled and rested my head on top of his. Kendall said it. He said he loved me. Hearing him finally say those three little words made me smile. I've been waiting years for him to say that to me, and now he did. Kendall Knight loved me.

**A/N: HI. so sorry for not updating right away. my first day of school was hell, and i just didnt feel like typing. but i have the next few days off cuz of field trips, so i have time to update. i will post the last chap either later today or tomorrow. yeah its the last chap of this story. im sorry, but all things must come to an end right? i will update later. bye bye =D**


	66. Chapter 66

**Kendall's POV**

I wasn't even asleep five minutes before Savannah woke me up. I groaned and my eyes fluttered open. James was laying right next to me, and sleeping soundly. I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

I couldn't believe I just slept with James. I wasn't looking at it as a bad thing, but I never thought I would end up with him. I only thought of him as a friend, but now that all changed for me. I was in love with James Diamond.

I got out of bed, and slipped my pajamas on, then I went to the baby's room. Savannah was still crying, but she stopped when she saw me. I carefully picked her up, and gently rocked her in my arms. I gave her my pinkie to suck on, and she sucked on it eagerly.

I went to put her back in the crib so I could make her a bottle, but she started crying again. I tried to calm her down, so she wouldn't wake up James. I didn't want James to get out of bed, because he would be a little grumpy. And I didn't really want to deal with a grumpy James at the moment.

I decided to just set Savannah down in the crib, and quickly make her a bottle. It wasn't exactly easy to make a bottle with one hand anyway. I gently placed Savannah in the crib, then I went to make her a bottle.

I came back a few minutes later, and I picked Savannah up again. I sat down in the rocking chair, and gave her the bottle. Savannah sucked eagerly on it, and kept her brown eyes on mine.

"You're really good at that."

I looked up to see Logan standing in the middle of the room. I was a little surprised to see him again. He was here not even an hour ago, talking to me on the roof, and now he was back. I had to admit I was glad to see him again.

"Its not easy." I told him.

"But you still do a good job at caring for her. Savannah really likes you, Kenny." Logan said.

"Well I really like her too. She is just perfect." I said.

Logan smiled. "Yeah she is."

"Is something wrong, Logan? I mean you were just here." I said.

"Are you getting tired of me?" Logan asked.

"No! Never! I was just wondering." I said.

"I just wanted to see how things were doing. I was wondering if you and James made up." Logan said.

"We did." I said.

"That's good. I don't want you guys fighting anymore." Logan said.

"We wont, Logie." I said.

Logan nodded, then walked over to me. He reached out and gently stroked Savannah's head. She looked up at Logan, and he smiled down at her. Logan's smiled faltered when something crossed his mind.

"Logie, are you ok?" I asked.

"Did James say anything?" Logan asked.

"About what?"

"About Savannah. Is he going to tell her about me?"

"Yeah we talked about it. He said he will tell her, but when she's older." I said.

"How old?" Logan asked.

"I guess in her teen years." I said.

"Kenny, that's too long. Can you please tell her about me during her childhood? I don't want her to wait till she's older." Logan said.

"But James is afraid she wont understand." I said.

"Kendall, she'll love to hear about me. Please tell her all the stories." Logan said.

"Logan, I think she needs to be older." I said.

"No she doesn't. I want her to know about me." Logan said.

"And she will. Just when the right time comes." I said.

Logan sighed. "Can I still see her?"

"I don't know. I have to ask James." I said.

"No you don't. He cant tell me when I can or cant see my daughter. I want to see her, Kenny." Logan said.

I sighed and looked down at Savannah. She was still sucking on her bottle, but she would stop to look up at Logan. I don't want to keep him away from his daughter, but what if Savannah doesn't understand? She wouldn't know who Logan is, and I wanted to tell her about him, but I think she needs to be older. When Savannah is older, she will understand more. It just make more sense to wait.

"Can I, Kenny?" Logan asked.

"What if she see's you?" I asked.

"She wont ok? I'll be there, but she wont see me." Logan said.

"Ok." I said.

Logan smiled and kissed Savannah on the head. Savannah pulled away from her bottle, and looked up at Logan.

"Hi baby girl." Logan said.

Savannah tried reaching out for Logan, and he grabbed her little hand.

"She likes you." I said.

"I hope she does forever." Logan said.

"Of course she will. You're her daddy." I said.

"And so are you." Logan said.

"Sometimes I don't think I should be." I said.

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Because she isn't my baby. Yeah I love her, but….."

"Kendall, she is just as much as yours as she is mine. I chose you to care for her because I know you're the perfect person to raise her. You even said that you would treat her like your own before she was even born. Don't doubt yourself ok? You're a great father." Logan said.

"And so are you. You love her so much that you gave up everything for her. You even came back just to see her." I said.

"I came back for all of you. I love you guys so much, and I didn't want to leave." Logan said.

"You will be with us forever, right?" I asked.

Logan nodded and placed his hand over my heart. "I will always be in here."

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." Logan said.

I gave him a kiss on the lips, and he kissed me back. Savannah started squirming, and we pulled apart.

"I love you too, sweetie." Logan whispered to Savannah.

He gave her another kiss on the head, then he did the same to me.

"I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

Logan gave me another kiss, then he was gone. I let out a sigh, then I took the bottle out of Savannah's mouth. I burped her, then I put her back to bed. I gave her a kiss on the head, and she fell asleep.

"I love you." I whispered.

***BTR***BTR***

I couldn't believe a few years flew by, and Savannah was now a bubbly three year old. She was the most beautiful child I've ever set my eyes on. Her dark hair always flowed beautifully in the wind, and her chocolate eyes always had a sparkle to them. She was absolutely perfect.

Everything she did reminded me of Logan. When she was sleeping, she looked just like Logan. She was quiet and shy, but every now and then she would come out of her shell, and be a happy little girl. She had the most sweetest, angelic voice I've ever heard. Every time she sang, it reminded me of Logan. She was also very smart. It was obvious where she got that from. She knew a lot of words, and I could have a small conversation with her sometimes. She was just perfect and beautiful. I loved her so much.

Big Time Rush was over, and we were upset about that. James especially. It was his dream to become a famous pop star, but not all dreams last forever. But he is slowly trying not to care about it. James considers Savannah his dream, and to me, she's better then fame and fortune.

We moved out of the Palm Woods, and found a small house to reside in. It was perfect for the three of us, and I loved that the neighborhood was safe and quiet. It also kept us hidden from the paparazzi. When the band first broke up, we couldn't go anywhere. It was hard to do anything and to keep Savannah safe. Everyone wanted to know about her, but we kept her hidden. I asked James if we could move back to Minnesota, but he said no. So we just tried our best to live here.

Later on, it became a lot easier to do things. Even Carlos would visit us whenever he had the chance. He lived in a two bedroom apartment with Stephanie, and they seemed happy. Carlos decided he wanted to become a stuntman. It really didn't surprise us since he likes to do crazy stuff anyway, and it was a better choice then becoming a superhero. My mom and Katie moved back to Minnesota, but Katie wanted to come back to become an agent for some celebrity. I wasn't surprised at all.

I still love hockey, but I don't think that could be my profession now. I have a daughter to take care of, and a lot of my time goes to her. Maybe sometime in the future I can be a part of hockey in someway, but for right now, my job was a father. And I love my job very much.

James had gotten a few modeling jobs, but I didn't know how long that would last. I mean don't get me wrong, James is gorgeous! But how long will he stay that way? Knowing James, probably forever. James Diamond is a sex god!

I haven't seen Logan in a while, but I know he's still here. I can feel him sometimes, and it makes me wonder if anyone else can feel him too. If I did see him, I would always smile. I had a feeling he was going to be here for a while.

I really wanted to tell Savannah about Logan, but James wanted to wait until she was older. I just really wanted to tell her stories about Logan, and how he was as a person, but I had to wait. I didn't want to, but it was for the best.

"Daddy, where are we going?" Savannah asked.

"Somewhere special." I said.

Savannah nodded, and I finished tying her shoes. Once she was ready to go, I gave her a kiss on the nose.

"All done. Go find papa so we can leave." I said.

"Ok daddy!" Savannah said.

I smiled as I watched her run out of the room. I was nervous about doing this, but I really wanted to. I used to go alone, but I think Savannah deserves to come this time. She might not understand, but she will one day.

***BTR***BTR***

"Are you sure you wont to do this?" James asked.

I looked out the car window and nodded. "Yeah I'm sure."

"She's not going to understand though." James said.

"She will when she's older." I said.

James nodded, then got out of the car. I got out as well, and opened the back door.

"Hi daddy!" Savannah said.

"Hi sweetie." I said as I unbuckled her from the car seat.

I gently took her out of the car, then I set her down. I grabbed her hand, and we followed James through the big metal gate.

"Where are we going?" Savannah asked.

"To see someone very special." I said.

"Who?" Savannah asked.

"You'll see sweetheart." I said.

We walked quietly through the bright, green lawn, looking for that special someone. After a few minutes, we found it. I kneeled down, and gently dusted off the cool marble beneath me. Logan's name came into view, and a few tears slipped from my eyes.

"Hi, Logie." I said.

James handed me the flowers, and I placed them on the grave. James put his hand on my shoulder, and gently squeezed it.

"He's in a better place now." James said.

"I know." I said.

"Daddy, why are you sad?" Savannah asked.

"Because I miss him." I said.

"Who?" Savannah asked.

"Your…."

"Kendall." James warned.

"He was a very good friend to papa and I." I said.

"Was he nice?" Savannah asked.

"He was more then that, baby. He was the most amazing person I've ever met. I love him so much." I said.

"Where is he?" Savannah asked.

"He's in a really good place." I said.

"Oh." Savannah said.

"But he's also in here." I said as I placed my hand over Savannahs heart.

"Wow!" Savannah exclaimed.

I chuckled. "Its amazing."

"Kendall, we should go." James said.

"Give me a few more minutes." I said.

James nodded, then he walked over to the car. Savannah sat down next to me, and I placed her in my lap. I rested my head on top of hers, taking in her scent. Vanilla and peppermint. She even smelled like Logan. Savannah reached out, and slowly traced Logan's name with her tiny finger.

"Do you want to give Logan a flower?" I asked.

"Yes!" Savannah said.

I chuckled and picked up a flower. I gave it to her, and she placed it on Logan's grave.

"I love you." she whispered.

"He loves you too, sweetheart. So much." I said.

Savannah nodded, then rubbed her eyes.

"C'mon, sweetie. Lets go." I said.

Savannah climbed out of my lap, and I stood up from the ground. Savannah ran over to James, and he put her in the car. I turned back to Logan's grave, and a few tears rolled down my face.

"I love you so much, Logie. Forever and always." I said.

I didn't get a response back, but I knew he was here with me. He was always going to be here with me, James and Savannah. And that made me smile. Logan would always be with us, no matter what happens. It made me feel better that Logan was always going to be by our sides. He was here with us. Forever and always.

The End.

**A/N: HI. Um so thats the last chap. i didnt really like the ending, but oh well lol. i really hope you guys liked this story. i know i liked writing it. it was probably the only story of mine that i atually liked. i got more flames for this one, but i still finished it. so yay lol. oh! i am doing a sequal and its going to be about savannah finding out about Logan. all the truth comes out in that one. i dont know when i will post it, or how long it will be, but if you guys have any ideas for the second part. please let me know =). A big thank you to everyone who, reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story. it means a lot. thank you guys so much and take care.- Alexis =D**


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